Angry Birds Addicts Anonymous – Awkward Spaceship

Angry Birds Addicts Anonymous – Awkward Spaceship


Okay, guys. If we could just bring it together
here. Who’d like to start us off today? Uh, hi, I’m Brian and I’m an Angry Birds
addict. Hi, Brian. It started for me about a year ago. I had just moved to Chicago and I fell in with a pretty bad crowd. You know, Apple Store employees, people who actually know how to update their Facebook privacy settings, those kind
of guys. Well, my friend Steven – he wasn’t really my friend, but I thought he was at the time – he said, “Hey, I just downloaded the coolest
app over the free WiFi network at the Starbucks where my girlfriend is a barista. You’ve got to try it.” It…it was Angry Birds. Well, it looked like fun and I wanted to fit in, so I tried it. I figured what could be the harm. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have
a problem, that I could stop anytime I wanted to, but I was playing it all the time. Hell, it got to the point where I couldn’t even drop a deuce in the bathroom anymore without getting three stars on a level
first. I was a slave to the devil’s catapult. I needed that sweet avian gravy and nothing else in my life mattered anymore. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I stopped responding to my friends’ Tweets even when they at-tagged me in them. I got fired from my job at Barnes & Noble after I started throwing books at a Green Eggs and Ham end cap display for no
reason. I just kept screaming “I’ve got to knock down their poorly constructed
houses! I’ve got to knock down their poorly constructed
houses!” I was out of control! It wasn’t until I found myself playing the
Halloween levels of Angry Birds Seasons in the middle of February that I realized I’d hit rock bottom. It was hard, but I finally deleted the app
from my iPhone 4. And now…now I’m just trying to take things
one day at a time. Which is hard because I hear Rovio Mobile keeps releasing new levels. The new ones are Western themed. I bet the green pigs probably wear little
sombreros or something. It’s gotta be really cute. One day at a time. One day at a time. Thank
you. Thank you, Brian, that was very brave. Hey, is this the Plants vs. Zombies meeting? Next door on the right. Thanks. (music plays) God grant me the serenity not to be as angry
as those birds. Aw, crap.

29 comments

  1. I"VE GOT TO KNOCK DOWN THEIR POORLY CONSTRUCTED HOUSES!
    I"VE GOT TO KNOCK DOWN THEIR POORLY CONSTRUCTED HOUSES!

  2. no way I thought of this idea too like a few months ago and was going to make it…but they had to turn their phones in at the door and the leader would hold a pig cut out up and i'd tackle him. ahhh:(

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