8 Hidden Signs of Narcissism (only victims will see) — Evening TV

8 Hidden Signs of Narcissism (only victims will see) — Evening TV


hi everybody welcome to evening TV I’m
evening around some I recently just did a video on how to tell if you’re dating
a sociopath right well so in conscious of that I wanted to do a video on eight
hidden signs of unhealthy narcissism and I say hidden signs because this is signs
that are perhaps hidden and that they’re not like really outwardly outwardly
noticeable to everyone but this is not covert narcissism which is in effect
sociopathy okay so these are just signs that someone has unhealthy narcissism
but is you know not has not gone to source become a covert narcissist they
aren’t they aren’t a sociopath they aren’t outwardly manipulative so now
what these are also going to be there these will all be traits that are shared
with sociopaths but sociopaths have traits that a
narcissist doesn’t okay so it’s just on this continuum and you pass up
narcissism unhealthy narcissism on your way to sociopathy okay so it will have
air all this but the reverse is not true so all the things that a sociopath the
narcissist the unhealthy narcissus doesn’t have okay so entitlement they’re
all entitled they’re all entitled they hit you know when you go to split up
you’re you know you lick the sheets so to speak the sheets the bed the house
that everything will be theirs right everything will be there they will they
will think of you as entitled to nothing no no friends no in fact my husband
didn’t even think I was entitled to keep on breathing if I wasn’t his wife
anymore if he had no more need for me there was no reason for me to even exist
but outwardly our wordly they’ll be very generous outwardly you know it will it
will look nothing like that you know they’ll pick up the check though you
know yeah so domestic tyrant they are it’s there where the highway they are
authoritarian parents they rule as an iron fist
they are it’s their house their blah blah blah
but never in front of people in front of other people they’re you know just sweet
as pie and everybody has you know they’re perfect they’re the perfect it’s
a democratic household and front of other people but behind closed doors and
no one else is looking they are completely a control freak completely a
tyrant at home with among their among their family in their hidden culture of
their home they will have secret addictions third trays they’ll have
secret addictions so this might be it might be drinking that that you know
maybe only the kids see it but it could be something less less you know less
obvious it could be a shopping addiction it could be an addiction to the Internet
it could be you know but some sort of a secret addiction that is hidden from the
public it is it is hidden from everyone else so
it could be the fact that they smoke in private they smoke they smoke but I
didn’t is that one that one rings about with me because that was the case with
my both of my parents they my dad always smoked remember the kid but when he
tried to when he was starting to quit he would still smoke but it would do it in
hiding and he would do like he didn’t want my my kids to see it or something
like that and then there were a couple of times when I when my mom was I knew
that my mom was upset because I come home unexpectedly and I would catch her
with smoking sugar she’s like bracelet brushing the air trying to get it out
and then she would pretend and I would I was trained to just pretend like I
didn’t see anything not not definitely not tease her about it or not say
anything about it just like go okay we didn’t see that it didn’t happen there
was a lot of that the way that I grew up a lot of that and
it went filtered right on over into adult life and this is a little bit a
tangent but the ultimately the relationship between my family members
and I broke up basically because I could no longer do that and then to them
and this is never spoken but to them that was a choice and it was a personal
affront like how dare I how dare I not cheap not cheap hidden
not keep pretending not to see and in fact the truth was I would have except I
couldn’t I was prating doubt I was having heart attacks and depression and
all this kind of stuff is not even know why but say yeah so hiding all that
hiding all the secret stuff and then the family we all keep it we all keep the
secrets that’s just part of how the whole thing functions part of the
illness of it choosie in their self-sacrifice so they will be
self-sacrificing but it’s always in a way that will benefit them and they so
this is how really the golden child thing develops is that they they’ll only
have enough of that – they’ll have enough enough energy to give to one
child they’re not naturally just generous with their love and affection
it has to be it’s such a concentrated effort for them to even try to do – do
they even try to pretend to do the job of being a parent that they can only do
it one they can’t it can’t do it across the board and so because it’s just not a
natural state for them they’re trying to manage and do rather than just be and so
that’s how they develop this golden child thing and and it’s it’s part of
their their psychology which is how they have to divide up and someone has to
take all blame for everything and someone has to get the focus of this
they have to be the perfect one am but it’s also will also play out in terms of
like you a lot of times people will be like volunteers in the hospital and
they’ll be there volunteering for the church visiting the sick people while
their own sick kids are at home alone we have no one taking care of them or
and probably example in case my mother was a nurse and I my health was complete
my brother and I are held was completely neglected okay so the so I just said was
that they’re choosy and they’re self-sacrifice so they will be if
they’re going to make it self-sacrifice so first of all make sure that it’s
something people can see you know so they’re not going to be self sacrificing
in private with their kid well who says I couldn’t do them so it’s much better
if they’re you know to you know mom mom only had enough energy to be you know
take care of people as a nurse at work because that she had a public persona
doing that she got paid to do that and so you know there was she didn’t have
the energy of the desire or the are the maternal instinct the inserting on the
internal love and you know empathy compassion to take care of her children
at home in private or no one could see it they’ll be two-faced and not to be
example sociopath this is trying to this is a little bit
of a rudimentary well they’ll come off as a little bit phony but in private and
so private they’ll have a lot of times they’ll have a you know real dark
diamond face you know could you know the face is real unhappiness and that never
is seen in public never seeing around other people never ever ever seen
there’s a face that you’ll see in private that is never seen when anybody
else is around and the face that you see in public with other people around is
also a face that you really don’t see when you’re alone with them and private
here at vital it’ll go a little friend over something that I might see it but
when it’s just the two of us she didn’t need to put on that you know the smiley
face and sit like that for me it was so strange because it it was so odd
whenever people around just seemed so funny but I realized that other people
didn’t see the other so it may have seemed funny to them but but yeah but
not anything like the sociopath the sociopath who is so smooth it’s like
that he could he could totally you know be
just fooling me all the time my parents were ever interested in
fooling me they had no they know that they were they were not trying to fool
me into thinking that they were anything but them who they were they would just
be who they are and then tell me that it was perfect tell me that was right they
weren’t trying to they weren’t saying to me
they were admitting to being abusive or anything like that they were they were
saying who they were was exactly perfect and they didn’t you know lack of empathy
this is something they share tricky with the associate I’m saying about the narc
system with the sociopath they definitely know how they’re making you
feel and they’re manipulating their feelings they don’t feel it themselves
which is what empathy is but they definitely know the impact they’re going
to have with the things that they do and say what that’s going to do to your
feelings the narcissist I’m not even so sure that they do that they even know
that I’m not I’m not sure I’m not sure that they have that I’m not sure that
they Earth’s is nearly as sophisticated as the sociopath in terms of because
they’re so so focused that they’re they’ve never thought about it they’ve
never thought about what you’re feeling or what you’re what you’re you know what
effect they’re going to have on you other than that they’re trying to
control you so they’re they’re authoritarian in the way that they are
thinking is they don’t have actually I don’t really I think they are actually
more clearly lacking an empathy than all the way down the sociopath level because
they really seem to have up not have much of a clear idea on how to be how
they’re being perceived really like and so they’re not as popular they’re not
popular in the way that the sociopaths are mean sociopaths can win over anybody
an overt narcissist is really off-putting to a lot of people so um and
my parents were not popular people they didn’t have very many friends and things
like that and so you know I don’t think that they
had a good idea really how to make people like them my parents would do
things in to get an immediate effect out of their kids for instance without
really paying much thought to what long-term effect that was going to have
on self-esteem or our relationship or whatever and when it came down to the
end this thing that happened in the end of the you know relationship when they
were taking my ex my soon-to-be-ex-husband sided do not sit
against me it was like they were immediately fighting against something
some fear that they had secure that he had triggered and they were fighting
like they’re fighting for their lives with no thought about the long-term
outcome for our family for my children for them and their old age for anything
they really weren’t thinking like in their minds they were have such a strong
sense of entitlement that they like they could only they could only see as far as
into their nose and then when it was over and I didn’t die and I was still
here and and and they just wanted to like everything go back to normal they
just expected me to be able to do that they just expected that I would come
back and just go back to being the daughter that I was and when I didn’t
they completely acted you were like offended and acted like I had betrayed
them so yeah so they they do truly lack empathy and they are have a strong sense
of entitlement and then the last one is victim status so so that’s exactly a
perfect example so they’ll do something like that and then their play on it now
is that they’re the victims that we have an estranged relationship because I’ve
abandoned them for what reason they have no idea poor them you know they you know
they this story they would tell would be just so pathetic and so far from the
truth but it’s the story they would tell themselves and study they would tell
anybody else and of course they can’t they are so and they are so tied to that
store that it’s like it’s like oxygen I mean
they they need it they need the story because they need to believe that they
are flawless they need to believe that they did everything right and the guy
everything right and nothing’s our fault and they never make mistakes and all
this stuff and my brother who was the golden child is apparently so bought
into it too that he that he has fear he’s part of shooting that too and so so
there’s a lot of delusion stuff that goes along with that but so yeah the
victim status so they they’ll do things and then it will have you know
consequences that would make sense but when the consequences play out
they act like they’re victims of it you know so like when they destroy they took
my ex-husband – indriya ex-husband side and she completely betrayed me and did
all this really terrible stuff to me and they got involved in my divorce helping
him and then when it was over and they didn’t benefit at all I mean everything
they did just benefited him it didn’t do them any good whatsoever
they were trying to get personal gains out of my divorce which never worked out
for them which are all things that he I’m sure peppered that was like in
tightly out things that he made them think they could possibly get and so you
know when those things didn’t work out then they were then that was more things
to be mad at me for when they’re trying to steal from me and manipulate me
didn’t work out for them then they could be mad at me about that too and you know
so they were completely completely manipulated and played by my ex-husband
but because and now he wants nothing to do with them of course but they can’t
see any of that so because that was meant that they made a mistake and so
they have to keep making him right and have to keep inviting him to sing so
they have to keep you know just keep compounding the problem because they
can’t ever regroup they can’t ever go back and go oh I just sitting right you
can’t ever take responsibility for things they do and therefore they can’t
grow and they can’t learn and so it’s ultimately just super super frustrating
for anyone who’s at all healthy is because they are
just absolutely stuck and if not or getting worse just getting worse because
they are getting worse just compound of a compound and the more you tell
yourself some false story you know the sicker and sicker you get you know
they’re just completely because they were not who they are now is not who
they were when I you know they might have been emotionally abusive but it was
much subtler they didn’t do anything like what the things that they’ve done
in the last decade you know they you know fit you know who’s coming right out
you know lying about me and stealing from me and you know things like that
you know it escalated it escalated so okay so those are signs of narcissism
that are going to be hidden from the outside world
so it’s not sociopathy it’s not hidden from you it’s not hidden from it’s not
something that they’re there on purpose you know trying to trying to fool you
but it’s just stuff that’s that the outside world isn’t going to see the
outside signs of overt narcissism okay all right you guys thanks a lot and
please share this with other people let me know also you know if you have any if
you have experiences with this you know tell me about it and and maybe make a
distinction between you know how where where have you seen the the interplay
between the two the sociopath in our system see if we can kind of clear up
some of that it’s not it’s not so important that we need just spend a
bunch of time on it but it’s good for it’s good to have it’s going to get it
right you know I mean it’s good to understand this since we’re all here
talking about it might as well get it right not that it makes that much of a
difference in terms of being with these people because these are all problematic
relationships relationships of inevitable harm and there’s none of them
are prone to are very prone to getting better the prognosis
for improvement on these are really really slim so because for the problem
like for the reason that I just explained that in order to in order to
fix a problem you have to first take responsibility for it in terms of you
know admitting what it is and you know being able to tell yourself what the
problem is that you’re trying to fix so so yeah so that’s what growth and cific
that is really stunted for them and super frustrating for anyone who is it
all healthy all right thanks a lot you guys please subscribe and give me a
thumbs up and I will talk with you again really really soon
alright bye bye

9 comments

  1. I always disliked nurses when I had do deal with them either in my training or when I was sick. There is a bullying culture in the profession. I read an article on it. I think certain professions attract narcs. Very thought provoking. Its heartbreaking when everyone loves the sociopath.

  2. Hello..
    Thank you for your video..
    I can most definately recognize some of the things you are talking about here and compare it to my own father.
    I grew up with him, my mother died when I was 10 years old and I have a brother a few years younger than me..

    I have never quite known what was wrong with him, now as an adult I have seeing a theraphist because I lost my farm(and my horses) because of workinjuries and it was hard for me, I do love my animals..
     I have tried to explain to her how my father was like. But she could never give me good answers.

    Everybody loved my father, classmates, friends, friend parents etc but not many saw "the real one"
    He never ever used violance or hurt us in a physical way at all but he did som things that I do wonder about now. Things that I didn't even thought about befor, cause..that was just normal.. for us..or for me anyway. 🙂
    One time we went skiing, I don't know how old I was at the time but at least I had to been able to stand the skis, so I guess 5-6 years maybe..
    We were in the forest and he simply raced away from me and left me there in the woods by myself.
    A couple came and found me and brought me to my grandmothers house.
    I found out this last year..over 40 years later..!! My grandmother(my mothers mother) have never told me before and no one else either.

    Who leaves a child in the forest alone?
    And that is just one thing out of all that he has done.
    We don't have any contact today, not since about 7-8 years ago.
    All the best
    C~Sweden

  3. This video really helped me to distinguish the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath. Specifically on the "Lack of Empathy" section. It's true that sociopaths have a high level sophistication with their manipulation tactics, and narcissists are so self-absorbed they don't have time or energy for thinking through the effects of their manipulation on others.

  4. Thanks Evening Ransom
    Are these people narcissists or sociopaths more inclined to murder . Or do they have a self preservation instinct?

  5. You make a lot of sense and am thankful for your videos. Your family set-up is almost exactly like mine. When I hear about how the scapegoating happened to others it seems to help release the shame that I carry in my core and have been lugging around most of my life since the age of about 9 years old when it felt like my world fell apart.

  6. All signs are describing my mum. I am almost crying because as you said, it's so frustrating that they never ever learn!!!!
    She LOVES spreading rumors about me, because she loves playing the victim. Telling false stories how I treat her and stuff.

  7. Here’s what they are: Mean Dysfuctionals. It’s fine, just don’t move them in and NEVER EVER GET MARRIED TO ANYONE!

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