Ask A Monk: Pornography and Masturbation (and Addiction in General)

Ask A Monk: Pornography and Masturbation (and Addiction in General)


hello welcome back to ask a monk the next question comes from a person who has what appears to be a insurmountable problem in their lives they’re asking about addiction how do you deal with states of addiction and specifically here the person is worried that their addiction to pornography and masturbation are ruining their life which is of course a sad thing to occur no one wants to have their life ruined so yes so in in in general we’re talking about addiction here but specifically we’re talking about pornography and masturbation which are probably two of the least discussed things in Buddhism I don’t think you’ll find too many Buddhist lives in terms of Buddhist monks I don’t think you’ll find too many Buddhist monks giving talks about these things but I’m not afraid to do so and I don’t think I don’t think Buddhist would should be afraid to do so I think often culturally it’s a taboo to talk about these things but if you look at the Buddhist texts texts they are often quite explicit at least in in in monastic circles no talking about the nature of of these states and these things so I think these pornography and masturbation are two very strong addictions they’re two addictions which are a problem in ours in in the world of a big problem or they’re quite prevalent let’s put it that way let’s not get into judgment or part yeah judgment will not get into some kind of categorization as problem yep because I think that’s the first answer on a broad level the first the first way to overcome any addiction is to reevaluate it the Buddha started his talk on but you know on petechiae sama pada which is dependent origination with ignorance so in the Buddhist teaching it’s not addiction that is the problem even though on a basic level the Buddha said yes it’s it’s our craving for things that leads to suffering but the question is why do we crave and the the Buddha’s answer is based on it on ignorance because we have a misunderstanding about the the object of our desires so it’s not that somehow we have to we we have to cut something out or destroy some kind of addiction you know there’s this addictive tendency we have to see clearly we have to see the object clearly the reason why we’re addicted to x y&z are because we don’t understand them and the Buddha’s teaching is that if we just understood these things as they were we would not cling to them we would not desire for them that’s that’s it that’s all there is there’s no brainwashing involved there’s no theory no Dogma simply understanding things as they are and the claim is that when you do so you won’t be attached to them you won’t want them you won’t have any desire for them or for the erratic the eradication of them so when you say that masturbation is and pornography are ruining your life I have to suspect that as with so many other addictions in so many other cases there is there some suppression going on than some judgment going on in regards to these dates probably in all truth if you are honest with yourself you’ll find that it’s not ruining your life that you’re you’re most likely overreacting and it’s this overreaction that is causing a causing a reaction causing the opposite effect that instead of instead of chasing after them you’re repressing them and instead of dealing with the the emotion and the addiction you are clinging to it you are clinging to it as a problem and when you the more you the more you worry and concern yourself and are upset by the situation the more of a problem it becomes the more attachment there is and the less able you are to deal with it because rather than going deeply into it you want to push it away you want to keep it at arm’s length and the problem is if you keep things that arm’s length you aren’t able to understand them masturbation pornography they have to do with this desire they have do it with several things and specifically in the Buddhist teaching it’s something that I think is missed by missed by probably the majority of Buddhists and the majority of people that study the Buddhist teaching only because the majority of Buddhist Buddhists and people who study the Buddhist teaching are not really practicing meditation for those people who practice meditation it becomes quite clear that but each SM about it the Buddhist teaching on dependent origination is the answer that you’re looking for it answers if you understand it from a meditative point of view or from a point of view of ultimate reality it answers this problem of addiction it and it gives the path out of addiction it helps you to understand how to overcome addiction starting with with creating wisdom and understanding now the point being that in in our addictions in this case this is a very good example and it applies very well to dependent origination that there are several things that are were being attacked becoming becoming attached to where we’re craving or clinging to the first one is a a sense object something that we see is something that we hear something that we smell taste feel or think so pornography this is this is specifically related to the visual when you see something and and let’s give an example of well I guess in either case you know the human body you see the human body and it stimulates some kind of response well this is exactly what the Buddha is talking about in petechiae so no part of the dependent origination the it’s the six senses the seeing hearing smelling tasting feeling and even thinking that lead to a pleasant sensation or an unpleasant sensations likewise when you see something ugly it creates an unpleasant sensation in your body and in your mind when you see something neutral it creates a neutral sensation it can calm you even when you see a still pool of water or nature it calms the mind so it creates a sensation so in the case when you see the human body it creates a pleasant sensation that Pleasant sensation creates a desire and a desire for the object for the the object that is bringing the sensation you want to see it more you want to see it again because of that desire there arises our clinging where you need in a sense to see that object again and this is what leads to the addiction to pornography in this case you’ll find that you can’t just sit there you’ll start to think about it again and you try to think of how you can get it and and where and you can get it and when you’re going to get it next and so on it becomes an addiction and this is the how the cycle goes and then you see it again and it creates more pleasant sensations and this is how the brain is being wired your wiring the brain to like it more and more and more the the connection between the sensation or the the the object the sensation and the the craving so or at least the first two when you when you make the connection between the sense object and the sensation the pleasant sensation and the judgment that that it make a judgment that that is a good thing you’re going to to always make that connection again and you’re going to say when you see something even though the pleasant sensation hasn’t arisen you’re going to want it because you know that it’s going to be remember that it’s going to bring you that pleasant sensation and this is really what we’ve done with our minds already this is how we are at this time we so we recognize the human body as something that’s going to bring a pleasant sensation now this it starts with of course masturbation because objectively and this is the key looking at the human body shouldn’t bring a pleasant sensation to the mind there’s no connection there between seeing and the naked human body and and a pleasant sensation you know we’ve when we were young we saw our parents naked we saw our our siblings naked and and it didn’t bring that about but later you know as we hit puberty and so on and not only that but through our connecting the the creation of these connections in this life we it it becomes an obsession in fact where we we are clinging to that so puberty will give us this desire for the the sexual act but it’s through our repetitive eated connection between the human body in the sexual act that creates the attachment to the human body the so we we know objectively this shouldn’t be the case the human body is just another body there should be no more attachment to the human body than then to a monkey’s body or a cow’s body or a fish’s body in fact because they have the same anatomical structure basically but we’ve come to Nova Buddhist point of view through successive rebirth to create this through our repeated connection making connections in this way we’ve built up this addiction and that’s what’s given us this course increasingly course body and caused us to even be born with this sense of attachment to the human body and you know leads of course to the chemical reactions in the brain and so on so this is an explanation of how it happens now how do we get out of it how do we know the real answer to your question as I said through wisdom we can come to see through this we can come to overcome it simply by understanding it for what it is we do this in several ways now I’ve already hinted at one of the ways the first one is the examination and the end the analyzing of the human body and there are several ways you can do this you can simply take apart the human body one of the most basic ways of understanding to understand the nature of the human body and coming to give up this misperception that the human body is something desirable but to break this connection so even though we might as a result still be attached to Pleasant sensations there will be no subjective connection between the human body and those sensations so we might see a naked a beautiful woman a beautiful man and you know the word beautiful doesn’t come to mind because when you look at the body you can see that there’s nothing beautiful about it and whether you say it’s an ugly or a beautiful thing it is simply subjective but in reality it is what it is so we start to take apart the body you start to look at the the hairs on your head and you just think about them and you can even repeat you know we have this in meditation the classic meditation technique is to repeat the word of the object you’re focusing on because that allows it’s a mantra this is what the word mantra means the mantra focuses your mind on the object so we take our hair as their object we say to ourselves hair yeah and we just focus on it part of it is learning about what is hair you know hair is like grass that is planted in your skull and it’s oily and it’s greasy and it’s got pieces of scalp sticking to it if you don’t wash it it smells and and so on that’s split ends and so on and if you learn the more you learn about air and the more you think about it and consider it you come to see that there’s nothing beautiful about it this idea you know you see someone’s beautiful hair is taken apart because you see it clearly for what it is that actually there’s just an illusion there and the illusion is this this conception that we’ve created in our bio this beautiful hair we see another type of hair not beautiful once you look at hair for what it is then you have no concept of this is beautiful this is it’s not beautiful because you see it for what it is this is clearly the case there’s nothing that says this hair is beautiful this air is not beautiful someone has an afro someone has a perm or whatever then it’s just hair and then you go on to the the body hair on the body here in your armpits in the pelvic area on your chest and so on on your your arms and you think about that here in a similar way you think about your the the teeth you think about your teeth and your people you see Oh what beautiful teeth you have look at that beautiful teeth and then you start to think about teeth well actually they’re you know they’re yell a little bit yellow then they’re like these things that are stuck in the gums and they bleed and when food gets on them and so on and you come to see that actually there’s nothing particularly positive or beautiful about teeth either there there’s nothing particularly ugly about them though they can seem ugly when you start to really look at them if you look objectively if you were to you know when you pull a tooth out of your body it doesn’t look beautiful any more it looks quite ugly and gross and disgusting and so on but eventually you come to simply see it for what it is and you look at your nails you look at all the various parts of the body you look at your skin and start going inside to all the organs you take the body apart and you see that there’s really nothing beautiful about it this is one conventional way of coming to understand at least in a basic sense the nature of the body but in an ultimate sense this isn’t going to cut it even though it can trigger some ultimate some true understanding of reality ultimate reality doesn’t admit of these body parts because when you see the human body you’re not actually seeing these things you’re seeing light touching your eye and when you can come to get when you can come to this stage we’re seeing is simply seeing there’s no thought of the person’s hair and so on there’s only seeing and you you you’re able to see anything and see it simply for what it is so there’s no connection main seeing is seeing because that’s what it is you don’t see a human body and say that’s beautiful because it’s you realize it’s ridiculous to say that this is light touching my eye just like any other light it’s seeing and so you know that’s a human but you know it conventionally and it’s it it has no positive or negative connotation so this is a perhaps a better way to approach it for sure is a better way to approach addiction so in the case of pornography rather than you know you can also take the body apart and that’s a valid meditation practice but on a more ultimate level you should look at seeing when you see something take it as seeing so you see this like a book you open the pornography magazine and you’re looking or your videos or whatever looking at it and you know see it as seeing don’t know the first step I mentioned this before but just to really make it clear the first step is to accept and to look begin to look at so when I say you know actually looking at the pornography I really do mean just that you’re you’re attached to these things so you’re going to go for them when you go for them you know because there’s no question of if unless you are suppressing them you know when you open it up and accept and say yes I am addicted to these things then you go and you look at these things and and when you’re looking at them just you know start to learn about them this is where it starts so so yes this is what I’m advocating I’m not saying you know go with no reason but when you go and you’re looking at these things when you’re looking at pornography you look at it and say to yourself seeing seeing know that you’re seeing the mantra here is no longer hair hair or skin skin or teeth teeth now the mantra is seeing so when you see something that’s all it is seeing so you can just if you do this a little bit you’ll see at least partially you’ve solved the problem if you do it repented repetitive repeatedly you will find that your mind changes that you’re able to look at it and see it just as seeing that the connection that you made between this and and the sensation is gone is was a convention or was a creation in your mind it wasn’t real there’s nothing intrinsically beautiful about that you’ll see this this isn’t a theory when you do this you’ll come to see that the is just seen so yeah looking at actually looking at the object it’s going to be a great part I mean another example is smoking many people are addicted to smoking so the best way to overcome smoking is not to find a way to avoid smoking it’s to learn about smoking that when you’re picking up the cigarette apparently this is what meditators tell me I’ve never smoked picking up the cigarette know that you’re picking it up when you want the cigarette wanting and so on when you’re smoking and you’re tasting the smoke tasting when you’re inhaling when you’re feeling it in the chest and so on if you do this enough you’re not going to want to smoke you see there’s nothing beneficial about it that the connection between the pleasant sensation and and the object was a conventional one or was a conception in the mind was one you’ve created in your mind to an extent now in terms of pornography in terms of smoking there is the next step so this is this is one part of the problem the next part of the problem is the actual pleasant sensation and this has to do with either the nicotine in the case of smoking or the masturbation in the case of pornography because you’re you know clearly you are reinforcing the addiction when you masturbate connection you feel happy well then you you create happiness and you see that happiness is based or has some connection with this object so it’s not going to work to simply destroy that connection because we’re obviously creating it the next connection that we have to break is between the pleasant sensation and the craving we have to remove this idea that there is something beneficial about about the happiness and this is probably mine mind-blowing for most people if they’ve never studied things like Buddhism but really what objective and what answer can you give if I ask objectively or intrinsically what benefit do you gain from pleasure from physical pleasure what is positive about it and you know you can simply give a I believe it’s a tautology that say it’s it’s good because it’s pleasant or it’s it’s it’s a good thing because it’s pleasant Pleasant Pleasant states are good Pleasant sensations are good because they’re Pleasant which is meaningless of course and this isn’t simply a tricky sort of argument it’s not just a intellectual trick of sorts it’s actually true that there is no benefit and there’s no intrinsic positive nature in a pleasant sensation and you don’t have to take my word for this and you don’t have this isn’t a dog more dogma that should be accepted when you examine the pleasant sensations no longer feeling guilty that oh now I’m feeling this pleasure I mean it’s ridiculous really because we believe on the one hand that pleasure is good and we believe on the other hand that masturbation is bad well you know if one brings the other how can how can the one be bad and so we have all these other reasons like it brings pleasure but it destroys my ability to relate to other people I believe the problems this person had where he felt that he couldn’t relate to women I think it was a man as a result of masturbating what I guess is understandable but I’m not going to even really go there because I don’t think that’s really the the issue here the the issue is this this clinging this this craving for Pleasant sensations and the idea that pleasure is somehow positive because if you are able to understand that pleasures is not positive in any intrinsic way in any intrinsic manner in an intrinsic way then you’ll have no need to chase after women either whether that’s an agreeable thought to you or not I don’t know but we’re thinking of objective objectivity here if you come to see that something you know objectively is useless is worthless then why would you want to chase after it after all if on the other hand through the practice of the Buddhist teaching you come to see no actually these things are beneficial then we’re not asking to give them up if they are intrinsically beneficial then keep them develop them sustain them all we’re saying is that there are certain things that you’re going to see for yourself are unbeneficial and useless worthless so what we’re what we’re going to do here is look at the pleasant sensation when you feel happy when you feel Pleasant this is the second thing the first was the object of the desert could be something you see hear smell taste and cigarette and so on peel or think and the second one is the sensation that it brings or the sensation that that arises as a result of it so when you feel happy or pleasure simply say to yourself happy happy or pleased pleased or pleasure pleasure feeling feeling even simply you’re trying to see it for what it is getting rid of all of the baggage that we have surrounding it all of this judgment that we make this is good this is bad because it’s mixed up at this point right we think pleasure is good we think masturbation is bad so we feel guilty about and the pleasure comes up and we feel both good and bad about it we’re totally messed up that’s even worse than simply being addicted to this date I suppose I mean I guess it’s good to have some sort of restraint and a conventional level but it’s certainly not an answer in an ultimate sense to to feel guilt about things guilt is actually a negative state it creates suffering it’s part of the problem so when we focus on it we’re going to get rid of both of these we’re going to see that there’s no reason to like it and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it it is pleasure and it is what it is we’re just simply going to see it for what it is this will help to reduce both sides it’ll reduce our feeling of guilt but it will also reduce our feeling of attachment to them once we come to an oath and understand the sensation better we won’t have any desire but I mean a good example is children and at Christmas when you want something when there’s this tension involved with it it’s such a powerful feeling and then Christmas morning you open and you got what you want everything you got everything you want and suddenly the the pleasure is gone the desire is gone the the happiness is gone no there’s no desire for those objects anymore this wonderful thing that you got you know it’s it’s there now you can play with it but you find the desire for it is is completely vanished because it’s something that is familiar at this point the pleasure is something that you’ve experienced and there was no tension involved and so as a result you’re able to give it up but you know to an extent obviously children next Christmas they want more or over their birthday or so on and they always want more so it’s not really giving up but it’s in the same way here we’re coming to be totally familiar with the object and the more you’re able to become familiar with it and understand it the less tension there will be in the more common and ordinary it becomes so that when next time you feel the pleasure you don’t feel any need the next time but through practice you don’t feel any need to go the next step to say oh I feel pleasure now I have to undertake to masturbate or to have another cigarette or to go to chase after the object that which that which brings pleasure this is the second step the third step is the desire or desire itself because in the beginning until you fix the problem part of the acceptance and understanding is accepting an understanding that you are attached to the object you do like the feeling and this is probably I would say where most of the Gilcrease ides because we don’t feel so guilty about the pleasure but we feel more guilty we might feel someone guilty for the pleasure we feel more guilty about our desire for it our liking of it you know we we want to have cigarettes we want to masturbate we want the objects of our designer we want to look at pornography we really want to but we feel so guilty about it so both of these states have to be given up both of them the guilt is not a positive thing either so when you want something part of giving up the wanting party being free-flowing thing is our ability to the accept that we want it to get rid of the tension because that’s really what it is desire is a sort of tension it’s stress and when you can see that it’s stress that you know you look at it objectively you say okay I’m not going to hit you just let me let me see I’m not going to hurt you I’m not going to scold you like a little child and then you look and you see it for what it is you’ll find that it’s not so scary and it’s not so well you’ll see in the end that it’s not so beneficial it’s not so worthwhile it has no intrinsic benefit to it you’ll come to see that the problem with the desire is not that it’s an evil bad immoral thing that you should feel guilty and sinful about the problem is actually that it’s stressful that actually wanting things is a kind of a stress it’s a tension that exists in the mind your your mind is not at peace when you want something you’re actually suffering in a sense you’re you’re you’re in a state of uh needs of distress of upset when you can see that and you see it simply by looking at the one thing you want something wanting one thing liking liking when you like something when you’re taking the cigarette when you’re masturbating or liking liking honestly this if this is the way to overcome addiction when you do that it will destroy the link of let’s try to destroy the chain it will destroy any desire for your for the object and it will destroy the clinging so there may well be the craving in the beginning but it won’t lead to clinging because you’ll see that the craving is useless and you won’t give rise to this idea of of chasing after the object or of the goodness of clinging of craving something so you won’t give rise to further craving and further wanting these three stations I would say go back and forth between these three the object of the desire the pleasant sensation that it brings and the desire that comes from the pleasant sensation yeah so the object here is actually I would say as an addition the object here is not just the the the form the physical form of the pornography it’s also the physical act of masturbating that you know you can if you or the cigarette I mean I’m trying to think of other ideas so I don’t get too caught up in this obviously difficult subject to talk about in a public forum but the act of for instance smoking when you pick up the cigarette picking up when you as I said when you smoke inhaling when it goes into the lungs and you know the physical act and of course in the same way the physical act of masturbating if you do it mindfully you’ll find that your addiction towards it even if you’re having sexual intercourse if you start to do it mindfully you’ll find that your addiction for these things is is lessened because you see them clearly you see that the sexual act is not such a wonderful glorious you know you can be wrong as romantic as you like but in the end it’s it’s quite a beast eale animal sort of thing of all the pleasures in the world it’s one of the the basis or one of the basis but it’s not very high up there and I think I’ve talked about this before but I think one of the problems that that occurs is that people aren’t able to accept this sort of thing because of their their inability to pull themselves out of the human state we think of sex sexual act sexual act sexuality as the highest because we can’t think of it simply because we can’t think of anything higher and I think it would be sad really looking at the complexity of the universe if that were all there was and if the height of the universe were were even the human state I think we’ve come to accept on some level that the human state is not the ultimate state that there we could do with a lot of improvement in many ways even just physically so by what estimation can we say that the sexual act is is perfect or is the highest or is even high in any sense of the word I think if we’re able to pull ourselves out of out of this we will come to see that the human state is actually quite limited and we’ll be able to to rise above it and you know from a Buddhist point of view this is going to allow us to be free from the human state to be free from the limitations not to be free from all of the good things that come from being being human like wisdom and insight and love and compassion and so on but to be free from all the negative states or to evolve and to rise above this because only if you only if you are stuck in this idea that the human state is perfect and I think this state this idea comes from a lot from religion you know if you believe in God if you believe this is a decreed divine creation I think that’s where this even for people who are not religious where this idea has come from if you’re not able to to break out of this that I think that is it’s going to be quite difficult to to overcome states like masturbation because you still have the idea that we are perfect and copulation is is necessary for human development and for populating the earth and so on the volleys idea is that these are good things it’s good to be human it’s good to populate the earth with more humans and so on and so on because we simply can’t think of anything better we’ve never seen anything better we say well this is all there is so what I can think of well the best is humans you know monkeys are not very far advanced humans are more advanced humans should rule the earth should rule the universe in fact when we have no reason to believe this sort of thing we could find without talking about Buddhism you could be visited by aliens who could be far superior physically even to us the idea that we have to we have to copulate to to reproduce is simply a limitation of human beings I mean actually it’s not because you know scientists can potentially create living beings in the laboratory so so the sexual act is is seen therefore unless you’re a religious person you know and and religious in the sense of belief that this is a creation created by a benevolent God who in his benevolence created things like mosquitoes and plagues and war and famine and so on if you believe that and then there’s a problem for you if if you’re if you’re able to let go of that sort of belief you’ll come to see that the human state and all of these so-called highest pleasures are really meaningless but that’s that’s simply I think one barrier that comes this misunderstanding in this view that these are somehow intrinsically beneficial based on our religious views or simply based on cultural or societal views if we’re able to overcome those we’ll be able to do as I said and look at these things scientifically objectively and come to to see them for what they are I guarantee that if you put this sort of practice into into practice that you will be able to overcome addiction even very difficult addictions like smoking masturbation and etc okay I hope this has helped thanks for tuning in thanks for the question all the best

100 comments

  1. Buddhism just teaches the way of having conscience. When people have common sense , they recognise the difference between bad or good. Wise people chose the beneficial things while foolish recognize nothing.

  2. If you would like to support Bhante work in sharing the Dharma, please see the 2017 online campaign at https://www.youcaring.com/sirimangalo-746833 Dedicating merits to benefit all beings. _ /| _

  3. I got a question. If I accept your argument then how can i have meaning to the important things. I mean if I only see things for what they are "objetively" how can I have deep friendships (its all about chemicals in my brain) or purpose in teaching (reproducing human level experiences). The question is what is the criteria for value things, because we inevitably value.

  4. I think, both western and eastern cultures & traditions should really appreciate what you're doing here. Here as a western cultured buddhist monk you're addressing issues that many of the eastern or western religions have been avoiding in modern day life. What you're doing is absolutely necessary and I hope you have lot of courage, health and energy to keep doing what you're doing. Hopefully, many of your contemporaries learn from your work to enlighten people and do some good work.

  5. I wasn't addicted until he explained that I would like it more and more and more and that my brain is wired to do so, thanks for training

  6. Is it natural not to have sexual desires ? From a scientific point of view we where made to procreate, reproduction, no ?

  7. the more you trying to find a reason to against the universe content, farther you will understand the universe & yourself.

  8. In my experience waching porn and masturbating is much better than any kind of meditation (and I tried many of them). Some drugs are (for a limited period of time) even much better. It is only pitty that as I grew older I can't masturbate more often. But to be addicted on meditation is also good. I don't say it is the best but you can meditate much longer than to masturbate.

  9. If everything is just subjective blah, what's the point in living at all? If there is no beauty OR ugliness, why should we care about the suffering of ourselves or others? Why not just kill ourselves over and over again, (assuming the reality of reincarnation) until the heat death of the universe? At that point, there will be no more life, death, pleasure or suffering. All will be undone, regardless of ones actions or inaction, at or up to that point, Buddha or not. Why would we want to extricate ourselves from a web of life that had to fight so hard to exist? We are the universe attempting to understand itself. The whole interconnected parts of the whole and all. Are we not harming every other thing, both living and not, by tampering with that fragile system? I know, I seem like a moralless troll asking these things, but I'm honestly trying too reconcile these basic truths with the one bellife system that seems to care about critical thought. I respect Buddhism enough to ask these things.

  10. we are attracted to what is healthy(most cases) scientist found that there is a specific hip to waste ratio that we tend to be more attracted to because of "fertility"(les problems during pregnancy).

    attraction is basically "instincts"(programed behavior that human developed over generations).
    finding a fish attractive(for sex) makes absolutely no sense unless there is some sort of "bug"(error) in the brain and received messed up experiences.
    there is also such a thing as being attracted to what isn't attractive just for the feeling of taboo which would explain why bestiality exists.

    when talking about nature vs nurture i think both are always in play.

  11. I think Epitectus has a good take on this issue:

    ''If you are struck by the appearance of any promised pleasure, guard yourself against being hurried away by it; but let the affair wait your leisure, and procure yourself some delay. Then bring to your mind both points of time: that in which you will enjoy the pleasure, and that in which you will repent and reproach yourself after you have enjoyed it; and set before you, in opposition to these, how you will be glad and applaud yourself if you abstain. And even though it should appear to you a seasonable gratification, take heed that its enticing, and agreeable and attractive force may not subdue you; but set in opposition to this how much better it is to be conscious of having gained so great a victory.''

    Thanks for the amazing video!

  12. It seems to me that ALL addictions are the same. I feel we must look at the true cause of addictions on the spiritual level. I seem to feel that we lack personal happiness and also lack a connection with others and the universe as well. All my desires at times are purely temporal. The attainment of the object of my desire, whatever that may be is merely a bandaid, a quick fix for the truth of what is lacking. Personal spiritual happiness, fulfillment and a connection to everything and the true understanding of this is what is missing and is the solution as well to the vicious cycles of desire and fulfillment of these desires which give us a fleeting albeit false sense of ?happiness?.

  13. May I ask why these subjects are considered taboo amongst Buddhist monks. No human experience of any kind should be considered taboo for discussion.
    I can see that after delving deep i to the reasons for most of our sufferings the sources of these problems are many times exactly the same.

  14. Are most people so rooted in an almost animalistic existence that any form of transcendence is impossible?

  15. hi i like this video but how can possible to remove my habit this..you tell me…and how can make budh bhiksu…i want to understaning this relison

  16. Thank you for your teaching, i see now that monk that live in forest/remote area does't mean you turn away from people, thank you made this video i understand myself more.

  17. arousal from porn for me is connected with being judgemental​ and the covetnouss nature together. when I'm in a place of being objective and not having sex on a pedestal it doesn't effect me nearly at all

  18. Thank you very much. Your words are very clear. It feels difficult to mention this topic, because it is laden with a lot of shame, at least for me. I can remember that when I was a boy, I used to think "why do men lose their dignity like that around pictures of beautiful or naked women? I never want to be like that". I would like to be able to return to that, being able to see women and people in general as just what they are, without loading my own desires onto them.

  19. If people gave up sex we'd die off though. Is that the ultimate aim, if every human reached enlightenment en masse, and attraction to the opposite sex died?

    Smoking rocks. It's better than punching people :p

  20. Is this Monk's celibacy deliberate or conditioned on incompatibility with women and therefore contingent when compatibility happens?

  21. Terrible advices. Looking at porn IS the addiction. You activate regions of your brain related to sex just by looking at it. This dude is like: "u addicted to heroin? Then use it till u can see it in a objective way!"
    Wth

  22. sounds like he's saying that "the body isn't beautiful" as a rationalization and mental exercise to help him cope with all the pussy that has passed him by. "The human body isn't beautiful, especially women; it's just an illusion/construct brah". Preach on playa #Monklife

  23. 24:15 – 24:40 he literally says "women are useless; worthless". Uhh, what? And pleasure serves no purpose? Pleasure has no intrinsic value you say? What kind of bullshit is that? This monk couldn't be more wrong. I understand the point he is trying to make, but to say pleasure serves no purpose and has no intrinsic value is just dumb. The 2 very things humans get the MOST pleasure from, are 2 things that are critical to the life and survival of the human race. Sex and procreation is PLEASURABLE for a reason. If it felt like a root canal, the species would avoid procreation and we wouldn't reproduce. The second thing, eating food, is also highly PLEASURABLE. And oh yeah, it's also not just critical, but absolutely ESSENTIAL for us to survive. So pleasure DOES serve a purpose. The two most vital PURPOSES on Earth for every human (reproducing and eating food) are also two of the most pleasurable

  24. You pink cave people started it . Now you are complaining. I bet you didn't know that your parents legacy would destroy your life. Dam caveman with you debaucherous cave culture.
    JUST BEAT OFF AND DIE….

  25. So what your saying is Meditation is the answer, I don't need 6+ minutes to know this. So much wasted breath. Go meditate you fool. keep your mouth closed until you have something real to say.

  26. The reason I don't like dating men is because they are obsessed with objectifying female bodies, but* they do not have the experience of being female, most of them do not understand our experience at all and are not very good at empathizing with us; just we are just objects of sex and pleasure to them. To be reduced to that in another's experience is very unpleasant. It takes an empathetic man with good relationships with females to understand us and to be worth spending any time with (whether or not he also has a porn addiction). When you don't empathize readily, it is much easier to enact violence on the object of your attention. Just like the billions of animals that are tortured for our palate every year. If I date a woman, she knows how it is to be a woman. She knows the abuse and the kindness alike, she knows living in this body like I do. Thus even if she is addicted to porn, she is still usually much more empathetic and thus less likely to enact any kind of abuse than the (less empathetic) male. She may be addicted to the female form sexually, but being that she lives in this form, she does not objectify/glorify/bastardize women to the extent a male will. She knows we are still people, just as complex as they are.

    This is why I do not like relations with immature men. They need to learn how to empathize.
    I have a bit of a compulsive porn habit myself and it isnt fun, but I don't objectify either males or females (i am bi); I always seek to understand experience. An aggressive, porn addicted young male is potentially rather dangerous and selfish.

  27. 20:00 this is the exact way that I gave up tobacco! After I became really present with the act of smoking it became just like anything else I could be doing, nothing special about it. Then, because I knew there were more beneficial things I could be doing, when I wanted to smoke I exercised being aware of what I was doing at that moment and forgot about smoking. When the cravings came I repeated the process, I focused on being present in either smoking or not smoking, and after about a month a had no cravings at all and gave up tobacco.

  28. My mind is oky to it. I don’t do these things often therefore I don’t feel guilty anyways. I have accepted my weaknesses n I love myself. It’s all about the MIND. Thank you for sharing. Bless

  29. so happy to hear this
    ex-japanese Buddhist current Atheist that love so many of These teachings….attachment and Objective reality are very important lessons

    thanks

  30. Yeah, it’s great to break free from bondage and be more productive, make more money… lol. Try looking for Zeke Vikalen’s stuff online, by googling him, you’ll find ONE of the MANY effective methods to make it.

  31. We must not let our instincts be tested. Masturbation, in healthy moderation. Pornography, a plague onto mankind, we must resist that which does not let us grow

  32. This dhamma talk should be spread for all those looking for help in any addiction. It's helped me from today onwards and I hope I can help my friends with it too. For anyone struggling with the imprisonment of addiction or looking to try addictive substances and practices, just know that many people have overcome such desires and it is possible. Just follow bhante's instruction with great zeal and ambition! 🙂

  33. It is more of a matter of coming closer to having sex without self control. Most people have copulation this way, and it is wrong because people get into trouble with thier enemies this way. If your enemies can get you to have sex or even lower your self control then they can murder you or manipulate you otherwise.
    Thus is addiction and mastrubation and pornography a pitfall leading to personal suffering.
    Anything that is a waste of time and pointless, or also lowers self control and increases weak desires is to be avoided carefully.

  34. I can say that im addicted to certain figure of female body, it triggers me every day where ever i go, i cant find a way to set my mind free. My mind wants to look up what it likes. And im also kind trying to restrain my self from masturbation, which is just adding to the fire for now. I know if i masturbate i will be adicted even more couse this is more physiological need.
    Your suggestion helped, but not entirely. I'll certainly put more practice into it.
    So if anyone can answer me, can not masturbating help me in a long run with a problem like mine?

  35. 21:53 he makes a very good point that applies to any sort of pleasure that originates from clinging (and is not in line with the goal of generating dispassion leading to a genuine and lasting happiness which does not lead to suffering). If you can leave a lesser happiness in exchange for a greater happiness, abandon the lesser one for the greater, long-term happiness. It's a skill to be developed, the ability to drop the attachment to temporary pleasures that eventually result in some type of suffering and replace the activity with one that will give you lasting pleasure that harms no one and leads to release from suffering (meditation.) When you can do this, just the thought "I have kept my virtue, have not harmed myself or others in seeking happiness" will give you greater pleasure for a longer time than sexual release or a cigarette etc can. That being said it doesnt always work to force yourself to stop something when you dont truly believe you want to. I quit cigaretted exactly in the way he explained, by observing the habit and the action for what it was, and admitting to myself while I was smoking what I was actually doing to myself. Eventually I lit a cigarette and it made me sick to smoke I couldn't even finish it- the desire was uprooted. There was no need to punish or force myself. Thanks for talking about this "taboo" subject!

  36. My friend Buddha Stoner worshiper – you are on the wrong road and doing all against the Lord, go check here before you die and face the lord with regrets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdHjwyvdY1c

  37. Buddhism is not a religion. Anyone can benefit from the Buddhism. Anyone can be a Christian Buddhist, a Catholic Buddhist, a Muslim Buddhist, a Hindu Buddhist or even a Jewish Buddhist. Buddhism really is understanding ourselves. Finding inner peace. Buddhism has no human master. Buddha's teachings("Dhamma") are the master. Even Buddha himself has considered the Dhamma as the master/teacher. Because Dhamma shows the logic and tools of analysis which we will need to understand ourselves. Thank you for this wonderful video. Especially Very useful for the younger generation.

  38. This guy is full of crap.Pleasure is good,overpleasure is bad.Hapiness is our natural state,how could it be bad?
    This guy just want to be off reality,he doesn't want to live,he wants just to exist and notice shits

  39. If pleasure has no benefit to us and we find a way to let go lets say of all pleasure, then what is left ? What do I do with my spare time what do I do to be happy if pleasure is not the answer?

  40. Hey I don't want lecture is there anyway so I can stop it…I hear lot of shit from lot of ppl…but I want real answer

  41. Pornography/Women (Unless your a homosexual) is a never ending battle for men no matter how strong your sheer will is you will succumb to it. Anyone who says they dont watch porn and has a computer is a liar.

  42. I masturbate to porn because it's convenient and quick. I can't be bothered with trying to organise real sex. It's too much effort. Masturbation I can get over with in ten minutes.

  43. What about masturbation because of health issues? I've read a lot of things related to being more prone to prostate cancer if you don't masturbate.

  44. If anyone has this problem certainly on the internet, they should make it difficult to access such websites, through the router or with software, by doing so hopefully by the time they get through all the "blockers" the desire will have ceased. Just a thought:)

  45. everyone is addicted to something. As your addicted to being a buddhist monk and shaving your head and trying to not be addicted to anything is also an addiction to not be addicted to things.

  46. The first teaching of the Buddha is that in this world and life there is suffering. Later there is the teaching that the five skandhas are Dukkha. We are taught to meditate on emptiness which includes selflessness. In meditation we can drop body and mind and carry this into our everyday life. That's how I see it anyway. I'm no monk or anyone qualified to teach. Just the thoughts of an old man who has been studying and trying to practice Buddhism. Loving kindness to all of you.

  47. There is a Russian website (forum ) www.antio.ru and there are a few guys there who managed to live without masturbation or sex for 1 year or more. So,it is possible even if you are not a monk! By the way, the link on this video was posted on www.antio.ru

  48. Sir don't make such long videos…make small video..try to over come video within 5-4min.whatever thoughts you want to convey ..

  49. The body cannot create in the mind, it is a confusion of levels which results in sickness. It just happens that these energies exist at the sacral chakra area but this could be the same in any energy center could it not?

    I do accept the belief or idea that masturbation is a attachment to the physical world by the body but I also extend that it is a mental block of the non physical world. Choosing to believe in the illusion rather than the truth. I want to say it sounds like an imbalance between the sacral chakra and the third eye, where the third eye is blocked and the sacral chakra is over active.

  50. Most people only enjoy watching porn but doesn't know what the actors go through. Quite a greater number of them eventually end up denouncing the acts they have committed. The issue is that the society doesn't appreciate that aspect rather some people at some ends go a long way in promoting porn. Porn exposes people to a lot of sexual abuse & addiction to masturbation which eventually doesn't not augur well for a healthy living. The only thing we see is the fun-filled which ends up an illusion. A lot happens behind the scenes.

  51. I cant get over the pleasure part of this problem. I tried breaking this connection with this addiction. But my clingingness from pleasure is always their.

  52. very wise words, I just cannot fully agree, with the idea of not chasing after women, up to a choice I guess, but even monks have to come somehow to this world, so someone has to do the chasing so that the monks can later say it makes no sense 😉

  53. Funny Eckhart Tolle makes the exact opposite point. He accuses scientists of killing the beauty of the world by analysing it (i.e. taking it apart, which is what this monk here advocates). Then he ridicules scientists who use the word "just" to describe the makeup of the world (e.g. ''The universe is JUST strings".. which is basically what this monk here is doing by saying all somebody is made up of is worthless ).. Tolle concludes by advocating presence and hence sensing the beauty of a thing without having to analyse it mentally. Baffling how brutally and fundamentally the two oppose here 😀 Spectacular :D.

  54. Wisdom and knowledge: Don't push away from the physical thing you crave. Instead when you seek them out (and you will because you're addicted) try to actually see them objectively. Try to understand it more and come from a place of acceptance, wisdom and knowledge of what it actually is not the fantasy in your head.

    Sensation: truly delve into the answers of the question "What benefit do you get from it?" Yes you feel pleasure but as he points out pleasure is just pleasure it give you no benefit only a pleasant sensation.

    Acceptance: Accept that you are addicted/attached. Accepting your craving for your addiction can stop you feeling guilty and ultimately craving that thing even more.

    Just my notes from the video. Thanks for your great insight and knowledge.

  55. Sex is a normal pleasurable and necessary thing for procreation. Making it, my pleasurable addiction to satisfy or fill momentarily my emptiness and relief my anxiety is the situation to observe or meditate over. You have recognized the bad result of the problem ("It's ruining my life, can you help?"). In recognizing it you have put a distance between the situation and yourself. Try not reacting to your urge and look at your mental need for a few seconds or as long as you can and see what happens in your mind. To me having the same problem you have, I have felt a loss of loving sensitivity to the object (a Woman) . Thank you for give me the opportunity to express myself this has help me. My respect to Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu,

  56. At ca. 10:25 you've said, that there is no objective attachment between looking at body and having pleasure. We are encoded to procreate so I think that your are wrong in this particular case. Of course then we make milion attachments on our own but this one, basic remains. Or I simply misunderstood you. Cheers

  57. This is rather a teaching and teaching can't be an answer to addiction. He is saying that u shud watch porn and say seeing seeing. Hhaha. This is going to be your another relapse. Only a non addict can do this seeing seeing stuff..

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