Jacob Howard – The Bridge To Reality (Stories Of Addiction Recovery)

Jacob Howard – The Bridge To Reality (Stories Of Addiction Recovery)


So I was actually released from jail – Valley
Street in Manchester – and through the safe station I found Green Mountain. It was still a new rehab at the time, and
they could get me in right away. So it was pretty much an option of go up to
Green Mountain and try to get this thing or have my probation terminated and do a prison
sentence. I didn’t go to Green Mountain because I
wanted to be sober. I didn’t go because I was ready or had that
willingness. I went because it was mandated. It was better – it was a better option than
going to jail or going to prison. I got there and it was different from any
other rehab that I had been to in the past. The Mountain, to me, was a special place. And what it did for me was it made me have
that – that personality change, like, I literally had a psychic change while I was there to
the point where I was terrified to leave. For the first time, I had, like, a healthy
fear. Like, I knew full well that if I left Green
Mountain, I wasn’t going to stay sober. But also, the number one thing I didn’t
want to do and wasn’t willing to do was go to sober living. And they told me time and time again at Green
Mountain, “If you want to stay sober, you have to do what you don’t want to do. You have to do what you least want to do and
fear the most to stay sober.” And I went to Queen City. And looking back, I know now that if I didn’t
go to extended care, then I wouldn’t have been able to go back to Manchester where I
was from, where I was comfortable and make it. Queen City is exactly what I needed. It’s not what I wanted. It’s not what I wanted to be doing. You know, I couldn’t sleep over at my family’s
house, at my girlfriend’s house. I didn’t have the freedom to do what I wanted,
but I – at that time, in early recovery, I shouldn’t have been doing that, you know? My thoughts and my thinking was still delusional. I still thought, like, I could run the show
and that I’d be okay doing what I want to do and not being made to go to meetings and
have a curfew and continuously work on my steps. Queen City gave me a sponsor day one. And so I was held accountable every week – How
many times have you called your sponsor?, How many times have you met with him this
week?, Did you go to a meeting every day? And those things kept me doing the same routine
that I was doing on the Mountain for so long. And it kept me, like, fully mind, body, spirit
in the program and doing all the things that work. That’s what worked for me, that’s why
I’m here today, that’s how I got sober.

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