Narcotics Detective Can’t Escape His Own Addiction

Narcotics Detective Can’t Escape His Own Addiction

Everything in my
life was focused on having a whole lot
of people accept me. And my actions had brought
me to a point where I was getting
recognized but I was getting recognized for the
ugliest, most hated things you can do. My name is Joe McElroy. In my four years as
a narcotics detective I took down some
pretty bad guys. Eventually I became one myself. My story starts when I was just
a kid growing up in Arkansas. The relationship with my father
was difficult. He worked a lot, he expected a lot,
and I always felt like I didn’t quite
make it to that standard that he had set for me. I knew he loved me but
I don’t feel like I ever gained the acceptance. So when I got to high
school I discovered ways to get people’s attention. I found that when I drink,
and when I got loud and showed off, or fought, or whatever
it was people would look at me and smile and laugh and
thought I was funny, or crazy, or whatever you
wanted to call it. I could go to these parties and
be accepted by a lot of people. By the time I got to
college the partying had pretty much
taken over my life. I was drinking at least
a 12 pack of beer a day and smoking weed pretty
much every day all the time. I dropped out in
my first year, got a job working at a warehouse. Later I got married,
I started a family, but I felt like a failure
and I wanted to prove myself. That’s when I decided
to become a cop. To be able to go around with
the badge and the uniform, it gives you a sense of power. It all fed into this
need for acceptance and for being known
for something. So I stopped smoking weed,
cut back on the drinking, and I made it
through the academy. But being a cop, it
was never enough. So I worked my way up to
becoming a narcotics detective. That’s when the trouble started. I was working undercover
posing as a potential buyer. So I go to buy a substantial
amount of methamphetamine and of course the guy wants me
to use methamphetamine to prove that I’m not a cop. Hey, you like that stuff? Yeah, that’s some good stuff. I didn’t want him to shoot me
and I wanted to do the cases, I wanted to make the cases. I remember doing a line of meth
and having this moment where I was like oh, this is not good. Something’s
different about this. Something’s
dangerous about this. It wasn’t an if I’m going to
get high again at that point, it was when am I
going to get high, how am I going to get high, what
do I have to do to get high, what do I have to
steal to get high? I got my answer when I
was assigned to clean out an old evidence room. There were drugs, weapons,
money, you name it. It was all too
easy to take what I needed to support my addiction. My family didn’t matter. My career didn’t matter. My image didn’t
even matter anymore. Addiction had taken over
enough at that point that it was in control. It absolutely 100% ran my life. Eventually I got caught and
was arrested on nine felonies. I was facing 120 years
if they had really wanted to stack those charges. I was devastated. I mean I didn’t even
know where to begin or what to do with myself. Since I didn’t have
any priors the judge only gave me one
year of jail time with 10 years of probation. So here I am dirty cop
walking into prison. My story’s on TV. They’re looking at the
TV, they’re looking at me. My first several days
there it was fighting. I was really getting beat up. One day I knocked over
a stack of food trays just to get put into solitary
confinement for protection. My heart was as soft as
it could be at that point. I had taken physical
beating, mental beating, spiritual beating, I was done. I knew I needed to change. I knew I needed something
other than what I had been seeking this entire time. And the only person I
knew to ask for help from was God at that point and
invited him to come work in me. Jesus, forgive me,
please forgive me. For the first time in my life I
felt like I’m accepted, I’m OK, I’m good enough because he’s so
good, because he’s so loving, because he’s so kind. After that I got
myself transferred into a faith based block to
serve the rest of my sentence. There the Christian
inmates showed me God’s love in such a real way. It was the first time that
I’d ever laid myself bare and been transparent
with people. I could just be me. And they accepted me and they
loved me with all my flaws and all my mistakes. I got out in 2010. And over time, God has helped
me overcome my addiction and get through a
painful divorce. Now, I’m happily
remarried and working at a contracting company. God’s acceptance is
without hindrance. You don’t have to
perform to receive it. He’s there. He’s ready. He’s that dad that’s
running toward you, not holding back at all.



  2. of course cops do drugs, only in the movies can you buy kilos of coke without doing it in front of the dealer. you live in a bubble or a fairy tail land if you don't understand how the real drug world works. start researching dea cocaine partys

  3. There are a surprising number of cops and ex-cops who either smoke weed or used to smoke weed. I have met multiple cops who admitted to having been major stoners at some point in their lives, and I know several ex-cops who are currently lighting up.

  4. My uncle was a drug addict he went to jail for a year or so. As soon as he got out he died after doing heroine. Now I want to just be a street cop and not a norrcotic detective.

  5. I am 9 years sober from January 2019. (opiate addiction, prescript craziness, speed, etc, etc…) and this phenomenon is pretty common, especially with users of uppers – people become so soft that they need something, ANYthing that they can make a connection, thoughts going through head like crazy and BOOM! 8 outta 10 people find the placebo in some "god", "faith", "books"…. No! Karma does NOT work like that! You are not forgiven if you suddenly "accept" something! You need to WORK your way outta the made you made by undoing what you did and the people involved.

  6. AND YET, people question me asking for PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND HONESTY AMONG LAW ENFORCEMENT. 99% of PD's require by their own rules that cops be tested for drugs and alcohol after any action wherein a firearm is discharged. They make rules that have teeth,then avoid them like a plague.

  7. So they tossed you to the wolves and you became one out of necessity. Then they throw you into the lions den (prison)? No counseling or anything, just off to prison for getting caught up in that world they asked you to go into for their benefit? Seems pretty messed up to me.

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