hey guys welcome back to my channel
today I have Erin Garner with me I’m going to be doing something a little bit
different today I normally do Beauty related videos on my channel but I
really wanted to start interviewing some of my friends about their stories they
have really awesome Jesus stories that have come from brokenness and I just
wanted to give you guys a little bit of hope so and you can kind of introduce
yourself I’m 26 years old I’m from Tennessee I’ve been married for three
years and my husband and I just had our first little boy and Luke is sleeping in
the back right now Ian and I grew up together her husband and my husband are
best friends and Hannah and I were also this Margaret together so I am a nurse
and I’ve been a nurse for about four years but today I am gonna share a story
that is a little bit more on the serious side I’m just gonna tell a little bit
about how my story has kind of shaped Who I am today I hope that Jesus is
shown today I hope you enjoy yeah so let’s go ahead and get started and we’re
both nervous for this and yeah because we’ve never done anything like this
before so let’s go ahead and get on into it we hope you guys enjoy all have all
of Erin’s links and information in the description box below so you guys can go
check her out and with that being said let’s get on into it so Eric tell me a
little bit about your life growing up and when you accepted Christ so my life
growing up my family didn’t really go to church a whole lot or anything like that
but the first moment that I really remember
I guess feeling the Holy Spirit was in like fourth grade and I went on a little
church trip with my friend and I think that was the time I actually like
accepted Christ but over the years I didn’t really have a whole lot of growth
there and then when Nathan and I started dating about junior year we started
going to church and that’s when I really kind of started
seeing the growth there so they didn’t I kind of kind of grew together in that
all right so tell me about your relationship with your dad
so am I in the middle of three girls and so my dad it was really the boyish
things and so he always wanted us to be tomboy you know I grew up playing
softball I was terrible it was like rec league softball
okay my coach would always get onto because I would draw my name but so
anyways me my dad were really close to me kind of bonded through that because
he wanted me to be a tomboy and I was a girly girl so that’s awesome do you have
one special memory that you like will never forget with him I think the the
biggest memory that I think is the coolest thing is just that he was able
to walk me down the aisle back so yeah if I could hear my father’s voice he
would tell me to move on he would say I’ll be just fine he would
tell me we have time time to laugh and time to pee so you and your dad were
super close and then you found out that he struggled with an addiction how did
your relationship change after that so I think the time that I figured out I
remember we come had like a little family meeting and we all went over to
my parents house to talk about it and approach him and I remember just like
the first time that I saw him like I just shattered you know like I just
broke down in tears I couldn’t even look at him or just because that’s that’s not
who he was yeah you know so how you thought of them I got like yeah so it
changed in that my heart just just broke because I knew for him to get to that
place he had you know it he had to have some really dark moments yeah and so it
was just it was just that in my heart just broke I’m about how long was he
struggling for I do you think he told us that first it had kind of progressed
over several years like it started you know as one thing and then it kind of
just progressed into a more serious situation so I would say my 18th
birthday was the first time that I realized like okay you know he’s
struggling and then it all came to light and progressed and probably you know
five five to six years okay before it was a real so your mom always
kind of knew this but really intelligent girls either yeah and
we saw pieces of it growing up but you know we were kind of sheltered from it
and you who was a great dad and yeah we didn’t we didn’t think of him that way I
feel like it changed your family dynamic at all did you feel like you had to be
strong at times for your family I think so we were all just so shocked at the
news and so I in the middle of three sisters and so my older sister kind of
acts as a strong wind my little sister acts as like that she’s
just so sweet and I am in the middle like I want I
kind of play both parts and say that I like I like to be the peacemaker I like
to make sure everyone is happy and but at the same time I just I’m very
emotional and so yeah it definitely changed my family’s dynamic because we
wanted to shelter my little sister without hi Mindy yeah so and then of
course my mom it was just a very hard situation none of us really knew what to
do or actors why okay so what do you mind telling us I know this is gonna get
really deep and like emotional but would you mind telling us what happened on the
day of your dad’s passing okay so I’ll try to keep it together um so I
was at work and it was a Saturday and I think I was supposed to get off there
like two that day and I got a call from my mom
around I think it was like 10 and she actually texted us and said girls you
need to call me now and for some reason when I read that text I just need yeah
so my dad was in Boston he had been working we had got my sister after
college and about August even you know the end of August or whenever it was
and then he went to Boston for several weeks and so we talked every day I think
the beginning of October is when he was supposed to come home
but anyways when I read my mom’s text that day I just I just knew so I left
work my work friends are awesome and I rushed to my parents house it was
actually my little sister’s 19th birthday and we were supposed to go to
dinner that night so she was coming home from college to go to dinner with us and
so I rushed home to my mom and what had happened was my dad he had been rooming
with someone and he woke up that morning and didn’t know where my dad was and so
he thought he just went outside you know and then so he actually went into the
bathroom and that’s where he so of course since the situation was crazy eat
they had to do an autopsy and the results were that it was acute
accidental findell overdose so it was an accident
um were you like going back and forth in your mind like you know did he do this
on purpose or was it I didn’t ever see my dad doing that or
you know but it definitely crossed my mind
that wasn’t sure and so the whole autopsy process took like three months I
think and so it was definitely hard not knowing exactly what happened yeah so I
know this was like a big one for you do you know if your dad ever accepted Jesus
I am not 100% sure on that and that breaks my heart to say I know through
small group with you you heard me pray for it and heard me
you know it was a huge prayer request for a lot of the time he did he so he
went to rehab twice and after the first time he really kind of started to dive
into that and he got baptized at church so I don’t know where his relationship
was I think that his addiction really definitely could mask maybe where his
heart was you know I don’t I don’t know for sure but I hope that he did have a
relationship with Jesus I I hope yeah so how did faith play a role in like
calming yourself when you are thinking we’re thinking about like is your dad in
heaven or not cuz I know that’s a struggle for a lot of people yeah that
was definitely hard and like the main thing that people always say when people
pass away is he’s in heaven now he’s in heaven now and that was really hard for
me because just with my background I don’t I don’t know for sure that he was
and so growing up I had prayed for this for a long time and so I’m worried about
this day thought about what if and thought that I would just not be able to
go on yeah and so the day it happened of course I was just broken
but it it was so weird like the feeling that I had it was just peace yeah and
there is like the amount of times I had worried about this situation and been so
scared that it would happen the fact that I had that feeling yeah I knew it
was from Jesus and so that makes me have hope that through all those years of
praying my prayers were answered yeah Jesus really does give you like the
peace that passes all understanding and unless you are in that broken place I
don’t feel like you like people always feel that but like I know from
experience and I couldn’t imagine in your experience just like having that
peace and time like in such a broken time is like that could only be from
rice yeah so was there ever a point that you felt angry at God and if so like how
did you work through those emotions I definitely my initial response you know
it’s kinda like fight or flight I I was I don’t know if injury is the word but I
was like what the heck I’ve been praying for this I’ve been praying for him to be
healed and saved and at the moment I didn’t feel like my prayers were
answered and so I really went to it my mind went to a really unhealthy place
and for for a week or so I was in that unhealthy place and because right before
this situation I feel like I had grown in my relationship more than I ever had
and so when this happened I was just kind of like what do I do
yeah you know yeah and so the enemy really just took over me for that week
or so and I just went to really unhealthy place but it’s crazy how when
you fade away God just pulls you back in because we figured out about a week
after the whole situation that we were having a baby
we were we were quite me we had no idea leads a total surprise if
you would have asked us if we were ready we would have said no but it is just
crazy how my mind said that had gotten to that dark place was just shifted I
mean and I thought God is trusting me to be a mom like yeah I you know and I had
to change my thought process I had to change the way I thought you know God is
preparing me for motherhood and the struggles of life I really want to hear
about this story when your dad asked you for when are you gonna give me
grandbabies basically yeah yeah so like right before he left for Boston
in the last time we were on the phone and he was like when are you gonna give
me another Green Bay because like I can’t I can’t wait forever and I was
like dad just wait a few more years you know when I promise we’ll we’ll give you
one and so at that time when we had that conversation I was pregnant and I didn’t
even know it yeah which is so cool and one of my friends now says I just think
the last time you hugged your dad he was hugging your little baby the sweetest
little image yeah to imagine so like inside of you and if you see her little
baby you guys look maybe if you like mine but
he is just the most precious angel do you feel like here is it was your dad oh
I do you do there’s times where I’m like but yeah so is there one person clean
tube in times of sadness and I feel like there’s a lot of verses that can I help
me through the situation but the one that I feel like has helped me with what
I’ve struggled with the most which is where is my dad now I don’t know exactly
what happened or you know where he was and so it’s Hebrews 11:1
my favorite wine Hebrews 11:1 says now faith is the confidence in what we hope
for in the assurance about what we do not see so I have confidence that my dad
is in heaven but I can’t know that for sure yeah that’s where I have that faith
I love that verse and I feel like that’s such a good first for anybody going
through a hard hard situation and so definitely write that one down how do
you find hope in the brokenness it it has really it’s been hard at a is in
those days where I’m weak in days where I’m strong but another burst and psalms
118 24 or something like that yeah it is this is the day the Lord has made let us
rejoice and be got in and so my you know I have to just trust God as me here you
know for a purpose and I think part of my purpose is just being able to share
this story and hopefully help somebody going through I don’t know I don’t have
it all together I don’t know the perfect way to handle this situation but I just
have to keep going and know that God has a bigger point and just telling your
story is impacting so many people what is one thing that you would tell others
who may be struggling with an addiction or a family member with an addiction I
think for me I’m such a I like to plan things I like to know like a plus B
equals seat like I like to ya know a solution for things and I think the
biggest thing is just knowing this you can’t there’s nothing specific that you
can do to fix a family member it’s just finding that balance of loving them and
in not enabling them what like one thing that you wish your dad would have done
differently or known as he was struggling through an
addiction like what do you what would you tell somebody I would just I think
that he wanted to play that he had it all together he yeah he wanted to get
better so bad that he thought he could just say you is better and he would be
better he didn’t want us to struggle or us to hurt because of him so I would
just say don’t be afraid to get help yeah you know you have people that love
you people want to help you and you you aren’t alone
and so just no one to get help and it’s okay to not have it all together exactly
that’s my last question for you is how has this change your perspective on
other people struggling with addictions I think for some reason in this this is
crazy but people look at addiction as such a bad thing like you have to be a
certain type of person to be struggling with addiction and my dad is perfect
proof that that’s not true he was successful smart family minion and it
can be anyone and so this really changes my perspective I just have a heart of
love because I doesn’t want to show these people that and I think even my
dad struggled with just not just feeling low and down on himself because he
wasn’t supposed to be this yes and so it’s really changed my perspective that
it can it can affect anyone yeah and like it literally didn’t affect some
lawyers like people that you would never think like oh they’re so successful you
know but they can struggle just as much as any other person good so thank you
and so much for being on this interview with me we were both like American
students but it was really cool just getting to talk to you and hear a little
bit more about your story one on one and we really
that it can help you guys erin has a lifestyle blog she just started it not
too long ago and she talks all about her dad and her newborn baby so you guys
should definitely go check it out I’ll have all of her information linked in
the description box below and if you guys like if they ever have issues they
can write yes I have my email on the blog and she can attach it but I don’t
know the answers but I’m definitely here to listen and help in any way that I can
yeah so definitely reach out to her if you guys have any questions or if you’re
struggling with the same thing I’m sure she would be happy to talk to you guys
and she has some really awesome wisdom that not a lot of people have so thank
you so much for meeting with me again we hope you guys enjoyed this video and
we’ll see you next time thank you guys bye so say hi to baby about it he’s just
waking up from his nap he is so cute look at his little eyes


  1. I hope you guys enjoyed watching something a little bit different on my channel today! I love digging a little bit deeper and sharing my friends stories! I hope you enjoyed this video! If you feel comfortable..share your story down below! <3

  2. This video gave me lots of goosebumps. You guys are so inspiring!! I admire your desire to live for Jesus and I am working on my relationship with him as well. You both, Jaclyn, and Emyle inspire me so much to further my relationship and thank you for being such wonderful role models! Your videos are so phenomenal and great quality. 😊

  3. I just want to give her a hug. The part about her dad hugging her while she was pregnant is beautiful. Love her story ♥️

  4. This was such an intimate video, I really enjoyed it. I love them opening up and anything telling the goodness of Jesus is definitely something I support! Many blessings to you and her!

  5. hi there erin just to speed things up a little do you know where I can find your blog just so I don't have to steer in front of the computer all day?

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