Mike Stoklasa on Previously Recorded (all appearances)

Mike Stoklasa on Previously Recorded (all appearances)


All right. Someone, someone in the chat.
I’m not gonna pay any, just so you know we’re probably gonna pay very little
attention to the chat, but I just saw a comment that said that we should get
Mike in here, too. We should let you know that Mike was here earlier, and all he
was doing was trying to distract Rich Evans and make his gameplay the hardest
possible. That fucker. No, we’re, uh, you can just keep talking if you want. Keep talking? I dunno what to say. I’m an idiot. Hey, Rich? Yeah? Can I get my Fleshlight back from you? You’ve been, you borrowed it for, like, I dunno, like six months ago. I, I’d make some kind of joke, but I don’t even know if that picked up in the first place. Unless it’s Mike fucking with me. I don’t know what was audible. Power Stone! All right. We’re, we’re back with Power Stone now. We have, we have Power Stone 2, which is a four-player game. Okay, we have a, we have a four-player game. Uh, it’s a fighting game. And we, we actually have Mike in here. Mike, do you wanna play Power Stone with us? No. I do not wanna play any video games. All right. I’m leaving. Okay. I guess it’ll just be three of us. Uh, yeah. Bye, Mike. All right. It was nice seeing you. Buh-bye. All right. I need a controller. Bye. He just told everybody to go fuck off. Um, yes. If you order a Space Cop poster, you can have anyone sign it. You know, except for, like, Abraham Lincoln, or somebody… You know, that is so strange. You were thinking the same thing? That was exactly what I was gonna say. Abraham Lincoln? I was gonna say, except for Abraham Lincoln. He’s dead, was the next thing that popped into my head. But not just, like, dead famous person, Abraham Lincoln? Abraham Lincoln, specific dead person. Huh. You and Rich. Huh. Mental transference, or just…bad jokes. My stupid is rubbing off on everybody. Do you think that maybe you wanna let Rich play? Damn, girl! Just take away my manhood. Just like that. That’s fine. Yeah, I think this is a job for a real man, Jack. Oh. Damn. Davy Crockett isn’t here, so… So we need Rich Evans. We need Rich Evans. That’s weird, I was just gonna say Davy Crockett. Uh oh, Rich. Now Jack’s suckiness is infecting Rich. Sorry, man Sorry, dog. I’m doing all right. Yeah, dog. Y-, you’re the dog, dog. You’re the man now, dog. What was that? Was that Sean Connery? YTMND. Mike, Mike’s down with the old memes. I’m in a cutscene again. Yeah, cuz this is because now video game developers think that everyone’s an idiot and so they stop you from playing the game to tell you how to play the game. Oh, my god. Yeah. I haven’t done anything yet. I know. This is really annoying. Is there a way to shut it off, like, permanently? That would be nice. See if there’s a… um… just, I guess you have to skip. There’s no… Jay, you’re fucking it up. The game is fucking it up, Mike. He’s playing it wrong. This looks pretty exciting. It would be if I… Oh, fuck. Oh, uh, Mike? There’s a question for you. How, how does it feel to be so talented… …but to have less talented people like me around? Mike, Mike has a knowing smile. That’s not funny. I thought it was funny. It was funny enough where I said it out loud. Mm… Doesn’t really make sense, I guess, but… Oh, get out of there! Why’d you jump next to it? I didn’t mean to. Jay, stop sucking. Don’t jump next to the bomb. There we go. Augh! Who’s that, oh, who’s that guy? That’s, uh… Glomgold. Glomgold McAngus? Angus. Something-heart. Glomgold something-heart. Oh, okay. Is that Scrooge McDuck’s, um… Nemesis, yeah. Yeah, the Scottish guy? Yeah. With the kilt. Yeah. And they’re both, they’re both Scottish guys. Scrooge is Scot, of course. Sounded like Sean Connery a little? Yeah. And a great TV show. That was amazing. It really was. Oh, no. Here comes Mike. What up? Damn. Don’t jump. What am I supposed to do? Just avoid his teeth? Yeah. Avoid his teeth, yeah. That’s it? That’s it. Oh. No, see. Well, duck. When he, yeah. Okay. Okay. I’m getting it. The devil is my hair-do? What? The devil is my hair-do? Oh, no. Oh, my god. You guys. I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna get your jams up but Mike is now reading the chat. So, in about ten seconds, people are gonna
hear me say that Jay’s… They don’t like 2017. Everyone likes my beatboxing. They do. I mean… It’s a talent that not many have. Oh, no. I’m not gonna make it. Oh, I made it. Yeah. Good job. This is getting intense. You can do it. Fuck. Isn’t, wasn’t the snow monster the final guy? No. No, Dracula is. Oh… There’s a Dracula monster. Oh, I like that he has money. Is that what his quest is, just to get more money? That’s usually what Scrooge McDuck wants. Remember, duck. Oh, that’s cool. Oh, my god. Oh, my lord. I look, I, I look forward to playing Dr. Mario. What does based Mike mean? We don’t know. We keep asking them what based means, and they don’t tell us. Hey, U-G-B-M-M-13…. What’s based Mike mean? Respond now. Respond now. It’s likely a 4chan thing, would be my guess. Oh… Dammit. I no longer like DuckTales. Just cuz you can’t beat the end boss? But he’s the end boss, he’s the super boss. Based means good or great. Okay. Why don’t you just write good? Based equals good? That’s so weird. Oh, where’s the thing? Oh, my god, I’m not gonna make it. Oh, no. Where is the thing? Why are you failing, Jay? Because… Why are you always failing? It’s my lot in life. Those are some well-choreographed bats. They’re magic bats. They’re following Duck Dracula’s dark power. If only they had two more bats, they could kill Scrooge McDuck for sure. Yeah, really easily. Rich picked up on that. Dammit. Oh, okay. Based is a rap thing. Lil B. Oh, there you go. Mm-hmm. Jay, get good. Nope. That’s my favorite. Jay sucks at this, too? Who sucks at this, too? You. Apparently, you suck at this. Yeah. It’s true. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you just got toothed. I don’t know, Jay. You just got toothed. I don’t know. What is the most violent Disney movie? That’s a good question. Is that a good question? I don’t know, Treasure Planet? Aladdin? Is Aladdin violent? Is it Bambi, cuz they, the hunters murder the mother? Yeah… That’s a possibility. Do you count Pixar stuff? Uh, gonna go with the traditional animated Disney films, yeah. Beauty and the Beast? I, I’ve never seen that one. You never saw Beauty and the Beast? I think I did. They, they kill some shit. Who do they kill in Beauty and the Beast? Don’t they kill the beast? No. Well, he comes, spoiler alert, he comes back, but… Jay did not finish watching Breaking Bad. He can’t get past the first five episodes. No, I wanna keep watching it, I just haven’t had the chance to. Jack can’t get past the first five episodes. Yeah, Jack’s the one that doesn’t. Jack, Jack does not… No, I wanna keep watching it, I just haven’t had the chance to. Jay wants to watch more. I’m too busy, uh, dying at DuckTales. Take the controller away from Jay. No, he’s– I’m doing okay now. Give me a break. He’s doing great, you leave him alone. It only took me twenty times. Would I prefer Breaking Bad end at season 4? My, my deal with Breaking Bad for anyone who has not seen the pilot of Breaking Bad is that Walter White comes to his decision to… cook meth… really quickly. I know, I’m sorry. Explain this. You gotta get past that. I know, I know. You gotta move past that. There’s so much good things. I, I know that it’s good. Oh, you went the wrong way, bat. We can’t discuss too many details about it for spoiler purposes. I will, but, but so he, he decides to sell meth very easily. And so I can’t… You gotta accept the premise. I can’t be with him as a character because, like …there’s, there’s, there’s no meat there for me. So, I will watch it eventually. It is so, it is so… Yes, every season of Breaking Bad is a perfect 10/10. Is that true? Every season? Every Breaking Bad, is completely flawless… except, um… except for the failed subplot where Marie was a kleptomaniac. Mm. Was that a thing? It made no sense. It was very, very short. Mm-hmm. And I was, like, what? And then, um… …they, they went…hey-y-y! What up, bitches? Uh-oh. Uh-oh… Jessi’s drunk. Dammit. I’m bad at this. This seems like it should be the easiest. We’re talking about Breaking Bad. Yes, I know, I get it that he’s dying of cancer. But, like, one day, one, in one scene– Shut up, Jack. Breaking Bad is awesome. And then it’s, like, an edit, and he’s like, I guess I should make meth. You know what, anyone that doesn’t like Breaking Bad is a homo. What do you have to say about Harrison Ford breaking his leg on the Star Wars set? That’s a shame. Um, you know what, he is a grandpa. And these are the things that happen to grandpa. I said, Breaking Han. Oh, I voted… Hey, come on now. Hey, come on now. No, Mike… That’s, y-, yeah… Did you guys like, I did my Jesse Pinkman impression when I came in. I said, what up, bitches. Oh, yeah. I guess you knew we were talking about Breaking Bad. Here’s the question, though. Are they writing it in… Are they, or are they rewriting the movie, or is the first movie basically on hold? I think they’re trying to figure out what they wanna do. Yeah, I dunno. I’m assuming they’re gonna shoot around it. Aughh! Did I beat him? Did you beat him? Is there more game? Did you beat him? Please tell me I beat the game. Oh, that’s a, that’s a neat death. Yeah, that’s pretty cool. He turned to ash. The controller’s vibrating. Jack is a giant homo. Yeah. Who said that? That’s true. Oh, is that cuz of what I said? No, it’s because, uh, cuz I can’t get past the first couple episodes of Breaking Bad. I’m, I will eventually. You’re welcome for coming back and talking some sense. Jack, you’re crazy. Breaking Bad is the best show ever. Someone’s right, Jessi. They said Pinkman never uses bitch in plural form. Oh, yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry. Bitch. Did I win the game? Did you win the game? Oh. Is there more? I think it’s just cutscenes, Jay. Cutscenes, skip the cutscenes. Oh, there’s more. There’s more. Oh, no. You gotta escape. Oh, I remember this. I remember this. That’s right. Jay needs to get some more muscle memorization. Jesse concurs. BAM! Terrence Malick is a hack. Someone’s just saying that to… …to, to get under your skin, Jay. I, I have no, uh… …uh, feelings on Terrence Malick. Oh, it’s not over yet, Jay. Dammit. My favorite character on Deep Space Nine was Quark. Can this be done? I’m not joking. Jesus Christ. Quark may be my favorite character in all of Star Trek. I would imagine that a beached whale smells pretty terrible. Yeah, death probably smells worse than poop. Oh, for crying out loud. I’ve never smelled a dead body, but they say it’s the worst smell in the world. I could imagine. Well… How would you rate DuckTales, Jay? Um, it was still fun. I was getting frustrated at the end there, but it’s still fun. Jack, expand your dong. Done and done. What? What? Sex weirdo? That’s not me, that’s Rich. Yeah, that’s Rich. Well, he’s a, he’s a sex pervert. He’s a sex pervert. Not a sex weirdo. That’s a movie. Sex Weirdo is a movie. From the director of, uh… Crazy Ethel. Crazy Fat Ethel. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember we listed all those videos. Yeah. That was a classic Best of the Worst. Yeah. Sex Weirdo. And then the final movie was…The Slut. Yes. The Slut. Can we get all those movies? Um, one of them was avail-, I think… Oh, what was it called? Someone sent us a link to one of ’em… …on that list. It’d just be softcore porn. Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun. Oh. Unless it’s horribly inept. Yeah. Where they don’t know how to film softcore. Don’t talk about Jessie’s Girl. That song sucks. Oh, no. Everyone I’ve ever known, male or female, named Jesse hates that song, and I can understand it. That song fucking blows. Do you hate that song because it implies you’re a lesbian? No, I hate that song because the lyrics are fucking dumb. And Rick Springfield is an… I don’t know, he’s a… Let me, let me think of the best way to describe him. Hack. He’s a fucking idiot. So… Rick Springfield’s in the chat room right now. Oh, you know what? That’s what he’s doing. Maybe… He’s got nothing else going on. Yeah. Try writing a better song, dummy. How about that? He can’t, he’s got that one. Thank you. That song is terrible, and I’m not a Jessie. Thank you. That song is the worst. Should I just leave the PlayStation 2 here? Yeah. Rich hates everyone? No. He doesn’t. No. That’s not true. Aww, snap. I, I support marriage equality. Hello? Hello? Hello? Dr. Mario? Not, not now. We’ll get… I will play Dr. Mario and beatbox next time. Oh, beatbox? Beatbox whilst you play Dr. Mario? Yeah. What? We need, how– I can’t wait to play Dr. Mario. If you, like, one out out ten, ten being you’re the greatest Dr. Mario’est ever… Oh, I don’t even remember. I think I was pretty good. Yeah? I mean, do we need to bring in a Dr. Mario ringer to face you, to challenge you? Ooh, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t boast about my Dr. Mario skills. Okay. I, I, I may just be average. I can’t remember. Okay. I have access to a Dr. Mario expert. Who is that? My wife. Oh… She’s crazy. Can we play it on the classic Nintendo? Absolutely. Okay. Cuz that’s– Well, I don’t know if that’s two-player. I think we have to play it on Super Nintendo. I might have the Wii version. Is it two-player? Uh, yeah. Okay. I used to play on it. Yeah, Wii version, that’s, that’s with the, the Wiimotes So, vicious… Um, when will you do a Best of the Worst livestream? Never. Never, because that would be the most boring’est thing that you ever seen in your life. Oh, my god. Yeah, you don’t realize how much editing that to all the good bits adds… Yeah. …to Best of the Worst. Yeah. The editing is half the battle of Best of the Worst. Mm-hmm. Six to eight hours of viewing footage. And, and for nearly six to eight hours, it’s us just being miserable. Well, depending on the movie. Depending on the movie. No, there are just long stretches where we don’t say or do anything. You guys would hate it. Trust us. You’d be like, why am I watching this shit. Yeah. And then you do something else. And then the episode would come out, and you’d probably have bad things associated with it in your brain. You wouldn’t even watch the regular episode. It would just suck all around. What? What? So, are we, are we pretty much, are we calling it, Jack? What did you say? Let’s go. Oh. Do you wanna leave? Well, yeah. Okay. Okay. Mike wants to leave. We’re leaving. I, I think we’re done. Yeah. I think that this is all done. We’re all done. There’s a lot of credits to this, this shitty game. You didn’t like the game, the DuckTales? I didn’t, I didn’t play it. If we streamed the films while we were talking over it… then it would seem like another show… that was popular… Mm-hmm. a while back. So, that seems pointless. Our show is different than that. Jay is acing the credits. That’s truth. It’s the one thing he did right. He’s nailing it. Nailing it. Okay, well, hey everybody, thanks for coming out. We appreciate you watching this stream. And we’re gonna go now. Unless you have any last questions to ask. Ask them now. Get in quickly. And you better all ask them at the same time so we can read all of them. Type faster. You guys gotta type faster. Oh, my god. Go. Type faster. Based. I don’t get it. Based. Based is good. It means good or great. This is the same people that told us to level up resistance. That’s true. Oh, wait. We have to stay now because this person just got here. Fuck you. Maybe you should have been here twelve hours ago. Yeah, no shit. We started at fucking six. We started at 6:30, guys. We do this all the time. It’s seven, it’s seven hours. The credits are still going on this game? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Good lord. They’re longer than movie credits. Mm-hmm. That’s common these days… Really? …in games, oh yeah. Based Rich Evans. That’s right. Who has phone? What? I can’t believe these are going so fast. I know, that’s why I told everyone to send it at the same time, cuz we wouldn’t be able to read them. My balls are on fire? Ace of based. Um… Smoke weed 4/20. You wanna put on the screen, and start logging out everything here? Um… We’re, oh, it’s ready to go. It’s ready to go. Well, listen, we’re having a conversation about an old comedy show, so… Nothing’s more important than that. Nothing’s more important. That’s true. That’s true. I know, I’m just playing. Oh, okay. I didn’t know if you were gonna do a bit. Sometimes I like to check that we have the battery in the switched-off position. That’s a good idea. Cuz a lot of times we just leave them on. Yeah. Wastes the batteries? I didn’t know if you were gonna do, like, a close-up mic bit. No, no, no. Okay. Just farting around. Sure. Oh, um… Oh, my god. Here’s a message for you, Mike. Mike, your woman is getting out of line. You need to put her in her place. What is she doing that’s getting her out of line? I don’t know. She’s trying to vote. Oh, cuz she was trying to vote? I’m trying to vote. Yeah. Put me back in the kitchen. Well, she votes how you tell her to, right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. That’s fine. Well… I stay home and I make sandwiches, and then Mike says, I’ll put your vote in for you. And I say, okay. So, that’s usually how it goes, right? Yeah. She does, she, she believes me. Yeah. You want that, Jack, you want that light back up here? Yeah, this is kind of… The comfortable ambient lighting, as opposed to the harsh fluorescent? Uh… It is kind of bright in here. You know, it does not bother me. Student. I’ve never played this game before. I wanna let you guys to know that. Every press matters. Button mashing will kill you. Oh, it’s a rhythm thing. It’s like a rhythm thing. Oh… Well, but it’s not really, cuz they just send you your zones. They like his beatboxing. Everyone knows I have no rhythm. Aww… That’s nice. Unless you’re Mike. Thanks, Pie_460. Thank you for saying something nice. Awww…. Is it just A and B? Uh, X and B, yeah. You know what I mean, yeah. Someone wants to know about Nannoo. Ugh. What’s their to know? She’s, she’s, she’s dead. The first thing to know is its N-A-N-N-O-O. Nannoo. Not nanu nanu. They like my beatboxing. Everybody does. No. Good. Nobody does. Nobody does. Say this out loud. Tell Jack that. Jack, remove your skeletons. What does that mean? Thank you, Mike. Oh, is that in this game? No, it’s a gag. No, it’s a a running thing. It’s a running gag. People give us bad advice. That was… That was bad advice we got during a stream. And it caught. That’s pretty lazy character design there. Yeah. Is it supposed to look like a bathroom… like… …men and women’s sign from a bathroom? It’s kind of what it looks like. Yeah, I mean, it’s just… Is that just a kind of stylistic thing? I guess. I have… It’s stylistically designed to be that way? Oh, my god, Mike. I can’t believe you just said that. Oh, sorry. I was looking for the cough button, and I didn’t see one. No, there’s no cough button. Yeah, when can we play Katamari? No, that’s gonna be next time. Oh, is it? Yeah. Jessi said next time. If you, if you wanna do it right now. No, I can’t. She’s gotta go. I have to leave, but I’ll be back. I’ll only leave for a little bit. How long is a little bit? I don’t know. However long it takes me to get tense up. I’m just kidding. It’s a joke. That’s a joke. That’s just a joke. Rich, someone wants to know about Windy City Thunderbolts. Really? Yeah. I, I like the Windy City Thunderbolts. I used to, I used to live, like, five minutes from where they’d play. Um, I went to games all the time I, I, I enjoy baseball quite a bit. Minor League Baseball is the best, though, because you can get front row tickets for, like, ten bucks. Oh, my god. You just lost half your audience… …talking about Minor League Baseball. I don’t give a shit. I like Minor League Baseball. Let the man talk about Minor League Baseball. I have not had any drinks this evening. I saw a championship-winning game, and the shit only cost me ten bucks. It’s great. Do you have a light saber? Yeah. I’m, I’m just pressing… Guys. This… That’s kind of a lie in the title. It’s called One, you know, Finger Punch, right? I suppose, technically, I could press two buttons with one… I guess I am only using my thumbs, so… Oh, yeah, okay. Rich is a White Sox guy, for those who ask. Yeah. Yeah, the Cubs suck. And the Brewers don’t excite me. And Rich is a Green Bay Packers fan, as well. Uh, no. Yes, he is. No, I’m not. Yeah, he is. No, I’m not. Spoilers, he is. Super spoilers, I’m not. Photoshop challenge, everyone. Oh, no. Put Rich Evans in Green Bay Packers gear Why would you do that to me? Post it. Cuz you know they will. I don’t think anybody will, actually. I don’t think anybody will do it. Photoshop you in Green Bay Packers gear… …and then post it on our Facebook page? I just don’t think anyone will actually do that. Oh, my god, Mike. If, if you do it, I will hate you. Yaaay. This is gonna be fun. Mm-hmm. Is this getting better, Jack? Oh, no. I just meant the people photoshopping you is gonna be fun. There will not be a million pictures of you in Packers attire on our Facebook page. No. I read a book recently, and I won’t say what it is. I read a book recently that was so bad… …that it made me not want to read books anymore. What is that? Is that a… a body… That’s Body Rap? Mm-hmm. You’re supposed put these things around your leg. Uh-huh. And arms, and then you go like this. And, and, like, like beatbox, but with that? That’s terrifying. Where did you find that? Nowhere. That guy keeps killing me. Every time. Why does he turn invisible? So you can see through him, the camera. So you can see the names. It’s so realistic. There’s apparently a way to turn that off. Yeah. Oh, I– I guess it could get confusing where his limbs are. Yeah. Oh, that’s throughout the game? Oh, my goodness. That’s a nice theater. Are you kidding me? It only holds, like, twenty people. It’s one of the smaller houses. Sure. Yeah. I suppose. It’s like one of the, uh, one of the side theaters at The Oriental. Oh, okay. Yeah. Except for, fuck those, cuz those are add-ons. Were they? Yeah. Like, did they take away… …no, they didn’t. Cuz that main theater has, like, the… …balcony, the side balconies, and stuff. It has those original columns. That was the original theater. They might’ve added the side theaters, but they didn’t take anything away from the main theater. It’s got the, the, uh, The NeverEnding Story, uh… …people. Oh, the, the statue things? The glowing eyes. The red glowing eyes. Yeah. The, the big boob statues. Yeah. With the laser eyes. Yeah. Absolutely. Can I play Dr. Mario? It’s been, like, like, six weeks of streams. Mike, we can– We never play Dr. Mario. We keep telling you, no. I know you, you ask us every week. You weren’t even invited tonight. I don’t know why you dragged me here You ask us every week… when we can play Dr. Mario with you… …and every week we tell you no. I wish you would get the hint. Aww… It’s true. You can follow me. Don’t worry. Can I, um… What do we need for Dr. Mario? A Super Nintendo, is that what that was on? You need the game. A regular Nintendo. Regular Nintendo. Regular Nintendo, or it’s on my WiiU. You can, you can buy it on a WiiU, and can also play it there Okay. Or we can emulate it tonight. Or we can emulate it tonight. Oh, you’re against it, aren’t you? I am a little against emulation. And we’re doing other things. We’re playing games tonight. You would have to download it… Yeah. …and stuff, right? Well, some other time. Some other…I mean, no. May-, how about, how about maybe? All right. I’ll think about it. You’ll think about it. Think about accepting maybe. Mm. Well… Whoa. Whoa. An octo-citizen. It’s fucked. Yeah. It’s inherently amusing. Does he, does he have eight legs and arms, or just… Two, two are down the pant legs. One are down each sleeve. And then two are the mustache. Ohh… Yeah, it’s trying to look like a mustache when it’s actually his tentacles. Why doesn’t he have two in each arm and leg? There’s two down each leg. I– Yeah. It’s cuz they wanted everyone to have a mustache for a face. Two, four, six, eight. Yeah. Two, two for one leg. Two for the other leg, so that’s four for the legs. Yeah. Two for the arms. And then… Uh… Then a mustache. Only, only one for each arm. Yeah, I was saying, two for each arm. Makes sense, but… But then, they wanted to give him a comical mustache. To, so he could disguise himself as a person. Yeah. Yeah, it makes him blend in more. He, he should’ve had, like, a tupee on, or something… We have, it could keep falling off, like… That’s, like, the first thing that happens. The tupee just falls off at the start of every level. He, he starts moving… Oh, hi friends. Hi, friends. Oh, that was Mike. Mike typed, hi friends. Hi, friends. It’s so neat. You can talk to people on the computer. What is Angry Video Game Nerd Movie? Oh, Jesus. What is that? Oh, people are expecting us to talk about that at some point. No, but what is it? It’s a movie… …by the Angry Video Game Nerd. That sounds like I don’t wanna watch it. Have you heard of the Angry Video Game Nerd, Mike? Jessi, they love your hair. Nobody can– They can’t see you, but they love it. Nobody has seen it. Uh, yes, John_Kilo3, Mike is the one typing in the chat now. What are you typing in the chat? Oh, just, I asked what based meant… …even though I think we discussed that last time. Yeah, it, it means best, or good… …I believe. Also, you could just talk to them if you wanted to not type. I mean, just a– I don’t want to interfere with the gameplay. No worries. Yeah, I don’t think you’re gonna interfere with much. All right. Hey, you found the tie. I found my tie. Yaaay. I was just fucking with the cake. Um, now what happens? Oh, now I have to find my tux. Oh, I’m actually supposed to be doing other things. Yeah. Don’t, don’t knock the cake over. I already did. Oh, no. Oh, Mike’s watching– Oh, you’re watching the delayed version, Mike. Oh. Which is the delayed thing. That’s the delay from the livestream. Oh… Oh, that’s a good question. What has been everyone’s favorite video off of the Wheel of the Worst? I mean, for me, it’s SOS. But I’ve only been on two episodes. There’s different categories of favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Like, genuinely most enjoyable. Most entertaining because of… Yeah. Most entertainingly bad. I don’t know. Hmm… Probably the last ones. Yeah? We had a lot of fun during The Osteoperosis– That’s a big part of it is… Yeah. …is how much fun we have watching it. I was thinking about the Santa Claus movie. The movie itself isn’t great. Yeah. Well, that’s not the wheel, though. Stop. We laughed a lot… But you know what I mean. …during The Osteoperosis Dance. Yeah. I found my stuff. You did. We did not laugh a lot, like, during The Dance of Birth. No. It made for an entertaining– It made for a good discussion. Yeah. I’ve gotten further than anybody so far. I– Quit drinking. You’re getting drunk. Don’t tell Jessi, but I am the undisputed QWOP champ. Of, of RLM? Of QWOP. Of QWOP? Jessi’s coming in, and I think she’s very angry at me. I heard you. She almost, she almost threw her Jaegermeister at me. No, I wouldn’t do that. You’re the undisputed queefing champ? QWOP, Mike. The game’s called QWOP. They actually named the game QWOP? Yes. QWOP. Q-W-O-P. Cuz those are the only buttons you press. Like QWERTY? Yeah. Yes. I never wanna play this game. You don’t. You don’t. No. Oh… You know what, can I just say, all these games, like… …you’re, you’re yelling, like, you made it, you moved the character. All these games sound so frustrating. Well, that’s part of it, Mike, is you set up a chall– I don’t ever remember having difficulty, like, moving a character in games I used to play. Well, that, it’s, it’s, it’s… Like, I, I moved up the stairs. Mike, it’s a recent gimmick. Yeah. That it’s difficult to control the character? Yeah. And the objectives are, like, simple things. Oh. So that’s a thing? Well, that’s one or two games. Well, like, in any game, you set up a false barrier… Oh, no. …and getting over that barrier is winning, right? And so, in a game where you have to jump over things– There’s challenges. Hey, Jay. It just sounds more frustrating than fun. Without giving too much away,.. I meant, like, you know… …Colin said, Jay, how was flaps? What happened? I got us to 60 meters. We’ve gotten the farthest we’ve ever gone. We’ve given it to someone who doesn’t know what this game is. Twelve was the only, that was the highest score, and that was Rich, and I got twelve. And I got it to twelve. This looks… Sounde effects. Oh, that’s, see, I thought that was an ad or something that was up. No, that’s the game. That’s the game? That’s the game. Yeah. Mike, you might wanna give this a try just to understand what’s happening. Never. Never. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I mean… It’s so bizarre. But we’ve gotten so far, Rich. You’re trying to move a guy over a hurdle. Well, we have to drag the hurdle along with us… …because we can’t move his legs properly enough to jump over it. Is there even an ability to jump over it if you wanna do the controls properly? Possibly. It’s probably J for jump, but… Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. What just happened? Okay. What is happening? Stop, stop, stop. You’re stuck on that hurdle. No, we’re moving. No, you’re stuck on it. No, it’s, it’s been moving. Oh, it’s moving with you, okay. Jack, stop. Jack, stop, stop, stop. Oh… Is there a way to make him run? Did you stop doing it? eah, I wanted him to level out. He was going up in the air. It’s okay. It’s almost 70 meters. That’s terrible. What, what entertainment could you get from this? Um… Almost, almost similar entertainment to watching a bad movie on purpose, I suppose. Oh, damn. Sorry, Mike. Hey, I got to 70 meters, guys. Not 60. Rich is in negative meters. No, I got to 60 meters, and then I gave up. Yeah. So, what is it, a combination of hitting the keys? Well, Mike, just come here. No, I don’t want to. Well, if, if… Don’t ask if you don’t care. If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna ask questions, you, you should… …you should experience it for yourself. QWOP could be your first game since Dr. Mario. Hmm… Like, one button will do, like, a knee and a thigh, and… …one leg. You’re going in the air pretty good. Except for when you keep landing on your head. The, the keyboard is just right here for you, Mike. I think you should give it a shot. Shouldn’t he be in, like, a space suit, running on the surface of the moon? Like, gravity is affecting him. Well, you can’t hear it, but when you start moving forward, they start the Chariots of Fire theme. Hm. It’s actually a really funny effect if you can hear it. Oh. Oh, didn’t have enough momentum. Mike, you should try. You should try it. It’s not bad. C’mon. All right. Everybody wants to do it. Try to beat my score. What was your score, 60? I got it to 60, and then I stopped and gave it to those guys. I got it to less than one. If you can get somewhere between me and Jessi, you’ll be in good shape. Mike is taking over. This video game– Mike is taking over. Goodnight, Colin. Goodnight, Colin. All right. Colin’s going to bed. Okay, QWOP. It’s space when you wanna start, and it’s, yeah. Okay, tell me Q, W, and O-P do. Uh, figure it out. I mean, it’s, it’s… Spacebar? Okay. Oh, my god. Oh, spacebar, okay, so that’s back. That seems to be forward. Okay. You can do this, Mike. We believe in you. Want me to teach you? Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh… Yeah, more often than not I fell backwards onto my head. Okay. You can, oh. See, now you see where the crazy crotch dance comes from. Yeah. Just the wanting to– Okay. –the wanting to move forward. Nope. Okay, that’s not working. Oh, wow. This is amazing. See? No, not, I mean, not the game itself, but… Okay. I’m, I’m trying to figure out what the controls do. Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s the whole thing. Yeah. Do they, are they, do they randomize what each control does? The, the Q and the W, uh, make your legs go apart and together. So, like, W makes them, makes your legs go apart. Q makes them go together. And then O and P makes your knees extend. So think of Q and W as your hips. Mmkay. I’m taking this too literally. Like, I got him to move his legs. I, I think I’ll give up here. You can’t, want me to show you? No. Okay. Do you want me to teach you anything? Oh, hey, there, you got farther than I did… …just by randomly mashing buttons. I’m trying to come up with some kind of running rhythm. It’s, it’s really– It’s possible. Yeah. Is it? It’s possible to do. There are videos online of people actually doing this well. So is it, like, whoever designed this game is some sort of evil genius? Yes. Yeah, pretty much. It’s, it’s… I’m sure it’s some sort of experiment in hardness. Sure. The, the experiment is you take a simple thing and make it complicated, and, and humor ensues. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Oh, no. No! It’s fun to watch. Okay, yeah. See where it’s happening. Then you give it the one, but then you kind of switch, and the legs start doing the opposite. It’s like a, a series of, it’s like a combination. Mm-hmm. There’s, like, an exact combination of the order of buttons that you press. Yeah. I, it seems like it has to be really precise. Yes, that’s the thing. I get that, but it would take me years to master this. That was a pretty great wipeout, though. Oh, there you go. Now you’re getting in the, uh… …that’s what Jessi was doing, right? Yep. Yeah. Oh, oh… Gotta find that, that right rhythm. Yeah. I wanna get him to run. And not get too tired. Oh, you’re slowing down. Oh, what happened? Oh, oh. Oh, you must’ve hit the spacebar. Oh, I hit R. Oh. R seems to reset me. Oh. That sucked. You were doing that good. You were doing it. Yeah. Come on guy, get up. Run that, run that front leg, and, and then… straighten… Gotta move that right leg. Oh. Oh. This must be a blast to watch for everybody. I mean, I’m sure everyone loves it. What’s, what’s the opinion in the chat, guys? They love it. Mm-hmm. They love it. Oh, no. It looks like the octopus. I’d imagine this might’ve even inspired that game. Oh, yeah? Is this like a classic game? I think this has been around for a while. It’s been around for a while. Get that right leg up. Oh, no. Oh, oh no, oh no, oh. Mike, you’re doing so good. Oh! Right leg. Left leg, left leg. Oh, no. And straighten… and… Madness. Oh, I hit the R. Oh… The R, it’s right next to the Q-W, like… That sucks. Oh, Mike. You’re hitting, you’re hitting W and E. You’re not hitting Q and W. You’re missing a lot of the controls. Oh. And you were doing better that way? That’s great. I like that. Oh. Okay. You did better than me hitting the wrong buttons. Oh, you can do it. Oh. Oh… He keeps falling down. This completely changes Mike’s learning curve. Oh, no… Fuck. Oh, yeah, okay. Okay. Run. Get up, get up, get up, get up. Oh, oh, there you go. Nice. I know, cuz you really wanna do it when you’re, like, actually running, though, right? Well, yeah. And that’s, that’s what you– There he goes. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh! There’s a QWOP 2? Really? That’s what people are saying, we should play QWOP 2. What? How do you, how do you perfect, or how do you do something that, you know. Maybe you’re, maybe you’re, like, going up stairs. Oh, gosh. Jesus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There you go. Slow. Slowly. Oh. There you got a little… Nope. You can do this. Don’t fall, don’t fall. Apparently, uh, 2 QWOP is 2 player QWOP. Oh. QWOP. Oh, dear. Jesus Christ. You were kind of doing that. You don’t need a separate game for it. This is fine. Oh, unless they’re running next to each other. It says you have to control all the arms, and the legs, and you’re biking instead of running. Oh, gosh. Oh, Jesus Christ. That sounds like a nightmare. No, thank you. Right? Right? That would be terrible. I, by the way, Ryan_Vision, I agree. QWOP is the only game that is both torture and addicting. Yeah, it is addictive. That’s because it’s, like, impossible, but you want to get somewhere. It’s, it’s almost, it gives you a sense that you’re figuring it out every time. Yeah, yeah. But you’re absolutely not. Is there, is there people that, um, are, are, like, mastered this? Yes. Absolutely. We could look up videos later. Yeah, I’d like to see that. I’m sure there is a combination of pressing the letters. Yeah, you have to do it just right or something. I, I’ve, I… It’s like a, like a simulation in, like, like, weight distribution, and there’s, like, a algorithm there. Yeah. Where it’s, like… so there is some sort of, like… I know it’s not the rapid taps like you’re doing. It’s, it is a smooth motion, but it’s, like, alternating. I figured it was, like, it’s like Q and P, and W and O. Double, they’re saying W-O, Q-P. W and– Two at a time. W and O, and Q and P, I think. Oh, that’s something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh yeah. I guess, maybe once I get him to stand up. Yeah. So, W-O, Q-P. I mean, you can just run like that. It works. Oh, no! Well, now that I have him in the upright position. He’s doing the splits. This is just riveting. W-O, Q-P. Apparently, there’s also a– There’s also a unicorn QWOP called CLOP. Oh, Jesus. Oh… And that’s funny.

100 comments

  1. I love their response to the AVGN movie. In a different episode Jack ripped it because he said the premise was egotistical and then proceeded to say he wasnt familiar with James' work. This is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. This also coming from the people who have a poster from the movie THEY made on a door prominently featured in BOTW. Give me a break.

  2. best part of old duck tales game was the stock market.
    Oh and Jessie is politically incorrect, I like her more now. 🙂

  3. The samurai sword is a really bad weapon to pick in a zombie apocalypse because they tend to break quite quickly, unless you have a quality crafted sword.

  4. Breaking bad is an over rated mess that had a very specific formula of distraction based melo drama. Every episode had 30 minutes of absolute garbage in it that did nothing but pad time to the next 'badass moment'. Jack's right, its hard to get through. I downloaded BB and watched it on VLC, and scrolled everytime I got bored. After watching the entire show, i had realized I accidentally skipped every single 'greatest moment' from the show. Not because I was skip happy, but because every single 'greatest moment' was preceded with absolute garbage that was slightly more interesting than watching paint dry.

    Its not the worst show ever or even a bad show, but its no where near as 'legendary' as brainwashed idiots think it is.

  5. Did anybody notice how a whole bunch of people under this video didn’t notice that a whole bunch of other people already asked if anybody noticed the background painter on the Duck Tales game was named Richard Evans?

  6. Learn from the Nintendo NErd on youtube, make video games of "BAD" games on your consoles:))) and have Rich play them:))

  7. 10:10 Walter decides to sell meth easily? Hes about to die, felt unmanly and taken advantage off his whole life and recently witnessed how much money untalented cooks can make. what more reason do you need? I can imagine the first reason alone would do it for quite a few people if they had the skills.

  8. The best combination of weapons for zombies:

    Outdoors: Assault rifle + halberd
    Indoors: High capacity handgun + medium size hammer(32oz?)

  9. 30:00 that's the first thing that happens, your toupe falls off on every level. rock star were listening and they made this happen with your hat in rdr2

  10. No one mentioned “Background Animator: Richard Evans” as it went past in the end credits of Duck Tales. Frauds

  11. Im rewatching all of Pre Rec (except the solo streams (except Rich's no death run on Dead Rising)) sad to see I've already seen all of Mike.

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