I’m An Alcoholic (Stories Of Addiction Recovery)

I’m An Alcoholic (Stories Of Addiction Recovery)

I remember looking around the room and being
like, “I’m an alcoholic. Like, I’m an alcoholic. This – this is what’s wrong with
me.” You know, like, I was, like, excited about this because for my – for my whole life
up until that point I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me. I was using every day. I was having problems
at work. I was calling out. I was really maladjusted at the time. And I remember I wasn’t paying
bills, and it became a real, real problem. And at this point it got so bad that I was
stealing from my parents. I was lying to them, I was writing checks out of my dad’s checkbook.
I mean, these are lines that I never would have crossed. And I found myself doing it.
It was a really, really, really tough time on my family. And they said, “Look. We’re
here to give you two options: you can either accept the gift that we want to give you or
you can go and live in your car because you’re no longer welcome in our home. We do not want
you to be a part of our family anymore.” I was shaking in the car, you know. I remember,
like, fingernail marks in my hands because I was so mad. I had this thought come to me,
like, “You know what? I’m going to do everything it possibly takes to attain sobriety.”
From that moment forward, I just – I just started writing and just started getting into
the program and the whole spiritual aspect of it, like, just seemed something that I
needed. And riding a journey with other guys who are buying into the program, who keep
pulling each other up, who are willing to talk about their problems… I’ve seen people
change right before my eyes, and that’s something that – it changed me, you know?
I loved it. I took it like a class. You know, I remember getting my first Big Book and I’m
sitting there and Piers is drawing on a whiteboard. And he’s describing, you know, the disease
model of being an alcoholic, and to this point I – I didn’t even know what I was. You know,
I just knew that I was in treatment because I used drugs. And he’s writing it up on
the board and I’m relating to every single thing he’s saying. I can’t take life all
at once, it’s too overwhelming. So the way that the program is set up in Granite Recovery
is amazing, it’s exactly what I needed. They help you to identify what that truth
is, they help you to see that that is your truth if you’re an alcoholic and you’re
an addict. And if you’re an alcoholic and an addict like me, who has no choice but to
pick up, who is stuck in the mental obsession, who – who can’t go a day without using drugs
and a substance, I need to know to the depth of me – to my core – that I can never use
in safety and that I’m going to die from this thing if I pick up again. And now I know
a ton of guys that have graduated the program here and that are doing super well. So my
relationships just in general, not only with my family but with my coworkers, you know,
with my friends, they’re so much deeper. There’s so much more to them now. And I’m
doing something I love. You know, I have a job today as a nursing assistant. I help people
every day. And it fills me up. My name is Rob and I’m a Granite Recovery Centers alumni.

One comment

  1. Love seeing the number of stories on addiction on YouTube nowadays. I recently started my own channel where I discuss my experience with addiction and recovery. Together we can share the hope that recovery from active addiction is possible!

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