A$AP Rocky has admitted to being a sex addict, and he claims that he had
his first orgy when he was 13. He says threesomes are
a regular part of his life– not a shocker. And, uh, he sometimes
records them. Cool. Uh, this guy’s starting to sound
like DJ Jazzy Jeff Epstein. -(laughter, groans)
-Oh, wow. No, he’s starting to sound
like it– he’s not that yet. That was a good one. Uh… you have a lot
of thoughts about it. I-I just, if I look
at the photograph there, in this era
of inclusion and diversity, I feel like my people
are underrepresented -in A$AP’s…
-(applause) -In this picture?
-And I’ll be honest… Yeah. -No, look.
-I mean, I’m a fun… (laughter) That’s a white guy back there. I’m a pretty fun addition
to your orgy. I got…
I bring a joie de vivre. (laughter) I bring miniature quiches. I’m not gonna wear
anybody out, you know? (laughter) -That’s a plus.
-True. Like, it’s just, like, you know,
like, he’s a good sport. This guy’s a good sport. Yeah. -Good conversation.
-I like how he… he tells us he’s a sex addict. -Like, I’m not your girlfriend.
I don’t care. Like… -Yeah. That’s what you should say
to a girlfriend on, like… when you’re caught, and the
guy’s like, “Oh, you know what? I forgot to tell you,
I’m actually a sex addict.” No, I don’t…
Nothing, nothing, no. No to all of it. I don’t…
The orgies, the answer’s no. It’s, like, guys cannot
multitask to save their lives. You can’t text me back
while watching a football game. But then when there’s
five naked women… (applause, whooping) -…all of a sudden.
-You’re suddenly MacGyver, yeah. All of a sudden
when there’s five naked women, you can go down on one woman,
finger two women, have sex with another one,
and record it? -(laughter)
-Get the (bleep) out of here. -(applause, cheering)
-SPADE: Get out of here! CUMMINGS:
The answer’s no! Say no! Diplo, what’s happening
underneath that DJ booth? I mean, you know,
he’s a good buddy. -This is kind of…
-Oh! -(laughter) -You know him.
-How are the orgies? No, I… that’s…
I’ve never been in one of them, and I haven’t been invited,
like you– maybe we can… -next round, but…
-I’m available. Yeah. I think it’s, for him, it’s part of the job description
that, you know? I’ve hung out with him
a couple of times, and… he’s stole all the girls
from backstage a few times, -and, uh, you know?
-SPADE: Really? -(laughter) He’s not invited backstage
-But, um… He seems like he does well
in the girl area. Yeah, he does okay. You know, his lawyer,
Andrew Dice Clay said, “He likes pussy. He’s a rapper.” Um, moving on, in animal news, a 190-pound mastiff named Floyd went on a hike with his owner
near Salt Lake City, and he went two miles up a hill, and he got tired
and would not move. Uh, a group of a rescue workers were forced to carry Floyd
back down in a stretcher. Let’s take a look. This is a fun one. Aw, look at Floyd. LENNON:
Aw. That’s me at Runyon Canyon. -CUMMINGS: Is that… -Whitney,
what do you have to say? Is that how you carry Nick
Swardson home from the bars? (laughter) Yes. -DIPLO: Wow.
-I don’t want to fat shame him, but he could lay off
the Snausages. I mean, Floyd, come on. But it is a tough hike. -Yeah. -I mean, that’s not…
Are you okay? -I feel like you’re doing this
for me. -SPADE: I did. -We said we needed… -I feel
like you picked a dog topic -’cause I’m on.
-SPADE: Yeah. Like, if I had a show, I wouldn’t do topics
about leaves. -For me?
-Yeah. Well, we did it for you,
and now you’re bombing. -We’re gonna move on. So…
-Thank you. (laughter and applause) Oh, let’s look at the photo. -He’s a fan of the show. Look
at this. -CUMMINGS: It’s cute. -Aw!
-SPADE: Aw! Look, he has to read the jokes,
he’s so dumb. (laughter) Kourtney Kardashian
claims a woman who was watching her kids
stole $700 from her and $4,500 from Scott. So she stole 40… $5,200 from Kourtney. All right, so, uh, listen… -Oh, her brassiere is showing!
-Uh-oh! -Heyo! Someone’s gonna
get yelled at. -Whoops! -(laughter)
-Um, uh, so… Diplo, you ever get ripped off or anything like this
happen to you? Uh, you know, I used to work
at a Subway in Orlando. -And, um, this was a long time
ago. -You don’t have to brag. Yes. I was, uh, I was actually
a sandwich artist. -It’s a… It’s an actual…
-You’re a sandwich artist. -Okay. -Yeah. I’m not… You
know, it was a pretty cool job, but we would get robbed,
like, every other day. It was open till, like,
3:00 in the morning. At some point, I would just
always go in the refrigerator and just walk away,
like, when the guy’s coming in with guns and stuff. So it was kind of like
a regular occurrence, so… They walk in with a gun.
You just help yourself -to the fridge. Slam.
-DIPLO: I’ll be right back. Yeah, exactly.
Take whatever you want. I’m out. Yeah. -What happened? -I was
getting in a little fridge. -Oh, okay. -No, the fridge
was big in Subway. -It’s a walk-in.
-We had a big fridge. -I like the… -Did you think
it was the Subway kiosk? I thought it was a little…
I just got… I always get in a mini fridge
in my mind. (laughter) -SPADE: I got it.
-DIPLO: That’s so dangerous. (cheering and applause) Have you been ripped off or not? No, I haven’t really been
ripped off much, but I did watch the video where she found out
that she had been stolen from, and the first thing she said…
Did you see on the show? She went,
“Change the iTunes password!” -What? -I love it
when people are so rich that they don’t even know
how technology works. -SPADE: Right.
-Like, her point of reference is, like, the last time
she didn’t have an assistant, which was, like, ten years ago. She’s like, “Lock the DVD case! -Cancel the Blockbuster
membership!” -SPADE: Yeah. “Oh, my God,
cancel the Myspace account!” SPADE:
Ah. All right, let’s check in on Jen Aniston’s
Instagram watch. See how we’re doing.
She’s up to 11 million! -LENNON: Wow. -CUMMINGS:
Is this in the last 20 minutes? -SPADE: Yeah.
-DIPLO: That’s… Really? She’s rolling. This is like
the, uh, thing in Times Square. I got to…
I hope I get some siphon ones. Yeah, all right.
Listen, there was some… You lost that many followers
just during this show. Other way.
(buzzes lips) Uh, there was some excitement
on Dancing with the Stars. -LENNON: Yes.
-I don’t know if you heard this. Last night,
judge Carrie Ann Inaba, she fell out of her chair on TV.
(laughs) It’s just funny. -Oh, my gosh. (screams)
-There we go. Sorry. Oh! Oh, no! -Now, listen.
-Wow. No one’s laughing at that. It’s-it’s sad. But they didn’t know
why she fell, but it turns out
it was my fault. (cheering and applause) -(screams)
-Oh, no! -(laughs) So stupid.
-LENNON: That was really stupid. That was not doctored. Sorry, I was aiming
for the old guy in the middle.