Dave Chappelle, Chris Tucker, Kevin Hart & More In Best Of: Def Comedy Jam 25 | Netflix Is A Joke

Dave Chappelle, Chris Tucker, Kevin Hart & More In Best Of: Def Comedy Jam 25 | Netflix Is A Joke


(crowd applauds) – Women go to restaurants and
lose they goddamn mind, man. They got to order from that
expensive side of the menu, the side with the steak, and the lobster, and the Dom Perignon. Guys like to give them that
little warning too, huh? Ooh honey, you understand that’s the fuckin’ side of
the menu, you understand that? (laughter) It’s steak, lobster, and dick! It is a combination! (laughter) – If a n**** really wanted to rape me, what can I really do? Be honest. Like, if you get past
my scuffle, that’s it! I gotta take one for the team. (laughter) That’s all, that’s all I got. If you get past my scuff– Hey, get the fuck off n****– (thumps mic) Hey, get off n****– (laughter) (screams) – Ladies, you gotta start
taking some responsibility for your own miserable life. If you over 25 years old, you still walking around here
talking bout n****s aint shit, bitch, you need to grow the fuck up with your irresponsible ass! (laughter) What you meant to say, was all the n****s you
fuck with aint shit! (laughter) That’s right! You need to figure out
what it is about your pussy that keep attracting “aint shit” n****s. Might be “aint shit” pussy! (laughter) (stomps foot) – Imagine if Michael Jackson
was from the project. (laughter) (jazzy dance music) (laughter) (laughter) – What if Michael Jackson was a pimp? (laughter) Shit, it’d be him and Tito, be riding around in a Cadillac and shit. (snaps fingers) (laughter) Slow down, Tito. (laughter) Slow down, Tito, daaaamn! (laughter) Is that my ho over there
sitting on the curb? (laughter) Let me out. (snaps fingers) Come here, girl! (laughter) I said, “Come here girl!” (laughter) Where my money? How much you got? (laughter) Mike, I’m sorry! All I got is a hundred-dollar bill. Girl, you been out here all day, and all you got is a hundred-dollar bill? – Ahhhh! (slapping sound) (laughter) Keep it in the closet. (laughter) – I think Mike was on crack. (laughter) I bet you Mike was at
home, Mike was like– (laughter) (sniffing) (screams) (laughter) (laughter) (sniffing) (laughter) (laughter) (laughter) (laughter) (laughter) (sniffing) (laughter) Hoooo! – Oh, the white folks, (laughter) was shocked when they saw that tape. Police whooping black folks in a black community aint no new shit. When I saw that, I thought it was a fuckin’
new Timex commercial. I didn’t know what the
fuck it was. (laughter) – But that’s all right, cause
the brotha gettin’ paid! He gettin’ a million
dollars for every blow. 56 million dollars. (applause) I’m looking to get fucked up! (laughter) I’m doing 300 miles an
hour in a Volkswagen! (laughter) Yellin’ out the window, “Fuck the police!” (laughter) “Fuck all ya badge carrying motherfuckas! “Come over here, “whoop my ass, gimme my cash!” (laughter) – [Newsman] The issue was
not whether Lorena Bobbitt did what her husband claimed she did. The facts about the act were evident. – She cut his dick off. (laughter) (clucks) Drove down the highway. (laughter) (clucks) And threw it out the window. (laughter) – Car 1-11, we want you to
proceed down on the freeway, see if you can’t locate a dick. (laughter) – She obviously got 20/20 vision, she found the little thing. It was very difficult to find! (laughter) – [Newsman] Los Angeles Police Department is actively searching for Mr. Simpson. – You know who the real victim is? Ike! (laughter) Ike Turner! (laughter) Cause, Ike was the King
of the Woman Beaters ’til OJ took his title. (laughter) – Don’t nobody give a fuck about OJ and all that ol’ punk ass shit! N****s just wanna know
when is the next riot. Fuck that! (laughter) – [Woman] We the jury, find the defendant, Orenthal James Simspson, not
guilty of the crime of murder. – I want Johnny Cochran in my corner. He was like a magician. – -said, “If it don’t fit, you must– “acquit!” (laughter) – I actually heard white people
say that they were so upset and angry with the verdict
that they couldn’t sleep. Well, you know, black people have had
insomnia for 400 years. (applause) – Every prison is filled with n****s! Just overcrowded with n****s! One mufucka gets away, “Hey! We gotta take a look
at the justice system!” It’s not working! (jazzy music)

61 comments

  1. Dave Chappelle Def Jam special was not all of that letโ€™s be honest cause yโ€™all in the comments dickriding him too hard

    Katt Williams is an underrated gem

  2. This was when comedy was at its its greatest. All the racial shit thrown and not a sensitive bastard to be seen or heard of…. nowadays its offensive.

    White Joke…. offensive
    Asian Joke…. offensive
    Black Joke….. offensive
    Women Joke… offensive

    Jeff Epstein did not kill himself

  3. If Mr Dave Chappelle was at the beginning of the video I would not have waited to see the rest of the video

    Unless I am waiting for another clip of chappelle ๐Ÿ

  4. Dave is the GOAT and all….but what the fuck is up with all these comments skipping the rest of the video? Watch the whole thing! Dont sleep on any of these greats, there some classic lines in here.

  5. Katt Williams was funny as shit…. too bad they started fucking with him after he blew the whistle on what goes on at those Hollywood parties

  6. Seems like black people had problems since forever with the police, white people, crimes and now everyone is triggered and blaming their president for saying the truth. Black people are fools.

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