Overcoming Trauma & Abuse | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Overcoming Trauma & Abuse | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Hi everyone! This video is going
to be about trauma and abuse, and how you can work your
way through it to ultimately overcome it. I have discussed
my personal traumatic past for anyone who is interested. So,
I’ll have an annotation and a link in the description.
Additionally, I’ll have other various resources of videos I
have done in the description that you can combine with these
techniques to better aid in your recovery. Trauma and abuse takes
many forms and affects everyone differently. Two people with
similar backgrounds could be the complete opposite in regards
to how they cope and deal with day-to-day stress. One
could be filled with horrifying flashbacks of abuse, while it
may not even bother the other one. Everyone’s interpretation
of abuse or trauma is different. Just because you may not have
had a childhood of abuse, or were in the military, doesn’t
mean you are not struggling. This is why I don’t like to
say one person’s trauma is more severe than another’s. While
there are different levels of trauma, and how complex it can
be, everyone is different and what may be traumatic to
someone may not be to another. Everyone’s story is important
and unique in itself because it is real to them and they
suffer with it. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, abandonment,
sexual abuse, whatever else, it’s all very real and serious.
No matter what abuse you have endured, no matter how complex
it is, there is always a way of coping with it and
developing ways to handle the situation so it doesn’t bother
you as severely. When someone has been through abuse and are
traumatized, they often have flashbacks of the disturbing
memories, things feeling like they are relieving themselves,
and it’s always on their mind. Trauma influence a person on a
such a deep level that it causes them to, subconscious, relive
the trauma. It can cause someone to have nightmares, flashbacks,
negative coping mechanisms, dissociation, and loss or
confusion of self or identity. Post-traumatic stress disorder,
or PTSD, is a serious condition that can take a very long
time to get to a healthy, stable place. When someone is in this
cycle that constantly relives itself, it’s actually quite easy
to see why. When you try not to think of something, it’s all you
will think about, consciously. After repeated times, it becomes
engraved in your mind. But subconsciously, things are a
bit different. When someone was abused, there are various coping
mechanisms that they employ, many times it’s subconscious.
And when you get to the core of it, the coping mechanism is so
they gain control over the abuse that had been done to them.
Let’s use a common example, a boy is being abused by their
father at home. It’s mostly physical abuse. This boy goes
to school and they bully several kids they think they can take
advantage of. They do it because it makes them feel good with
themselves and superior to the kids they bully. But deep down,
the core of them is vulnerable and traumatized. They make up
for that perceive inferiority by creating a false self with an
inflated ego. They are bullying kids at school, essentially
repeating the abuse being done to them at home. Why are they
repeating it? On a subconscious level, they want to pass it
along so others know what it is like for them. But ultimately,
they want to gain control over the abuse being done to them at
home. They cannot confront their father at home, the one abusing
them, but they can imitate the abuser and bully other kids
to make it seem like they are getting revenge on their father.
It’s not uncommon if this boy, when bullying the other kids,
were to envision him doing it to his father. The boy wants
control over the abuse, so a subconscious attempt is made
to stop it. But this method is ultimately a cycle that does not
stop the abuse, but spread it. I talked more about bullying
and the cycle of abuse in my bullying and cyberbullying
videos. So, I’ll have an annotation and a link in the
description. Other ways of projecting it are to focus
the abuse inward. Instead of bullying others, you bully
and abuse yourself. You neglect yourself. Perhaps saying you are
unworthy, cutting yourself, “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
This can often go hand in hand with bullying others as
well. But, there are ways of getting out of this negative
space and being in a more positive one which
I will discuss now. What can you do to cope
with trauma and overcome it? Ultimately it’s up to you,
quite literally. You have to be willing. If you believe you can
get through it and work through it, then you will succeed. If
you doubt it, then you will not. For instance, if you go to a
therapist and have doubts they will help you, you form a
negative perspective of that therapist and their ways of
teaching. When you do this, you don’t adopt their suggestions
and views, or resonate with their teachings, and thus
therapy would not help you. If instead, you go, listen to what
they have to say, and think, “Hey, maybe this will work.”
Then it will. Your perspective and willingness to want to work
through it comes before anything else. If you are not willing to
help yourself, then you will not achieve what you want. The
answer comes from within yourself. Next, you have to
eliminate any existing abuse. Let’s take an example of someone
who was abandoned as a child. They have great fear of
abandonment and do not want it to happen to them. They are
always in a relationship with someone, but each person they
are with ends up leaving them and abandoning them. They are
reliving their trauma over and over again. It’s obvious why
this is happening to them. For one, they have the fear of
abandonment. It’s always on their mind. They have not
overcome their abandonment issues from the past. So
subconsciously, they choose partners that will ultimately
abandon them so they can overcome that traumatic memory
of abandonment in the past. Ask yourself if you were abused in
your past, are you with someone today that is doing the same to
you? Are you reliving it? The types of connect we form and
people who are in our lives are a reflection of how we perceive
ourselves. So, if you have great fear of abandonment, you will
attract people that will abandon you. If you were physically
abused in prior relationships, and are with someone now that is
doing the same, you are reliving your trauma. What needs to
be done then is to eliminate anything that would remind you
or make you relive the abuse. This includes people. You
have the ability at any point to eliminate people from your life
that abuse and/or abandon you. In other words, don’t associate
with people that are making your past come back. Rather,
associate with those that will be part of your future, that is
free from abuse and abandonment. The next tip is to face the
memories and learn to let go of them. The only way you can
overcome the memories is to face them. If you deny or block them
out, you are creating resistance and repressing those negative
memories that are causing issues for you. Think of it as working
at a job. You can’t get paid for the job unless you do the work.
No one else can do it for you. So, in order for you to overcome
the trauma, you have to face it. Now, this is probably hardest
part because you have to go back to those memories and
essentially relive it, feel what it was like, then go of it. A
way to mend those wounds from childhood is to go back to those
traumatic memories, reexamine them, feel the emotions,
memories as they were at the time, and then let it go.
Perhaps be a good parent and comfort that child, that child
that you once were. Showing them love and acceptance and letting
go of the negative situation and memory. Maybe even reconstruct
the memory to you liking so it is positive. Don’t give up until
you are satisfied with how you want it to be. Rewrite the
memory, feel the memory and then associate something positive
with it to rewrite it to have a positive resolve. That is
essentially how you go back and rewrite the memory so you are
nurturing your past self, the one that was abused and
traumatized. Another method is, let’s say you are having very
negative feelings and emotions, think about getting that out
somehow, positively. Perhaps write about it and channel the
negativity out as you write and let go of the emotions. One
person I spoke with would envision those negative memories
and emotions going into a physical object and imagining it
being destroyed, or going away, whatever allows you to safely
let go of those emotions you are having. You don’t want to force
it, you want to allow it to go away. Relatedly, when those
intrusive memories start to manifest in the present, you
need to have a distraction to bring you back to the present.
This is important as well since when you begin to obsess over
the negative memories, you start to feel worse, and end up
going back to the trauma. Have something in the present moment
to bring you back to the present moment. In other words, it will
allow you to let go of those intrusive memories by having a
distraction. So for instance, just like the previous
example, if you are having those intrusive thoughts, begin
to focus and dedicate your attention to something else. You
want to take your mind off of those negative thoughts, but you
don’t want to “not think about it.” Because when you try to not
think of something, you think about it. So, this is where
distractions come into play. Intrusive thoughts come in,
imagine it going into an object into your surroundings and
dissipating. Here comes another thought, let that go into the
object as well. Keep at it until you are done with it. Combine
this technique with breathing exercise, relaxation techniques,
anything and everything that will bring you back to the
present moment and make you realize that those past memories
are not reliving themselves. By focusing on your goals and
understanding why those past events happened you will let go
of those past memories. Envision the person you want to be that
is free from trauma and abuse and has worked through it. Who
is your future self and how will you become them? By focusing on
how you want to be, you will be the person given enough time
and dedication. One of the most difficult things that many
people who have experienced trauma may have is to look at
the positive reasons why the traumatic event happened. Or
rather, what you learned from the experience. Not matter
what it was, there is something positive that has come of it if
you observe and pay attention. There is always something to
learn. Sometimes an important life lesson is learned, or
something else entirely that is not always obvious to you.
Things are not always clear on the surface, so if you dig
deeper and see why it happened, what you learned from it, and
ultimately use the experience to be the person you wish to be
that has endured so much and is a very strong person, then
things will be more conforming. Which brings me to the
last point, being patient and believing in yourself. When you
are in that negative downward spiral or at the bottom, the
only way of being in a better place is to go back up. You
can’t just go from here to here. It needs to be take one step at
a time. Otherwise, if you try to jump straight to here, you’ll be
in for disappointment since it’s probably not going to yield the
results you are looking for. By realizing that there is no
escaping your past. It will still come back to haunt you
at times. But, you have then learned techniques to help and
it won’t bother you as badly as it did when it was all you would
think about. During the process of recovery, things can seem
more difficult since you are not use to talking about those
negative situations. But, when you work through it and
give it enough time, you will get through it. So in conclusion, it is possible
to overcome abuse and/or trauma you have been through. All you
have to do is be willing to help yourself and be patient. It
takes time. But, with enough dedication, you can succeed at
this. Just believe you can make it through because you know
you can. I hope this video was informative and
helpful. Thanks for watching!


  1. Thanks Autumn! I was diagnosed last year and had symptoms since I was about 17. So it took me about 15 years to get some help. Really enjoy your videos and found this very helpful.

  2. I get so excited when I see your new videos go up. Great video! I am finding slowly the past traumas are not taking up as much space in my present mind. I think people need to realize recovery takes a lot of time. It is not instant (although we would all love for it to be). Being persistent is key. Take care.

  3. Autumn, you are an inspiration. Your videos are an excellent mix of informative, interesting and fun and reassuring. I often watch them when I am feeling low.  I hope they are helping you in your recovery process as well. Thank you for the content.

  4. Thank you Autumn, your vidz are amazing.
    So well structered and helpful. Well spoken and inspiring.
    You're beautiful too 🙂

  5. The Beatles- Dear Prudence 

    I'm sorry if no one thinks this song has any relevance. It's just that I immediately thought of it while watching this video. Hey Jude fits the bill for me pretty well too. 

  6. Thank you so much, Autumn. This video has taught me a lot and gives me a lot of hope for the future. When I go through stressful and triggering situations, I tend to fall into a spiral of "I'll never get over my depression and anxiety and PTSD," but you rekindle my flame of hope and make me realize that I absolutely can do it. I seriously can't thank you enough.

  7. You have sooo beautiful and big eyes and very pretty smile, but I prefer more natural eyebrows. I've seen one video about you transitioning and there was that photo on which you had natural eyebrows, and I can say it looked great.

  8. Thank you for the informative video but I have a question: as I disassociated during the traumatic events it's hard to face the memories as I can't really remember much, is there anything I can do? Thank you.

  9. Hi Autumn, I wanted to ask you something: do you know anything about locking those traumatizing events in one's life in order to move on? The individual is later left with PTSD without exactly knowing what happened in the past, they might have a very vague memory but can't remember the whole thing precisely.
    Is there any way you know of to unlock those memories so that the individual can examinate them in depth to learn from them and eventually let go of them?
    Relaxation and self hypnosis did not work to allow those memories to come back so I was wondering if you knew of any other ways to unlock hurtful memories that we put so much effort into burying in the deepest corner of our minds.
    Thank you very much for your videos, you are being way more helpful than a therapist to me, I always look forward to your updates.
    Have a lovely day!

  10. Hello Autumn. I just want to thank you for all of your amazing videos because they continue to inspire, not only me, but many others out there who watch your videos also. You are so open-minded and kind and you take into consideration the differences of individuals, and that is an amazing thing for you to do when you talk about your situation so openly. I hope that you are able to continue working on your mental health and your happiness because you deserve all the happiness in the world. If your host self manages to read this, I just want to tell her that there is no hidden motive behind this comment. I am 100% so inspired by you and that you are doing an amazing thing by posting all these videos, so thank you so so much. You are so beautiful inside and out.

  11. I am not condoning using illegal drugs but I know that ecstasy works wonders on treating PTSD. I watched multiple documentaries and videos and read articles about it and there were a lot of veterans who tried for years to get rid of PTSD with medication and therapy who tried ecstasy once or twice for a therapy session and their PTSD was gone. I know that some therapists secretly use ecstasy for their therapy illegally. They say in the future they might legalize it but only if its carefully monitored by therapists for the purpose of treating PTSD.

  12. I came across your channel by accident and ended up watching many of them. I just wanted to say you are a beautiful person and your courage to talk so openly about your scars is truly inspirational. Keep soldiering on, you are very special. 

  13. When I saw your video that introduced your different personalities, I was going to comment and ask if you had considered the possibility that you are a victim of PSTD, forming these alter personalities as a mechanism to help you cope with whatever trauma you suffered in your life…??? The cure to PSTD is to learn to accept whatever happened to you on a purely conscious level, although in your case I don't know if each of your personalities need to go through this journey of acceptance or just the host … I'm inclined to think that only the host need pursue this goal.

    Occam's razor is a theory on problem solving (that has proven to work flawlessly time and time again) that says the solution to any problem will be the solution which has the LEAST number of assumptions. So, the problem with over-analyzing everything that goes through your head, is that your analysis will introduce into your mind an almost infinite number of assumptions. For example, the hosts over-analysis of every Youtube comment interjects the ASSUMPTION that every comment has a hidden motive. Obviously the TRUTH is quite different than what you assume. 

    Therefore, I honestly believe the only way you will EVER find any hope of freeing yourself of these personalities, will be to take a very scary step of forcing yourself to stop over-analyzing everyone and everything, and start accepting people at face value, and every situation on it’s own merits as they present themselves, not through some twisted maze of assumption. Once you can stop over-analyzing everyone and everything, you can start exploring whatever trauma or trauma’s you experienced in life, bring them to your conscious mind and obliterate them as absolute rubbish through acceptance and realization that you are quite literally a good person, and a NORMAL human being, and that the people who should be judged for your traumas are the ones who committed them against you. When you get there, you will mentally breath freely – which is something that is long overdue for you.

    Good luck to you, I hope you find peace soon.

  14. one thing i find is helpful is, everytime you are hit with a negative thought, take control and invade it with a positive thought.it neutralizes the negative thought and comforts your being.

  15. Thank you for posting this video. Its great info and makes complete sense. I'm currently in therapy now and working through my past abuse. This video helped explain some things to me and gave me some more hope that I CAN feel better. Thanks Again!

  16. you are incredible. yes i have been a victim of abuse, but this video has helped me to have foresight. 
    thank you very much my love.

  17. Thank you so much. My negative memories kept my awake last night, but now I have some hope again. You are amazing!

  18. I have been watching your videos for maybe a year or so, and I am noticing that you gradually seem happier each video. I love it! <3

  19. It took me years to realize the mental abuse my mother inflicted on me without me knowing until feelings bubbled to the surface I never knew I had. Getting angry without understanding why, behaving toward people how I should have behaved toward her and becoming defensive without realizing it. I'll find myself getting judgemental toward a person right at the point before I develop the healthy emotional attachment to them required in any type of relationship. I will pick at their flaws or make up flaws about them that aren't there for the sake of avoiding caring. Now that I notice this it's easier for me to get close to people, and some are more beautiful than I thought- just give them a chance!

  20. Great video thankyou! PS: This is the second time I have heard that cute accent. Julie Borowski here on YouTube also has it 🙂

  21. Wow the idea that it's not about what your past is but how the individual interprets it is so true. I wish i couls remember this every day because always find myself judging other people who I feel have had better upbringings than me or have happy families and lots of close relationships, like I'm somehow better than them because I've been through more or something. I'm trying to judge less all the time.

  22. "Where are the stories of the military personnel that return home who could confirm this claim? Each sees but a small segment of the whole picture. Indoctrination and mind control within the military is far more sophisticated than is possible with the general public. After discharge from the military services and a period of time away from these practices many of those involved begin to disassociate from the mind control effects and find themselves mentally and emotionally unstable. Help, other than drugs, to sort out the indoctrinated “suggestions” from the actual experiences is unavailable through government agencies and many are unable to function in the civilian world. They are left with the choice to either rejoin the military or cope in what ever way they can. Few if any have the finances or are able to find outside psychiatric help that comprehends the basis of their dilemmas. The programming of your beloved children is carefully designed to fit the categories of the future roles they will play in these armed intrigues of aggression.

    When we compare the overall understanding of this situation as a play, it is appropriate. Though it is presented as if there were unbalanced authors writing scenarios to be deliberately acted out, there is more truth involved than can be imagined! Presenting this information to you, it seems to come forth in a melodra- (pg 25) matic tone and the immediate reaction is to refuse to consider that such massive delusion could be perpetrated on so many million people. Human nature is well known. Your reactions and beliefs are fully understood. Nothing has been left to chance in this well planned game of illusion for the purpose of delusion. The USA is the ideal vehicle for this particular transition of global role reversal in as much as there are no long-standing ethnic animosities as are present in other areas of the planet. The black/white/native American issues are the only exploitable issues and they are not of such duration to bring about the same reactions as the Moslem/Jewish/Christian situations that are now in growing conflagration in the European and eastern countries.

    At the base of this entire picture is the very “human nature” that has been so well examined and studied."  book 2 ref, myfocusofpurpose.org

  23. Being willing is one of the issues I have. 
    While I do go to therapy, I rarely feel that there is any progress made. I feel like all I'm doing is just sitting there talking about things I really dont want to talk about. 
    Part of the issue too is I dont really ever fully trust anyone, not even my therapist. It just kinda feels at times that I'm just being a bother and wasting everyones time by even going. 
    Its going to be hard to try to be more willing in the sessions. 
    Also, I've kinda done the thing you mentioned with abandonment issues, but I've never really gotten a handle on the "making friends" thing, so it just ends up me being in a perpetual state of abandonment. And when I finally find that one person that says they'll never leave, eventually they do. I'm with a great person right now, but that fear is still there. Usually with friends I become overwhelmed and introvert which I know causes them to leave. 
    There are some memories that are an issue to face because I just dont remember them they were some traumatic things for me that the whole few months surrounding them are just a blank. And letting go is a huge issue for me. There was an abuser in my life, not physical but psychological, and that person would bring up things from many many years before, like from childhood while I was in my late teens, and it would be kind of a shaming where the accusations were of things I couldn't ever fix because they were long in the past and every time I tried to take a step forward it seems this person drug me back, so I started to severely hate them for this along with various other things happening with them.
    They recently died and there is so much stuff left unresolved with that person. I get so angry about memories of them, and random nightmares involving them. 
    Am I just weird for having such a hard time dealing with these steps that some people seem to find so easy?

  24. Hi autumn I just found your channel and I like it a lot. You seem very nice and gorgeous especially your eyes ^~^ im sorry you went through so much trouble. I understand the whole sexual abuse..it's very difficult..but everyone can get through it. I feel like you will be an inspiration to many people and I wish you the best of luck 🙂

  25. Will my Panic Disorder due to meth overdose which then evolved into worse GAD and depression for 2 years now will have a chance to evolve into PDST. I have verbal traumatic experience since childhood plus I am fat and ugly. Does PTSD has psychotic features?

  26. I have PTS because when I was five my parents would fight over money and so on. My dad started emotionally and verbally abusing my mom. Then a couple months later she divorced him and moved to another state. After 1 and a half years she fell in love with another man. Everything seemed amazing until I turned 11. He had anger issues and would slap us, spit on us, scare us, call us every single name you can think of. She got brain cancer and one year later she cured herself. But she changed after chemotherapy. They would fight all the fricking time. I wanted to suicide but knew better. I was homeschooled and disnt ha e friends so I couldn't get away. Then one day he beated her up really bad. I got a knife and said Stop it or I'll kill myself. He stopped and walked away. Mum finally decided to pack up and move. We moved here to Melbourne Australia. I made amazing friends and got a job in a cafe. But i got damaged. If I see or hear people in a argument. I get really shaky and light headed. Or sometimes I get suicidal. They broke up only seven months ago and I'm 15. I think I should get some help. Any advice could help. Thank you
    I hope you have a great day. xx

  27. Now I understand why I'm going through what I'm going through…I can't thank you enough!! I needed this! I find it so hard to find someone who is going through this… Thank You.

  28. I grew up with a troubling childhood, and most of my childhood was being around violence, intense arguing, and alcoholism. As I got much older, another traumatic thing has happened to me that I kept deep down inside my mind for a couple of years. Talking to family members about it is not an option due to ridiculous reasons. Talking to a very special person has opened my mind and I had a sudden realization. I am okay and yet I'm not as confusing and silly that sounds…And I've been denying what is wrong with me for way too long. I had to accept that I suffer with depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc.

  29. I dont know if my previous post came up bc i couldnt find it just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart you have helped so many ppl including myself with your videos you rock never change peace out from Sweden x

  30. I had PTSD from an abusive relationship I was in 10 years ago. Everything was fine in my mind before we moved in together (hindsight there were incredible red flags long before that) but the abuse escalated dramatically afterwards to the point it was every day – all day if we were home together. My family urged me not to move in with her… they all saw her for what she was, but I was completely blinded by love. She was soooo good at convincing me that things were all in my head, I was to blame and brought things on. Even when it ended, she continued the abuse to me in emails saying I abandoned her and I was this horrible unlovable person and all the things abusers say to convince you that you are worthless. I never wanted to die so badly in my life. If it wasn't for me finding an abandoned puppy around that time and taking him home and having someone that loved me unconditionally and gave me a purpose, I know I would not be here today. I suffered with the effects of PTSD for years even though I didn't know that I had it. I became a complete recluse and didn't allow anyone even friends into my life. My only communication with the outside world was online forums. I also completely let myself go. In my mind, the more unattractive I was, the more people would stay away from me. It wasn't until I went to a new doctor for just a regular checkup that I got help. I didn't ask for help, she just took one look at me and knew something else was going on and she got it out of me. She held me and cried with me and at that moment, she made arrangements for me to get the help I so desperately needed. She arranged for me to get therapy and my therapist was an absolute god sent. I saw her for 3 years and I learned so much about narcissistic personality disorder. Before that, I had always thought narcissist people were just conceited… I never knew how malignant and cruel they can be. Hindsight, I had a very similar relationship in my early 20s but that relationship didn't affect me as much as this one did. I am so much more a better person today for having had that experience and I feel I grew so much from all of it. Do I still make mistakes? Of course. I still get my heart broken, but I know I will never let myself or anyone I know go through an experience like that again.

  31. this video helped me so much and gave me more insight into my behavior than 2 years of therapy. thank you. thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

  32. you are smart and you process a rare kind of goodness that does not come along these days. and, you almost had me consider forgiving my only true relative for dogging grandma out thank you. almost said i was sorry for being the victim.

  33. I just want to say I love your videos, and I love listening to you. You seem to be able to get your thoughts across so elegantly. I just really relate to a lot of what you say in your videos (especially ones relating to trauma and abuse and over coming hardships in your life). I really hope you continue to make videos – because I know I can't be the only person who is comforted by these! <3 Thank you so much for educating others and sharing your personal experiences. I really appreciate everything you do.

  34. hello autumn asphodel great video touchs a lot of things for me have been trying to deal with a lot for a long time to date nothing has really helped  maybe there might be hope for the future after watching your video

  35. when I was 3 my brother chased me and my siblings around the block with a knife. (he has autism and thought he was Michael Myers) I always remembered that. when I was 4 and 5 (and 6 ect) I always had to watch my brother hurt my mother. he would threaten her and pull her hair and spit and attack her and us. (us being my other brothers and sisters) He would always attack my mom and try to attack us. he only attacked my mom more than us because she always tried to protect us. He would chase us around and try to attack us and stuff and I guess I got PTSD from it… (he's in a home for ppl with autism now though) everybody always thinks I'm fine thinks that I'm happy nobody ever asks me if I'm okay they just assume. nobody in my family knows i have PTSD BC I never tell them. but yesterday night I told my mom….. and she didn't even believe i have it……… she still doesn't. I was so upset and pissed and depressed after that I thought of killing myself but I just stuffed down my feelings and ignored it……… Its like I'm slowly suffocating in the middle of the street… people pass me by all day but nobody can see me dying……..

  36. Hey, this video is helping me a lot. I was wondering if I can do video like this in Chinese by using your information in the video. During the process I might comfort many Chinese people and also let go of my traumatic memory of my abusive childhood. And in China, mental health is not most people are familiar with, and there are a lot of stigma come along with it. I want to help people to make me feel better, and I'm really motivated.( I haven't been this motivated for months!!!)

  37. right u have to stop doing this you are causing moor harm than good you are not qualified to comment on this subject you are causing moor harm than good .go and get a degree .

  38. thank you for this vlog. I had severe ptsd. my ex husband abused me in every way for years, and when I left with my 3 year old to try to protect us, he revictimized me through the court for 3 years. this led up to him hiring 3 hit men to murder me over the custody of my son. I thought I would be better with him in prison. however, I became an alcoholic to numb the pain, am recovering, and it changed to anorexia. if I can focus on food, and the restriction of food, I can stop thinking about him. it goes over and over in my head. please respond to me and I would like to privately communicate. I have psychologist, psychiatrist, and the same with my son. I feel you have the first vlog that can help me. thank you.

  39. omg your bone structure is to die for i can onagine you with warm glowy skin and blown out warm brown hair. gorgeous

  40. This really helps. Thank you. I often feel misunderstood and isolated, especially because my trauma doesn't seem traumatic to most people. Psychological abuse is impossible for most people to relate to, unless they've gone through it.

  41. I can not remember anything about the physical abuse I suffered since I was a child. And I do not remember my recent past.

  42. You convey such strength and clarity that it encourages me and reminds me that I can do it 😀 and I've been doing it little by little

  43. I was in an abusive (mentally and emotionally) relationship for about a year and a half and I can still feel the effects it has on me today. Sometimes I deny myself sympathy which i think is also an effect of that relationship. Because of him I have even lower confidence, he literally used to tell me I don't have control over myself and make me the bad guy everytime something went wrong to the point where i actually started to believe I was always in the wrong. I dated him from when I was 16 to like 17 and a half and now I'm 18. Having to deal with that at such a young age i feel really impacted me 10x harder. On top of that i remember when we first started to date it seemed as if my parents trusted me even more which i think is super backwards. When I was single I had strict curfew but once we began to date I could stay out as long as I wanted. This might seem like it was super cool but really that just gave him more time to hurt me, they never questioned him (which was also weird) and were so hands off to the point where sometimes i felt like i was living on my own. IDk what you call that but in the end too much freedom and an abusive bf hurt and is still traumatizing me.

  44. I suffer from ptsd and borderline personality disorder do to childhood trauma I ussually try to avoid talking about the abuse or even remembering it!

  45. Omg I LOVE YOU. I just got dumped by the love of my life 15th time or so. i’m so done but it still hurts you’re saving my life rn it’s a first time when i was able to find actual real advice on what to do about my abandonment trauma it feels like i’m dying every time and when i’m thinking of ending it in my head it feels like shutting down and withdrawal so I would try and keep my heart open to get back to the same result and it feels like i’m dying. Now i know though not just that i CAN get through it, but HOW to get there. THANK YOU SO MUCH, LOVE😭😭😭

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