Love Addiction

Love Addiction


If you think about sex addiction really not
being about sex, but more about the pursuit of sex, the hunt for sex, the chase, the possibilities,
the person who might lie beyond that next hill, so to speak, then that’s what love addiction
is like. The love addict isn’t necessary searching for that next sexual experience, for that
person who’s going to go off in the motel room with them, or who they’re going to hook
up with in an adult bookstore. But the love addict is looking over and over again for
that relationship, or person, that’s going to heal them, making them feel whole, make
them feel complete, make them feel alive. And the problem is that real love isn’t that
experience that you have in the first six months to a year of your relationship, that
passion, that intensity, that spark, that fire, is how people begin to build deep, long-term
relationships. But nobody gets to maintain that, that’s not how life is. Unfortunately,
the love addict will seek out over and over again that intense passionate, they’re all
I can think about kind of experience over and over again rather than settling down to
longer term commitments that don’t have the same intensity as a new love relationship.
Sometimes a love addict will get into a relationship they think this is the one, everything’s perfect,
and then six months later they’re bored. Or they start to see all the problems of that
person, as all people have. And they say, well, maybe this isn’t right person for me,
or maybe I really wasn’t in love, when the truth is, they don’t really necessarily know
what love is. That love is a longer term adaptation to who someone is and accepting them and being
with them as they are, and even loving them for who they are, not just seeking this intensity
about when you’re together they’re all you can think about, that’s a whole different
thing. And that’s something that’s very addictive.

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