Everybody in the comments say “hi Dallas” Hi everybody! [coughs] For today’s video I wanna talk a bit about makeup and wearing makeup and not wearing makeup But before we jump into the video I wanted to let you guys know that this year I’m teaming up with Telus And I’m gonna be hosting a Pride livestream this weekend, Sunday August 5th, on their Instagram account. I’ll have their Instagram linked in the description so that you guys can go follow them and be sure not to miss the livestream. Also, they’re doing this really incredible initiative where they’re selling these iRings [Ping!] Like these things? They stick on the back of your phone and help you like, hold your phone And for every single one sold, Telus is donating five dollars to Canadian LGBTQ+ charities so there’ll be a link in the description also if you wanna check them out and get one for yourself. Okay, onto the video! A couple of weeks ago I shared a bit about my own experiences with body dysmorphia. Now, body dysmorphia, even though the title of it has the word “body” in it, it doesn’t just involve your body like head down body, it can include your whole body, like head up body. Face body as well Working online, doing the job that I do, which is the best job in the world Please don’t take anything I’m about to say as me saying that this job is not the best job in the world, because it is, and I’m eternally grateful that I get to create for a living. However [laughs] because this is my job, because making videos, editing videos, posting videos, taking photos, editing photos, posting photos, of myself, is my job… I’m just staring at my own face. All day, every day. It has had a really big impact on my self-confidence and my self image. The image that I have of myself in my head is so much more than just my self that I’ve seen in pictures, or the me that I see when I look in the mirror. It is the me that I have seen from every single angle, in every single different type of lighting, from the front, from the back, from the sides, on video, all the time. Try to imagine that instead of just looking in the mirror to get ready for school or work every day, and then maybe you see yourself in the mirror in the bathroom, and then you come home from work and maybe you see yourself in the mirror when you’re washing your face or something. Imagine staring at your own face, every day, all day. [Laughs] For years! That’s my experience, that’s– that’s what I do. Because I’m editing myself, I’m editing myself in videos, I’m editing myself in photos, I’m listening to my own stupid voice! [laughs] Constantly! Anyway, that was a tangent, that is not what I’m meant to be talking about in this video. What I’m trying to say is that my image in my mind of my own face is totally warped. And I know that. And so this whole thing led to me being completely and totally dependent on makeup. I discovered makeup when I was in university, I never really wore makeup before that. I did like eyeliner and mascara, some concealer, that was about it throughout junior high and high school, and then, in university, I discovered foundation! And hoo boy, did we just go off the deep end after that! [Laughs] At first I just used makeup– Oh [laughs] speaking of makeup… I wanted to like be putting on makeup while I made this video and I’m just chatting. At first when I started wearing more makeup, it was just fun. It was just playing with different colours, and learning about makeup. But that quickly evolved into only finding myself attractive and only feeling confident when I was wearing a full face of makeup. And this just kind of got worse and worse. Until– I think it was November of last year when I did that video, “Quitting Makeup”. I hit a point where I had just had enough. And I decided to go cold turkey, seven days, no makeup. Because before that, I wouldn’t go to the grocery store without putting makeup on. I would at least do concealer, eyebrows, I would put on some kind of foundation, and then like, a little bit of bronzer, and a little bit of highlighter, and what just turned into a little bit of everything. Meaning, a full face of makeup. To go to the grocery store! I was uncomfortable around Dallas if I wasn’t wearing makeup. DALLAS! And so I stopped, I decided to quit, I quit cold turkey. And it was the best thing that I could’ve done. Since that video, I have been becoming more and more comfortable with my own bare face. I barely wear foundation now, like, ever. The last few videos that you’ve seen from me, I haven’t been wearing foundation. I have been wearing makeup, but I haven’t been wearing foundation. So my first tip on how to become more confident without makeup on is to stop wearing makeup. Like, just stop! Challenge yourself and just quit for like seven days or however long you want to do it. One day, even, if seven days seems like way too much. I have been just continuously coming up with little challenges for myself. I remember at Buffer Festival, last year, I took my makeup off in front of someone who had never even seen me without makeup on before. Which might sound silly, but for me, there is a big distinction between somebody simply seeing you without makeup on and someone seeing you go from full face of makeup to no makeup. Because in my mind, the contrast is so stark that I feel like I feel like I’m gonna shock them. Or like, I’m gonna take my makeup off and they’re gonna be appalled, or something. It was actually Stevie. I wonder if she even remembers that. I’m gonna call her. [ringtone] [Stevie:] Hello! Hi! I don’t know if you remember this, but last year at Buffer Festival it was you, me and Bree hanging out in our hotel room one evening after one of the parties. That was the first time that I had ever, like, taken my makeup off in front of someone who had never seen me without makeup on before. [Stevie:] Oh my God, I remember you taking your makeup off! You do?! [Stevie:] Yeah! Thanks for letting me be comfortable enough to do that. [Stevie:] Aw, thanks so much for telling me! [Stevie:] That’s so cool! That was sweet, she’s so sweet. The next thing was posting a photo and like, not acknowledging that I wasn’t wearing any makeup. And I remember this too! because it was a photo that Dallas had taken of me after he and I had gone for a run. Because I’m also on this like, fitness journey [laughs] You guys, there’s just lots of changes happening, lots of really positive changes. Dallas and I had gone for a run, and I was feeling really proud and really strong and so he took this picture of me after our run. And I *hated* the picture. He took like fifty, and I hated all of them. But I decided that I was going to post the photo to Twitter anyway. Because… F–[bleep] that! [Laughs] It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter. Like, he said that he liked the pictures and that he thought they were good pictures so, who cares? Who cares? Does that make any sense? Me posting those photos anyway was me saying “F you” to this part of my brain that sees pictures of myself and hates them. So I posted it anyway. And it felt freaking awesome! [laughs] And then next, just recently, I started posting Instagram stories with no makeup on, because the truth is that now I don’t wear makeup in my day-to-day life. I don’t wear it! It went from just not wearing it at home, which yes, I went through a period of time where I would put makeup on just to be at home, because I was *that* uncomfortable with my own face. So what other tips do I have? Number one, with the whole foundation thing, the reason I was so addicted to foundation was because my face, I felt like it was a totally different colour from my body. And that was because I was always wearing foundation! So sun could never actually get to my skin! I broke that cycle using this stuff. This is the Vita Liberata phenomenal tan. It’s just a self-tanner. It’s natural, it’s vegan, it’s cruelty-free. It’s meant for your body, but I would mix it with my moisturizer and put it all over my face and it would give some colour to my skin so that I felt more comfortable without foundation. The other huge tip that I wanted to give you guys: pay attention to who you follow on social media. Let’s say on Instagram, if you just follow a bunch of people who wear full glam, tons of makeup, there’s nothing wrong with that, but hear me out: if what you’re surrounding yourself with and what you’re consuming is makeup, makeup, makeup, then yeah, what you’re doing is training your brain to see makeup as beauty. On the other hand, if you start following people who don’t care about makeup, if you start following people who don’t wear makeup, or people who advocate for loving yourself no matter what, or balance, or whatever it is, those are the things that you’re training your brain to care about. So for me, following less makeup accounts and more… wellness accounts, for example has been a big help. And then lastly, if possible, stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Stop looking at yourself anywhere. If you can like, get out and go camping, or go hiking or something, spend a day away from your phone, away from the computer, away from mirrors. And do something, some activity that you find fulfilling, You’re in less of a mental space for thinking and caring about what you look like and what you think other people think you look like. And remember to be absorbed with whatever it is you’re doing. And that’s it! I hope that you found this video helpful, I hope that you understand where I’m coming from, I hope that those of you who do understand and who maybe feel the same way don’t feel so alone. You are beautiful, with makeup or without makeup. And you don’t have to pick just one! You don’t have to wear makeup every single day, and decide “I’m a person that wears makeup every single day”, and you don’t have to quit makeup entirely and never wear makeup ever again. Life is not meant to be lived in absolutes. It’s all about balance. That is it for this video! I hope that you guys enjoyed it Thank you so much for watching, I love you very much And I will see you next week. Bye! [Kissy noises] [One final kissy noise] I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I’m sorry [Whispering] I’m sorry

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