Gaslighting And Manipulation Are A Drug Addicts 2 Best Friends!

Gaslighting And Manipulation Are A Drug Addicts 2 Best Friends!


Welcome to part two of our series on how
addicts and alcoholics manipulate their families and everyone else around them.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Amber Hollingsworth Master Addiction
Counselor and I’ve been treating addicts and alcoholics for the past 15 years. I’ve pretty much seen and heard it all. And, I’m gonna give you the inside scoop on
exactly how addicts and alcoholics think. So if you have a loved one with a drug
or alcohol problem, you definitely want to be subscribed to this channel, and hit
the bell, because I’ll make sure you stay five steps ahead of addiction at all
times. Okay, so like I said before this is part
two in a series on how addicts and alcoholics manipulate their families. if
you haven’t seen part one that’s okay. You can go back and watch that one after
this one. You don’t have to watch it in order, but you do need to watch them all.
Tjis one is definitely gonna make you want to pull your hair out So let’s
call this one crazy-making, because people in active addiction (on
purpose) make you think you’re crazy, and question your sanity. If you’ve got a
loved one with a drug or alcohol problem, I bet you know what I’m talking about.
They have several techniques to help pull this off. Here’s how this
works …You know that they are lying, and sneaking, and abusing some sort of
substance but it is really hard to catch them. They’re super good at being
sneaky and so you start driving yourself crazy trying to prove it, trying to find
the substances, trying to catch them in a lie, checking their receipts, digging
through the drawers, and anything else you can think of to find the actual
evidence. And when you can’t find it, your insides are still screaming that
something is really bad wrong. You can’t ignore it. I guess in some
ways you are kind of getting crazy, but they’ll use that against you. They know
why you’re doing that. They know that you know what’s up. But as much as possible, they’re
going let you think that you are a lunatic. Because, you’re going to
feel guilty when they catch you sneaking around, searching for their stuff. They’re
going to look at you like…[things the addicted person will say to you} What is wrong with you? Why are you doing that? I’m not
doing anything, is that all you’re going do? All of this is going to put you on the
defensive, because now you’re sneaking around to catch them, being sneaky. As you
can see, the whole dynamic here is getting a little bit crazy.
They’re gonna tell you that you’re obsessed. They’re gonna tell you that
you’re constantly nagging. They’re going to tell you that you worry
too much. They’re going tell you that you’re anxious. They’re going tell you
all kinds of stuff that is wrong with you. To some degree, they’re probably
right. You probably are obsessed, and anxious, and worry too much. Yes, you’re
probably all those things, but the key factor is that addiction is making you
crazy!!! So yeah, if they call you out on the
crazy, just aknowledge it . Say something like…You know what, you’re probably right. Because this
situation is making me crazy. Now let’s see if we can’t get a real-life examples
to help you understand what we’re talking about. Lucas: The instance with maybe the cigarettes,
or being on the phone outside…. I would know that my dad was up, and then he
might hear me go outside, and I do it kind of sneaky ( not be loud about it)., so that he (Dad) would hear just a loud enough noise, so he would hear it. So that he (dad) would think I might be
sneaking out, and then make sure that I’m visibly just on the phone. Then I could say…God
you’re crazy. Leave me alone. I’m just on the phone with my girlfriend. Why are you
guys so crazy. I might plan that all day. Amber: mm-hmm
Lucas: that when I get home tonight I’m going to do that, and that’s where
it becomes really manipulative. When you’re planning that much into it (to
deceive someone) because you want to make them feel crazy. That’s an awful thing to do
to somebody, but it is effective. [Lucas speaks about splitting between his counselor and his parents] Parents: well and he stole $20 out of my
pocketbook last night. Lucas: It It wasn’t 20, it was five. Why do you never
get anything right? You’re literally lying about me to the therapist right
now. Obviously anybody from an objective
standpoint could say well stealing $5 or or $20 is wrong. The amount really doesn’t
matter. But in my mind, that would divert the attention just enough (off of me) so then it could be a that this person is fallible, and they can’t be trusted,
because they’re giving wrong facts. Then the attention isn’t on me
for a second. Because was it $20 or was it $5? David: When it comes down to not having
your fix, not having your drug, it’s Survival mode. It’s like a
life-or-death situation to me, in that moment . I was willing to do
anything. I mean don’t get me wrong, I would steal from my friends. I was the
guy that would steal your drugs and then help you look for them. I’d make you
think you dropped him under the couch or something. When I had already smoked it. Joey: Because I was constantly trying to steal
her (mom) stuff, and it’s so crazy to think about how I lived
my life. I live my life that when I heard my mom get up, I knew that meant
she was about to go walk our dogs, around our apartment complex. I knew
that meant that as soon as that door closed, I was up across the
across the apartment ,,into the room into her purse looking for something that I
can find. It might be money or medicine that she was taking.
I was going to take from her whatever it was. It meant that and
I remember it probably wasn’t too long after, I’d ripped her off
a couple times, that she realized what I was doing. So it was funny, because she
went about it a bunch of different ways. She would hide her purse
in her car, but then I would just find it in her trunk. The worst was when she
would close the door to the apartment. This was really bad because this is when I I know that I’ve got problems. She would close the door to the
apartment. I would immediately spring up, across the room, and then she would open
the door again, and she’d be like.. Hey Joe, what are you doing? I’d be like…
nothing, I was just going to the bathroom. She’s like…. Well, you’ve got a bathroom in your
room. What are you doing? We’rent you just sleeping?
It’s humiliating to look at that, and like look at those behaviors.
Amber: Well that was enlightening. Okay so now that you’ve
been enlightened on how that actually works, make sure that you check out the
the video that Campbell and I made. I’m going put it right up here, so you can
click on it, and watch that next.

4 comments

  1. ❤️️Watch this video next: How Denial Works: Inside the mind of an addict: https://youtu.be/PDJAcvquL-g

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