Microcaine: A Revolutionary New Drug for Women | Kingpin Katie

Microcaine: A Revolutionary New Drug for Women | Kingpin Katie


(upbeat electronic music) (heavy rock music) – Hello. My name is Katie Marovich,
and thank you all for joining me at today’s koom party. And a special thank you to
our lovely host, Gloria. (women chatting and applauding) – Thank you so much, thank you. (laughing) – Yes. Now some of you might
be asking, what is koom? Is it just your initials
with two random Os arbitrarily shoved into
the middle? (laughs) Oh ladies, yes. (laughing) It is. But it is so much more than that. – Mm-hmm. – Koom is a lifestyle brand. But it’s not just a lifestyle brand. – Hmm. Koom is also a wellness brand. – Hmm. – But here’s the thing, it’s
not just a wellness brand. – Wow. – Koom is also a health brand. – Oh. – Health, wellness, lifestyle. H, W, L. That spells koom. – Hmm, right. – I’m here to share with you koom’s revolutionary new product. An ancient organic substance used for centuries by indigenous people. – I love indigenous people. – I saw a documentary
about indigenous people. – And it’s also, uh, has
gluten free ingredients. (sighs) And it’s dairy free. – I mean, you can’t have dairy. – Yeah, dairy free. – Hmm. – Microcaine will give
you a feeling of euphoria. It will make you stronger, and more alert. On Microcaine, you’re gonna
wanna dance all night long. (laughing) – [Woman] But dance? – It will make you want to come up with ridiculous premises for 80’s movies. And it has been known to
make people jump off roofs. Into pools. (laughing) Into pools. (laughing) – I’m sorry, it kinda sounds
like you’re selling us cocaine? – Let her finish. Did I burst a blood vessel in my eye?
– No, you didn’t. – How’s your temperature? – It’s high. (clears throat) – Anyway, microcaine is about connecting that inner innerness. It’s not about being skinny, but microcaine makes you skinny. (laughing) It does. – I guess I’ll take some. (laughs) – Even the rich and famous, shh, stays between us, use microcaine. I’m talking about Robert Downey
Jr., Kate Moss, Hugh Grant. (laughing) – Hubba hubba. – And Mary Berry. – From The Great British Bake Off? – No, I’m sorry, Marion Barry. The former mayor of the
District of Columbia. – Okay, yeah. – I’m sorry, is no one else
hearing what I’m hearing? – Shut up, stop it, Jill! – I’m perspirating. – No, no, no, no. – Nobody likes a party pooper. So maybe we just, we just
quiet down a little bit. – [Gloria] That’s right. – Today I have a wide variety of products for you to choose from. Here is our original bottle. Ni, ni, ni, ni, ni. (laughs) And here is our newer model,
which is exactly the same, but it’s way more money, and it’s just in a different bottle. – Yeah, I want that. – White women. – Thanks for watching that
promo of Kingpin Katie. If you liked it, I’m gonna blow your mind. There are full episodes you
can watch right now on Dropout. I normally don’t like the things I’m in. No, no, I am proud of myself. Go to dropout.tv, and start
your free trial today. (grunting) Cheryl, what are you doing? – I was gonna roundhouse kick him. – No, you clearly wanted me to call it off in the middle of that. – No, I was getting ready. – No. – You have to take multiple steps.

100 comments

  1. GET ADDICTED. Come hang with Katie in our DISCORD. Sign up for DROPOUT: http://bit.ly/2JF2Wz7

    Download the INTERNATIONAL app here: http://bit.ly/2KOHLyr

  2. Katie katie katie… the POKEMON known as MEW TWO has ARMOR and is available in gyms NOW!

    or so i heard. You didnt hear that from me.

  3. These ladies could use some of my kuum, I mean koom. Keeps you young, is dairy & gluten free, rich in minerals and amino acids. With a nice flavour profile.

  4. I always thought that GOOP was a made-up word combining "goo" and "poop" and never realized that it was actually Gwyneth Paltrow's initials with two random O's in between lol

  5. what if you did a sketch about people that are trying to save the environment and use tiny cloth embroidered bags for their cocaine

  6. Mmm this series would be perfect if they just toned down katie annoying ass "partner". She is the actual fucking worst. I love watching this on dropout, too bad dropout doesn't have a comment ability.

  7. Omg kill me, you know stupid bitches be doing this all the time. Probably in California most of the time

  8. Why the heck upload unfinished stuff to Youtube? You are sponsoring another platform than youtube and forcing youtubers to watch trailers? This is ridiculous lol, thumbs down

  9. "i love indigenous people.." "i saw a documentary on indigenous people" uidskfnuiwenu i screamed thats the funniest line in this whole skit

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