10 Toxic Relationship Signs/How Unhealthy is Your Relationship

10 Toxic Relationship Signs/How Unhealthy is Your Relationship


52 comments

  1. Thank you Lisa, You're videos have such a huge impact on my life. I love that you understand those of us who have had narcissistic parents. Much love <3

  2. All of these were in my past… Left and moved on. Happier than ever. Working on me. Thank you.

  3. Do u have a right to leave your mother? To go no contact even though she is hoovering and lives 40 mins away? Some part of me feels I have to go back because she refuses to accept I won't talk to her after 43 yes of abuse and her latest round of devaluation.

  4. I had almost every single one of these in my marriage. It took a crisis for my husband to realize we had huge problems and to finally start to work on them. We are far from perfect, I am still healing, and we are in a constant state of trying to learn and communicate effectively, BUT I no longer feel like I am living in a prison and that I am invisible. It's very empowering to no longer be in a victim mentality and to finally take responsibility for my well being. Thank you for your videos, I started watching them months ago and have helped clarify so many things for me.

  5. Last night I spent an hour being nauseas to the point of crying. then I through up my dinner. I've lost 70lbs already. He just walks away when I'm talking. in his own world. I'm invisible. I'm bedridden. it's way WORSE than you even describe. I'm near suicide . I have nowhere to go and nobody to help. I have no recourse. I would leave in 2 seconds if I could. But I can't so I'll probably die.

  6. Not only are he and I not on the same page, we aren't even in the same book. We are not attuned and we don't "get" each other. I think it's lonelier being with him than if I was alone. My mistake in life has been that I have looked for a rescuer. Now I"m in a hole. It's not too late yet for me, but it's no time to linger either.

  7. Thank you for this. All ten signs were evident in my former relationship. For my peace of mind, I had to let go and move on. Best decision I ever made.

  8. wow..this could not have came at a better time. in the middle of an argument and arguing about these exact issues. so clarifying thank you. in my last 5 yr relationship I felt like I was in an awful prison suffocating and not being heard or taken seriously about how my feelings no matter what way I would try to show them. and I find myself in a different relationship now but dealing wth a few of these issues thank you for telling us the next step. I look up to u so much! namaste Lisa I'm glad you're out of hell 😊

  9. hey Lisa thanks a lot for your video I'm right now in a situation like that although we did take time off to reflect the two and a half year relationship that we were in to see if this is what we really want but everything you've mentioned I checked it got to that point do you think that being away from each other both going to therapy do you think that there is hope here for this to work out

  10. I also have been in recovery 12-step program and I'm feeling that I have a lot of awareness the problem is communication I don't know if he really wants to walk away from this and just put an excuse but I know him very well I think he would just send it I really think he felt there was no solutions for it but however at the end I called him out on all his stuff and because I did he is injured but I was not lying him I told him the truth about himself I hope I'm making sense anyway thanks I would love feedback

  11. I am so happy I saw this. A lot of clarity. A shift has been happening in my life and my two year relationship ended. I became aware of my codependency and started to change and everything has changed around me. I see through this that my ex and I felt comfortable alone, we laughed, it was the healthiest relationship I ever had. I was married to a narcassist for 3 years and it was abusive in every way. So this one seemed perfect. However, my now ex had issues with vulnerability, he was taught to keep everything in. So when I came to him about something I felt, he was very deflective and it hurt so bad. Being codependent I realized that it was cause I didn't feel important or seen. As much I tried to fight it I was hurt. He would be sarcastic, debate me, and he always had to be right. I always let down any time I tried to communicate. I couldn't have a deep conversation. He was affectionate and funny, but when it came to real life troubles he was absent and was clever in finding ways to not be around. I'm not even sure if he knew he was doing so. I saw my flaws due to not feeling enough and was wondering if I had ever made any real progress in my personal growth. I always wanted his validation that I mattered and that he cared. Now, the moment of truth. He sat me down one night saying we needed to work on ourselves and that we needed to split. I cried, asked questions, told him I would miss him, asked what did I do wrong. However, after a couple days, I realized something very important. He got his things and I sat him down. I gave him a letter, thanking him for the love and lessons I've learned. We talked and cried and then he left. I wasn't sad, I didn't wallow in sadness. I felt peace. After that, a few days later, I realized I was okay with TRULY being alone. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't hurting, I was happy! It was an AH HA! moment for me. All of a sudden I started feeling confident in myself and realized I am loving myself. Usually my heart latched to someone to feel that romantic emotion and to feel validated even if they didn't want me in that way. Subconsciously I would think that it would prove even more that I was worthy of love if I loved them despite their lack of love in return. This time, I am latching to myself. Cause I am enough. You gave me that mantra and I have carried it close for the last three months. I am 25 and healing thanks to you! I am happy, content, and proud of who I am becoming. I know this journey will never end, but you were the seed to true healing within myself in a real way. So I'll say this with all the love in my being… Thank you.

  12. Great video. I have been working on "codependent issues" for a long time. Dating someone new and feel guilty about wanting to leave . . . . Thank you!!

  13. I had a really strange experience when confronting my husband.

    I brought up a situation to him that was bothering me and his response was to stare at the wall- for ten minutes. I had to threaten to call an ambulance to get him to snap out of it.

    After he 'snapped out of it', he ventured into the living room and proceeded to lay down and stare at the ceiling. At this point I went upstairs to help my son with his homework and my husband yelled from downstairs 'I hear you talking about me'. I was actually talking to my son about his Spanish homework.

    I ignored the yelling. Five or so minutes later, my son and I started laughing about a Spanish word. Moments later I received a text that said 'Stop Effen laughing at me!'

    What's up with that??????

  14. What kind of relationship? Is it between a man and a woman Or the relationship between parents and adult child? I just want to get that cleared up and make sure I understand that perfectly.

  15. I had this problem until it was pointed out to me that I was self absorbed, expecting my happiness to come from him.  I felt unloved and had low self esteem and a hollowness in my life. Every time I tried to talk to him to get him to see me and want to be with me, he hated it.  No man wants to feel like he is a failure.    When I changed my mind and put 100% of me into the relationship, being the best wife I could, The most supportive wife, Someone where he felt  safe to come home to, everything changed. I wasn't expecting anything for myself during this time just showing up for him. I became happy because I wasn't expecting-wanting everything from him, instead I became everything for him.  Our relationship is the best it has ever been and we have been married 27yrs now with most of those years of being an unhappy wife and wanting leave but we had 6 children between us.  I just learned this last year when I read in Proverbs 12  how a bad wife is cancer to her  husbands bones.  I don't want, when I die, to be asked the question of how well did you love.  That just hit me in my core and made the biggest difference in both our lives.  He was everything you said on here, but I was jaded in expecting him to be my happiness.  Happiness and contentment come from you being the best you can be.  What happens after that is a complete bonus.  Lived this-done that.  I found that he needed to feel like a good husband.  Once he did, he became that good husband.  Amazing!

  16. From a solider that suffers from PTSD , it's refreshing to hear you. After coming back I dumped a lot of my stress upon my wife, and daughter. Hearing you is helping me to transcend my issues

  17. Every time I convince myself that abuse or trouble is around the corner I watch this video and I realize how abusive my previously relationship was and how supportive and amazing my current partner is and that I deserve to be treated well. I think we're both on the path of growth and are both learning to be venerable. It's taking time but I'm realizing now that's not a bad thing. Thank you Lisa!

  18. the narcahole devalued or discarded me every birthday ,holiday and I got unemployed in the first few months with him… he discarded me … each time I got a job or changed jobs in the next year he discarded me…. I didn't see theses patterns till the last month… and everything fell into place when I educated myself on this Mental Disorder.😣😣

  19. I felt stuck with him…. I stuck myself to him… I could have left… I felt stuck in the 'chase' stage…. and when I researched NPD… I realized he was ALWAYS stuck in the chase stage… his whole life is a repetition of the chase stage…and I got stuck in his insanity 😣😢

  20. All 10 things you mentioned were taking place in my marriage. I am SO grateful that I had the courage to leave my husband a year ago and haven’t looked back!

  21. Thanks for your time and effort in making these videos and sharing it with us . I'm a single child and have never been in a relationship . I can't point out what exactly was wrong with my parents but there's wasn't a healthy relationship. Your videos are really helping me to figure out things and overcome my committment phobia. I hope to get into a healthy relationship soon

  22. Every single one of these signs was present in my marriage…I will never accept that kind of relationship again. I feel like I have sooo much to look forward to. You Lisa, have been a huge part of my healing. Thank you!! 🙏💕

  23. Thank you so much Dear One 🙂 your videos are so Helpful for me 🙂 I love them 🙂 I noticed 4 or 5 out of the 10 & really hope & pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙂 Namaste Lisa 🙂

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