Family Focused Addiction Support Training 9.17.19

Family Focused Addiction Support Training 9.17.19


>>GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US FOR THE

WEBINAR.

WE’LL BE GETTING STARTED RIGHT

AT 3:00.

JUST IN ABOUT THREE MINUTES OR

SO.

IF YOU NEED CAPTIONING PLEASE

LOOK AT THE INFORMATION IN THE

CHAT BOX.

THERE’S A LINK YOU CAN CLICK ON.

>>OKAY.

I THINK WE’RE GOING TO GET

STARTED.

GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYONE.

WELCOME TO TODAY’S WEBINAR,

FAMILY FOCUSSED ADDITION SUPPORT

TRAINING GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK.

WE’RE REALLY PLEASED THAT YOU’RE

JOINING US HERE TODAY.

I’M YOUR HOST, SUSAN HALPIN THE

EDUCATION AND OUTREACH

COORDINATOR FOR THE NEW ENGLAND

REGION OF THE NATIONAL NETWORK

OF LIBRARIES OF MEDICINE.

MY OFFICE IS LOCATED AT THE

UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS

MEDICAL SCHOOL IN WORCESTER,

MASSACHUSETTS.

LET’S GET AN IDEA WHO’S JOINING

US TODAY.

WHILE I’M ADVANCING ON TO THE

NEXT SLIDE, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO

INTRODUCE YOURSELF USING THE

CHAT BOX, TELL US YOUR NAME AND

WHERE YOU’RE LOCATED AND TELL US

WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING TO LEARN

TODAY, THAT WOULD BE GREAT AS

WELL.

SO JUST A FEW THINGS, DETAILS

ABOUT TODAY’S WEBINAR.

CLOSED CAPTIONING IS AVAILABLE

AND THE INFORMATION TO GET THE

CAPTIONING IS IN THE CHAT BOX.

YOU CAN CLICK ON THE LINK.

THIS WEBINAR IS BEING RECORDED

AND YOU WILL RECEIVE AN E-MAIL

WITH A LINK TO THE REPORTING IN

ABOUT A WEEK.

YOU WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO

ASK QUESTIONS TO OUR PRESENTER,

MAUREEN CAVANAUGH DURING THE

LAST 15 MINUTES OR SO OF THE

WEBINAR.

SO IF YOU HEAR SOMETHING OR SEE

SOMETHING THAT YOU’D LIKE TO ASK

ABOUT, JOT IT DOWN AND WE’LL

GIVE YOU TIME AT THE END.

YOU’LL BE USING THE CHAT BOX AND

YOU CAN CHAT YOUR QUESTIONS

USING THE ALL PARTICIPANTS SEND

TO OPTION.

MEDICAL LIBRARIANS CAN RECEIVE

ONE CE CREDIT FOR ATTENDING THE

SEMINAR.

YOU JUST HAVE TO COMPLETE AN

EVALUATION AT THE END OF THE

WEBINAR TO RECEIVE THE CREDIT.

THAT EVALUATION SHOULD

AUTOMATICALLY APPEAR ONCE YOU

LEAVE THE WEBEX SESSION.

THE LAST SLIDE WILL HAVE THE

ENROLLMENT CODE THAT YOU’LL NEED

TO GET THE CEs.

IT’S ACTUALLY LISTED ON THE

SLIDE AS FAM1920.

I WISH THAT WE COULD OFFER CE

CREDITS TO OTHER PEOPLE.

UNFORTUNATELY WE DON’T HAVE THAT

SET UP AT THE MOMENT.

ALSO, WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOUR

FEEDBACK ABOUT THE WEBINAR.

SO EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT RECEIVING

CE CREDIT, PLEASE CONSIDER

COMPLETING THE EVALUATION SO WE

KNOW HOW TO IMPROVE OUR

TRAINING.

FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW OR ARE

NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE NATIONAL

LIBRARY OF MEDICINE, I’M JUST

GOING TO TAKE A COUPLE MINUTES

TO EXPLAIN WHO WE ARE AND THE

HEALTH AND MEDICAL OUTREACH

PROGRAM WE HAVE.

SO THE NNLM IS A PHYSICAL

LIBRARY LOCATED ON THE CAMPUS OF

THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF HEALTH

IN BETHESDA MARYLAND.

IT’S THE LARGEST BIOMEDICAL

LIBRARY IN THE WORLD AND ONE OF

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT’S LARGEST

PROVIDERS OF DIGITAL CONTENT.

ALL THE INFORMATION FROM THE

NATIONAL LIBRARY IS AVAILABLE

ONLINE ACCESSED BY ANYONE AND

THERE’S NO COST TO USE THE

DATABASE, TOOLS OR WEBSITES.

THE MISSION OF THE NNNLM IS TO

IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH AND

ADVANCE MEDICINE BY MAKING

HEALTH AND MEDICAL INFORMATION

ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYONE.

THE NLM CARRIES OUT THIS MISSION

THROUGH ITS NATIONAL NETWORK

WITH MORE THAN 7500 MEMBERS

ACROSS THE UNITED STATES.

THIS WEBINAR IS PRESENTED

THROUGH THE NEW ENGLAND REGION.

THERE ARE SEVEN OTHER REGIONS

CROSS THE COUNTRY THAT PROVIDE

SIMILAR OUTREACH WITH ONLINE

HEALTH AND MEDICAL INFORMATION,

TRAINING, WEBINARS OR EVEN LIVE

TRAINING AND GRANT FUNDING.

THOSE WHO USE OUR RESOURCES FORM

OUR NETWORK AND NETWORK MEMBERS

COME FROM MANY DIFFERENT

BACKGROUNDS AND PROFESSIONS.

FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE REGISTERED

FOR THIS WEBINAR ARE LIBRARIANS,

HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS, PUBLIC

HEALTH PROFESSIONALS, EDUCATORS,

STUDENTS, FIRST RESPONDERS AND

MEMBERS OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

ANYONE CAN JOINED THE NETWORK

AND RECEIVE INFORMATION ABOUT

THE TRAINING WE OFFER.

EVERYTHING THE NNLM OFFERS IS

FREE.

THE NNLM ALSO PROVIDES GRANT

FUNDINGS TO ORGANIZATIONS THAT

FURTHER THE NNLM MISSION.

IT’S FUNDED OVER $150,000 FOR

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDERS RELATED

PROGRAMS AND PROJECTS FROM THE

NEW ENGLAND REGION AND PROVIDED

TRAINING TO ABOUT 77,000 PEOPLE.

THE NNLM PROVIDES AN EXTENSIVE A

INFORMATION HOW TO PREVENT AND

TREAT SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

IT PROVIDES A WIDE VARIETY OF

ONLINE ADDICTION PREVENTION AND

TREATMENT INFORMATION.

NLM RESOURCES DO NOT CONTAIN ANY

ADVERTISING.

THEY’RE WRITTEN BY MEDICAL

EXPERTS AND UPDATED ON A REGULAR

BASIS.

YOU DON’T NEED AN ACCOUNT TO USE

THEM.

THE SLIDE SHOWS TWO NNLM SITES

THAT HAVE A GOOD PLACE TO START

IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR

EVIDENCE-BASED HEALTH AND

MEDICAL INFORMATION ABOUT

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

ON THE LEFT IS A PICTURE OF THE

MEDLINEPLUS.gov PAGE YOU’D

NAVIGATE TO IF YOU SEARCH FOR

OPIOID ADDICTION.

MEDLINE PLUS IS THE NNLM

CONSUMER WEBSITE.

ON THE RIGHT IS A PICTURE OF THE

TREATMENT PORTAL.

WHEN YOU RECEIVE THE LINK FOR

THE WEBINAR YOU’LL RECEIVE LINK

TO ALL OF THE SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER RESOURCES THAT ARE

MENTIONED IN THE WEBINAR.

I JUST WANTED TO POINT OUT JUST

A COUPLE OF HANDY SITES AND

TOOLS AND THEN WE’LL GET STARTED

WITH MAUREEN.

SO PILLBOX IS ONE OF NNLM’S

TOOLS THAT PROVIDES DATA AND

IMAGES FOR PRESCRIPTION, OVER

THE COUNTER, HOMEOPATHIC AND

VETERINARY PILLS MARKETED IN THE

U.S.

THIS WEBSITE HELPS YOU IDENTIFY

A PILL IF YOU WERE TO FIND ONE

AND DIDN’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.

THE SITE CONTAINS INFORMATION

ABOUT PILLS SUCH AS HOW THEY

LOOK, THEY’RE ACTIVE AND

INACTIVE INGREDIENTS AND MANY

OTHER CRITERIA.

IF YOUR ORGANIZATION PROVIDES

HEALTH AND WELLNESS PROGRAM, THE

NEW ENGLAND REGION HAS A KIT

YOUR ORGANIZATION CAN BORROW.

THE BOOK DISPLAYED, SOBRIETY, IS

ONE YOU CAN BORROW RELATED TO

ADDICTION.

THERE’S A LINK ON THE SLIDE.

YOU CAN GO TO FIND MORE

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS PROGRAM.

I’M GOING TO TURN THE

PRESENTATION OVER TO OUR

PRESENTER, MAUREEN CAVANAUGH

NOW.

MAUREEN RECEIVED A GRANT FROM

THE NEW ENGLAND REGION A COUPLE

YEARS AGO TO BROADEN THE REACH

OF HER SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER

SUPPORT NETWORK CALLED MAGNOLIA

NEW BEGINNINGS.

MAUREEN HAS FOUND NEW WAYS TO

PROVIDE EDUCATION AND SUPPORT

ABOUT SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

SHE RECENTLY PUBLISHED A MEMOIR

ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE OF BEING

THE MOTHER OF A DAUGHTER GOING

THROUGH SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

I’M GOING TO PASS THE BALL OVER

TO YOU.

>>I’M ALL SPENT I HAVE THE

BALL.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU, SUSAN

AND WELCOME, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKE THE TIME

TO JOIN US HERE TODAY AND VIEW

THIS WEBINAR.

AS WELL AS THANKS TO THE

NATIONAL NETWORK OF LIBRARIES OF

MEDICINE AND MY GOOD FRIEND

SUSAN HALPIN WHO HAS COMBINED AN

INCREDIBLE SET OF RESOURCES ON

THIS DISEASE AND I ENCOURAGE YOU

TO LOOK AT THE PAGES.

IT’S A RESOURCE I USE ALL THE

TIME.

I’M VERY APPRECIATIVE.

MY HOPE IS WHETHER YOU’RE A

LIBRARIAN, HEALTH CARE OR SOCIAL

WORKER OR CO-WORKER OF SOMEONE

AFFECTED, A PARENT OF A CHILD

THAT STRUGGLED WITH ADDITION

YOU’LL FIND THIS INFORMATION

HELPFUL AND INFORMATIVE AND HOPE

IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN AFFECTED AND

I WISH FOR YOU THAT THIS IS THE

CASE, YOU KNOW NO ONE WITH THIS

DISEASE.

I CAN’T IMAGINE THAT BUT YOU’LL

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OTHERS ON

ADDICTION AFTER LISTENING TO

THIS WEBINAR AND THE MANY OTHER

RESOURCES THAT THE NATIONAL

NETWORK OF LIBRARIES OF MEDICINE

HAVE.

AND TALK ABOUT HOW THIS AFFECTS

THE FAMILY AND HOPEFULLY REACH

OUT TO SOMEONE STILL SICK OR

SUFFERING IN THEIR FAMILIES.

YOU’RE KIND AND NON-JUDGMENTAL

WORDS CAN MAKE ALL THE

DIFFERENCE.

I’LL TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT

ME SO YOU KNOW WHO’S TALKING TO

YOU.

I AM THE PRESIDENT OF MAGNOLIA

NEW BEGINNINGS A NATIONAL

NON-PROFIT AND PEER SUPPORT

GROUP WITH OVER 20,000 MEMBERS

AND THE MAGNOLIA CONSULTING

SERVICES FOUND IN 2012 AND HOLD

A MASTER DEGREE IN PUBLIC HEALTH

AND RECEIVED TRAINING FROM THE

PARENT RECOVERY BASICS THE

TRAINING BODY THAT CERTIFIES ALL

THE RECOVERY COACHES IN

MASSACHUSETTS AND OF COURSE THE

COUNTRY BUT DEFINITELY

MASSACHUSETTS.

I’M TRAINED IN METHODS OF

INTERVENTION.

I’VE COMPLETED MANY TRAININGS

INCLUDING C.I., KRAFT FAMILY

THERAPY, OTHER TRAUMA INFORMED

CARE AND OTHER APPROACHES.

I’M A NATIONAL PUBLIC SPEAKER ON

THE PARENT PERSPECTIVE OF

ADDICTION AND THE AUTHOR OF IF

YOU LOVE ME, MOTHER’S JOURNEY

THROUGH HER DAUGHTER’S

ADDICTION.

IN THIS WEBINAR I’D LIKE TO

SHARE THE NEED FOR MY NEWEST

PROJECT CALLED FAMILY FOCUSSED

ADDICTION SUPPORT TRAINING,

FAST.

IT’S A FAMILY-FOCUSSED

INTERVENTION TO INCREASE

INFLUENCE IN THE LANGUAGE OF

RECOVERY AND EDUCATE ON

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

IF YOU ARE A PARENT, SIBLING,

MEMBER OF EXTENDED FAMILY OR

PROFESSIONAL WORKING IN THE

SETTING WITH INDIVIDUALS

RECOVERING FROM SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER OR CLOSELY INVOLVED,

BEING EDUCATED ON THE DISEASE

AND LEARNING STEP TO CARE FOR

YOURSELF IS ESSENTIAL TO BE A

HEALTHY, EMPATHETIC AND

EFFECTIVE SUPPORTER SOMETHING WE

OFTEN TAKE FOR GRANTED OURSELVES

GOING THROUGH THIS.

IF NONE OF THIS APPLIES TO YOU

NOT ONLY WOULD I LIKE TO MEET

YOU BUT EDUCATING YOURSELF IN

THE DISEASE IN THE FACE OF

LOSING 72,000 PEOPLE FROM

OVERDOSE EACH YEAR IS THE

GILLETTE STADIUM FULL FOOTBALL

SUNDAY AND 72,000 PEOPLE A YEAR

JUST FROM OVERDOSE.

IT’S PLAIN CITIZENSHIP TO KNOW

THESE THINGS.

THE OBJECTIVES OF THE COURSE IS

TO UNDERSTAND POSITIVE

COMMUNICATION STYLES, THE POWER

OF STIGMA AND HINDER RECOVERY.

WE WANT TO LEARN THE STAGES OF

CHANGE AND HOW THEY’RE NECESSARY

TO THE RECOVERY PROCESS AND

LEARN ABOUT RECOVERY CAPITAL AND

UNDERSTAND THE MULTIPLE PATHWAYS

AVAILABLE TO TREAT THE DISEASE

OF ADDICTION.

EXPLORE THE CONCEPT AND

COMPASSION AND THE IMPORTANCE OF

PUTTING THE OXYGEN MASK ON

YOURSELF FIRST TO CREATE

STRATEGIES CONDUCIVE TO YOUR OWN

MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH.

ADDITIONALLY, I’LL EXPLAIN THE

ROLE OF FAMILY RECOVERY AND

BOUNDARIES AND SHARE SOME OF MY

STORY TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF THE

REALITY OF THE FAMILY

PERSPECTIVE OF ADDICTION IF

YOU’RE NOT ALREADY AWARE.

THAT’S MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND ME

BEFORE ADDICTION.

THIS WAS A POINT IN TIME WHEN I

LOOKED AT ANY YOUNG PERSON

SOMEONE ADDICTED AND PERHAPS

HOMELESS AND SAID WHERE IS THIS

PERSON’S FAMILY.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED MY

BEAUTIFUL CHILD COULD BECOME ONE

OF THOSE VERY PEOPLE.

I COULD NOT IMAGINE FOR YEARS I

WOULD SEARCH FOR HER, BEG HER TO

GET INTO TREATMENT AND MAKE

MYSELF SICK WITH WORRY NEARLY

LOSING EVERYTHING THAT WAS

IMPORTANT TO ME IN THE PROCESS.

I WOULD HAVE NEVER ASKED THE

QUESTION SO CAVALIERLY HAD I

KNOWN HOW EASILY THIS COULD

HAPPEN IN MY OWN HOME TO MY

CHILD WHO I LOVED AND ADORED.

THE CHILD I WATCHED PLAY SOCCER

AND SOFTBALL AND SING IN THE

CHURCH CHOIR AND GRADUATE WITH

HONORS FROM HIGH SCHOOL I WAS

ONE OF MANY WHO ASKED WHERE DID

I GO WRONG.

SELF-BLAME AND SHAME ARE TIGHTLY

INTERWOVEN.

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDERS IS A

SIGMA TIEING CONDITION AND

FAMILY MEMBERS EXPERIENCE GUILT,

EMBARRASSMENT AND SHAME.

FAMILY MEMBERS MAY FEEL THEY’RE

UNABLE TO SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH

OTHER AND ISOLATE THEMSELVES AS

A DEFENSE TO SHAME.

STIGMA IS A KNOWN BARRIER AND

STOP FAMILY MEMBERS FROM SEEKING

SUPPORT OR INDIVIDUAL TREATMENT

FOR THEMSELVES OR LOVED ONES.

WITH YOU MUST STOP BLAMING AND

SHAMING.

THOUGH ENVIRONMENT MAY

CONTRIBUTE TO SOMEONE TURNING TO

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, THAT’S NOT

THE ONLY REASON.

A STUDY SHOWED BRAIN PHYSIOLOGY

PLAYS TWO MAJOR PARTS IN

ADDICTION.

FIRST, CERTAIN HEREDITARY TRAITS

CAN MAKE AN INDIVIDUAL MORE

VULNERABLE TO DEVELOPING A

PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE AFTER

EXPOSURE.

SECONDLY, PHYSICAL CHANGES BY

REPEATED EXPOSURE STRENGTHEN THE

DEPENDENCE BY DETERIORATING THE

FUNCTION FOR SELF-REGULATION.

IT AFFECTS THE PART OF THE BRAIN

THAT CONTROLS SELF-REGULATION

AND THE MOTIVATION TO REMAIN AB

STINT EVEN IN THE FACE OF

EXTREME SEQUENCES.

YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY WHY DON’T

THEY STOP.

IT’S NOT THAT EASY OR

PHYSIOLOGICALLY THAT EASY.

NO ONE SHOULD START USING DRUGS

AND THE CHOICE TO STOP MAY BE

MORE DIFFICULT OR NEARLY

IMPOSSIBLE DEPENDING ON AMONG

OTHER THINGS HEREDITARY AND

PHYSIOLOGY.

THOUGH MANY OF US ARE AWARE OF

THE FACT ADDICTION IS A DISEASE

THAT IS CATEGORIZED AS SUCH FOR

DECADES.

THERE’S STILL TOO OFTEN THE NEED

FOR THE FAMILY TO ASK WHAT THEY

DID TO CAUSE THE DISEASE AND

OFTEN BLAME AND SHAME THE PERSON

AFFECTED.

REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO

BELIEVE, IT’S A PROVEN FACT THAT

BLAME, SHAME AND STIGMA ONLY

HINDER A PERSON’S ABILITY TO GET

WELL.

PLEASE KNOW YOUR WORDS MATTER.

NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES AND

PEJORATIVE MATTER INCREASE A

PERSON NOT GETTING HELP.

YOU CANNOT SHAME INTO SOMEONE TO

GET HELP.

IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION ON

STIGMATIZING LANGUAGE READ

STUDIES FROM THE RESEARCH

RECOVERY INSTITUTE OR GO TO THE

DICTIONARY AT RECOVERY

ANSWERS.org.

IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF

THE PERSON WITH THE SUBSTANCE

USE DISORDER WE STOP SUGGESTING

ANYONE SHOULD HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

I HAD NO INTEREST IN ANYONE

TELLING MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER TO

HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

I’VE SEEN ENOUGH TO KNOW ROCK

BOTTOM HAS A BASEMENT AND TRUE

ROCK BOTTOM IS DEAD AND I WAS

NOT WILLING TO LET THAT HAPPEN

THOUGH I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO

PREVENT IT.

TOUGH LOVE WAS ANOTHER

SUGGESTION.

TO MANY IT INCLUDED CUTTING HER

OFF AND IN THE SPEAKING TO HER

AGAIN UNTIL SHE WAS WELL.

I WAS TOLD TO DETACH AND I COULD

DO IT WITH LOVE BUT DETACH FROM

THE PERSON I BROUGHT INTO THIS

WORLD.

TELL ME HOW SOMEONE DETACHES

FROM THEIR CHILD.

INSTEAD, I DID 100 UNPRODUCTIVE,

SOMETIMES SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS

INSANE AND VERY ILLEGAL THINGS

WHILE TRYING TO CONVINCE MY

DAUGHTER TO BEHAVE LIKE A

REASONABLE PERSON.

THE PROBLEM I HAD NO ONE TO ASK

FOR ADVICE.

I HAD A WONDERFUL THERAPIST BUT

SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AND IT WAS

LIKE WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO GO

THROUGH THE PAIN OF ADDICTION.

I NEEDED SOMEONE WITH EXPERIENCE

AND KNOWLEDGE TO HELP ME FIND A

WAY TO NOT ONLY DEAL WITH THE

HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE BUT SOMEONE I

COULD TRUST TO TEACH ME ABOUT

THE DISEASE AND HOW TO DEAL WITH

THAT.

WE’RE ALL MORE ALIKE THAN WE ARE

DIFFERENT.

OUR LOVED ONES AND FAMILY

MEMBERS OFTEN FEEL THEIR

PROTECTION.

MAY HAVE HEARD THEM SAY, NO ONE

UNDERSTANDS AND THOUGH OTHERS

HAVE RECOVERED THEY’RE THE

EXCEPTION UNABLE TO MAKE

RECOVERY POSSIBLE.

WE’RE UNABLE TO CONVINCE THEM

OTHERWISE AND WE ARE ALSO BUYING

INTO THE SAME TERMINAL

UNIQUENESS BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SO

MUCH ALIKE MANY OF THE SAME

TECHNIQUES, FAMILY SYSTEM

CHANGES AND MESSAGING CAN HELP

ANY FAMILY AS THEY’VE HELP

OTHERS.

IMAGINE IF INSTEAD A FAMILY’S

LOVED ONE RECEIVED TREATMENT

BEFORE THEY WERE WILLING TO GO,

THEY WERE EDUCATED ON THE

DISEASE, ON TREATMENT OPTIONS OF

ALL KINDS INCLUDING MEDICALLY

ASSISTED RECOVERY AND

COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

THEY LEARNED ABOUT HEALTHY

BOUNDARIES AND HOW TO MAINTAIN

THEM IN A LOVING AND CARING WAY

AND WORKED ON THEIR OWN RECOVERY

WELLNESS PLAN.

IMAGINE THEIR LOVED ONE COMING

BACK TO A FAMILY THAT UNDERSTOOD

THE DISEASE AND WORKED ON

HEALING THEMSELVES LEAVING

BEHIND THE FEAR ASSOCIATED WITH

THE FAMILY’S EXPERIENCE OF

ADDICTION AND SUPPORTING THEIR

LOVED ONE AND GETTING LIVES BACK

AT THE SAME TIME.

IT SHUNT BE MORE FAIRY TALE THAN

TRUTH.

UNFORTUNATELY IT RARELY HAPPENS

AND THE FAMILY REMAINS AS SICK

OR SICKER THAN THEIR LOVED ONE.

HEALING THE FAMILY SYSTEM IS

INTEGRAL IN HEALING THE

INDIVIDUAL WHO BENEATH THE

ADDICTION IS THE SAME LOVING

PERSON WE KNEW.

MY GOAL IS TO TRY TO CHANGE THAT

SCENARIO BY SPEAKING WITH THE

FAMILY PERSPECTIVE AND CALL OR

ALL TREATMENT CENTERS TO HAVE A

FAMILY PROGRAM TO DEAL WITH THE

FAMILY ALONG WITH THE PERSON

AFFECTED.

OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST FEW

YEARS, MANY OPPORTUNITIES HAVE

BEEN PRESENTED TO TELL MY STORY.

ONE IS THIS VIDEO.

A MAN NAMED JOE SAW MY DAUGHTER

AND I SPEAK AT RECOVERY FEST.

A SOBER MUSIC FESTIVAL IN

PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND.

I WAS THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR.

HE WENT HOME AND WROTE A

BEAUTIFUL SONG AND THEN ASKED US

TO BE PART OF THE VIDEO.

IT TELLS OUR STORY AND THAT OF

SO MANY OTHERS.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE WEREN’T ABLE

TO GET IT TO PLAY AS PART OF THE

WEBINAR BUT I ENCOURAGE YOU TO

COPY THE WEB ADDRESS AND WATCH

IT AFTER.

IT’S A TEAR-JERKER.

IF YOU LOVE ME, WHICH WAS

PUBLISHED IN 2018 AND WILL BE

RELEASED IN PAPERBACK NEXT YEAR

WAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE MY

JOURNEY.

THIS WAS A DIFFICULT DECISION.

NO ONE THAT GOES THROUGH THIS

IT’S DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO TALK

ABOUT IT BUT THE IDEA OF PUTTING

PROBABLY THE MOST HORRIFIC

EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE AND MY

DAUGHTER’S LIFE IN FOR THE WHOLE

WORLD TO READ WAS A DIFFICULT

DECISION.

THE REASON IS BECAUSE I KNEW THE

LONELINESS I FELT FIRST GOING

THROUGH THIS.

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

DOING ALL THE CRAZY THINGS I WAS

DOING.

I WAS DOING A LOT OF CRAZY

THINGS BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW ANN

BETTER.

I ALSO KNEW THAT WHEN PEOPLE

FOUND THIS BECOME THEY WOULD

CONNECT TO OTHER RESOURCES

BECAUSE THEY’RE IN THE BACK OF

THE BOOK AND I REALIZED SHORTLY

AFTER THE BOOK CAME OUT THAT I

WAS ALSO WRITING THIS SO OTHERS

CAN READ IT AND UNDERSTAND WHAT

IT’S LIKE FOR A FAMILY TO GO

THROUGH THIS AND WHO THIS

HAPPENS TO BECAUSE I FOUND THAT

THERE WAS THIS IDEA OF WHAT KIND

OF FAMILY THIS HAPPENS TO.

AND AS I WENT THROUGH IT AND MET

THOUSAND OF OTHER PEOPLE GOING

THROUGH IT, I REALIZED WHO THIS

HAPPENS TO IS ANYBODY AND THE

ONE COMMONALITY IS EVERYBODY

LOVE THEIR CHILDREN AND NOBODY

WANTS THIS TO HAPPEN.

SO MY STORY WAS WORTHY OF A BOCK

NOT BECAUSE I AM SO UNIQUE, BUT

INSTEAD BECAUSE MY STORY IS SO

VERY ORDINARY.

ACROSS THE COUNTRY, MY STORY

PLAYS OUT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE GOTTEN

HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF LETTERS

TELLING ME SO.

I LEARNED MY DAUGHTER USED

HEROIN BECAUSE SHE CAME TO ME

AND TOLD ME AND IMMEDIATELY GOT

HER INTO AN OUT-PATIENT PROGRAM

AND BELIEVED BECAUSE WE WERE SO

CLOSE SHE’S ALWAYS TELL ME AND I

UNDERESTIMATED THE POWER OF THE

DISEASE AND SHE BEGAN TO LIE TO

COVER UP HER USE.

I WAS UNEDUCATED AND BELIEVED

HER.

THE BOOK IS CALLED, IF YOU LOVE

ME.

BECAUSE AFTER MANY YEARS, 13

OVERDOSES OR MORE, 40 PLUS

TREATMENT ATTEMPTS, SHE CAME

HOME ONE NIGHT AFTER RELAPSING

AGAIN.

SHE HAD BEEN DOING VERY WELL AND

SOME WONDERFUL FRIENDS OF HERS

WHO WERE SOBER WENT OUT LOOKING

FOR HER WHEN SHE DISAPPEARED

FROM THE SOBER LIVING SHE WAS

LIVING IN AND THEY LOOKED FOR

HER UNTIL ABOUT 3:00 IN THE

MORNING WHEN THEY FINALLY FOUND

HER AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO COME

HOME BUT THEY CONVINCED HER.

SHE WAS ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR

LOOKING UP AT ME AND DISTRAUGHT

AND DISAPPOINTED IN HERSELF AND

DONE.

SHE LOOKED UP AT ME AND I SAID,

KATIE, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND

YOU’RE GOING TO DIE AND SHE

LOOKED UP AT ME AND SAID IF YOU

LOVE ME YOU’LL LET ME DIE.

IT WASN’T UNTIL THAT MOMENT THAT

I TRULY UNDERSTOOD HOW MUCH PAIN

SHE WAS IN.

I THOUGHT I DID.

I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT

WAS OBVIOUS AND ANYBODY COULD

SEE BUT NOT UNTIL THAT MOMENT

WHEN I REALIZED HOW DEEP THE

PAIN IS.

THANK GOD THIS IS NOT WHERE THE

STORY ENDS.

INSTEAD PART OF A FAMILIAR

THEORY CALLED THE STAGES OF

CHANGE.

THIS IS BY NO LEANS A LINEAR

PROCESS.

PATIENTS CAN ENTER AT ANY STAGES

AND DIGRESS TO PREVIOUS STAGES

AS A RESULT OF RELAPSE.

THE MODEL HAS DIFFERENT PEOPLE

AT DIFFERENT POINTS.

SOME EXPERIENCE SETBACKS AND

DROP BACK AND OTHERS MAY MOVE

FORWARD WITHOUT SETBACKS.

STAGE ONE IS THE

PRE-CONTEMPLATION STAGE.

THIS PERSON MAY EXPERIENCE

NEGATIVE ISSUES.

WE’VE KNOWN THAT PERSON.

IT SEEMS THEY’RE THE ONLY ONE

THAT DOESN’T KNOW THEY HAVE A

PROBLEM.

IN THIS STAGE THE CLIENT HAS

LITTLE OR NO MOTIVATION TO

CHANGE THE BEHAVIOR AS THEY

DON’T VIEW THEMSELVES AS VAGUE

PROBLEM.

WE’RE JUST HAVING A PROBLEM.

WE’RE JUST HAVING FUN.

I HEARD THAT.

STAGE TWO IS CALLED THE

CONTEMPLATION STAGE.

IN THE SECOND STAGE THE

INDIVIDUAL MAY REALIZE THE

BEHAVIOR IS PROBLEMATIC BUT

THEY’RE AMBIVALENT AND THE

PERSON MAY HAVE CONSIDERED

CHANGING BUT HAS NOT INVESTED

EFFORT INTO CHANGING THEIR

BEHAVIOR.

STAGE THREE IS THE PREPARATION

STAGE.

INDIVIDUAL HAS MADE A COMMITMENT

TO CHANGING THEIR BEHAVIOR AND

ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY FOR

DOING SO.

AND SOME INDIVIDUALS MAY HAVE

ATTEMPTED TO DEVELOP A PLAN FOR

STAGE BUT THEY HAVE NOT TAKEN

FORMAL ACTION.

I WOULD SAY THAT KATIE SPENT A

LONG TIME HOVERING BETWEEN TWO

AND THREE.

IN STAGE FOUR THE PERSON IS

ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN CHANGING

THEIR BEHAVIOR.

ANY ACTIVE EFFORT WOULD BE

ENOUGH TO CATEGORIZE THEM AS

BEING IN THIS STAGE.

MOST INDIVIDUALS IN THIS STAGE

UNDERSTAND THEY’RE RESPONSIBLE

FOR CHANGING THEIR BEHAVIOR.

AND OFTEN REQUIRES SOME FORM OF

OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE TO HELP THEM

REACH THEIR GOAL.

STAGE FIVE IS CALLED THE NANT

NANS STAGE.

IN THIS STAGE AN INDIVIDUAL HAS

DEVELOPED ASPECT OF EFFICIENCY

TO ALLOW THEM TO CHANGE THE

BEHAVIOR.

THEY MAY STILL BE WORKING ON

CHANGE BUT HAVE BECOME

PROFICIENT ENOUGH.

INDIVIDUALS MUST HAVE SIX MONTHS

IN ORDER TO QUALIFY OF SOBRIETY

TO QUALIFY FOR THIS STAGE AND

MAINTENANCE WILL GO ON THE REST

OF THEIR LIVES.

THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF THING

THAT GOES AWAY AS MOST ARE

AWARE.

SO IN THIS SLIDE YOU WILL SEE

RECOVERY MAY TAKE A LONG TIME.

THERE’S NO KNOWING HOW LONG IT

WILL TAKE BUT ON AVERAGE IT

TAKES ABOUT EIGHT YEARS.

THERE’S A LOT OF TIME SPENT IN

THESE FOUR TO FIVE YEARS OF

ATTEMPTS AND THE ONSET AND MAYBE

SOME HELP SEEKING.

FOUR TO FIVE TREATMENT CENTERS

IS TYPICAL AND THE LIFE TIME OF

VIGILANCE ON THE PART OF THE

PERSON AFFECTED.

THE GOOD NEWS IS AFTER FIVE

YEARS THE RATE OF REOCCURRENCE

GOES DOWN TO 15%.

AND IN AS MANY AS 66% OF PEOPLE

FULLY RECOVER FROM SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER DEPENDING ON THE DRUG.

TIME IS THE KEY.

THE LONGER AWAY FROM THE DRUGS

AND MORE EFFORT SPENT UP BUILD

HEALTHY LIFE THE GREATER

LIKELIHOOD SOMEONE WILL REMAIN

SOBER.

THERE’S 23.5 MILLION PEOPLE IN

RECOVERY.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE TIME IN

BETWEEN.

CREATE BOUNDARIES IN THE BEST

INTEREST OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY

AND UNIQUE TO EACH FAMILY

SYSTEM.

BOUNDARIES SHOULD BE OFFERED AS

CHOICES NOT PUNISHMENT.

WE SHOULDN’T BE ANGRY AT A

PERSON SUFFERING BUT WE ALSO

HAVE TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND

THEM BECAUSE THE EFFECTS OF THE

DRUG PREVENT OUR LOVED ONE FROM

MAKING HEALTHY DECISION.

ONE BOUNDARY WAS FOR MYSELF, YOU

MAY LIVE IN MY HOME UNLESS YOU

USE DRUGS.

THEN I WILL BE AVAILABLE TO HELP

YOU WHEN YOU’RE READY BUT YOU

CAN NO LONGER LIVE AT HOME.

IT WAS VERY PAINFUL TO DO THAT.

I WAS NOT THROWING HER OUT.

SHE MADE THE UNFORTUNATE CHOICE

NOT TO CHOOSE TREATMENT AND

THEREFORE COULDN’T LIVE IN THE

HOUSE.

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES ARE OFTEN

VERY DIFFICULT.

PEOPLE ARE OFTEN MORE LIKELY TO

CHANGE IF YOU OFFER REASONABLE

ALTERNATIVES.

MY STORY STARTED WHEN MY

DAUGHTER CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME

SHE TRIED HEAR HEROIN AND WAS

MORE WORRIED ABOUT HER ALCOHOL

USE.

THE SIGNS LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE

MOVING FROM ADOLESCENTS TO

ADULTHOOD.

TYPICAL COLLEGE STUDENT THERE

WAS NO CONVINCING TO GET KATIE

INTO TREATMENT.

SHE WAS ASKING FOR HELP.

BECAUSE WE WERE SO CLOSE I

THOUGHT SHE’D ALWAYS COME TO ME.

I UNDERESTIMATED THE POWER OF

ADDICTION.

WHEN SHE COMPLETED HER

OUT-PATIENT PROGRAM AND WENT

BACK TO USING AND COULDN’T STOP,

SHE INSTEAD STARTING TO LIE TO

ME AND HIDE HER USE.

I’M STILL LOOKING AT MY DAUGHTER

THROUGH THE LENS OF A PARENT

THAT WANTED TO BELIEVE THE BEST.

I THOUGHT WE WERE IN A PHASE AND

IT WOULD PASS.

UNFORTUNATELY I WAS WRONG.

THIS BEGAN A JOURNEY THAT WOULD

LEAD HER TO MORE THAN 40 ENTRIES

INTO TREATMENT AND 30 OVERDOSES.

THE SUPPORT, CONNECTION AND

EDUCATION WAS DIFFICULT TO FIND

AND I DESPERATELY NEEDED IT.

I KNEW NOTHING OF THE PHYSIOLOGY

OF ADDICTION.

I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE

COULDN’T STOP.

I THOUGHT SHE JUST WOULDN’T

STOP.

I HAD TERRIFIC PHYSICAL

BOUNDARIES, RULES.

I WOULD HELP HER BUT NOT WITH

MONEY AND NOT LIVE IN THE HOUSE

BUT I’D HELP HER GET IN

TREATMENT AND ASSISTED LIVING.

I WAS COMBING THE STREETS AND

CONTACTING DRUG DEALERS AND

THREATENING PEOPLE TO STAY AWAY

AND FOUNDER HER IN FOUR

DIFFERENT STATES.

I COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE

UNHEALTHY FOR LESS HELPFUL.

I FINALLY REACHED OUT TO A LOCAL

SUPPORT GROUP AND CREATED A

NETWORK OF MOTHERS EXPERIENCING

THE SAME HELL I WAS GOING

THROUGH AND ASKED FOR SUPPORT

BASED ON OTHER EXPERIENCES.

THE NETWORK GREW TO BE MAGNOLIA

NEW BEGINNINGS ONLINE PEER

SUPPORT WHICH CURRENTLY HAS OVER

IT HELPED BUT NOTHING FELT LIKE

IT WOULD MEAN ANYTHING UNTIL MY

DAT DAUGHTER WAS WELL AGAIN AND

HELD ON TO HOPE WITH FINGER

NAILS.

THE PARENT OF PSYCHIATRIC

ILLNESSES AND SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER IS A DISORDER WITH A

GOOD PROGNOSIS.

BETWEEN 42% AND 66 % OF PEOPLE

ACHIEVE FULL REMISSION THOUGH IT

CAN TAKE TIME TO REACH THAT

POINT.

THOUGH THE OLD STANDARD WAS

ATTENDING MEETING AS THE PATHWAY

OPIOID EPIDEMIC HAS CAUSED US TO

RETHINK THIS.

MEDICALLY ASSISTED RECOVERY,

PROVIDING ACCESS TO THE THREE

APPROVED METHODS OF MEDICALLY

ASSISTED TREATMENT, THREE

MEDICATIONS, IS THE MOST

CONTROVERSIAL AMONG THE OLD

PEOPLE OF THE OLD THOUGHTS BUT

AS ANY PERSON WHO HAS LOST

SOMEONE TO A HEROIN OVERDOSE

WILL TELL YOU, YOU CAN’T GET

WELL IF YOU’RE DEAD.

A MONTHLY SHOT WITH THERAPY IN

CONNECTION TO OTHER SUPPORT WAS

THE SAFETY NET THAT ALLOWED MY

DAUGHTER OVER TWO YEARS OF

SOBRIETY AND THAT CONTINUES

TODAY.

SADLY THE ROLLER COASTER ALL TOO

FAMILIAR TO A LOVED ONE OF A

PERSON WITH A SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER CAN BE PAINFUL.

THEY CALL ADDICTION A FAMILY

DISEASE WHILE ONE PERSON SUFFERS

OR MAY BE ADDICTED THE ENTIRE

FAMILY SUFFERS.

MANY PEOPLE WILL HAVE A

REOCCURRENCE OF SYMPTOMS OR STAY

STUCK IN A PARTICULAR STAGE.

THE OVERALL MODEL IS CONSISTENT

WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF MENTAL

HEALTH CLINICIANS WHO TREAT

MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS

INCLUDING SUBSTANCE ABUSE.

THE PROCESS OF LAPSING OR

RELAPSING OR REOCCURRENCE OF

SYMPTOMS IS COMMON IN

INDIVIDUALS SUFFERING FROM

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

IN SOME CASES RELAPSES ARE

ACCOMPANIED BY ATTITUDE SHIFTS

THAT RESULT IN THE PEOPLE

STARTING OVER AGAIN.

RECOVERY FROM A SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER IS RARELY ACCOMPLISHED

IN A LINEAR FASHION WITHOUT

SETBACKS.

YOU MAY HAVE HEARD YOU CAN’T

DRINK FROM AN EMPTY WELL, IT

COULDN’T BE MORE TRUE THAN

SUPPORTING SOMEONE WITH A

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER.

COMPASSION, FATIGUE IS DESIGNED

AS AN EXTREME STATE OF TENSION

AND PREOCCUPATION WITH THE

SUFFERING OF OTHERS TO THE

DEGREE SECONDARY TRAUMATIC

STRESS RESULTS IN THE INDIVIDUAL

PROVIDING AID AND INCREASED

ISOLATION, CHRONIC DAYTIME

FATIGUE AND POOR QUALITY OF

SLEEP AT NIGHT, EMOTIONAL

INSTABILITY, IRRITABILITY,

CRYING SPELLS AND EXPRESSED OR

OBSERVED APATHY TO RELATIONSHIPS

IN THE FUTURE.

USE OF SUBSTANCES IN SAYS TO

NUMB EMOTIONS INCLUDING FOOD

WHICH WAS MY DRUG OF CHOICE.

PERSISTENT REMUNERATION AND A

SENSE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

AND THE OUTCOME.

I BELIEVED IN ALL MY HEART I

NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING AND NO

ONE ELSE COULD.

UNEXPLAINED SYMPTOMS SUCH AS

GASTROINTESTINAL DISTRESS AND

PAIN OR LINGERING CAUSE.

ANOTHER HALLMARK OF COMPASSION

FATIGUE IS NOT BEING ABLE TO

TURN THOUGHTS OF THE PERSON

SUFFERING OFF, IF IT PROGRESSES

THOUGHTS FLASHBACKS AND

NIGHTMARES OF A SPECIFIC

TRAUMATIC INCIDENT.

YOU’RE EXPERIENCING MORE THAN

COMPASSION FATIGUE WHILE SOME

SYMPTOMS OF COMPASSION FATIGUE

AND PTSD OVERLAP, IT’S A

DISTINCTLY SEPARATE AND MORE

SERIOUS ANXIETY DISORDER THAT

REQUIRES PROFESSIONAL TREATMENT.

I’VE KNOWN TO A DEGREE OF THOSE

WHO SUFFERED PTSD AND HAD TO

RESUSCITATE THEIR OWN CHILDREN

AND SUFFER PTSD AFTER THAT.

YOU NEED TO FIND HELP FOR

YOURSELF AND INVEST IN RECOVERY

CAPITAL WE’LL DISCUSS NEXT.

IN THE U.S., BETTY FORD

INSTITUTE DEFINES RECOVERY AS A

VOLUNTARY LIFE TIME

CHARACTERIZED BY SOBRIETY,

PERSONAL HEALTH AND CITIZENSHIP.

THE CERTIFYING OF RECOVERY

COACHES STATES YOU’RE IN

RECOVERY WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE.

TWO ENDS OF THE SPECTRUM.

EITHER WAY, RECOVERY MAY LOOK

DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON THE

PERSON BUT THE COMMON THEME I

BELIEVE WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT

IN HEALTH AND LIFESTYLE.

RESEARCHERS AND CLINICIANS

DERIVED THE CONSTRUCT OF

RECOVERY CAPITAL IN ORDER TO

REFER SO THE RESOURCES NEEDED TO

INITIATE IN RECOVER FRY

SUBSTANCE ABUSE.

THE KEY COMPONENTS OF RECOVERY

CAPITAL IS DEFINED.

ARE SOCIAL CAPITAL, WHICH IS ALL

YOUR RESOURCES A PERSON HAS, ALL

THEIR RELATIONSHIPS AND

OBLIGATIONS THAT COME WITH THOSE

RELATIONSHIPS SUCH AS FAMILY

COMMITMENTS AND THE SECOND IS

PHYSICAL CAPITAL, TANGIBLE

ASSETS, MONEY, PROPERTY, THINGS

TO HELP YOU MOVE FROM ONE PLACE

TO THE NEXT TO GET AWAY FROM

FRIENDS OR NETWORKS THAT WERE

NOT HELPFUL OR TO AFFORD TO GO

INTO TREATMENT.

HUMAN CAPITAL.

YOUR SKILLS AND YOUR POSITIVE

HEALTH ASPIRATIONS AND GOALS.

PERSONAL RESOURCES THAT ENABLE

YOU TO CONTINUE ON YOUR RECOVERY

JOURNAL AND VALUES, BELIEFS AND

ATTITUDE THAT LEAD TO SOCIAL

CONFORMITY AND THE ABILITY TO

FIT INTO A DOMINANT AND SOCIAL

BEHAVIOR.

GOOD RECOVERY WELLNESS PLAN WILL

ADDRESS ALL FOUR ASPECTS OF

RECOVERY.

WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY.

ADDICTION IS A FAMILY DISEASE.

WE HEARD THAT BUT IS THERE HELP

TO THE FAMILY?

SEARCH FOR HELP FOR THE FAMILY

AND ASIDE FROM ALANON OR IF

YOU’RE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE IN

MASSACHUSETTS, WE’RE QUOTED THE

THREE Cs AND SENT ON OUR WAY.

YOU CAN’T CAUSE THE PROBLEM, YOU

CAN’T CONTROL THE PROBLEM, YOU

CAN’T CURE THE PROBLEM.

THAT’S GREAT.

NOT VERY HELPFUL BUT GOOD TO

KNOW.

THE TREATMENT CENTER MAY OFFER A

SHORT CLASS OR MEETING WITH THE

FAMILY THERAPIST.

MY DAUGHTER WALKED INTO

TREATMENT MORE THAN 40 TIMES.

SOME EXCELLENT AND WELL-KNOWN

TREATMENT CENTERS AND I WAS

OFFERED ONE.

ONE-OUR LONG CLASS AND TWO

FAMILY THERAPY SESSIONS IN

TOTAL.

WITH ANY LOOK A LOVED ONE WILL

ENTER TREATMENT, SPEND A MINIMUM

OF 21 DAYS AND GO ON TO AFTER

CARE OR LONGER TERM TREATMENT.

THE FAMILY ON THE OTHER HAND HAS

THE MOST IMPORTANT SUPPORT

SYSTEM OF THIS PERSON AND ALSO

MORE THAN LIKELY TO BE

TRAUMATIZED FINANCIALLY AND

EMOTIONALLY IS LEFT TO FEND FOR

THEMSELVES AND WITH LIMITED

RESOURCES.

THE FAMILY AND LOVED ONES BECOME

SICK OR SICKER THAN THE PERSON

GOING TO TREATMENT FOR ACTIVE

ADDICTION.

WE DEVELOP PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR

THAT DON’T WORK FOR OURSELVES OR

THE PERSON NEWLY IN RECOVERY.

OUR WORLD IS OFTEN TURNED

UPSIDE-DOWN.

ADDICTION IS A FAMILY DISEASE

BECAUSE EVERYONE FEELS THE PAIN

AND SUFFERS THE CONSEQUENCES YET

ONLY ONE PERSON RECEIVES

TREATMENT AND SENDS THEM BACK TO

THE FAMILY DYNAMIC THAT HAS NOT

BEEN TREATED UNLESS THEY SOUGHT

OUT INFORMATION AT THE TIME THEY

TAKE THE NEW BREATHS OF RELIEF

OR WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO

DROP IF THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH

THIS MORE THAN ONCE.

THE OLD HABITS AND PATTERNS HAVE

NOT BEEN ADDRESSED.

IF YOU GET CLEAR INFORMATION ON

HOW TO BETTER COMMUNICATE OR ANY

REAL INFORMATION ON THE

PHYSIOLOGY OF ADDICTION OR THE

STAGES OF CHANGE.

WE ARE ALL IN SUCH A PANIC WITH

THE PERSON OUR OWN NEEDS ARE NOT

GIVEN A SECOND THOUGHT.

I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE IDEA

TO COMMON PRACTICE OF A FAMILY

RECOVERY COACH.

A FAMILY RECOVERY COACH

ENCOURAGES AND MOTIVATES.

WHO WILL SIT DOWN WITH THE

FAMILY AND OFFER RESOURCES IN

EDUCATION.

FAMILY RECOVERY COACH NOT A

THERAPIST OR CLINICIAN THOUGH

THEY MAY BE IF THEY TAKE THE

TRAINING BUT THEY ARE NOT THAT

AS A RULE.

I HAD A WONDERFUL THERAPIST WHEN

I WAS GOING THROUGH THIS BUT SHE

WASN’T INFORMED ON ADDICTION OR

ABLE TO EMPATHIZE WITH

FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE.

SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIND

RESOURCES AND WANTED TO HELP AND

DOES JUST NOT WITH THIS

PARTICULAR ALL-CONSUMING PART OF

MY LIFE.

FAST IS THE FAMILY FOCUSSED

ADDICTION SUPPORT TRAINING IS A

COMPILATION OF MANY TRAINING ON

METHODS OF RESPONSE OF SUBSTANCE

USE DISORDER AND MY EXPERIENCE.

MY EXPERIENCE WAS THE MOST

DIFFICULT LEARNING PROCESS OF

ALL.

I’D LIKE OTHERS TO BENEFIT FROM

ALL THAT KNOWLEDGE.

MY INTENT IS TO TRAIN OTHERS IN

THIS METHOD AND ENLIST TREATMENT

CENTERS TO INCLUDE FAMILIES IN

THE RECOVERY PROCESS.

WE MATTER AND WE NEED HELP.

THE CURRICULUM IS CURRENTLY

BEING DEVELOPED WITH THE GOAL OF

CERTIFICATION EARLY NEXT YEAR.

I FEEL STRONGLY THAT THIS IS A

HUGE GAP THAT NEEDS TO BE

ADDRESSED.

TODAY KATIE CELEBRATES MORE THAN

TWO YEARS OF SOBRIETY AND I

CONTINUE TO DO THIS WORK IN ALL

THOSE WE LOVED AND HOPE TO TURN

THE TIDE.

DURING THE WORSE PERIOD OF MY

DAUGHTER’S ADDICTION I CREATED

MAGNOLIA NEW BEGINNINGS TO

CREATE AN ONLINE COMMUNITY AND

RAISE FUNDS FOR SOBER LIVING FOR

THE MOTIVATED INDIVIDUALS

FINANCIALLY UNABLE TO DO SO

THEMSELVES TO CONTINUE THEIR

RECOVERY IN A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE

ENVIRONMENT.

WE’LL PROBABLY GIVE OUT ABOUT 60

OR 70 SCHOLARSHIPS THIS YEAR IN

THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS.

UNFORTUNATELY IT’S NOT COVERED

BY MASS HEALTH SO PEOPLE CAN GO

TO TREATMENT IN MASSACHUSETTS.

AND THEN COME OUT AND HAVE TO GO

BACK TO THE SAME UNSAFE OR

DANGEROUS SITUATIONS THEY WERE

IN BEFORE.

IN ORDER TO ADDRESS THE LACK OF

FAMILY SUPPORT AND OPEN UP THE

DISCUSSION ON WHAT A FAMILY GOES

THROUGH I OFFER TRAINING, SPEAK,

FAMILY COACHING AND INTERVENTION

AND CONSULTING.

FOR MAGNOLIA RECOVERY AND

CONSULTING SERVICES.

YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN TO THE

COLLATERAL DAMAGE PODCAST WHERE

I HAVE MANY EXPERTS IN THE FIELD

AND TALK TO THEM AND HOPEFULLY

INFORM OTHER PEOPLE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR

LISTENING.

I KNOW WE’RE GOING TO LEAVE SOME

TIME OPEN FOR QUESTIONS.

I DON’T KNOW WHETHER SUSAN WILL

GIVE ME THE BALL BACK OR WHEN

SHE’S GOING TO TAKE THE BALL.

>>THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE

INFORMATION, MAUREEN.

I GUESS I’LL TAKE THE BALL BACK

HERE.

I GUESS WE’D LIKE TO OPEN THIS

UP NOW TO QUESTIONS.

FOR SOME REASON I’M HAVING

TROUBLE WITH THE BALL TODAY.

MAUREEN, IF YOU COULD ADVANCE

THE SLIDE IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION

AND COULD PUT THEM IN THE CHAT

BOX AND WHILE WE’RE WAITING FOR

OTHERS HAVE QUESTIONS, I HAVE A

QUESTION.

I WOULD WONDERING MAUREEN, HOW

DID YOU FINALLY COME TO

UNDERSTAND THAT ADDICTION IS A

DISEASE?

I GUESS THE REASON WHY I ASK

THAT IS I HAPPEN TO SEE A

PRESENTATION ABOUT THE

PHYSIOLOGY OF ADDICTION AND SHE

GAVE SOME CLEAR EVIDENCE-BASED

INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS

TO THE BRAIN AND THAT IS WHEN I

DISCOVERED THIS IS A DISEASE

BECAUSE I ALSO LIVED WITH

ADDICTION IN MY FAMILY AND

WONDERING IF YOU CAN SPEAK TO

THAT.

>>I ALSO HEARD THAT

PRESENTATION AND NOW PROBABLY

HEARD IT ABOUT 10 TIMES BECAUSE

I ADORE HER.

AND I HEARD DR. KELLY SPEAK

ABOUT ADDICTION.

IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY

SHE SAID IT.

STILL EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO HER

TALK I LEARN SOMETHING NEW.

SHE’S VERY GENEROUS WITH

EVERYTHING SHE DOES BUT YOU CAN

SEE HER ON YOUTUBE, P-O-T-E-E, I

THINK.

>>I PUT HER LINK IN THE CHAT

BOX.

>>SHE HAS YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND

HAS EASY, CONCISE, EASY TO

UNDERSTOOD BUT SOMETHING

EYE-OPENING.

I GUESS I KNEW IT WAS A DISEASE

BUT DID I REALLY BELIEVE IT WAS

A DISEASE?

I’M IN THE SURE.

THEN I HEARD HER TALK AND HEARD

DR. KELLY TALK AND THEY

EXPLAINED HOW HEROIN AFFECTS THE

DOPAMINE LEVELS.

HOW A PERSON TAKES A LONG TIME

TO GET BACK TO NORMAL EVEN AFTER

THEY STOP AND WHAT PARTS OF THE

BRAIN ARE EFFECTED BY ADDICTION.

SHE’S A DOCTOR BUT TALKS ABOUT

IT LIKE SHE’S NOT LIKE A DOCTOR.

LIKE A PERSON.

SO FOR EVERYBODY THAT’S NOT A

DOCTOR AND YOU DON’T SPEAK IN

MEDICAL JARGON, SHE OPENED MY

EYES UP TO IT TOO.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS PIVOTAL AS I

WAS LISTENING TO HER.

>>OKAY.

I SEE A COUPLE QUESTIONS IN THE

CHAT BOX SO HERE’S A QUESTION.

I’M IN COLORADO.

HOW CAN I START A GROUP HERE.

I THINK SHE MEANS THE MAGNOLIA.

>>SHE CAN CONTACT ME.

WE HAVE A COUPLE PEOPLE IN

COLORADO WANTING TO START A

GROUP.

YOU WOULDN’T BE ALONE.

THAT’S FOR SURE.

WE HAVE A MAIN GROUP OR NATIONAL

GROUP WE CALL IT.

THAT HAS ABOUT 3,000 PEOPLE IN

IT.

SO A LOT OF THE STATES WHERE

THERE ISN’T A SPECIFIC GROUP, WE

HAVE THE NATIONAL GROUP BUT

THERE’S PLENTY OF PEOPLE IN

COLORADO THAT WOULD LOVE TO

JOIN.

JUST CONTACT ME.

I WILL PUT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS

IN THE CHAT BOX IN A SECOND.

THERE’S A SECOND QUESTION THAT

SAYS CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE MORE

EXAMPLES OF BOUNDARIES AS A

CHOICE AND NOT A PUNISHMENT.

>>WHEN YOU WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR

SOMEBODY IN MY CASE I WANTED HER

TO STOP USING HEROIN, YOU ARE

NOT ANGRY AT THEM.

I WAS NEVER TRYING TO PUNISH HER

OR MAD AT HER.

I JUST WANTED HER TO STICK

AROUND.

I DIDN’T WANT HER TO KILL

HERSELF.

SO I OFFERED CHOICES TO PREVENT

ME FROM ENABLING HER AND WOULD

ALSO BE SEEN AS A CHOICE.

I WOULDN’T GIVE HER MONEY BUT IF

SHE MET ME I’D BUY HER

BREAKFAST.

THERE’S LOTS OF TIMES WHERE SHE

WANTED TO COME HOME BUT I

COULDN’T HAVE HER IN MY HOUSE IF

SHE WAS USING DRUG AND BELIEVED

THIS AS A WHOLE FAMILY WAS

PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST

IMPORTANT THINGS IS THE WHOLE

FAMILY HAD TO AGREE ON THIS.

THESE ARE THE THINGS WE’LL DO

FOR YOU AND YOU’RE ALWAYS

WELCOME HOME, YOU’RE JUST NOT

WELCOME HOME WHEN YOU’RE USING

DRUGS.

IF YOU WANT TO COME HOME AND YOU

CAN’T STOP, I’LL DO ANYTHING I

CAN TO HELP YOU.

BUT THAT WAS ONE LINE IN THE

SAND, NO DRUGS.

SO THAT WAS NOT PUNISHMENT BY

ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.

IT WAS BOUNDARIES.

>>SO A COUPLE PEOPLE HAVE ASKED

ONE WAS LISTENING ON HER PHONE

AND DIDN’T GET TO SEE ANY SLIDES

AND ANOTHER PERSON WOULD LIKE A

MEMBER HAVE LIKE A MEMBER OF

THEIR FAMILY TO TO HEAR THIS SO

ALL WHO REGISTERED FOR THE

WEBINAR WILL RECEIVE A RECORDING

LINK AS WELL AS THE RESOURCES

THAT HAVE BEEN MENTIONED IN THE

WEBINAR.

SO I’LL EVEN TAKE THE RESOURCES

FA THAT ARE IN THE CHAT BOX AND

YOU WILL HAVE ACCESS TO THAT

TOO.

IT TAKES ME ABOUT A WEEK TO GET

THE LINK OUT TO YOU BECAUSE I

NEED TO COMBINE THE CAPTIONING

FILES WITH THE RECORDING.

AS LONG AS YOU’RE ON THE LIST,

YOU’LL BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT

AND HAVE ACCESS TO THE SLIDES

AND LINK TO ALL THE RESOURCES.

SO I’M JUST TRYING TO SEE IF

THERE ARE ANY MORE QUESTIONS

HERE BEFORE WE CLOSE.

PEOPLE ARE SAYING THANK YOU.

I’LL JUST KEEP THAT OPEN AND I

JUST WANTED TO MENTION TO OUR

AUDIENCE, THAT WELL, FIRST, LET

ME THANK MAUREEN.

I SO APPRECIATE YOU SHARING YOUR

STORY AND ALSO THE RESOURCES

YOU’RE INVOLVED IN.

THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE PODCAST

ANYONE CAN WATCH AND BUY HER

BOOK OFF AMAZON AND BE PART OF

THE MAGNOLIA NEW BEGINNINGS

SUPPORT GROUP WHICH IS ALL

ONLINE.

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED

TODAY.

PLEASE GIVE US YOUR FEEDBACK.

I ALSO WANTED TO MENTION SO

ACTUALLY, LET ME PUT THE

EVALUATION LINK AND CODE AND THE

LINK SHOULD POP UP AUTOMATICALLY

BUT I’LL GIVE YOU THE CODE HERE.

SO THAT’S IN THE CHAT BOX.

WE HAVE A COUPLE OF OTHER

WEBINARS COMING UP.

THE AUTHOR OF BEAUTIFUL BOY AND

CLEAN, WILL BE PRESENTING SOME

OF HIS RESEARCH WORK TO US

OCTOBER 9 FROM 3:00 TO 4:00 AND

AGAIN IF THE TIME IS NOT

CONVENIENT FOR YOU, IF YOU

REGISTER, YOU WILL BE ON THE

E-MAIL LIST TO GET THE WEBINAR

RECORDING AND THE MATERIALS.

OF COURSE, WE’D LOVE YOU TO COME

LIVE TO THE WEBINAR BECAUSE

YOU’LL BE ABLE TO ASK DAVID

QUESTIONS.

IN DECEMBER, WE HAVE THE

PRESIDENT OF THE PARTNERSHIP FOR

DRUG FREE KIDS.

THEY HAVE TONS OF FREE ONLINE

RESOURCES FOR ENGAGING PARENTS

AND CAREGIVERS IN SUBSTANCE USE

DISORDER PREVENTION AND

RECOVERY.

THAT’S DECEMBER 5.

AND THEN WE HAVE A SPEAKER FROM

A DOCUMENTARY FILM BEYOND THE

WALLS WHO IS GOING TO BE TALKING

ABOUT HIS WORK WITH THOSE

RETURNING TO THE COMMUNITY AFTER

SPENDING TIME IN JAIL FOR

SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER RELATED

CRIMES AND HE’S DOING A LOT OF

WORK WITH SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER

PREVENTION AND EDUCATION AS

WELL.

SO THAT WEBINAR IS COMING UP ON

JANUARY 30.

LET ME SEE IF THERE ARE ANY

OTHER QUESTIONS.

I DON’T SEE ANY MORE.

SO AGAIN, MAUREEN, THANK YOU

VERY MUCH FOR THE INFORMATION.

WE’LL MAKE SURE YOUR E-MAIL

ADDRESS IS PART OF THE RESOURCES

AS WELL.

>>WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>>THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR

ATTENDING.

HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE

AFTERNOON. okay I think we’re going to get started
good afternoon everyone welcome to today’s webinar Family Focused
Addiction Support Training: Getting Your Life Back. We’re really pleased that you’re joining us here today. I’m your host Susan Halpin. I’m the
Education and Outreach Coordinator for the New England Region of the National
Network of Libraries of Medicine. My office is located at the University of
Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester, Massachusetts. Let’s get an
idea of who’s joining us today. While I’m advancing on to the next slide
if you would like to introduce yourself using the chat box
tell us your name where you’re located and if you would like to tell us what
you’re looking to learn today that would be great as well. So just a few things
details about today’s webinar, closed captioning is available and the
information to get the captioning is in the chat box, you can click on the link.
This webinar is being recorded and you will receive an email with a link to the
recording in about a week. You will have an opportunity to ask questions to our
presenter Maureen Cavanaugh during the last 15 minutes or so of the webinar so
if you hear something or see something that you’d like to ask about jot it down
and we’ll give you time at the end. You’ll be using the chat box and you can
chat your questions using the “chat all participants” send to option. Medical Librarians can
receive one continuing education credit for attending this webinar.
You just have to complete an evaluation at the end of the webinar to receive the
credits and that evaluation should automatically appear after you leave the
WebEx session and the last slide will have the enrollment code that you’ll
need to to get the CEUs. It’s actually listed on this slide is FAM1920. I wish that we could offer CEU credits to other people. Unfortunately we
don’t have that set up at the moment. Also too we would love to have your
feedback about the webinar, so even if you’re not receiving CEU credit please
consider completing the evaluation so we can know how to improve our training. For
those of you who don’t know or are not familiar with the National Library of
Medicine I’m just going to take a couple of minutes to explain who we are and the
health and medical outreach program we have, The NLM is a physical library
and it’s located on the campus of the National Institute of Health in Bethesda
Maryland. It’s the largest biomedical library in
the world and one of the federal government’s largest providers of
digital content. All of the information from the National Library of Medicine is
available online and can be accessed by anyone. There’s no
cost to use any of our online resources, databases, tools or websites. The mission
of the NLM is to advance the progress of medicine and improve public health by
making health and medical information accessible to everyone. The NLM carries
out this mission through its national network that has
more than 7,500 members across the United States. This webinar is presented
through the New England Region. There are seven other regions across the country
that provide similar outreach with online health and medical information
training webinars, or ive training, and also grant funding. Those who use our
resources form our network. Network members come from many different
backgrounds and professions. For example those registered for this webinar are
librarians, health care providers, public health professionals, educators, students
researchers, first responders, and members of the general public. Anyone can join
the network and receive information about the training we offer. Everything
the NLM offers is free. The NLM also provides grant funding to organizations
that further the NLM mission. Over the past few years the New England Region
has funded over a one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for substance use
disorder-related programs and projects in New England. Last year the network
provided training to about 77,000 people. The NLM provides extent an extensive
amount of information about how to prevent and treat substance use disorder.
It provides a wide variety of online addiction prevention and treatment
information. NLM resources do not contain any advertising they’re written by
medical experts and they’re updated on a regular basis. You don’t need an account
to use them. This slide shows two NLM sites that are a good place to start if
you’re looking for evidence-based health and medical information about substance
use disorder. On the left is a picture of the MedlinePlus.gov page you would navigate to if you were to search for the term “opioid addiction.”
MedlinePlus is the NLM consumer health website. On the right, is a picture of the
opioid addiction and treatment portal. When you receive the recording link for
this webinar you’ll also receive links to all of the substance use disorder
resources that are mentioned in this webinar. I just wanted to point out
just a couple of candy sites and tools and and then we’ll get started with
Maureen’s presentation. Pillbox is one of NLM’s tools that
provides data and images for prescription over-the-counter
homeopathic and veterinary pills marketed in the US. This website helps
you identify a pill if you were to find one and didn’t know what it was. The site
contains information about pills such as how they look, their active and
inactive ingredients and many other criteri. If your organization provides
health and wellness programming, The New England Region has book-club kits your
organization can borrow. The book pictured in this slide, ” Sobriety” is one
of the kits that you can borrow that is related to addiction. There’s a link
on this slide you can go to, to find out more information about this program I’m
going to turn the presentation over to our presenter Maureen Cavanaugh now.
Maureen received a grant from the New England Region a couple of years ago to
broaden the reach of her substance use disorder support network called Magnolia
New Beginnings. Maureen has continued to find new ways
to provide education and support about substance use disorder. She recently
published a memoir about her experience of being the mother
of a daughter of going through substance use disorder. Maureen I’m going to pass
the ball over to you if I can find you in my list of
participants. There we go. Okay, all right I think you should be all set
now. I got the ball, all right, well
I want to thank you Susan and welcome everybody. Thank you all for taking
the time to join us here today and view this webinar,as well as thanks to the
National Network of Libraries of Medicine, and of course, my good friend
Susan Halpin who has really compiled a combined and an incredible set of
resources on this disease and I would encourage anybody to go and really take
a look at those pages because it’s a resource that I use all the time and
I’m very appreciative of. My hope is that whether you are a librarian, a health
care or social worker or a co-worker of someone affected, parent of a child that
is struggling with addiction, you will find this information to be helpful and
informative. I also hope that if you haven’t been affected and I so wish
that, that this is the case, that you know no one with this
disease. I don’t, I can’t imagine that, but it is that you will educate yourself and
others on addiction after listening to this webinar, and to the many other
resources that the national network of libraries of medicine has and on addiction and about how this disease affects the family. Hopefully you will reach out to someone who
is still sick or suffering and their families, your kind and non-judgmental
words can make all the difference. Let me tell you a little bit about me so you
know who’s talking to you. I am the president of Magnolia New Beginnings
a national nonprofit and peer support group with over 25,000 members and
Magnolia Recovery Consulting Services both founded in 2012 I hold a master’s
degree in education, and a master’s in public administration.
I’m a certified trainer for see CARS Recovery Coach Academy and the Parent
Recovery Basics and that’s the training body that certifies all the recovery
coaches in Massachusetts and across the country but definitely Massachusetts. I’m
an interventionist-trained in the approved CFI metho,d as well as the Arise
method of intervention. I’ve completed many trainings including MI CBT
crafts family therapy, other trauma-informed care and other
behavioral approaches. I’m a national public speaker on the parent perspective
of addiction and the author of If You Love Me: A Mother’s Journey Through Her
Daughter’s Opioid Addiction, published by Henry Holt Macmillan in 2018. In this
webinar I’d like to share with you the need for my newest project which I call
Family-Focused Addiction Support Training or FFAST. FFAST is a family
focused intervention designed to define and increase fluency in the language of
recovery educate on substance use disorder and provide resources for
self-care for those affected by another substance use disorder. If you are a
parent, a sibling, a member of the extended family or even a professional
working in a setting with individuals recovering from substance use disorder
or in any way closely involved being educated on the disease. Learning the
steps to care for yourself is essential if you want to be a healthy, empathetic
and effective supporter, Something we often take for granted is ourselve,s when
we’re going through this. If none of those things apply to you, not only would
I like to meet you, but I’ll say educating yourself on the disease in the
face of losing 72,000 people from an overdose each year. That’s the Gillette
Stadium completely full on a football Sunday. 72 thousand people a year just from
overdose, it’s clean, just good citizenship to know these things. The
objectives of this course is to understand positive communication styles
the power of stigma- held blame and shame in your recovery we want to learn
the stages of change and how they are necessary to the recovery process. Learn
about recovery and recovery capital and understand the multiple
pathways that are available to treat the disease of addiction. Explore the concept
of compassion fatigue and importance of putting the oxygen mask on yourself
first, to create strategies conducive to your own mental and physical health.
Additionally, I will explain the role in importance of family recovery talk about
healthy family boundaries and share some of my story in order to give you an idea
of the reality of the family perspective of addiction if you’re not
idea where that is my beautiful child and that is made before addiction.
There was a point in time when I might have looked at any young person someone
obviously addicted and perhaps homeless and asked where is this person’s family
I never would have imagined that my beautiful child could become one of
those very people. I could not imagine that for years I would search for her
beg her to get into treatment and would make myself sick with worry nearly
losing everything that was important to me in the process. I would have never
asked the question so cavalierly had I known how easily this could happen in my
own home to my child who I loved and adored. The child I watched play soccer
and softball sing in the church choir and graduate with honors from high
school. I was one of many that asked where did I go wrong?
self blame and shame are tightly interwoven with addiction. Substance use
disorder is one of the most stigmatizing health conditions in the world and
family members often also experience feelings of guilt, embarrassment and
shame related to a loved one addicted to substances. Family members may not want
to or feel they are unable to share their experiences with others and
isolate themselves as a defense to shame. Stigma is a known barrier to treatment
and can stop family members from seeking outside support or individual treatment
for themselves or their loved ones. We must stop blaming and shaming. The truth
is that although environment may contribute to someone turning to drugs
and alcoho,l that is certainly not the only reason.
A study by Hazelton showed that brain physiology plays two major parts
in addiction. First certain hereditary traits can make an individual
more vulnerable to developing a physical dependence after exposure. Secondly
physical changes caused by repeated exposure strengthen the dependence by
deteriorating brain function critical to self regulation. Addiction affects the
very part of the brain that controls self-regulation.
In the motivation to remain abstinent even in the face of extreme consequences
that’s why you will hear people say why don’t they just stop. It’s not that easy
and it’s that there’s a lot of physiology that is not that isn’t easy. So yes no one should
start using drugs, but mistakes are made and often depending on the many factors
the choice to stop may be more difficult or nearly impossible depending
on amongst other things heredity and physiology. Even though many of us are
aware of the fact that addiction is a disease that has been categorized as
such for decades, there is still all too often the need for the family to ask
what they did, to cause the disease and often blame and shame the
person affected. Regardless of what you choose to believe, it is a proven fact
that blame, shame and stigma only hinder in a person’s ability to get well. Please
know that your words matter, negative stereotypes and pejorative language
increase the likelihood that a person will not get help. You cannot shame
someone into getting help. If you’d like more information on stigmatizing
language and how it affects recovery you can read studies by Dr.John Kelly from
the Research Recovery Institute. Go to the addiction area at Recoveryanswers.org. It is in the best interest of the person
with a substance use disorder that we stop suggesting anyone should hit
rock-bottom. I had no interest in anyone telling me
to let my beautiful daughter hit rock bottom. I know I have seen enough to know
that rock bottom always has a basement and true rock bottom seemed to be “dead”
and I was not willing to let that happen, although I didn’t know what to do to
prevent it either. Tough love was another suggestion too manysuggested it to
me, that included cutting her off and not speaking to her again until she was well.
I was told to detach, I could do it with love, but I should detach from the person
I brought into this world. Tell me please how exactly
someone detaches from their child? Iinstead I did a hundred unproductive
sometime seriously, dangerous, insane and once or twice, very illegal things while
I was trying to convince my daughter to behave like a reasonable person. Ironic, I
know the problem was that I had no one I could ask for advice. I had a wonderful
therapist, but she didn’t understand and it was like to go
through the pain of addiction I needed someone with experience and knowledge to help me find a way to not only deal with horrible nightmare I was going through,
but someone I could trust to teach me about the disease and how to deal with
that, We are all way more alike than we are different. Our loved ones and family
members often feel unique in their addiction. You may have heard them say
that no one understands and even though others have recovered they are the
exception unable to make recovery possible we are unable to convince them
otherwise and we are also buying into that same terminal uniqueness because we are all so much alike many of the same techniques family system changes and
messaging can help any family if they have helped many others. Maja’s if
instead well a family’s loved one received treatment or even before they
were willing to go, they were educated on the disease on treatment options of all
kinds including Medically Assisted Recovery on communication skills
we learned about the healthy boundaries and how to maintain them in a loving and
caring way, and worked on creating your own recovery and wellness plan for their
family imagine their loved one coming back to a family that understood the
disease and has worked on healing themselves leaving behind the anger and
fear associated with the family’s experience of addiction and finding more
productive and helpful ways to support their loved one and try to get their
lives back at the same time. This shouldn’t be more fairytale than truth,
unfortunately this rarely happens. The family remains as sick or sicker
than their loved one. Healing the family system is integral in healing the
individual who beneath the addiction is the same loving person we know. My goal
is to try to change that scenario by speaking about the family perspective
and calling for all treatment centers to have a family program that helps to deal
with the family along with the person affected. Over the course of the last few
years many opportunities have been presented to tell my story.
One is this video. A man named Joe Mathy saw my daughter and I speak at a
recovery fest, a sober music festival that took place in Providence Rhode
Island and I was that I was the executive director he went home and
wrote a beautiful song and then asked us to be part of the video. It tells our
story and that of so many others unfortunately we weren’t able to get it
to play as part of this webinar, but I encourage you to copy the web address
and watch it after the webinar. It’s a tearjerker. If You Love Me, which was published by
Henry Holt Macmillan in 2018, then will be released in paperback next year, was
another opportunity to share my my journey. This was a difficult, excuse
me, this is a difficult decision. No one that goes through this it’s difficult
enough to talk about it, but the idea of putting probably the most horrific
experience of my life and my daughter’s life in down for the whole world to read
was a very difficult decision. The reason why I did it is because I knew
the loneliness that I felt when I was first going through this. I thought I was
the only one doing all of the crazy things I was doing. I was doing a lot of
crazy things because I didn’t know any better.
I also knew that when people found this book they would connect to other
resources, because they’re in the back of the book along with feeling not so alone.
But I realized shortly after the book came out that I was also writing this so
that others could read it and understand what it’s like for a family to go
through this and who this happens to because because I found that there was
this idea of what kind of family this happens to and as I went through it and
I meant thousands of other people that were going through it. I realized that
who this happens to is anybody and the one commonality is that everybody loves
their children and nobody wants this to happen, so my story was worthy of a book
not because I am so unique but instead because my story is so very ordinary.
Across the country my story plays out over and over again. I know because I’ve
gotten hundreds and hundreds of letters telling me. So I learned that my daughter
had used heroin because she came to me and told me. I immediately got her into
an outpatient program and believed because we were so close, she would
always tell me if she was struggling. I underestimated the power of the disease
and because she couldn’t stop, began to lie and cover up her use, I was
uneducated and I believed her. The book is called “If you love me” because after
many years, 13 overdoses, and more 40-plus treatment attempts she came home one
night after relapsing again, she had been doing very well, and some wonderful
friends of hers on who were sober went out looking for her when she disappeared
from the sober living she was living in and they looked for her
until about 3 o’clock in the morning when they finally found her and she
didn’t really want to come home, but they convinced her. She came in,
was on my kitchen floor sitting up sitting looking up at me totally
distraught disappointed in herself just pretty much done and she looked
up at me and I told her two things she already knew. I said Katie I love you so
much and you’re going to die and she looked up at me and said “if you love me
you’ll let me die.” It wasn’t until that moment that I truly understood how much
pain she was in. I thought I did. I thought it was something that was
obvious and I could and anybody could see, but it was not until that moment
when I realized how deep the pain was. Thank God this is not where the story
ends, but instead of part of a familiar theory of addiction called
the Stages of Change. This is by no means a linear process. Individuals
may enter treatment at any point along the model and he said any of the stages
and they actually digress to previous stages as a result of relapse. The model
assumes that different people start at different points in the process. Some may
experience setbacks and drop back, whereas others may move forward without
setbacks. Stage one as you can see, it is a pre
contemplation stage in this stage the person may be experiencing some negative
issues associated with their substance use.
We’ve all known that person it seems like they’re the only one that doesn’t
know that they have a problem. In this stage the person
has little or no motivation to change their behavior, as they don’t really view
themselves as having a problem we’re just having fun.
I heard that stage two was is called the contemplation stage in the second stage
the individual may realize that their behavior is problematic but they’re
ambivalent about making changes. The person they have a desire to change and
may even have considered changing but has not invested any real effort into
changing their behavior. Stage three is the preparation stage the individual has
made a commitment to changing their behavior and accepted responsibility for
doing so. Most individuals in this stage weigh the positive versus the negative. Some individuals may have attempted to develop a plan for change, but in this
stage they have not taken any formal action. I would say that Katy spent a
long time hovering between two and three. In stage four, in the action stage, the
person is actively involved in changing their behavior. Any active effort to
change behavior would be enough to categorize them as being in this stage.
Most of individuals in this stage understand that they are responsible for
changing their behavior and often require some form of outside assistance
to help them reach their goal. Stage five is called the maintenance stage in this
stage the individual develops an aspect of efficiency that has allowed
them to change the behavior. They may still be working on change, but they have
have become proficient enough in order to change their behavior. As a general
rule individuals must have about six months of sobriety in order to qualify for this stage and maintenance
will go on for the rest of their lives. This is not the kind of thing that goes
away as I’m sure most of you are aware. I’m sorry, let me just a little mixed up
here so in this slide you will say that recovery may take a very long time
there’s no knowing how long it will take but on an average it takes
about eight years. There’s a lot of time spent in on these four to five years of
attempts and the onset and maybe some help speaking on four to five treatment
centers is typical and the lifetime of vigilance on the part of the person
affected. The good news is that after five years the rate of
re-occurrence goes down to about fifteen percent and as many as sixty six percent
of people fully recover from substance use disorder depending on the drug time.
the longer away from the drugs and the more effort spent in
building a healthy life, the greater the likelihood that someone will remain
sober. The estimate that there are currently twenty three point five
million people in recovery but what do we do with the time in between? A big
part of the answer lies in boundaries for the family not to cut them off. Kind
of boundaries, but loving boundaries that are in the best interest of the entire
family and unique to each family system. Boundaries should be offered as a
choices not punishment. We shouldn’t be angry at a person
suffering, but we also have to protect ourselves and then because
the effects of the drug prevent our loved ones from making healthy decisions.
One of the boundaries for myself was, you may live in my home unless you use drugs.
Then I will be available to help you when you’re ready. But you can no longer
live at home, was very painful to do. I was not throwing her out, she made the
unfortunate choice not to choose treatment and therefore she couldn’t
live in the house. Healthyboundaries are often very difficult, but people are
often more likely to change if you are offer reasonable alternatives. My story started when my daughter came
to me and told me she had tried heroin had been experimented it was worth
experimenting was worried about her alcohol use I was stunned. In retrospect
I can see the signs, but in all honesty at that point the signs looked a lot
like someone moving from adolescence to adulthood. A typical college student,
there was no arguing or convincing needed at that point to get Katie into
treatment. She was asking for help. Because we were so close I thought she
would always come to me. I underestimated the power of addiction so when she
completed her outpatient program went right back to using and couldn’t stop,
she instead started to lie to me and hide her use. I’m still looking at my
daughter through the lens of a parent that wanted to believe the best. I
thought we were in a phase and it would pass. Unfortunately I was wrong. This
began a journey that would lead her to more than 40 entries into treatment and
more than 13 overdoses. The support connection and education was difficult
to find and I desperately needed it. I knew nothing of the physiology of
addiction I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t stop. I thought she just
wouldn’t stop. I had terrific physical boundaries rules. I would help her, but
not with money and she couldn’t live at the house, but I helped her get into
treatment or sober living. It sounded good, but I had zero emotional boundaries
I was combing the streets looking for her. Contacting drug dealers and
threatening people to stay away and looked for her and found her in four
different states. I could not have been any more unhealthy or any less helpful. I
finally began to reach out to a local support group – “Learn to Cope”and
created a network of mothers experiencing the same hell I was going
through. I was able to ask for support and information based on others’
experience. This network grew to be Magnolias New Beginnings, an online peer support group which currently has over 25,000 members. It helped, but of course nothing
felt like it would mean anything until my daughter was well again. I held on to
hope with my fingernails, compared to other medical and psychiatric illnesses.
Substance use disorder is a disorder with a good prognosis. It’s estimated
that between 42 and 66 percent of people with a substance use disorder achieved
full remission, although it can take time to reach that point. Although the old
standard was attending meetings as a sole pathway, the opioid epidemic has
caused us to rethink this as our only answer. Medically assisted recovery
providing access to the choice of the three fda-approved methods of medically
assisted treatment, methadone and suboxone and vivitrol is probably the
most controversial among the old people of the old thoughts, but as any
person who has lost someone to a heroin overdose will tell you, you
can’t get well if you’re dead. a monthly vivitrol shot along with
therapy, in connection to other support was the safety net that allowed my
daughter over two years of sobriety and that continues today. Sadly the roller
coaster that is all too familiar to a loved one of a person with a substance
use disorder can be incredibly painful. They call addiction a family disease,
because while one person suffers while one person may be addicted, the
entire family suffers. any people will have a reoccurrence of symptoms or stay
stuck in a particular stage. The overall model is quite consistent with the
experiences of mental health clinicians who treat all types of different mental
health disorders including substance abuse issues. The process of lapsing or
relapsing or what we now call a reoccurrence of symptoms is relatively
common in individuals recovering from a substance use disorder and in some cases
relapses are accompanied by entire attitude chips that result in these
people starting over again recovery from a substance use disorder is rarely
accomplished in a linear fashion without setbacks you may have heard the old
adage you can’t drink from an empty well it couldn’t be more true
in the case of supporting someone with a substance use disorder. Compassion
fatigue is defined as an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the
suffering of others to the degree that secondary traumatic stress develops in
the individual providing aid. This not only deeply affects families but also
many people working in helping professions. Increased isolation chronic daytime fatigue and poor quality of sleep at night. Emotional instability, irritability, crying spells, expressed or observed apathy toward work relationships in the
future. Use of substances or other activities and access to no emotions
including food which was my drug of choice. Persistent rumination preoccupation and an inflated sense of personal
responsibility in the outcome I believed I believed with all my heart that I needed to do
something amd no one else could. Unexplained somatic symptoms such as
gastrointestinal distress, headaches chronic pain pain or lingering calls. Another common hallmark of compassion
fatigue is not being able to turn the thoughts of the person suffering off.
However if this preoccupation progresses to intrusive thoughts flashbacks or
nightmares of a specific traumatic incident you’re experiencing more than a compassion fatigue. Some of these
symptoms of compassion fatigue and PTSD overlap. PTSD is a distinctly separate
and more serious anxiety disorder that requires professional treatment. I’ve
known many people and know myself to a certain degree that experienced PTSD
bu, I’ve known many people that have had to resuscitate their own children and
experienced significant PTSD after that. The best and most important thing you
can do to help your loved one or those you work with is to find help for
yourself and connect with recovery capital which we will discuss next. In the US, Betty Ford Institute consensus
define recovery as a voluntary maintain lifestyle characterized by sobriety
personal health and citizenship seek our certifying body of most recovery coaches
states that you are in recovery when you say you are two ends of the spectrum
there either way recovery may look different depending on the person. But
the common theme I believe would be an improvement in health and lifestyle.
Researchers and clinicians have devised the construct of recovery capital in
order to refer part of the sum of resources needed to initiate and sustain
recovery from substance misuse the key components of recovery capital is
defined by cloud and grant field are our social capital which is all your
research, all the resources a person has, all their relationships and the
obligations that come with those relationships such as family commitments.
And the second is physical capital tangible apps assets, money, property
things that will enable you to maybe move from one place to the next to get
away from friends or networks that were not helpful or to afford to go into
treatment human capital on your skills and your positive on positive health
aspirations and goals personal resources that enable you to continue on your
recovery journey and cultural capital which include values beliefs and
attitudes that link to social conformity and the ability to fit into a dominant
social behavior. A good recovery wellness plan will address all four of these
aspects of recovery. What about the family addiction is a family disease we
have all heard that said, but rarely is there any help to the family just try
and search for help for the family and aside fromAl-Anon and Nar-anon or if
you’re fortunate enough to be in Massachusetts, Learn to Cope, we are often quoted the three C’s and sent on our way You didn’t cause the problem, You can’t
control the problem, You can’t cure the problem. Well that’s great, not very
helpful, but it’s good to know. At best if your loved one agrees to treatment the
treatment center may offer you a short class or meeting with a family therapist.
My daughter walked into treatment more than 40 times. Some excellent and
well-known treatment centers and I was offered one, one-hour
long class and two family therapy sessions in total. With any luck at all, a
loved one will enter treatment spend a minimum of 28 days and will go on to after care or longer-term treatment. The family on the other hand, has the most
important support system of this person and also more than likely to be
traumatized both financially and emotionally is left to fend for
themselves and with limited resources. The family and loved ones become sick
or sicker than the person who has gone to treatment. During active addiction we
develop patterns of behavior that don’t work for either ourselves or the person
newly in recover. Our world all too often is turned upside down. Addiction is
a family disease because everyone feels the pain and suffers the consequences
yet only one person receives treatment and then we send that person back to the
family dynamic that has not been educated or healed unless the family has
sought out and found reliable information at a time when they are
taking that first few new breaths of relief or possibly just waiting for the
other shoe to drop if they have been through this more than once. All of the
old habits and patterns have not been addressed. If you get any clearer
information on how to better communicate or any real information on the
physiology of addiction, or the stages of change, we are all in such a panic over
the person with a substance use disorder and understandably so, that our own needs
are not given more than a second thought. I would like to introduce the idea into
into a common practice of a family recovery coach a family recovery coach
is someone who encourages and motivates who will sit down with the family and
offer resources in education family recovery coaches are not a therapist or a
clinician although they may be. If they take the training but they are
not that as as a rule I had a wonderful therapist when I was going through this
but she wasn’t informed on addiction are able to empathize from firsthand
experience I’m not sure what I would have done without her but she couldn’t
help me in this particular case she didn’t know where to find resources
ahead of that a better treatment center she wanted to help and did just not with
this particular all-consuming part of my life fast is the family of family
focused addiction support training is a complement is a compilation of many
trainings both on methods of response to substance use disorder and behavioral
health approaches and my own personal experience the personal experience I
will tell you is the most it was the most difficult learning process of al.l I
would like others to benefit from all that knowledge might take my intent is
to train others in this method and endless treatment centers to include
families in the recovery process we matter and we need to help the
curriculum is currently being developed with the goal of NAIDOC certification
early next year I feel very strongly strongly that this
is a huge gap that needs to be addressed Today Katy celebrates more than two
years of sobriety and I cherish every moment of it. I continue to do this work
in honor of all of those we’ve lost in hopes that we can somehow turn the tide during the worst period of my daughter’s
addiction I created Magnolia New Beginnings. The mission was to create an
online peer community for those that are supporting some with a
substance use disorder and to raise funds for sober living for those
motivated individuals that were financially unable to do so themselves.
In order for them to continue their recovery in a safe supported environment
will probably give out about sixty or seventy scholarships this year in the
state of Massachusetts unfortunately this is not something that’s covered by
MassHealth so people can go into treatment
Massachusetts and on but then often come and not have to go back to the same
unsafe or on or dangerous situations they were in before.
More in order to address the lack of family support and to open up the
discussion on what a family goes through when a loved one is caught in the cycle
of addiction I offer training speaking family recovery coaching interventions
and consulting through Magnolia recovery and consulting services you can also
listen to on the collateral damage podcast and on where I have many experts
in the field and I talk to them and give and hopefully inform other people. Thank
you very much for listening I know that we’re going to leave some time open for
questions and I don’t know whether Susan is going to give me the ball back or
or whether she’s going to take the ball thanks so much for the information
Maureen so yes I will take the ball back here and I guess
we’d like to open this up now to questions from people. For some
reason I am having trouble with the ball today you know what this is Maureen just
if you could just advance the slide all right so ifou have questions if you
could put them in the chat box and while we’re waiting for others to have
questions I have a question. I was wondering Maureenhow how did you
finally come to understand that addiction is a disease?
I guess the reason why I ask that is I happened to see Dr. Ruth
Potee give a presentation about the physiology of addiction and she gave
some clear evidence based in about what happens to the
brain and that is when I discovered this is a disease, because I also lived with
addiction in my family. and I was wondering if you could speak to that? I have heard her give that presentation and about ten times because I
adore her and I think that it’s not necessarily because I also had heard
before her at Learn to Cope meeting I heard Dr. John Kelly speak and talk
about the physiology of addiction but it was something about the way she said it
um she and I still every time I listen to her talk I learned something new
she’s very generous with um with everything she does but she allows she
has on YouTube if you look up Ruth Potee you can see it’s P o t e e. I think right
yes I just I did just put her link in the chat but it’s amazing she’s got
YouTube videos out there and she runs through this just very simple concise
easy to understand but on something that’s I open because I I guess I knew it
was a disease but did I really believe it was a disease I’m not sure and then I
heard her talk and I heard dr. Kelly talk and they explained how how heroin
for example offence affects the dopamine levels and how you know and how a person
it takes a very long time to get back to normal and would ask even after they
stopped so and where what parts of the brain are affected by addiction and she
talks about it she’s a doctor but she talks about it like she’s not not like a
doctor like like a you know just a person so for everybody that’s not a
doctor and and doesn’t don’t you know you don’t speak in that medical jargon
she was um she opened my eyes up to it too so yeah I mean I thought that was
that was a pivotal it was listening to her okay I see a couple of questions in
the chat box so Here’s a question I’m in Colorado how
can I start a group here? I think she means the Magnolia she can contact me we
have a couple of people in Colorado that have been wanting to start a group so um
you wouldn’t be alone that’s for sure. There’s quite a few people that want to
start their own group we have a main group or a national group we call it and
um that has about I want to say about 3,000 people in it so a lot of the
states where there isn’t a specific group there’s a we have the national
group but there’s plenty of people in Colorado that would love to join her so
she can just contact me all right so I will put your email address in the chat
box in one second. tThere’s a second question that says, Can you please give
more examples about boundaries as a choice and not as a punishment? Sure
we’re not I mean when you once when you want what’s best for somebody I mean in
in my case it was I wanted her to stop using heroin on you can you offer you’re
not angry at them so you’re not trying I was never trying to punish her I was
never angry mad at her I just wanted her just to stick around. I didn’t want her
to kill herself so I offered choices that would that would prevent me from
enabling her but and would also be seen as a choice they were on I wouldn’t give
her money but she if she met me I would buy her breakfast. There’s lots of times
where um she wanted to come home but I couldn’t have her in my house if she was
using drugs so we would and we believe this is a whole family that was probably
one of the most important things is the whole family had to agree on this that
this these are the things that we will do for you and you are always welcome
home you just not welcome home when you’re using drugs but if you can if you
want to come home and you can stop I will do
anything I can to help you but that’s my that was my one caught because you know
one line in the sand no drugs so that was not punishment by any
stretch of the imagination it was it was boundaries alright so a couple of people
have asked about one was listening on her phone and she didn’t get to see any
slides and another person would like a member of their family to hear this so
all of you who have registered for this webinar will receive a recording link as
well as all of the resources that have been mentioned in this webinar so I’ll
even take the resources that are in the chat box and you will have access to
that too it takes me about a week to get the link out to you because I need to
combine the captioning file with the the recording link but as long as you’re on
this list you will receive the you’ll be able to listen to it and have access to
the slides and links to all the resources so I’m just trying to see if
there are any more questions here before we close
people are saying thank you so I’ll just keep that open and I just wanted to
mention to our audience that well first of all let me thank Maureen I I so
appreciate you sharing your story and also the resources that you’re involved
in, the Collateral Damage Podcast that anyone can watch, you can buy her book
on Amazon, you can also be part of the Magnolia New Beginnings
support group which is all online support network. Thank you everyone who attended today please
give us your feedback I also wanted to mention so actually let me
put the evaluation link and code in the chat box. The link should pop up automatically but
I’ll give you the code here so that’s in the chat box but we have a couple of
other webinars coming up. They’re listed on this next slide. The
author of the book Beautiful Boy and CLEAN David Sheff will be presenting some of his
research work to us October 9th from 3 to 4 and again if the time is not
convenient for you if you register you will be on the email list to get the
webinar recording and the materials of course we would love you to come live to
the webinar because you will be able to ask David questions. I n December we have
Fred Muench who’s the president of the Partnership for Drug-free Kids,
this organization has tons of free online resources for engaging parents
and caregivers in substance use disorder prevention and recovery that’s December
5th and then we have a speaker from a documentary film, “Beyond the Wall, Louie
Diaz who is going to be talking about his work with those returning to the
community after spending time in jails for substance use disorder related
crimes and he’s doing a lot of work with substance use disorder prevention and
education as well. So that webinar is coming up on January 30th all right and
let me just see if there are any other questions. I don’t see any more
so again Maureen thank you very much for the information and we’ll make sure your
email address as part of the resources as well for people wonderful thank you
very much all right thank you everyone for attending have a good rest of the
afternoon. I’m just going to leave this slide up
for a little bit longer I had trouble advancing it. just so you
know and actually I will put the link for the rest of these webinars in the
chat box and I’ll put the evaluation link and code in the chat box.

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