A Mother Insists That Selling Drugs Was About “Survival” | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN

A Mother Insists That Selling Drugs Was About “Survival” | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN

IYANLA VANZANT: Now how did you sweet, ol’ round-faced grandmama–? Today you’re a grandma. You weren’t a grandma back then. MATILDA: I was forty-five years old. Forty-five years old… Mm-hmm. Yes. …when you got arrested. Yes. How many children? Ten. Ten children? Yes. Forty-five years old. Forty-five years old. And you got sentenced to what? Three hundred and sixty months… Which is? …equals thirty years. Stop the madness. Why? Drugs. What about drugs? Drugs that my sons was sellin’ to feed their little sisters and brothers, clothe ‘em to send ‘em to school. Your sons… Yep. …were selling drugs… Yep. …to feed your children? To help me feed my children. Why? I was strugglin’. I was workin’. I was tryin’ to go to school. I was strugglin’. My sons— You mean like hundreds of thousands of other black women on the planet? Exactly. So how did you get to sellin’ drugs? I didn’t sell drugs. My sons then decided to sell drugs. Hmm. Because they didn’t want to see their mother strugglin’. They would bring you money? Yes. They’d give me money. And where did you think they were gettin’ the money from? Truthfully? I knew I was takin’ drug money. Really? Yes. From your children? Yes. Talk to me about how a mother does that. If you’ve ever gone to bed hungry… Yeah, I have. I have. I have, too. I ain’t sell no drugs, though. MATILDA: I have, so- and the opportunity was there not to go to bed hungry and not to see my kids go to bed hungry. I took that opportunity. Survival. What’s goin’ on in my shoes? Survival. Survival for me and my kids. That’s what was goin’ on. IYANLA VANZANT: I know what it’s like to be desperate. When you’re desperate you’ll make anything that you need to ease the pain okay. When you’re desperate you’ll tell yourself anything you have to- to justify what you’re doin’ because you’re desperate. But you didn’t come to me ‘cause you’re desperate today. You came to me ‘cause you want to heal, ‘cause you want to know the truth, and that’s what I’m here for, to tell you the truth, so that you can be clear in here now to live differently movin’ forward. All of you were imprisoned before you got locked up. Yeah. Yeah, I can say that. (overlapping) Yeah, you’re right on that. (overlapping) All of you. You’re right on that. I can say that. Okay. (stammers) You were imprisoned before you got locked up. Miss Matilda, Miss Brandi, Miss Taii, that don’t make you bad people, but in order to open those bars today there’s some realities that we gonna have to look at that you may not have ever considered. Don’t make you wrong ‘cause you done did the time now. The question is do you still want to do time, or do you want to be free? Do you still want to do time or do you want to be free? Because, see, as long as you keep holdin’ on to that distorted narrative, what’ll happen, you’ll stay guilty, you’ll stay imprisoned, you’ll stay broken. That’s not why you came to see me, I hope. Why’d you come see me, Miss Matilda? I don’t know why I came to see you right now. I ain’t likin’ you too much right now.


  1. This is what happens when you depend on MASSA to take care of your community. No jobs, no homes, no education, no community. But Martin Luther King is your god though.

  2. Selfish black woman. If you don't have a man or money stop having kids please this is why the black community is they way it is BLACK SINGLE MOTHERS!!!

  3. How calm would any of is be of Matilda has said that she let her daughter prostitute herself to help provide for her 9 siblings? We would be up in arms. Just because he is a young man, and he hussled for the family, it doesn't make it right. Just because it's about survival, it doesn't make it right. It is not judgemental, it is calling a thing a thing. It is not okay.

  4. I get it but at the same time, honestly I don't. Drugs is killing us, more specifically black folk. Her survival eh? All for one and one for all. No judgement but I just wish dealers understood the hand they play in the community

  5. She used her sons instead of growing a backbone and going after her children’s father’s. She’s a poor excuse for a mother and a woman. If she was so fertile she could have become a surrogate and made really money because obviously she loved getting pregnant.

  6. I'm sorry, has the cost of condoms become $100 for 1? Does the free clinic no longer exist for birth control pills? Allowing children to worry about how to feed and support other children makes sense? WTF? Where was the extended family for these siblings to intervene and prevent some of this pure fuckery? Just….so many?s

  7. This wasn’t about survival… this was about her taking the easy route and taking drug money from her sons…

    With 10 children, she should have been collecting child support from the fathers of those children. That would have definitely put food on the table…

    People deal drugs because the money is abundant, and easy….

    But many never seem to be prepared for when the law comes…. and they always do

  8. We been struggling ever since we've gotten off the boat and I don't ever remember my great, grand or parents selling drugs. They worked, family and neighbors, friends, teachers, pastors and community pulled together to make sure the children got what was needed in character, education mannerisms, relationships etc
    Now we’d rather poison our own family and neighbors.

  9. It’s ok because everyone has their reasons to do what they do. The question is…can everyone own up to making those decisions in order to move forward? It’s ok because we’re still here to make necessary changes to become greater than those decisions we’ve made in our past. God bless 🙏🏾

  10. Matilda is a 45 year old woman with 10🙌 children who said she went to prison for the drugs her sons sold? She still not taking no type of responsibility for her actions. She is the parent! Having children is a choice! You don't have them, especially if you can't provide for them. You don't have to get pregnant in the first place! Where are their fathers? Why didn't they provide for her? I only have 2, and it's expensive. I couldn't imagine having 10🙌. I don't think Matilda is ready for Iyanla.

  11. God bless them for walking towards healing. Its Not easy allowing the world to see you in a transparent state. Being subject to judgment and even laughter at your pain. I've even thought about writing for my own family. For now I'm trusting God. Let all believers just pray to our heavenly father for all families represented on Iyanla's fix my life. We all need to be "Fixed" by Jesus!!!! Amen.

  12. These are not traditional black woman these are new age black woman the new age black women hate the traditional black woman

  13. People are always hard on Iyanla when they call her supposedly for help. If you want to be delusional don’t go on the show. She holds a mirror to you. If you don’t like what you see, take the tools she offers to change it.

  14. If her boys can sell drugs they can work a regular job or even do odd jobs. Hard to understand why struggling people have dozens of children.

  15. Thankful I may have struggled because my son's dad passed away, but I made sure this 18 year old know you not going to be in the streets.. I had to get up 5 days a week to get a education, so do you lol…

  16. Miltilda had 12 kids that she couldn't take care of. More than likely she was on welfare. The more children you have the more money you get.
    Back in the 1970's that was the mentality. It wasn't that they didn't have access to birth control. By then planned parenthood was in full effect. Matilda seems like the type of person that did whatever she wanted, and nobody is going to tell her anything. 12 kids, and nobody to help take care of them. Something else is going on here.😳

  17. These comments are ignorant and judgemental! Every woman with multiple children is not trifling. Yes there are some, just as there are those who has one child and are trifling! Children are a BLESSING and its all about how the parents raise them.

  18. Ms. Matilda is a beautiful woman with beautiful children. She just made some not so good choices, just like Iyanla has before.

  19. Drug dealers are just trying to get money. & feens are just trying to get high. I think drug related crimes shouldnt hold over a 10 year sentence .

  20. Lol. Matilda is the truth!!! She told Iyanla I don't know why I came to see you. I ain't liking you right now. Lol. Tell the truth shame the devil. Iyanla got on her nerves. Lol.

  21. the next time my man get in my face talking something I don't want to hear I'm going to scream Stop the madness!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. I hate that world and I despise anyone who justifies drug dealing. Sell your body instead! Harm yourself(!), but leave other people and their children alone!

  23. This woman wasn't trying to hear the truth, but the truth hurts. How can you justify allowing your sons to sell drugs to feed YOUR kids ?! Being a single parent is hard. A lot of woman put that burden on themselves by choosing men to have kids with who are irresponsible, and not worthy of the role of being a father . As a single mother how do you help raise kids behind bars ?! Doing what you have to do for your kids should never include getting locked up ! Then your no help to anyone after that.

  24. Why is she so focused on black women I understand that she is black but my mom is Puerto Rican and she worked full time and went to school.

  25. Come 2 find out this old lady have 12 kids….😱 now why in the hell u lie 2 Ms. Iyanla about the number of children you have. I mean you hear this from men lying bout the number of kids but not a woman.😏

  26. Granted I'm a single mom and I understand the struggle. I work hard to provide and always have. I could never let my child do some illegal mess t ok save me

  27. Iyanla – why did you come to see me?

    Matilda – I don’t on’t know what I came to see you right now … I am not liking you right now ….😂

  28. I am a mother of 9 but I did not have a struggle, my kids did not go hungry. There were to many programs to fall back on until you get back up again. I could see to make extra money. She was to dependent on the drug money. Plus she has a nasty attitude. She can’t be mad with no one but herself. No telling what the kids went through.

  29. That's the problem. The poor make the babies and then we suffer more and find excuses to pay for all the mouths u have to feed. Like selling drugs.

  30. This is my mom Matilda y’all I see a lot of judgement comments on here but this show can never sum up all the things that has been going on in my family generational curses that has been passed on through years and years we gave y’all a glimpse Into our lives and for the ppl who really take something from this god bless you all that’s
    all I care about we on this show to open up ppl hearts and help them understand that bad decision not only hurt you but every one around you I’m the girl in the pink sweater Matilda is my mom my name is keashia Dantzler and I’m proud to be my moms bby girl and for anyone who wants to point fingers god bless u because tbh we really don’t care we care on a mission to be transparent and we did be blessed forgiveness is key

  31. Bro im tired of these disrespectful people talking down on my family now if i start saying disrespectful stuff about every body familys imma look like the bad guy (im broly the savage)

  32. Rob a bank in broad5 day light wit no mask. Or dance on a pole or sale dinners or work in a food bank or work retail or babysit a few kids or work at night stocking while they all In bed or find you a "hard working man" or ask the church or or or ! Thank GOD they made it out doe.

  33. Just watched this lady night and I appreciate iyanla.Too many times ppl are afraid to say it.No your son isn't responsible for doin a man's job and your daughter has no business being a mini mommy for your kids either.Men and women need to be families again.

  34. She already told you Ms Matilda that there will be parts that you won't liking her. No news to Iyanla that you not liking her!

  35. Its funny how people are saying how can she sell drugs blah blah blah. Yes it is wrong, but she had 10 kids!!! Not one or two or even three. 10! They legit had nothing to eat and she was on her own. Listen. You can't judge ANYBODY until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
    Yet someone is on here with their long lip talking about how they struggled being single parent to 1child, well how about 10??? Get real, there's no comparison. None!!

    And there's no point in people asking her why she has 10 kids. Its a done deal. She has 10 kids and has to make the best out of her horrible situation. So why are people literally forcing her to cry over spilt milk??? She can't do nothing about that situation, they already exist and she has to deal with the situation at hand.

    It's really funny to me how people sit on their high horses and judge others. She did her time and paid for the crime and now she's living in her truth. Can she do that without you guys reigning judgment on her? Can she breath?? Let her breath! Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone should also be entitled to redemption if they are changed. Shiiiiiid

  36. I've been watching Iyanla lately and I feel like she is not the truth. I want her to speak not just as a psychologist, but a survivor just like all her clients. I don't know if she understands real struggle.

  37. how much money did miss iyanla give these poor women to do this show? matilda and Taii clearly feel uncomfortable. yikes

  38. I know I'm late but that "I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAME TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW, CAUSE I AIN'T LIKING YOU TOO MUCH, RIGHT NOW!" part got me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  39. So let me get this straightt!!!!! 😮😵😕😕 You had 1 then 2 then 3 then 4 then 5 then 6 then 7 then 8 then 9 then 10 kids. Whyyy!! When I'm sure you was struggling with the first few. Huuhh sis, that's your stupidy and bad decisions. Take some responsibly for your own actions!!!

  40. Opportunist didn’t care her children could have died or go to prison. Narcissistic entities feed off ALL people’s energy. Everyone a victim of their energy stealing opportunistic ways. Even their children.

  41. Sad sad stories happen all over the world . Them poor babies , my heart aches for the children .

  42. This old lady is truly "mentally sick as hell"! If I were the 12 kids I woulf keep it moving without the mother! This lady has so many issues that she can't even be honest and receive the help that she needs!
    Lord help them.

  43. My mama was a single mom of me and my older brother. She didn't once sell her body or sell drugs. She got up everyday and went to work. Worked her behind off. I didn't once have to worry about food on the table and or bills not paid. Moral to my story is you don't have to don't bad to live. But unfortunately the badness in family was passed on from generation to generation.

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