Heroin addiction story – parents’ perspective #1 | My Treatment My Choice

I have very happy memories of my identical twin sons as children I just have many joyful happy memories of them as fun-loving boys who love sports and you were a little bit mischievous at school and he had ambitions one day to become Britain’s downhill ski champions because they loved to go skiing but behind all of that we didn’t know that there was a lot of drug use going on Nicholas and Simon along with many of their friends had picked up cigarettes and alcohol quite early into their teens and from inquisitive behavior that young people often have in trying things to see if see what it’s like and that led to trying other drugs other recreational drugs as well so when their grandmother indicated to me that she felt something was wrong that was the kind of first indication looking looking at their eyes and that they were starting perhaps to be a little bit more laid-back about life and disinterested in themselves once they had progressed from smoking their first hair in joint they then moved on to chasing the dragon and eventually became IV users and one of the things that they chose to do as identical twins was to work hard at keeping it secret from the family it was only at the point when Simon asked to meet me and he said to me mum I have something to tell you and I said what is it and he said mum I’m a pinhead and I said I don’t know what a pinhead is can you explain that and that’s when he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and he showed me the track marks in his arms thoughts flash through your head such as how long has been going on for is it my fault have I done something wrong to make you turn to drugs and he then you begin to think oh is that what that money disappeared from that I thought that I must placed and it’s like a jigsaw puzzle floating down like snow flakes as things start to fit into place find yourself doing all the things that you feel are really worthwhile doing would actually and not necessarily for example paying off drug dealers and clearing debts and trying to rebuild the status quo but not understand that standing that actually that’s allowing you to enable them to continue their drug use in fact the drug dealer further up the chain would offer them and their other friends who were addicts opportunities to sell drugs he would say you don’t need to go out and commit crime for your fix because I’ll pay you your fix for free if you’ll sell me a thousand pounds worth of drugs so to see your children’s personalities change in the grip of addiction to see them change into cheats and liars and petty criminals with very devastating I took them to various rehabs Pike so many family members do I made phone calls to rehabs and hospitals to get them well but of course that was futile it wasn’t them that wanted to get well at that point it was me that wanted them to get well our family wanted them to get well I thought that when my sons went on synthetic opiates the problems were over that the first rehab that they set into their problems are over they were engaged in a program with a synthetic opiate which they were able to collect daily from the chemist I started to see evidence of them start looking just a little bit more normalized and so that was encouraging that the synthetic opiate might be helping them to bring some structure into their lives and to understand that only they could effectively put their lives back in order but suddenly our journey our lives were derailed with Nicholas’s death in 2004 in February 2004 and two days before he died I saw him looking quite well even looking at college courses you know to do at the local college and looking forward to his future two days later he went to a party with his brother and used drugs again and injected and had a very traumatic argument with his brother about the importance of trying to get off drugs and in the morning when his brother woke up and he found that he’d he’d hung himself so he took his own life at the age of 27 next to mrs. body we when we open this box thinking it would be have his phone in we found that it contained drug paraphernalia of his life and it contained the the spoons that he heated the heroin on and the needles that he used and the starett wipes that subverts seemingly he used on his veins that’s the legacy that sadly he left us because everything else had been sold what’s in this box with huge honesty that the loss of Nicholas had the most traumatic impact on Simon so he had to make some significant choices about his own life would he continued with his drug use he slowly started to rebuild his relationships with members of the family who had lost trust lost belief in him right I think it took him five years before he had a credit worthy worthy profile that he could have a Visa card or bank account get a mortgage and you have to do that bit by bit and show that you’re determined to put your life right and for him it gave him Nicholas’s death gave him his life back and so he he slowly steadily put his life back together again and so he’s rebuilt and he’s in a very good place today he’s now married with two children of his own completely drug and alcohol free holding down a very good job and of course we are all enormously proud of him

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