40 Signs That You Are Neurotic – Understanding Neurosis

40 Signs That You Are Neurotic – Understanding Neurosis

Hey, this is Leo, for Actualized.org. And in this episode,
I’m gonna give you a list of 40 signs that you are neurotic. And I’m gonna help you to develop
a really deep understanding and give you a definition,
a very rich definition of what neurosis is. ♪ (Intro music) ♪ My siste-in-law, she once asked me: “Leo, what do you mean by ‘neurosis’? You use that word a lot, ‘neurosis’,
but what does it really mean?” And that’s a good question! Got me thinking, actually.
Got me doing some ressearch. Cuz I do use that word a lot, and… is quiclky becoming one
of my favorite words in personal development work. Why? Because it goes straight to
the heart of most matters and most problems that
people have in life! Neurosis is the thing that
makes you miserable in life! It’s somewhat of a tecnical term, comes from old-school psychology
back in the Sigmund Freud Era, but there’s so many different angles
that you can look at neurosis from. You should be very concerned
about what neurosis is and you should be very interested
in studying this subject because this is a thing that is
making your life miserable. So, here I’m gonna give you a really
rich definition of neurosis. You’ll gonna get a really solid understanding by the end of this episode of what it is and how it works. But let just start off right with the list. The 40 signs that you are neurotic. Here we go: Anxiety. Obsessive thoughts. Compulsive behavior. Vague physical ailments such as: chronic fatigue syndrome,
insomnia, fibromyalgia. Or anything along those lines. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Anger or rage. Social maladjustment. For example, if you’re very, very shy; or maladjusted socially
in other ways. A history of dysfunctional relationships. Inability to work, for whatever reason. You know, whatever story
or excuse you have for why you can’t work
and go make a paycheck. That’s likely neurosis. Money problems. That’s it’s own category. For example, you’re wasting your money. Or you don’t have the ability to
manage your money properly. Or, maybe the opposite; maybe you’re
tight-fisted, very thrifty with your money. Like a ‘Scrooge’ tipe of person. Addictions of all kinds. There’s so many
addictions you can potentially have. Virtually all of them
are neurotically driven. Perfectionism. If you need everything done…
to the letter, exactly how you want it… that’s text-book neuroticism. Workaholism. Also an example of this. Stress. If you’re stressed all the time. Lying.
If you’re a chronic and habitual liar. That’s neurotically driven. Restlessness. If you can’t sit still,
if you’re always agitated. Overeating. Phobias of all kinds, and paranoia. Being easily offended, and very touchy,
sensitive and defensive. Do you find yourself being
offended by people all the time, or being offended by politicians, or being offended by religions,
or being offended by a violence or whatever else
that goes on in the world. Constant criticism and
blaming of other people. Constant criticism and blaming
specially of your family, your spouse or your children. This is text-book neuroticism. Preaching and moralizing. How much of that do you do? Do you tell other people
how to live their lives, specially maybe your children
or your spouse? That’s text-book neuroticism. Also, arguing and stubbornness. Do you find yourself in heated debates
with people all the time, either at the dinner table,
or at work with co-workers; or in some discussion
forum on the internet or some comment section
under a youtube video? Well, that’s all neurotically driven. Narcissism. Neediness and codependency
in relationships. Like, needing love. Needing… compliments. Needing approval. And validation,
needing people to like you. Jealously and envy. Are you constantly worried that your
partner or spouse is gonna cheat on you? Or your envies of what
your neighbor has, what kind of car he got
or how much money he earns? Or maybe your co-workers? Guilt and shame. Oh, man, this is a huge one! This is one of biggest signs if neurosis,
is when you’re guilting yourself all the time! How about keeping secrets? Do you have some big secrets?
That you can’t disclose to anybody? Like, you got some
skeletons in your closet? Well, that’s classic neurosis. Also, manipulation. Do you like to scheme
and manipulate people? Specially those close to you,
like your girlfriend or your boyfriend? Or, a co-worker or a boss? Or, a family member? Having enemies. Do you have some enemies,
some people you really hate? Some people you just despise,
that just make you see with hatred? Ah… That’s neurosis. (chuckles)
That’s not normal! Playing victim. Do you feel like a victim in life; like you just can’t do it;
you can’t lose the weight; you can’t quit your drinking problem; you can’t… get a raise; you can’t improve your situation;
you can’t move to a new city, because you have all these reasons
and excuses for why you can’t. That’s neurosis. A stiff, rigid body. Do you find your muscles
and your body always stiff, to the point where you have muscle aches and pains,
and maybe back pain? That kind of stuff? Are you finding yourself inflexible, like you can’t bend down
and touch your toes? It’s often caused by neurosis! Sexual dysfunctions of all kinds
are caused by neurosis! Also, sexual repression. Are you sexually repressed? Are you uncomfortable with
seeing yourself naked? Are you uncomfortable with
other people seeing you naked? Are you uncomfortable with
your sexuality? All of that and more,
is all neurosis. Are you vindictive? Do like to get back at people,
do like to plot against people when they’ve done you wrong? That’s neurotic. Also, nihilism. Are you a nihilistic person? Like, do you believe that life
is pointless and meaningless and everything is just… is pointless
because we’re all gonna die anyways? That’s neurotic. Alcohol and drug addictions,
of course, neurotic. Gossiping. Is neurotic. Having no sense of humor;
this is a good one, I like this one. Most people don’t think about this.
But, you know; those people who are very anal,
that take everything too seriously, that take themselves too seriously,
take life too seriously – these are classic neurotic people! And lastly, are you obsessed
with your physical appearance? Are you checking yourself out
on the mirror all the time, are you worried about
how you don’t have hair, or you don’t have the kind of
nose you want, or the face you want, or you don’t have the right
weight level, or whatever; you’re always worried about how you look? That’s neurotic. Any of those sound familiar? Ringed some bells? Well, they should. ‘Cause you are neurotic!
I guarantee you that you are. So that was the list. Now what I wanna do, is I wanna start moving
into talking about what neurosis is; what’s causing all this?
What’s at the center of all this? And I started doing
some research. And I read across some
work by Alexander Lowen. Who’s a really brilliant
psychologist, and he’s a doctor. And he has done a lot of work
in the field of psychotherapy. And he has some really interesting
theories, some really deep… I was shocked by his…
in-depth discussions; very insightful discussions, very eye-opening discussions of what neurosis is. So what I wanna do,
is I wanna read you actually a couple of… Really juicy excerpts
from some of his books. So, here we go, quote:
He says, “The neurotic individual is
in conflict with himself. Part of his being is trying
to overcome another part. His ego is trying to master his body. His rational mind, to control
his feelings. His will, to overcome his
fears and anxieties. Though this conflict is largely
unconscious, it’s effect deplete the person’s energy
and destroy his peace of mind. Neurosis is internal conflict. The neurotic character takes many forms,
but all of them involve a struggle in the individual,
between what he is and what he believes
he should be. Every neurotic individual
is caught in this struggle.” End quote. Sound familiar? Good. Let’s keep going. I have another excerpt from him
which is really juicy. He says, quote: “Unable to face his pain
and the anger to which it gives rise, the neurotic individual strives to overcome his fears, anxieties, hostilities and anger. One part of him seeks to rise
above another. Which splits the unity of his being
and destroys his integrity. The neurotic person struggles
to win over himself. In this, of course, he must fail! Failure seems to mean submission
to an unacceptable fate, but actually, it amounts to self acceptance;
which makes change possible. To the degree that most people in western culture are struggling to be different, they are neurotic. And, since this is a fight one can’t win, all who engage in the struggle will fail. Strangely, though,
through acceptance of this failure we become free of our neurosis.” End quote. Sound familiar? Good. Let me give you one final snippet,
which is really juicy. Listen to this, I love this. Quote: “Neurosis is not usually
defined as fear of life, but that is what it is. The neurotic person is afraid
to open it’s heart to love. Afraid to reach out, or strike out.
Afraid to be fully himself. More life or feeling than one is accustomed to
is frightening to the person, because it threatens to overwhelm his ego, to flood his boundaries and to undermine his identity.” End quote. Oh, man, that last sentence
is so important! “Threatens to undermine your ego, to flood your boundaries and
to undermine your identity.” That’s what living a full life entails. And that’s the thing that
you’re always trying to resist! ‘Cause that’s kind of the ego’s job. So that was Alexander Lowen; now what I wanna do is
I wanna take this… understanding of neurosis
that we’re developing and just kinda go deeper with it. And give you a even richer definition
by citing some other sources and then just giving you some
of my perspective on this. We’re gonna take a look at neurosis
from multiple perspectives; so that you can kinda see the intersection
of all these different perspectives. It’s quite powerful. Wikipedia has a really nice quote
that I liked; and it said this,
it define neurosis as follows: “A distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself; which is determined
by compulsive needs, rather than a genuine interest
in the world as it is.” An interest in the world as it is,
not as you need it to be. Really important. How many times do I tell people that “You gotta be detached
in an intimate relationship”. And then, when someone hears about that,
of course, what they retort with, the objection they have,
is they say: “But Leo, if I don’t need to be in a relationship, why would I even be in
a relationship at all?” And that, right there,
is just the epidemy of neurosis! Right, because the assumption there,
is that if you don’t need something, then you can’t have it in your life.
Or shouldn’t be in you life, or you wouldn’t want it
in your life. It’s like your whole life is run by needs!
And not by wants. Which is really twisted! It’s like you’ve been
so neurotic for so long that you don’t even know
any other way of being. Kinda screwed up,
don’t you think? And that doesn’t just applies
to intimate relationships, it applies to all sorts of things
in your life. Another definition of neurosis
I really like is from Brad Blanton. He’s a psychologist and
therapist; and he defines it this way. Quote: “It is essentially a refusal to accept
what is happening in the present. A neurotic is a person who
incessantly demands that life be other
than what it is.” End quote. That’s a really good one. Fundamentally, is just
a denial of reality! Is what neurosis is. It’s an excessive demand
that things SHOULD be different than what
they actually are. “Reality SHOULD be this way,
or it SHOULD be that way; or she sould do this,
or he should do that; or I should earn more money,
or I shouldn’t be sick; or my kids should be smarter,
or they should get good grades; Or… something else in my life
should be this way; or my shoes shouldn’t be dirty, or the dog
shouldn’t be making a mess in the house.” Right, all of these “shoulds”. Everything “should” be this way; you know, taxis ‘should’ be low, and government ‘should’
give me all these benefits.” “And my boss should respect me,
and people should like me, and I should be financially secure, and my retirement should
be guaranteed. And my health care
should be provided for.” “And my children shouldn’t be endangered.” And on, and on, and on,
this list goes. This list applies not only to reality,
but also to yourself! And in fact, this is the biggest crime
you commit, right here. Is not just a denial of reality,
but a denial of yourself! Self-denial. Denying who you actually are! And trying to be something else
than what you are. This is called… Self-acceptance, right?
It’s a lack of self-acceptance. The neurotic person
does not accept himself. This is completely unacceptable. (chuckles)
It’s unacceptable to accept stuff! This means disowning
parts of himself. Vilifying parts of himself, like,
parts of him are “evil”. Like, “lying is evil”,
and “cheating is evil”, “and being mean to people is evil”,
and this, and this, and that. Notice, that for the neurotic, not only are there certain positive ideals
that should be in place; but there’s also a strong resistence and
vilification of the negative ideals. It is a problem when
you have negative ideals, in the sense when you tell
yourself that “lying is evil”, and you know, “murder is evil,
is the most horrific thing; Leo how could you even… How could you even c…consider
the idea that murder is not evil?” Is this kind of atitude, is this kind of
rigidity that this person takes on. ‘Cause see, this rigidity that you have
is a way of being. It applies in very subtle levels. On how treat yourself, how you think of yourself,
and how you treat other human beings; and how you treat situations! You might get into a grocery store, and there’s a long line at the grocery store,
and you tell yourself: “This is stupid. How are this
20 people in this line, why don’t they have more of the lines open”, and so you get into this kinda of
filming rage about how “the line should not be this long”
and yara yara yara yara. You have all sorts of laws and rules
that you’ve created. And now you act like the rule keeper! Making sure that everyone obeys
by these rules! And of course, you tell yourself: “But Leo, no no no, you don’t understand,
this is necessary! I need to tell my kids that they
need to clean their room. They have to clean their room! And they can’t lie!
Leo, they can’t be liars! And my daughter,
she can’t be a whore! You want my daughter to be a slut? Leo, what do you…
Are you crazy?! These things are like, rigid rules!
These have been set by God! These have been set by society,
these have been set by parents!” All these demands! What happened was, that when
you were growing up, you picked up all these demands, and all these rules, and all these laws;
largely unconsciously without you being even aware of it; -You didn’t even know you had an option!
You just absorbed all these like a sponge. Because you didn’t know any better. And now you try to live by them. And specially if you’ve been religiouly
raised or educated, you have a really big problem with this,
’cause you’ve been moralized to your whole life! By the church and by the parents! (sniffle) But see, the thing they didn’t tell you
is that this takes away your freedom! And that this makes you neurotic. Highly, highly neurotic and actualy
highly imoral and highly irreligious! This is the exact opposite of what religion
was meant to make you! But, you know… In our society that way that
religion is twisted in on itself; it produces the exact opposite effects of what
was intended in it’s original meaning! You know, I don’t know about Jesus,
I don’t know who he was, when he was, what he was,
or if he even existed; but I can guarantee you this:
if he was enlightened, which… all evidence suggests; then he was anti-neurotic! He didn’t have any rules by which he
lived his life, do you understand this? This is really hard for religious
people to understand! Enlightened people
are completely free, they have no rule by which they
live their life! Now, see, the moral person, he says: “But Leo, if he didn’t have any rules how couldn’t
he just go out and kill babies?” (chuckles) As if that’s what you need
to not kill babies, is you need rules handed down
to you by the church! See, that’s the lowest level
of morality that exists! That kind of morality! The highest levels of morality,
have no rules, no principles, no laws, no commandments
and no one is gonna punish you! They are all intrinsic,
they come from the inside, from understanding what reality is!
From being conscious, from being aware. See, a conscious,
a highly conscious individual, does not need a bunch of rules! They know how to behave, they don’t need
to discipline themselves really harshly! They know how to behave simply
through suficcient awareness! Now, the people who are lazy and don’t build up suficcient awareness, and that have low consciousness, what they need is they need a bunch of rules! But, see, these rules are so rigid that
they inevitably backfire on you. And, one bitter pill
you’ll gonna have to swallow, if you’ve been living this kind of
very rigid life-style, is that man… if you want to advance forward and you wanna really
develop yoursef to high levels, and you really wanna develop
your morality, and your ethics, and you wanna become a really
good decent human being; then you need to start
abandoning all those rules! Which leads me to the next point, a neurotic
– one way to look at a neurotic – is someone who clings
to beliefs and to identity. Fundamentally, why is a neurotic neurotic? Because he is clinged to beliefs, and
he finds safety and security there. And he is really afraid to abandon those, and to live life freely; because he thinks “Leo, if I just abandon everything, if I have no principles
or anchors to guide me, then I’m just going to be a devil! How am I going to live?
This freedom is gonna destroy me!”. That’s the neurotic’s fear! And so, instead, what he does, he becomes an ideological fundamentalist. And he has a certain dogma
that he advocates and that he preaches to everybody else, he needs everybody to believe
in his dogma, to not question his own dogma too much. Because, it’s important! It’s the truth! This is how it is!
There are no alternatives! Why does he tell himself that and others?
He tells others that as well. He has to. Because… This is the only thing that anchors him, if he loses that, then he is completely lost! ‘Cause he hasn’t developed the ablility to actualy utilize freedom responsibly and consciously. A neurotic is also very often
lost in monkey mind. Arguing, in his own mind, with what is and how things ought to be.
Other than what they actually are! Do you have that? Think about it. How much time during the day do you devote to having internal dialogues and arguments about “How the children shouldn’t be this way, and the husband shouldn’t be that way, and my boss shouldn’t be this way; and the school officials, the professor, he shouldn’t have done this”, And then, also you apply
it to yourserf too, it’s like “I shouldn’t have gone partying
and drinking on friday night. That was so stupid of me.
And I shouldn’t have… You know, I shouldn’t have… Not prepared for that test, you know, I should have prepared for that test; I wasn’t responsible. And I shouldn’t
have eaten that dinner, yesterday, that was a terrible, unhealthy dinner.
Now I feel so bad about eating that”. This kind of arguments. This is the epidemy of neurosis,
when you’re having these in your mind. And think about just how many of
those you have. On a regular basis. That, right there, is just sapping all
of the happiness and joy out of your life. And if continues long enough
over years and decades, it either turns you into a perpetual victim,
who can’t get anything done in life; or somebody who’s just very angry
and bitter at the whole world. Or someone who’s so depressed
that they wanna shoot themselves. Another way to look at neurosis
is emotional avoidance. Again, fundamentally what you’re doing and the reason you’re
becoming neurotic is because you’re avoiding emotions! Why would you avoid emotions? Well, because emotions are hard to predict! You can’t codify rules of emotions,
emotions just come! There’s a loss of control with emotions! Both the good emotions,
and the bad emotions. So, a neurotic person becomes this
anal-retentive, puritanical person, like the puritan. Can’t have fun, has to stick up his ass. Doesn’t feel very high,
doesn’t feel very low. Tries to avoid all emotions. His heart is encased in a
three-foot block of concrete! And so he doesn’t really love, he doesn’t really feel fear or sadness,
or any of these things -he tries to protect himself
from all of that. And this is fundamentally,
as Alexander Lowen said quote, “a fear of life”.
You fear really living! Life is an emotional game! Is not a logical game. It’s not an idelogical game. It’s not a rational game. It’s an irrational, emotional game! And boy, a lot of you
rationalists out there who fancy yourselves very logical
and scientific-minded, this is your greatest weakness right here. Is that in your logic and your
rationality you avoid emotions! And you put logic above emotions,
when in fact logic is way down the list. What really runs your life are emotions! But for the neurotic person, what he tries to do is he tries to control emotions with logic. In the same way that you take
a horse and you strap it into… into all it’s gears and rigging, and just trap it into a carriage and now you think
you’ve got the horse under control! Except of course, this horse never gets tamed.
This is a wild horse! And so it drives you crazy your whole life,
you try to control this horse, and it never goes where you want it to go, ’cause this is a wild horse that
you’ve tried to just enslave. And it doesn’t work.
And it drives you crazy. Drives the horse crazy. But see, this is all going on inside you,
so you’re internally conflicted – you’re always in battle with yourself! Except what’s really bad is that you probably don’t even recognize that this is happening! This is an unconscious conflict. That’s what’s going on here.
Largely unconscious conflict, and you don’t know why you hate life,
why you’re miserable, why you’re frustrated, why you keep failing
to get into good relationships, or why you keep failing in business, or why you keep failing to lose weight; and all this kind of stuff.
Why you fail to find the right man, or to find the right woman for you. Well, because you have this very deep structural unconscious conflicts. And because you’re so rigid
with your belief system, there’s no possibility for there
to be an opening. For light to shine in there. And it just festers and gets worse
and worse and worse. Quite tragic. Quite tragic. That’s why raising your awareness is one of the most important things you can do if you want to self-actualize and
grow as a human being. There are no highly developed
human beings who have low awareness. It’s not possible. Another way to think about
neurosis is self-sabotage. Are you frustrated with your
self-sabotaging behavior? Maybe you’re an artist,
and you self-sabotage your work. Or maybe you get into relationships or marriages and you sabotage those. And it’s consistent, like,
there’s a pattern of it. And what’s really scary, is that you can
see the pattern happening! It even becomes conscious! You see the self-sabotage happening. Maybe with food, you keep getting on diets but then you keep you keep self-sabotaging. You keep seeing this! And you can’t stop it!
You don’t know how to stop it. Because you’re looking
at the surface of things, you’re not going down to
the very roots of your neurosis. And so, you might start one business
and fail, and go into bankruptcy; then you start the next business,
the next business, the next business… and you think like: “What don’t I understand about business?” But see, it’s probably not
a business problem. It’s a problem that’s much deeper
in your psyche! It’s a much more fundamental problem! Probably you’re not accepting reality,
you’re not accepting yourself… And so on and so forth. And you get caught in this kind of
vicious cycles of flailing around; you flail around in your relationshiop,
and then you flail around some more; in another one, and in another one,
and you just kinda flail around, you think something is gonna happen,
something is gonna improve; but the more action you take
the more you self-sabotage! So, action isn’t the solution for you! You need to shine awareness
into the problem, rather then just blindly take action! And this is where a lot of
neurotic people go wrong. And here’s another perspective at which
to look at and define neurosis: Neurosis can be seen as forced action. The neurotic person thinks he can use his will to bruteforce his way into the solution! Without understanding
the deeper issues involved. He thinks that he can just use harsh self-discipline to acomplish the job. And to live life. So, anytime that you’re not getting the
results you want, as a neurotic, what you do is you say:
“Okay, I’m buckling down even more. I’m gonna apply even more willpower this time.
This time I really mean it, and if I don’t carry it through, I’m gonna…
I’m really gonna stick it to myself”. And so you develop this kind of self-flagellating,
very harsh self-displine. And this creates… A rift inside of you. You break integrity with
yourself, because you develop this pattern of not being
able to actually trust yourself! When you create a goal, or you have a vision for something
you wanna accomplish in your life, you know you’ve got a history where you do not accomplish goals unless
you beat yourself to death. With fear, with guilt. And so, you try to use this negative motivation to get to high places in life, and it does’t work. It can work to some degree,
but it only gets you so far. It doesn’t get you to the
really good stuff on life. You can’t really self-actualize
using that kind of approach! So action isn’t always the solution. Sometimes requires turning inward. That’s why you self-sabotage, that’s why
you can’t change your patterns; is because you’re trying to turn outward
for outward solutions all the time, well you know what?
The deepest solutions are inside you. And you don’t know how to turn inside,
“Leo, how do I turn inside? What does that really mean?” Well that’s why you’re neurotic!
That’s why you’re fucked up. ‘Cause you don’t know how. And that requires… some real deep study. That’s not something I can just explain
to you in five minutes! I have shot over a hundred hours of video
on this topics. And I still feel like I’ve just started
scratching the surface! This requires a real commitment
to wanting to understand yourself. To find your authentic self. To love yourself. See, the fundamental problem
with this harsh self-discipline approach, is that you’re really… You’re not accepting yourself, you’re not loving yourself, you’re not being kind
or compassionate to yourself. And then, of course, you can’t be kind
or compassionate or loving to other people if you can’t be that way towards yourself. So it’s another perspective
for you right there. And finally, to kinda
sum up this definition.. Two really easy ways to think
about neurosis. When I say neurosis,
and I call someone neurotic, usually I just mean it as dysfunctional. Neurotic and dysfunctional,
I use quite synonymously, although there are some differences. But that’s a good nutshell way to put it. And then, perhaps, my favorite nutshell
for what neurosis is, is ass-backwards. Is living life ass-backwards,
that’s what you’re doing. Rather than turning inward,
you turn outward. Rather than accepting, you’re rejecting. Rather than surrendering,
you’re always fighting. See, the most unacceptable thing
to the neurotic, is to actually surrender. To surrender to truth, to surrender to reality,
to surrender to what is. He can’t accept that. That’s unacceptable to him. It needs to be otherwise. And there’s always, of course, good stories for why it needs to be otherwise and why “Leo I can’t believe you”, and “Leo I can’t do what you’re saying because if I did then ‘XYZ’ would happen in my life”. There’s a lot of really good stories
and lies in your mind about why this is. But those are the things that need to be
really inspected with your awareness. To get clarity and truth around it. So does all this sound familiar? Ringing some bells? I hope so. ‘Cause you are neurotic.
You are neurotic. You might wonder at this point:
“Well, what’s the opposite of neurosis? What’s the alternative? Is everything
neurotic? Is everyone neurotic? No! Not everyone. A lot of people are, but not everyone
and it’s not the only way to live life! There are alternatives. What’s the opposite of neurosis?
I’m glad you asked. It’s peace of mind. That’s it. Peace of mind. And what is peace of mind? Peace of mind
is being happy with exactly what is! Not what you want,
not what you think should be, but what is. Now, this might sound kinda funny, even contradictory, coming from me; ’cause you’re probably thinking like:
“Leo, what do you mean ‘what is’? What happened to self-actualization and,
growing yourself and becoming this ideal
person and all this?” You wanna be careful about that. Gotta be careful about that, and I’ve
been guilty of that myself. Is approachig self-actualization
with a neurotic frame of mind. Like, there’s some ideal you gotta get to. This is one of the paradoxes
of personal development, is that at the same time you have to accept
yourself exactly as you are, and reality exactly as it is, and then… also you gotta be commited to growing and improving and getting more authentic. But not in a neurotic way. It can be difficult to swallow that.
Hard to reconcile that. Takes a while, takes a lot of study
to start to get your mind around that little brain twister
right there. But, let’s get back to peace of mind,
I don’t wanna get too far of track here. (sigh) What you really crave, secretly crave
from life is you crave peace of mind. If only your mind could be still and just
give you some peace. You could just (sigh) Ahh! Just relax
and enjoy your life, a little bit. For a few seconds.
That’s what you really want. Except, see, your neurotic mind
is going about it all backwards. Bacause to actually get peace of mind
you’ll have to do a 180. Your strategy has to change completely! This is a very counter-intuitive thing! The reason people don’t have
peace of mind, and happiness, is because is extremely counter-intuitive! Is not what you would typically think
you would need to do to get it. Most people turn outward.
And that doesn’t work. So how do you get it? The most direct way is enlightenment. Check out my enlightenment videos,
spiritual enlightenment. I got some great videos on that topic.
It’s an advanced topic, but… is the most direct way to get there. And the second most direct way
is self-actualization work. What is self-actualization work? Everything on this website,
everything on my YouTube channel. Over a hundred hours of content, on how to do self-actualization. All of this stuff, in my videos,
if you follow it; generally speaking, it will make you less and less neurotic,
over time. It will make you more accepting of reality
and yourself, as you are. In an ironic way; ’cause you know,
in a lot of videos I tell you to “Change and be this way,
and don’t be that way”, it seems kinda like I’m telling
you to not accept yourself. Because usually I’m stressing
this component of taking action. You know, but there’s also a component
of self-acceptance, so that’s kinda what I’m stressing now. And this is gonna be weird for you, you’ll not gonna want to accept
both this things at the same time. You have to, though.
If you want to really grow. Make no mistake that, if you’re
not enlightened, then you are neurotic. There’s no way you can not
be enlightened… and… not be neurotic. Because without enlightenment,
you fundamentally misunderstand what reality is. And so, quite simply, you can’t align
yourself with reality when you don’t understand what reality is. You also can’t align yourself
with your authentic self! When you don’t understand
who you authentically are. Really. Like, absolutely. Existentially. This issue goes very deep. And I don’t
have enough time to cover all the existencial issues here, right now. So… Go check out some of my other
videos for more depth on this. So… Yeah, you are neurotic, there only question is to what degree are you neurotic? Some of you are neurotic
to extraordinary degrees, to the point where no one can even
be in a relationship with you. Or to the point where you can’t even take care of yourself, you can’t even feed yourself. Can’t even wake up in the morning.
Get out of bed on time. Some of you are like that, some of you are generally
successful and pretty good, and maybe you even earn
six figures and so forth; but you’re still quite goddamn neurotic! Which is why you’re not fulfilled with
your six figures, and seven figures, and whatever… how many figures you make,
and how many houses you have, and you know; how many girlfriends you have and all this… It doesn’t really make a difference. Because you still got those neurosis in there
that you gotta go take care of. So what do we do about all this?
What’s the action step? Well… Hold up there with the action. This is more about consciousness,
this is more about awareness. So what I propose here is that you make some commitment, right now. Say the following words
that I’m gonna say. Do it with me. I want you to commit
to some of the stuff you heard about here. If you feel like you’re tired of being neurotic
and you wanna change this, then here’s a good way to do it. Make the following commitments
which I wanna help you to make. I’m gonna say them first,
then you repeat after me. There’s gonna be about 5 or 7 lines
that I want you to repeat. This is gonna be good for your mind.
Drill it right in there. Alright? So, first thing
I want you to say is the following: “I am neurotic.” Repeat after me, go! “I am neurotic.” Good. Say it like you mean,
like you’ve really realized; like you learned something
about yourself here. Hope you have. Now, the next one. I’m gonna say it,
then you’ll gonna say it. “I commit to discovering the roots of my neurosis.” Go! Good! Now the next one. “I commit to aligning with empirical
reality.” Go. Good. Now the next one. “I commit to dropping
all socially acquired beliefs.” Go. Good. Now the next one. “I commit to be more open
to all emotions.” Go. Good. Now the next one. “I commit to loving myself and my life.” Go! Good. Now the next one. “I commit to dropping my
‘should’ statements.” My ‘shoulds’. All those things you tell
yourself you should stop doing. Or you have to keep doing. Ready? Go. Good. The next one. “I commit to GRADUAL self-improvement.” “Gradual” is the key word. Ready? Go! And lastly, say this with me: “I commit to not being neurotic
about my self-improvement.” Ready? Go. Alright. Awesome! Good job. I hope you did that. If you haven’t, go back and do it.
Rewind it and do it. And now, I’m gonna give you
your final assignment. Pull out o piece of paper, take out a pen; and I want you to right now,
after this episode is over, to sit down quietly, and to think about
and write down your top 5 neurosis. What are your top 5 neurotic behaviors? Make a list, 1 through 5, and once you’ve got that list,
then what you do is you ask yourself: “What’s the rock bottom root cause
that’s motivating this behavior?” “What’s the rock bottom root cause
that’s motivating this behavior?” Don’t be satisfied
with a surface-level explanation. It’s not just because
you want someone to marry. Or you want more money
in your bank account. That’s not a good enough reason.
Go deeper. What about you do you have to believe? What about reality do you have to believe that’s motivating you
to be neurotic here? Dig deep. Alright? Get awareness over these things.
Get to very root of your neurosis. Alright. I’m signing off. Please, click the “like” button. If you’d like to support Actualized.org, help by submitting your feedback
and clicking those buttons. Also, post your comments down below. Share this video with a friend. And then, finally, come check out
Actualized.org, the website. I got a lot of cool content on there,
some exclusive content. I’ve got a cool course on there,
I got a book list on there. I’m releasing new videos
every single week. I have a newsletter there, for free.
Which updates you every single week with all
the stuff that I release. Stay on board. Sign up. I hope you can see that, you know,
this commitment you just made to gradual self-improvement,
this takes time. And the biggest problem you’ll gonna have
is you’ll gonna fall off track. So the biggest… (sigh)
value that I can provide to you with Actualized.org, not only just giving some of this really deep information which you do need,
and I’ll be giving you more of that; but also just keeping you motivated,
keeping you inspired, keeping you on track.
So you don’t forget about this. ‘Cause if you stay on track
for just a couple of years, I know you’ll gonna start
to see amazing results. I get feedback from… From clients, and from just random strangers online; and even random strangers that meet me
on the streets and in restaurants. I get feedback from how
their lives are changing by following some of
this stuff that I say. So it does work. Stick around. It’s not magic. But it really, really can change your life over the course of several years. So… this is the most important thing,
I think, you can be doing with your life. So, anyways… Sign up, stay tuned
and I’ll see you soon.


  1. According to this list, everybody I’ve ever known is neurotic. How many of these do you have to have to qualify?

    Telling your children how to live their lives is called parenting…unless they are adults.

  2. i dont think people choose to get themselves into the problems they get into and i dont think it makes much sense to tell someone who beats themself down everytime they want to achieve something to say theyre fucked up and then tell them to love themselves

  3. The only single thing I like about neurosis is how the pain during working out doesn't bother me, since the mental pain of daily life makes me just laugh off the physical pain.

    Everything else really sucks.

  4. This kind of content is dangerous to distribute to weak-minded individuals… A lot of these traits are within human-beings and most people I have ever met. I might of missed it within this video however these things are more of a spectrum. What I appreciated the most though with this video that resonates with myself personally is to stop saying "I need to do this" and "brute-force my way through things" rather than accepting life how it is. What I dislike about a lot of this though is most people experience these traits and honestly some of these traits are just an effect of life. If you didn't have some of these traits you'd blindly go into dangerous situations…I do not see what is so bad about having a moral foundation, values, and some sort of logical way to navigate through some of life in order to position yourself into whatever ones goals may be. It is certainly a complicated subject, but I guess my take-away is some neuroticism is completely natural and humans seem to have these traits with various intensities. Each trait you described may be inhibiting a specific individual in a much different way than someone else exhibiting the same behavior. I do believe environment has a lot to do with this as well. You'd have less of a likelihood of being paranoid, anxious born into a rich family with financial security as compared to someone born into a dysfunctional family in poverty. Being neurotic is not a bad thing, which this video seems to ultimately make it out to be. Some of these traits for specific life situations may be better to have than be blind to them…It's like someone being in a negative friend group with drug use and illicit activity, they grow up and start feeling a sense of anxiety, paranoia, lack of trust–well shouldn't they? If they want some sort of change maybe these feelings are necessary triggers to that individual to change their life course? I only know surface-level of this topic but it seems way to complex potentially dangerous for a perfectly normal teenager/young adult just simply going through the trial and error of life.

  5. Summary Part One: 40 Signs That You Are Neurotic – Understanding Neurosis

    • Neurosis is the thing that makes you miserable in life
    • There are many different angles you can look at it:

    1. Anxiety
    2. Obsessive thoughts
    3. Compulsive behavior
    4. Vague physical ailments (Fatigue syndrom, Insomnia)
    5. Depression
    6. Suicidal Thoughts
    7. Social Maladjustment (Shy etc)
    8. Dysfunctional relationships
    9. Inability to work (excuses for why you can't make a paycheck)
    10. Money problems (wasting it, can't manage it, or tight-fisted with it)
    11. Addictions (All of them are neurotically driven)
    12. Perfectionism
    13. Workaholism
    14. Stress
    15. Lying
    16. Restlessness (can't sit still always agitated)
    17. Overeating
    18. Phobias and paranoia
    19. Easily offended and sensitive and defensive
    20. Constant criticism and blaming especially of family, spouse and children
    21. Constant moralism
    22. Arguing and stubbornness
    23. Narcissism
    24. Needing love and codependence
    25. Jealousy and envy (fearing partner is gonna cheat on you, worried about what your neighbor has and earns)
    26. Guilt and shame (guilting yourself all the time)
    27. Keeping secrets
    28. Manipulation (manipulating your partner, co-worker or boss, or family member)
    29. Having enemies (people you despise)
    30. Playing the victim (can't lose weight, quit drinking, get a raise, can't move to a new city)
    31. Stiff and rigid body (often caused by neurosis)
    32. Sexual dysfunction
    33. Sexual repression (uncomfortable seeing yourself naked and others seeing you naked)
    34. Vindictive (get back at people, when they have done you wrong)
    35. Nihilism (we're all gonna die anyway)
    36. Drug & Alcoholism
    37. Gossiping
    38. Having no sense of humor (taking yourself to seriously)
    39. Obsessed about your physical appearance (checking yourself out in the mirror all the time)
    40. Clinging to beliefs and identity. I can't abandon those and can't live life freely. Thinks that with no rules he'll become a devil. And preaches his dogma to everyone. Because if he loses that then he's completely lost. Hasn't developed the ability to actually utilize freedom responsibly and consciously.
    41. Very often lost in monkey mind. Arguing with what is and how things ought to be, other than they actually are.

    What is neurosis? What is at the center of all of this?

    Alexander Lowen's Book excerpts:

    "The neurotic individual is in conflict with himself. Part of his being is trying to overcome another part. His ego is trying to master his body. His rational mind to control his feelings. His will to overcome his fears and anxieties. Though this conflict is largely unconscious, it's effect is to deplete the persons energy and destroy his peace of mind.
    Neurosis is an internal conflict. The neurotic character takes many forms, but all of them involve a struggle in the individual between what he is and what he believes what he should be. Every neurotic individual is caught in this struggle."

    "Unable to face his pain and the anger to which it gives rise to, the neurotic individual strives to overcome his fears, anxieties, hostilities, and anger. One part of him seeks to rise above another, which splits the unity of his being and destroys his integrity. The neurotic person struggles to win over himself. In this, of course, he must fail. Failure seems to mean submission to an unacceptable fate, but actually, it amounts to self-acceptance, which makes change possible. To the degree that most people in western culture are struggling to be different, they are neurotic. And since this is a fight that one can't win, all who engage in this struggle, will fail. Strangely though, through acceptance of this failure, we become free of our neurosis."

    "Neurosis is not usually defined as a fear of life. But that is what it is. The neurotic person is afraid to open his heart to love, afraid to reach out or strikeout. Afraid to be fully himself. More life or feeling, than one is accustomed to, is frightening to the person because it threatens to overwhelm his ego, to flood his boundaries and to undermine his identity."

    That's what living a full life entails. And that's the thing you're always trying to resist.
    –> The ego's fundamental job.

    Ways to look at Neurosis:

  6. Summary Part Two:

    Ways to look at Neurosis

    Way 1:

    "A distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself, which is determined by compulsive needs rather than a genuine interest in the world as it is, not as you need it to be." -Wikipedia
    • Needing something in your life VS being detached from needing it.

    Way 2:

    "It is essentially a refusal to accept what is happening in the present. A neurotic is a person who essentially demands that life be other than what it is." -Brad Blanton

    • Denial of reality. A lot of should statements. But they actually backfire on you.

    • The biggest crime here is the denial of yourself. Trying to be something other than what you actually are.

    • Lack of self-acceptance. Disowning parts of himself. This and that is evil.

    • It is a way of being. It applies to how you treat yourself, other humans, and think of yourself.

    • Picked rules up unconsciously while growing up. Now you can't even imagine any other way of life. (Especially when you were brought up in a religious household, you've been moralized to from a very young age. By family and church)

    • A highly conscious person doesn't need a bunch of rigid rules, he lives life by sufficient awareness.

    • Epidemy of neurosis = Arguing in your own mind. I.e. "Shoulding" about what you ate last night

    -> It's sapping all the happiness out of your life!

    If it continues long enough:

    – Turns you into a perpetual victim who can't get anything done in life
    – Someone who's very angry and bitter about the world and maybe even wants to shoot himself

    Way 3:

    Emotional avoidance:

    – The reason you become a neurotic is to avoid emotions

    – Neurotic becomes this anal person: Can't have fun, not very high or low, tries to avoid all emotions.
    = The fear of life. Life is an emotional game. It's not a logical game, not an ideological game, not a rational,

    – But it's an ”irrational emotional game”
    – Rationalists fancying themselves very logical and scientific minded

    = Their greatest weakness
    -> In their logic and rationality, they avoid emotions.

    Put logic above emotions.
    BUT! What really runs your life are emotions.

    Horse Analogy:
    'Taking a horse and strapping it into all its gears. Thinking you have got the horse under control.
    Except… this horse never gets tame. It's a wild horse. It never goes where you wanna go. Which drives you crazy.'

    All this is going on inside you. You're internally conflicted. You're always in battle with yourself.
    Even worse. This is a largely unconscious conflict.

    You keep failing at things,
    because you have deep structural unconscious conflicts.
    You're so rigid with your belief system, that there's no possibility for an opening to happen, for light to shine into your problems.

    Way 4:

    Self Sabotage

    • Self-sabotaging yourself (relationships, habits, etc)

    • Because you only looking on the surface of things. Even seeing the self-sabotage happening! But not knowing how to stop it!

    -> Much more fundamental problem. It's not accepting reality and yourself. (Vicious cycle of you trying to find the problem externally. "What do I not understand about […] that's preventing me from succeeding.")

    But action is not the solution to the problem!

    Instead! Shining awareness into the problem.

    Way 5:

    Neurosis can be seen as forced action.

    (Thinking you can use your will to brute force your way into the solution, use harsh self-discipline to accomplish the job)

    -> Each time you fail, you tell yourself: "Okay! This time! I'm going to use even more discipline on myself!"

    Harsh self-discipline creates a rift in yourself.

    – You break integrity with yourself because you developed this pattern of not being able to actually trust yourself

    – when you create a goal or have a vision, you know you have got a history where you don't accomplish goals unless you beat yourself to death with fear and guilt.

    = Using negative motivation to get to high places in life. It doesn't get you very far.

    Action isn't always the solution
    . Sometimes requires turning inwards.

    The deepest solutions are inside you.

    This requires a commitment to:

    • Wanting to understand yourself
    • To find your authentic yourself
    • To love yourself (The opposite of the harsh self-discipline approach) You can't be compassionate and loving to others because you can't be that way towards yourself

    In a nutshell:

    Neurotic and Dysfunctional are synonyms.

    You're living life backward.

    Rather than;
    Turning inwards you turn outwards.
    Accepting you're rejecting.
    Surrendering you're always fighting.

    You'll have to carefully inspect these things with your awareness.

    Opposite of Neurosis:

    • Peace of mind (being happy with exactly what is)

    • Be careful with approaching self actualization with a neurotic frame of mind (some ideal you gotta get to)
    -> Paradox of self-actualization.

    • Peace of mind is what you really crave in life! But your neurotic mind is going about it all backwards. Turning outward
    How do you get peace of mind?

    – Spiritual Enlightenment (If you're not enlightened = fundamentally misunderstanding what reality is and not aligned with your authentic self, because you haven't "understood"/ "found" yourself yet)

    – Self Actualization Work will make you less and less neurotic

    You are neurotic,
    the question here is to what degree are you neurotic

    I. No one can't be in a relationship with you. Can't take care of yourself, get out of bed on time, can't feed yourself.

    II. Some are generally successful. But still not fulfilled with your 6 figures etc. = Still very neurotic

    Commitments to make as a neurotic:

    1. I am neurotic

    2. I commit to discovering the roots of my neurosis

    3. I commit to aligning with empirical reality

    4. I commit to dropping all socially aquired beliefs

    5. I commit to being more open to all emotions

    6. I commit to loving myself and my life

    7. I commit to dropping my should statements

    8. I commit to gradual self-improvement

    9. I commit to not being neurotic about my self-improvement


    What are your Top 5 neurotic behaviors?

    What's the rock bottom root cause that's motivating this behavior? What about you and reality do you have to believe?

  7. Thank you [4/25] I'm going to re-watch this one day as I didn't get the chance to write it all down and do the writing exercise yet. Thank you Leo

  8. What I learned from this video: most people are neurotic and everyone else is kinda boring 😆..or narcissistic

  9. Omg… yes I'm giving pain to myself and my family intensively for years and years now. Plz give me light … I'm really screwed with these emotions. I'm obsessed and how to come out which doc what medication will help me. Save my family plz

  10. mind itself is full of neurosis. it's best to ditch mind. Here mind means ego identity part of mind. This is what Buddha said 2500 years ago and what meditation masters have been saying since then. Who you think you are is not who you are.

  11. day 2 of 5: I'm still with you. This video hit home – one I've been avoiding but now I understand how I used to be. EGO EGO EGO. video paused at 33:33.

  12. Thank you sir. This video was really helpful to me. 🙂 Gradual self improvement…..i'll remember that.

  13. “Well Leo how do I turn inside…!?” “Well that’s why you’re neurotic. That’s why you’re F’d up. Because you don’t know how” Haha that was funny

  14. 1
    . anxiety
    . obssessive thoughts
    . compulsive behavior
    . vague physical ailments such as chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, fibromyalgia
    . depression
    . suicidal thoughts
    . anger or rage
    . social maladjustment (for example if you are very shy)
    . history of dysfunctional relationships
    . inability to work
    . money problems (for example if you are wasting your money ou don't have the ability to manage your money or if you are thrifty with your money)
    . addictions of all kinds
    . perfectionism
    . workaholism
    . stress
    . lying
    . restlessness
    . overeating
    . phobias of all kinds and paranoia
    . being easily offended and very touchy, sensitive and defensive
    . constant criticism and blaming of other people and your family
    . preaching and moralizing
    23. arguing and stubborness
    24. narcisim
    . neediness and codependence in relationships
    26. jealousy and envy
    27. guilt and shame
    28. keeping secrets

    29. manipulation
    30. having enemies
    31. playing victim
    32. having a stiff and ridid body (for example, muscle aches and pains, back pain, inflexiblity, not being able to bend down and touch your toes)
    33. sexual dysfunctions of all kinds
    . sexual repression (being incortable with seeing yourself or other people naked)
    . being vindictive
    . niihilism (believing life is pointless and meaningless)
    . alcoholic and drug addictions
    . gossiping
    . having no sense of humor
    40. being obsessed with your physical appearance

  15. I'll be posting my homework in the reply section below, feel free to copy the format 🙂
    But first, here's the list of neurosis in case you need it as an aid for the homework:

    * Anxiety
    * Obsessive thoughts
    * Compulsive behaviour
    * A stiff rigid body
    * Vague physical ailments
    * Fatigue
    * Insomnia
    * Fibromyalgia
    * Depression
    * Suicidal thoughts
    * Anger or Rage
    * social maladjustments
    * inability to work (regardless of the excuse)
    * Money problems
    * Addictions
    * Hard addictions (drug and alcohol)
    * Perfectionism
    * Workaholism
    * Stress
    * Lying
    * Restlessness
    * Overeating
    * Phobias and paranoia
    * Easily offended, sensitive, defensive
    * Constant criticism and blaming of others
    * Arguing and Stubbornness
    * Narcissism
    * Neediness & Co-dependence
    * Jealousy and Envy
    * Guilting and shaming yourself
    * Keeping secrets
    * Manipulation
    * Playing Victim
    * Sexual dysfunctions
    * Having enemies
    * Vindictive
    * Nihilism
    * Gossiping
    * Having no sense of humour
    * Obsessed with physical appearance.

    Personally, the ones that stood out the most to me were:

    Anxiety, Fatigue, Social maladjustments, Stress, Overeating, Constant criticism of others, Jealousy and Envy, Keeping secrets, Gossiping, and Having no sense of humour.

    Filtering those down to five, I'm going to focus on: Stress, Keeping secrets, Having no sense of humour, Social maladjustments, and Anxiety.

  16. Leo's explanation of neurosis is at odds with most others I've been exposed to. I thought neurotic people were just anxious, depressive people with low self worth and low resilience. 🤔 He's made it sound more externally toxic, like the neurotic person is likely hurting others as much as themselves through lying, anger, criticism, and inflexibility. After a little research, I'm seeing his understanding of neurosis is more in line with Karen Horney's, Neurosis and Human Growth. I'm concerned this video could lead some neurotic people to hate themselves even more, as they may not be forcing their "dogma" on others nor lying to others and so forth, but this video may lead them to obsessive thoughts about if in fact their toxic thought patterns are hurting others instead of just themselves.

  17. When I tell myself "I dont have to force myself to be this way or act this way, just be happy." I feel more inclined to do something to be better. Because Im rejecting my self by saying I have to be someone else. Accept yourself before change.

  18. HOLY FCKING WOW. I am halfway through this video and literally SCREAMING in my car at how accurate this information and unpacking of lifestyle understandings this is to me!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS!!!!!!!! My screams are verbal sighs of relief because I FINALLY FEEL UNDERSTOOD AND LIKE I AM NOT FUCKED UP!!!!!! At least not beyond repair LOL! THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!!!!

  19. You lost me at the, be kind, accept myself, don't come down hard on myself. But I am a chronic procrastinator and neurotic. My heart is in the right place, but im so exhausted all the time running from bears and dragons [ or so it feels ] That if I didnt flip out in myself- id watch self-help videos all day long, How do you motivate yourself to do things, esp when you fail a few days in a row and still be kind? Dont you deserve a kick in the ass?

  20. Everyones scared shit in the comment section. What you have to understand is he is talking about a personality trait. Too much of this personality trait can be negative and hurt yourself learn about it understand it and accept it. That's the only way you can move forward to seek the help you need and become a better person.

  21. There is a point at which you actually manipulate religious neurotics (~19 minutes) by implying what their faith could be standing for (although rigidly read words in holy books are what they are), uhm, if that is not denial of reality I don't know what is. So you basically contradict yourself here. I don't think there is a way to, well, fix religious neurotics by implying that there is "their version of religion"; that is just wrong to the very core of both: the recovery (mindset) and religion itself. I choose to accept and respect the book as it is – not as I want it to be, which is why I stay away from it. As for religious neurotic people… we do have a bigger, a different issue here.

  22. This is funny because it sounds like everybody is neurotic, the whole society is neurotic!!! I can relate so much to harsh discipline (It's craaaaazy being a Phd student) BUT GLADELY lately I'm becoming to turn to more soft ways of accomplishing things… I think I'm on the good path toward reprogramming my mind and experience inner peace.

  23. my top 5 neurosis
    1. I have this feeling that I won´t ever achieve the things I want the most. The most notable manifestation of this is a inner voice that tells me " Why would a woman with options choose you? a 5´0" shy guy ?
    2. I feel weird when I try to flirt. Even thinking about myself acting sexualy in a direct way makes me anxious
    3. I feel bad when I disagree with my father, even when I am sure he is wrong
    4. I always compare myself with others
    5. When I am not working on my issues or getting distracted from them I feel restless.

    my rockbottom root cause: The fear that deep down I don´t have what is required. That I am a lost cause

  24. Has anyone else noticed that the triangle logo in the corner is identical to a symbol known to represent pedophilia (according to the FBI)?
    Great content, unsettling symbolism.

  25. i was gonna watch this video but then i realized if i watch a 45 minutes long video of not being so neurotic, that would certainly make me more neurotic than i already am

  26. Why does your logo match the logo used for pedophilic boy love? Even if you don’t have that meaning behind it you are just asking for trouble when it matches all the images you can find of boy love symbolism. Like trying to use a Swastika symbol for something other than what the populace knows it to be.

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  28. Dude Leo I've been watching your videos for about 5 years and in fact, we have had a few exchanges on here… Hope you are doing well… peace and love to you my man 🙂

  29. Hi Leo, i live in a recovery house and some of the woman are now listening along with me. Thanks Terrie

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