Ask A Monk: Pornography and Masturbation (and Addiction in General)

Ask A Monk: Pornography and Masturbation (and Addiction in General)

100 comments

  1. Buddhism just teaches the way of having conscience. When people have common sense , they recognise the difference between bad or good. Wise people chose the beneficial things while foolish recognize nothing.

  2. If you would like to support Bhante work in sharing the Dharma, please see the 2017 online campaign at https://www.youcaring.com/sirimangalo-746833 Dedicating merits to benefit all beings. _ /| _

  3. I got a question. If I accept your argument then how can i have meaning to the important things. I mean if I only see things for what they are "objetively" how can I have deep friendships (its all about chemicals in my brain) or purpose in teaching (reproducing human level experiences). The question is what is the criteria for value things, because we inevitably value.

  4. I think, both western and eastern cultures & traditions should really appreciate what you're doing here. Here as a western cultured buddhist monk you're addressing issues that many of the eastern or western religions have been avoiding in modern day life. What you're doing is absolutely necessary and I hope you have lot of courage, health and energy to keep doing what you're doing. Hopefully, many of your contemporaries learn from your work to enlighten people and do some good work.

  5. I wasn't addicted until he explained that I would like it more and more and more and that my brain is wired to do so, thanks for training

  6. Is it natural not to have sexual desires ? From a scientific point of view we where made to procreate, reproduction, no ?

  7. the more you trying to find a reason to against the universe content, farther you will understand the universe & yourself.

  8. In my experience waching porn and masturbating is much better than any kind of meditation (and I tried many of them). Some drugs are (for a limited period of time) even much better. It is only pitty that as I grew older I can't masturbate more often. But to be addicted on meditation is also good. I don't say it is the best but you can meditate much longer than to masturbate.

  9. If everything is just subjective blah, what's the point in living at all? If there is no beauty OR ugliness, why should we care about the suffering of ourselves or others? Why not just kill ourselves over and over again, (assuming the reality of reincarnation) until the heat death of the universe? At that point, there will be no more life, death, pleasure or suffering. All will be undone, regardless of ones actions or inaction, at or up to that point, Buddha or not. Why would we want to extricate ourselves from a web of life that had to fight so hard to exist? We are the universe attempting to understand itself. The whole interconnected parts of the whole and all. Are we not harming every other thing, both living and not, by tampering with that fragile system? I know, I seem like a moralless troll asking these things, but I'm honestly trying too reconcile these basic truths with the one bellife system that seems to care about critical thought. I respect Buddhism enough to ask these things.

  10. we are attracted to what is healthy(most cases) scientist found that there is a specific hip to waste ratio that we tend to be more attracted to because of "fertility"(les problems during pregnancy).

    attraction is basically "instincts"(programed behavior that human developed over generations).
    finding a fish attractive(for sex) makes absolutely no sense unless there is some sort of "bug"(error) in the brain and received messed up experiences.
    there is also such a thing as being attracted to what isn't attractive just for the feeling of taboo which would explain why bestiality exists.

    when talking about nature vs nurture i think both are always in play.

  11. I think Epitectus has a good take on this issue:

    ''If you are struck by the appearance of any promised pleasure, guard yourself against being hurried away by it; but let the affair wait your leisure, and procure yourself some delay. Then bring to your mind both points of time: that in which you will enjoy the pleasure, and that in which you will repent and reproach yourself after you have enjoyed it; and set before you, in opposition to these, how you will be glad and applaud yourself if you abstain. And even though it should appear to you a seasonable gratification, take heed that its enticing, and agreeable and attractive force may not subdue you; but set in opposition to this how much better it is to be conscious of having gained so great a victory.''

    Thanks for the amazing video!

  12. It seems to me that ALL addictions are the same. I feel we must look at the true cause of addictions on the spiritual level. I seem to feel that we lack personal happiness and also lack a connection with others and the universe as well. All my desires at times are purely temporal. The attainment of the object of my desire, whatever that may be is merely a bandaid, a quick fix for the truth of what is lacking. Personal spiritual happiness, fulfillment and a connection to everything and the true understanding of this is what is missing and is the solution as well to the vicious cycles of desire and fulfillment of these desires which give us a fleeting albeit false sense of ?happiness?.

  13. May I ask why these subjects are considered taboo amongst Buddhist monks. No human experience of any kind should be considered taboo for discussion.
    I can see that after delving deep i to the reasons for most of our sufferings the sources of these problems are many times exactly the same.

  14. Are most people so rooted in an almost animalistic existence that any form of transcendence is impossible?

  15. hi i like this video but how can possible to remove my habit this..you tell me…and how can make budh bhiksu…i want to understaning this relison

  16. Thank you for your teaching, i see now that monk that live in forest/remote area does't mean you turn away from people, thank you made this video i understand myself more.

  17. arousal from porn for me is connected with being judgemental​ and the covetnouss nature together. when I'm in a place of being objective and not having sex on a pedestal it doesn't effect me nearly at all

  18. Thank you very much. Your words are very clear. It feels difficult to mention this topic, because it is laden with a lot of shame, at least for me. I can remember that when I was a boy, I used to think "why do men lose their dignity like that around pictures of beautiful or naked women? I never want to be like that". I would like to be able to return to that, being able to see women and people in general as just what they are, without loading my own desires onto them.

  19. If people gave up sex we'd die off though. Is that the ultimate aim, if every human reached enlightenment en masse, and attraction to the opposite sex died?

    Smoking rocks. It's better than punching people :p

  20. Is this Monk's celibacy deliberate or conditioned on incompatibility with women and therefore contingent when compatibility happens?

  21. Terrible advices. Looking at porn IS the addiction. You activate regions of your brain related to sex just by looking at it. This dude is like: "u addicted to heroin? Then use it till u can see it in a objective way!"
    Wth

  22. sounds like he's saying that "the body isn't beautiful" as a rationalization and mental exercise to help him cope with all the pussy that has passed him by. "The human body isn't beautiful, especially women; it's just an illusion/construct brah". Preach on playa #Monklife

  23. 24:15 – 24:40 he literally says "women are useless; worthless". Uhh, what? And pleasure serves no purpose? Pleasure has no intrinsic value you say? What kind of bullshit is that? This monk couldn't be more wrong. I understand the point he is trying to make, but to say pleasure serves no purpose and has no intrinsic value is just dumb. The 2 very things humans get the MOST pleasure from, are 2 things that are critical to the life and survival of the human race. Sex and procreation is PLEASURABLE for a reason. If it felt like a root canal, the species would avoid procreation and we wouldn't reproduce. The second thing, eating food, is also highly PLEASURABLE. And oh yeah, it's also not just critical, but absolutely ESSENTIAL for us to survive. So pleasure DOES serve a purpose. The two most vital PURPOSES on Earth for every human (reproducing and eating food) are also two of the most pleasurable

  24. You pink cave people started it . Now you are complaining. I bet you didn't know that your parents legacy would destroy your life. Dam caveman with you debaucherous cave culture.
    JUST BEAT OFF AND DIE….

  25. So what your saying is Meditation is the answer, I don't need 6+ minutes to know this. So much wasted breath. Go meditate you fool. keep your mouth closed until you have something real to say.

  26. The reason I don't like dating men is because they are obsessed with objectifying female bodies, but* they do not have the experience of being female, most of them do not understand our experience at all and are not very good at empathizing with us; just we are just objects of sex and pleasure to them. To be reduced to that in another's experience is very unpleasant. It takes an empathetic man with good relationships with females to understand us and to be worth spending any time with (whether or not he also has a porn addiction). When you don't empathize readily, it is much easier to enact violence on the object of your attention. Just like the billions of animals that are tortured for our palate every year. If I date a woman, she knows how it is to be a woman. She knows the abuse and the kindness alike, she knows living in this body like I do. Thus even if she is addicted to porn, she is still usually much more empathetic and thus less likely to enact any kind of abuse than the (less empathetic) male. She may be addicted to the female form sexually, but being that she lives in this form, she does not objectify/glorify/bastardize women to the extent a male will. She knows we are still people, just as complex as they are.

    This is why I do not like relations with immature men. They need to learn how to empathize.
    I have a bit of a compulsive porn habit myself and it isnt fun, but I don't objectify either males or females (i am bi); I always seek to understand experience. An aggressive, porn addicted young male is potentially rather dangerous and selfish.

  27. 20:00 this is the exact way that I gave up tobacco! After I became really present with the act of smoking it became just like anything else I could be doing, nothing special about it. Then, because I knew there were more beneficial things I could be doing, when I wanted to smoke I exercised being aware of what I was doing at that moment and forgot about smoking. When the cravings came I repeated the process, I focused on being present in either smoking or not smoking, and after about a month a had no cravings at all and gave up tobacco.

  28. My mind is oky to it. I don’t do these things often therefore I don’t feel guilty anyways. I have accepted my weaknesses n I love myself. It’s all about the MIND. Thank you for sharing. Bless

  29. so happy to hear this
    ex-japanese Buddhist current Atheist that love so many of These teachings….attachment and Objective reality are very important lessons

    thanks

  30. Yeah, it’s great to break free from bondage and be more productive, make more money… lol. Try looking for Zeke Vikalen’s stuff online, by googling him, you’ll find ONE of the MANY effective methods to make it.

  31. We must not let our instincts be tested. Masturbation, in healthy moderation. Pornography, a plague onto mankind, we must resist that which does not let us grow

  32. This dhamma talk should be spread for all those looking for help in any addiction. It's helped me from today onwards and I hope I can help my friends with it too. For anyone struggling with the imprisonment of addiction or looking to try addictive substances and practices, just know that many people have overcome such desires and it is possible. Just follow bhante's instruction with great zeal and ambition! 🙂

  33. It is more of a matter of coming closer to having sex without self control. Most people have copulation this way, and it is wrong because people get into trouble with thier enemies this way. If your enemies can get you to have sex or even lower your self control then they can murder you or manipulate you otherwise.
    Thus is addiction and mastrubation and pornography a pitfall leading to personal suffering.
    Anything that is a waste of time and pointless, or also lowers self control and increases weak desires is to be avoided carefully.

  34. I can say that im addicted to certain figure of female body, it triggers me every day where ever i go, i cant find a way to set my mind free. My mind wants to look up what it likes. And im also kind trying to restrain my self from masturbation, which is just adding to the fire for now. I know if i masturbate i will be adicted even more couse this is more physiological need.
    Your suggestion helped, but not entirely. I'll certainly put more practice into it.
    So if anyone can answer me, can not masturbating help me in a long run with a problem like mine?

  35. 21:53 he makes a very good point that applies to any sort of pleasure that originates from clinging (and is not in line with the goal of generating dispassion leading to a genuine and lasting happiness which does not lead to suffering). If you can leave a lesser happiness in exchange for a greater happiness, abandon the lesser one for the greater, long-term happiness. It's a skill to be developed, the ability to drop the attachment to temporary pleasures that eventually result in some type of suffering and replace the activity with one that will give you lasting pleasure that harms no one and leads to release from suffering (meditation.) When you can do this, just the thought "I have kept my virtue, have not harmed myself or others in seeking happiness" will give you greater pleasure for a longer time than sexual release or a cigarette etc can. That being said it doesnt always work to force yourself to stop something when you dont truly believe you want to. I quit cigaretted exactly in the way he explained, by observing the habit and the action for what it was, and admitting to myself while I was smoking what I was actually doing to myself. Eventually I lit a cigarette and it made me sick to smoke I couldn't even finish it- the desire was uprooted. There was no need to punish or force myself. Thanks for talking about this "taboo" subject!

  36. My friend Buddha Stoner worshiper – you are on the wrong road and doing all against the Lord, go check here before you die and face the lord with regrets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdHjwyvdY1c

  37. Buddhism is not a religion. Anyone can benefit from the Buddhism. Anyone can be a Christian Buddhist, a Catholic Buddhist, a Muslim Buddhist, a Hindu Buddhist or even a Jewish Buddhist. Buddhism really is understanding ourselves. Finding inner peace. Buddhism has no human master. Buddha's teachings("Dhamma") are the master. Even Buddha himself has considered the Dhamma as the master/teacher. Because Dhamma shows the logic and tools of analysis which we will need to understand ourselves. Thank you for this wonderful video. Especially Very useful for the younger generation.

  38. This guy is full of crap.Pleasure is good,overpleasure is bad.Hapiness is our natural state,how could it be bad?
    This guy just want to be off reality,he doesn't want to live,he wants just to exist and notice shits

  39. If pleasure has no benefit to us and we find a way to let go lets say of all pleasure, then what is left ? What do I do with my spare time what do I do to be happy if pleasure is not the answer?

  40. Hey I don't want lecture is there anyway so I can stop it…I hear lot of shit from lot of ppl…but I want real answer

  41. Pornography/Women (Unless your a homosexual) is a never ending battle for men no matter how strong your sheer will is you will succumb to it. Anyone who says they dont watch porn and has a computer is a liar.

  42. I masturbate to porn because it's convenient and quick. I can't be bothered with trying to organise real sex. It's too much effort. Masturbation I can get over with in ten minutes.

  43. What about masturbation because of health issues? I've read a lot of things related to being more prone to prostate cancer if you don't masturbate.

  44. If anyone has this problem certainly on the internet, they should make it difficult to access such websites, through the router or with software, by doing so hopefully by the time they get through all the "blockers" the desire will have ceased. Just a thought:)

  45. everyone is addicted to something. As your addicted to being a buddhist monk and shaving your head and trying to not be addicted to anything is also an addiction to not be addicted to things.

  46. The first teaching of the Buddha is that in this world and life there is suffering. Later there is the teaching that the five skandhas are Dukkha. We are taught to meditate on emptiness which includes selflessness. In meditation we can drop body and mind and carry this into our everyday life. That's how I see it anyway. I'm no monk or anyone qualified to teach. Just the thoughts of an old man who has been studying and trying to practice Buddhism. Loving kindness to all of you.

  47. There is a Russian website (forum ) www.antio.ru and there are a few guys there who managed to live without masturbation or sex for 1 year or more. So,it is possible even if you are not a monk! By the way, the link on this video was posted on www.antio.ru

  48. Sir don't make such long videos…make small video..try to over come video within 5-4min.whatever thoughts you want to convey ..

  49. The body cannot create in the mind, it is a confusion of levels which results in sickness. It just happens that these energies exist at the sacral chakra area but this could be the same in any energy center could it not?

    I do accept the belief or idea that masturbation is a attachment to the physical world by the body but I also extend that it is a mental block of the non physical world. Choosing to believe in the illusion rather than the truth. I want to say it sounds like an imbalance between the sacral chakra and the third eye, where the third eye is blocked and the sacral chakra is over active.

  50. Most people only enjoy watching porn but doesn't know what the actors go through. Quite a greater number of them eventually end up denouncing the acts they have committed. The issue is that the society doesn't appreciate that aspect rather some people at some ends go a long way in promoting porn. Porn exposes people to a lot of sexual abuse & addiction to masturbation which eventually doesn't not augur well for a healthy living. The only thing we see is the fun-filled which ends up an illusion. A lot happens behind the scenes.

  51. I cant get over the pleasure part of this problem. I tried breaking this connection with this addiction. But my clingingness from pleasure is always their.

  52. very wise words, I just cannot fully agree, with the idea of not chasing after women, up to a choice I guess, but even monks have to come somehow to this world, so someone has to do the chasing so that the monks can later say it makes no sense 😉

  53. Funny Eckhart Tolle makes the exact opposite point. He accuses scientists of killing the beauty of the world by analysing it (i.e. taking it apart, which is what this monk here advocates). Then he ridicules scientists who use the word "just" to describe the makeup of the world (e.g. ''The universe is JUST strings".. which is basically what this monk here is doing by saying all somebody is made up of is worthless ).. Tolle concludes by advocating presence and hence sensing the beauty of a thing without having to analyse it mentally. Baffling how brutally and fundamentally the two oppose here 😀 Spectacular :D.

  54. Wisdom and knowledge: Don't push away from the physical thing you crave. Instead when you seek them out (and you will because you're addicted) try to actually see them objectively. Try to understand it more and come from a place of acceptance, wisdom and knowledge of what it actually is not the fantasy in your head.

    Sensation: truly delve into the answers of the question "What benefit do you get from it?" Yes you feel pleasure but as he points out pleasure is just pleasure it give you no benefit only a pleasant sensation.

    Acceptance: Accept that you are addicted/attached. Accepting your craving for your addiction can stop you feeling guilty and ultimately craving that thing even more.

    Just my notes from the video. Thanks for your great insight and knowledge.

  55. Sex is a normal pleasurable and necessary thing for procreation. Making it, my pleasurable addiction to satisfy or fill momentarily my emptiness and relief my anxiety is the situation to observe or meditate over. You have recognized the bad result of the problem ("It's ruining my life, can you help?"). In recognizing it you have put a distance between the situation and yourself. Try not reacting to your urge and look at your mental need for a few seconds or as long as you can and see what happens in your mind. To me having the same problem you have, I have felt a loss of loving sensitivity to the object (a Woman) . Thank you for give me the opportunity to express myself this has help me. My respect to Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu,

  56. At ca. 10:25 you've said, that there is no objective attachment between looking at body and having pleasure. We are encoded to procreate so I think that your are wrong in this particular case. Of course then we make milion attachments on our own but this one, basic remains. Or I simply misunderstood you. Cheers

  57. This is rather a teaching and teaching can't be an answer to addiction. He is saying that u shud watch porn and say seeing seeing. Hhaha. This is going to be your another relapse. Only a non addict can do this seeing seeing stuff..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *