Addicted To Work? Here’s How To Not Miss Your Life

Addicted To Work? Here’s How To Not Miss Your Life

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place
to be if you want to create a business and a life that you love, and today it’s Q&A
Tuesday. Favorite day of the week. Today’s Q comes from Stephanie and she writes: “Hello, lovely Marie. Here’s a Q that’s
sorely in need of an A. I’m super passionate about my work but I have these moments where
I catch myself in the go, go, go of hustling and I think, ‘Someday I’m gonna look back
and wish I hadn’t ripped through my life with such force. I’m gonna wish I had not
poured so much energy into work and had taken more time off.’ I see it so clearly in my
mind, me sitting in a chair looking back over my life wondering where it all went. And then
I go back to the ‘Go, go, go,’ of the hustle. How do I build a business and carry
out the general craziness of life without every minute roaring past at the speed of
light? I feel like it’s binary on or off. Where’s the happy medium? Thanks, Stephanie.” Stephanie, great question. So many of us can
relate to this struggle and what can sometimes feel like we’re all ripping through life
to use your words. Now, there’s a few things that have really helped me in recent years
that I want to share with you today. Number one is meditate on the regular. Whether
you’ve got your own practice or you’d like to try mine, there has been nothing more
powerful in my life to combat that constant sense of rushing. On the rare occasions that
I don’t meditate, I feel like my life is speeding past me. I always feel like I’m, like, chasing
my day and I typically feel more stressed out and more irritable. Now, I promise you,
if you build a daily meditation or stillness practice, and you can start with as little
as 5 minutes, you will virtually eliminate that ripping through life kind of feeling.
Or if you catch yourself starting to slip into it, you’re gonna be able to ease on
out. Even if you change nothing else and just make daily meditation a habit, this one thing
will help you get out of that binary on/off loop you seem to be caught in right now. Number two, rocks first, sand last. Now, you
might’ve heard a version of this story that I just learned from Steven Covey. It’s about
a teacher who pulled out this big glass mason jar and he filled it full of big rocks all
the way to the top. Then he asked his students if the jar was full and they said yes. Then
he pulled out these smaller pebbles and he dumped them in as well and the little pebbles
filled in around the rocks. And he asked his students if the jar was full now, and they
said yes. Then he took a bag of sand and he dumped that into the jar and sand filled in
around every little nook and cranny and he asked if the jar was full now. And they said
yes. Then he dumped everything out and he started again, but this time he started with
the sand and it took up so much of the jar that the big rocks and the pebbles couldn’t
even fit in. And the teacher said to his students, “This
is your life. The big rocks are the huge, important things that make life worth living.
And you’ve gotta know your big rocks and put them in first. Pebbles is the next group of
things that matter to you and things that you have to do, the things that you must fit
in. Then the sand is all the minutiae of life, the stuff that’ll take up all the space
if you let it. So you have to wait and put that in last and add it after you add in everything
else. Pretty deep, right? Here are some of my big rocks. Josh, my health and well being, my family
and Kuma, my team, my friends, the business, downtime and adventure. So Stephanie, what are your big rocks? What
are the relationships and the experiences that are super, duper important to you that
you want to make sure to prioritize and make sure you create the time for? Which brings
me to my next point. Number three is make time off predictable
and required. So in your question you wrote, “I’m gonna wish I hadn’t poured so much
energy into work and had taken more time off.” Now, the way to make sure that you take more
time off is to make sure you take time off. I know. I’m full of super deep wisdom in
this episode. But seriously, in the words of a fantastic
article from Harvard Business Review, you need to make time off predictable and required. So predictable meaning it is set in advance
and required meaning it is non-negotiable. I know that sounds kind of strict for something
that’s supposed to be relaxing, but that’s how you’ve got to be when you’re addicted
to work. See that? Salad bar, here I come. Now, once
you know your big rocks you need to whip out your calendar and start scheduling time off
to make those experiences come to life. I’ve talked about this before but it is
worth mentioning again since we’re about to close our entire company for 2 whole weeks.
Time off is predictable and required for our entire team, including me. And honestly, this
is a joy. It’s something that all of us look forward to and no whips required. Number four, change your choices. So rather
than thinking that you have to make this humungo life change, I want you to realize that you
can totally transform your life one tiny change at a time. Annie Dillard wisely said, “How we spend
our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And the supportive flip side of that is that
over time changing your day changes your life. So take a look at all the little moments in
your day that you might be on autopilot trying to fit in just one more thing and realize
that there are endless opportunities to change your choices. For example: ask yourself, “What can I change
in my day to cherish life just a little bit more right now?” You might want to talk
to your kids in the car instead of putting on a DVD, grab a book or put on some music
instead of wasting time on Facebook or social media, go out to dinner or cook with your
significant other instead of ordering in and watching TV, take a walk and connect with
nature just for a few minutes. And to that I’ll add, make sure you leave
your phone at home or at least put it on airplane mode so it’s not dinging in your pocket.
Because FYI, this is not a nature walk. Now, of course, these are just a few ideas
just to spark your imagination. What I want you to do is mentally go through your day
and examine your habits and then make a list of just a few little choices that you can
change. And that’s what we’ve got for you today,
Stephanie. Four ways to help you continue to reach for those big dreams without missing
out on the sweetness of your life. Now I would love to hear from you. Take an
inventory of your daily habits. What are 3 changes that you could make in your daily
choices that would immediately help you feel like you’re actually truly living your life
and not just ripping through it? Leave a comment below and let me know. Now, as always, the best discussions happen
after the episode over at, so go there and leave a comment now. Did you like this video? If so, subscribe
to our fantastic channel and I would be so grateful if you shared this with your friends.
And if you want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love,
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dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much
for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.


  1. Hmm, seems sad to me that you have a stone that is larger than your you stone (health), for another human being to be disproportionately bigger than anything else in your life, including you. "Put no god before me" is what pops into my mind, which actually means put no other above yourself (neither above or below). When one does that, it clearly makes us lower. Why would you want someone you cherish to be with someone lower? shrugs Just some thoughts.

  2. 1. meditate
    2. travel
    3. play with my kids

    and more…
    meet people, call my parents and siblings often, make more of my art work … these will do the trick for me.
    Thank you so much for your wisdom and advice that make me think about my life again, Marie.

  3. walks in the park, meditation, yoga, meeting friends, family time, traveling, well being, dance and exercise… 🙂

  4. Marie you have NO IDEA how much this video has helped me- esp the Stephen Covey metaphor. Thank you. YOu've helped me with work by sharing something I will share with others- this video! And on a personal level as I keep this in mind. I mihgt even get some big rocks- and write on them- n put them where I can see them.! YES

  5. I feel like I have been hit with a bat on my head now. Thank you for the tip Marie. I will make it a point to meditate regularly and take more time off.

  6. I always take Saturday as a day off no matter how huge work load I have which helps me to break from the week and maybe work on Sunday if there are emergencies ! This video is richly instructive big up Marie (Y)

  7. Great video! I recently joined a dart team with my boyfriend's family. We have one game per week, and I leave my phone at home. It is freeing, and I am absolutely in the moment with everyone. Social media and my blog can take a back burner, they aren't going anywhere. Thanks for the video 🙂

  8. I've noticed when my husband takes time off he feels obligated to "make up" his time he missed at work? Any tips you can give? Thanks for this wonderful video! 👍🏾

  9. I skiped ahead to find wear it starts and when she said Stephanie I freaked out because my names Stephanie 😂😂😂

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