Love Is Like Drugs  –  ft. JonTron & Mike Diva (Full Version)

Love Is Like Drugs – ft. JonTron & Mike Diva (Full Version)


this is a story about a man cursed by his 5th grade English teacher but I’m getting ahead of myself you see, it’s also a story about love…well…love is subjective, really, so… you should be the judge of that marshmallow clouds caressing you in your sleep that’s just what love feels like okay… raspberry dragons bathing you in the sea and the salt cleans your pores like never before and you feel born again and that’s just what love feels like just what it feels like i thought you went on, like…2 dates with that girl yeah, what’s the problem, this is the 3rd date tonight– we’re gonna figure out where we’re gonna have our…ashes scattered it’s gonna be beautiful you’re too excited, it’s kind of creepy–you’re creepin me out what do you mean–I’m not excited… okay? I’m being rational… and there’s no excitement here at all–WHOA! –what? –there she is oh, that’s her? man, she is so cool…she doesn’t give a fuck about anything oh my God, I’m so sorry hey, it’s fine, I don’t give a fuck! she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about her OOOH she doesn’t give a fuck she got better things to doooooh (Dostoevsky sucks!) than give a single fuh – huck (you suck!) (she doesn’t give a fuck) she doesn’t give a fuh – huh – huh – huh – huck (she doesn’t give a fuck) she doesn’t give a fuh – huck (she doesn’t give a fuck) not one single fuuuhhhhhhck ohhhhhhhhh I can’t believe my life is so perfect right now oh no…is that a handshake? a bro handshake? maybe I misjudged this whole situation unless maybe we had an inside joke about handshakes mmm, I don’t remember any oh, God…I’m probably embarrassing everyone right now [slow motion greeting] OH, IT WAS A HUG–okay, yeah, was a hug this reminds me of all the mistakes I’ve ever made my father would be ashamed I can almost smell the embarrassment oh, wait a sec–what is that fecal matter?! or have I been driven insane by my failures? can you hallucinate smell? this is it…the end my life is over there’s no coming back from this I die knowing…that I once knew happiness no! wait! I can’t disappoint Milk Thug I can salvage this sorry, I thought that we were going for, like, a handshake thing (laughing) yeah, it’s okay…people think I’m Karen from sales all the time, so… (employment voice) well, Karen, uh, did you get my fax? sent it in the 90s! sure did, get it up on my dial-up modem…Bob! anyways, what I–what I want to ask you was, did you–we still on for tonight? yeah! for sure, I have you down for 8, so… yeah yeah, unless I catch, like, dysentery or something probably not which, I don’t even know if you can catch dysentery only if you go around drinkin shit! I mean, sorry, is that Notes From the Underground, there, you got? yeah! uh, I got it for, like, 2 bucks or something like that I think that’s like 20 cents a chapter I heard people say Crime and Punishment is a lot better uh, I’ll just read em both, I don’t give a fuck (she doesn’t give a fuh – huck) see you later whoa I know don’t blow it you know I can’t promise that oh, I know. was that bird shit or just like a fashion thing? knowin her…it’s probably both bein in love is like bein on drugs without the potential brain damage! [rift in space-time] kisses are crack rocks you don’t have to smoke with no life-ruining baggage where are we?! no life-ruining baggage and when we touch (when they touch) oh, when we toouuuuch (ahhhhh) I can feel it get me high, I can feel that dopamine rush and when we kiss (when they kiss) oh, when we kiss (ahhhhh) it satisfies my addiction without makin me pass out in a pool of my piss! bein in love is like goin flat broke and gettin kicked out of college (but where are we, though?) she’s like the dealer who’s trying to collect (what’s happeni–) and get all the payments she’s promised and when she speaks OHHH, when she speaks! where are we, man? oh, crap! [in the distance] I’m comin for you, Jon! I’ve gone too far again what do you mean? I didn’t wanna tell you this, but… [sentimental music] when I was in the 5th grade…I didn’t do my English homework for, like, 3 whole weeks my teacher gave a test on analogies–I failed so she cursed me and now every time I make a bad analogy…it comes true wait, what? that’s amazing–why don’t you do like…cool stuff with that? yeah, you’d think it be amazing, right? but it’s just not that easy! the roller coaster in the front yard, I tried it! teachin the cat French, I tried it but unfortunately it’s just not as easy as turning a light on and off [light buzz & crackle, irony ensuing] there you go, see? you owe me a lot of money, little man so you know what I gotta do actually, I really don’t know what it is you gotta do but if you direct me to an ATM, I might be able to [gut-punch] PUHÜHÖHØ an ATM? you think this is a joke, man? have you runnin rabid all over Crittenden County? while I’m lookin soft to all my customers? well, in my line of work…Customer Service 101… [switchblade activation] you gotta make…an example Jon–just get us out of here I can’t, man you all think this is a big joke? [stabbing, screaming] OH MY GOD well, your friend’s got a real funny laugh! that was a stabbing–get us out of here, Jon I can’t man, it’s not as simple as ordering a cup of coffee!!! [various screams] light or dark roast? MEDIUM, PLEASE!! could I get a band-aid? and some milk? uh, do you want me to leave room for half and half? that’d be really great, thanks just right there [juicy wound, band-aid application] listen, man…look, I’m sorry about all that don’t apologize, it was actually kind of incredible [sentimental harp] except for the basement, the basement was awful can we go back? you sure, man? you’re hurt pretty bad I don’t care–I’m hurt but we didn’t finish what we started please…please, man–this was just…this is so fucking incredible, man, we gotta go back okay, let’s…let’s finish this analogy let’s finish bein in love is like bein on drugs without the potential of dyin and when we touch (when they touch) OHH, when we touch (ahhhh) I can feel it get me high but I still can’t get enough and when we kiss (when they kiss) OHHH, when we kiss (ahhh) it’s at least as good as a dank-ass joint without makin me rob my mom at gunpoint bein in love is like bein on druhhhhgs so I know that’s kind of a long story, but, uh…main point is, I kind of like this one girl a bit cool did that guy flash us earlier? I think I didn’t really look back, but I thought– I think I saw the man’s parts that guy comes in like every week sometimes he just starts screaming like that I guess sometimes you just gotta let it out [jubilant shout] …be like “do you like comedy?” [jubilant shout] …do you like –would you say no? –do you like genitals? you can’t say… –you wanna see my genitals at the comedy club tonight? and they all learned something new that day and somethin new was learned (somethin new) and they all learned somethin new that day and somethin new was learned and they’re better than yesterday cuz somethin new was learned (SOMETHIN NEW!) make sure to see the whole music video here and you can get the songs right here for play on your toaster oven or radio of choice and a huge thanks to Mike Diva–he made the Marshmallow Clouds sequence I’ll put him right here THANKS MIKE, HOW’S THE VIEW FROM DOWN THERE?! he can’t answer–he’s trapped in a magic box that’s unfortunate that’s 3 magic boxes that’s a lot of boxes AND SOMETHIN NEW (okay, cut) WAS LEARNED (SOMETHIN NEW!)

100 comments

  1. JonTron has the voice of an angel and Mike Diva is magical. 👼🦄 ALL THE SONGS HERE – http://apple.co/2ficRxe
    replay buttons for the lazy –> Marshmallow Clouds 0:20
    SDGAF – 1:32
    The Hugshake® – 2:05
    Being in Love Is Like Being on Drugs – 3:43
    a stabbing – 5:51
    return to neverland – 6:45
    And They All Learned Something New 7:41
    Beginning 0:00
    AND BEST OF ALL, JON'S MUSIC VIDEO – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mItWfoNnUag

  2. Jon has so much potential as a voice actor. He's already an actor, technically, but just imagine him voicing a character from a family movie. He has so many fun inflections.

  3. Scrolling through Jon’s twitter feed like fucking what the fuck Jon’s alive but no he’s alive on twitter but no i want to watch this man eat cereal for 80 minutes straight, but no where the fuck is Jon, but no get the fuck off of twitter, but no-

  4. "So I see Erin's in a band now. M'kay. Oh, they do songs about video games? M'kay. Well, whaddabout THIS? YAH SEE? I CAN DO IT TOO! LOOK I'M DOIN THE THAAAAAANG"

  5. JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron JonTron vv

  6. i cant really tell what this video is supposed to be about…
    love?
    drugs?
    stabbing?
    failed handshakes?
    not giving a f*ck?
    cursed analogies?
    raspberry dragons?
    shooting mothers?
    not doing homework?
    bird crap?
    shouting at cafes?
    flashing at comedy clubs?
    who cares, Jon is singing.

  7. The first time I watched this I never noticed Michael getting stabbed and now I'm confused as to how that was never acknowledged in the short version.

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