Parenting Expert Says Kids Shouldn’t Have Any Privacy With Their Internet Access

Joining us now is Donna Tetreault, a parenting expert, who says that technology should not be a right for teens, but a privilege and parents must set the bar for their children. Donna, you’ve been listening to all of this. You and I know each other, we’ve worked together before, and I think we’re very like minded about this. But you have some specific thoughts about this particular situation. As you’re listening to this, what’s jumping out at you? When she was a little girl, you wouldn’t let her, as a toddler, go out to a swimming pool by herself, for fear that she would drown. So you have to get it the water with her at that point and help her learn how to be in the water and respect the water, just like you do with technology. And at that time, too, I’m sure that you got her swimming lessons, right? Yes.
Yeah. Okay, so that’s that time with tech, too, that you have to start educating, age appropriately, time limits, what’s appropriate. You’re bringing in the value system to your family. And then, of course, I’m sure you put a fence around that pool; those are the parental controls. But we know kids get around the fences and they drown. So that might be one way to get her off, but it’s really the education and overall, the oversight. When she turned 10, 11, 12, 13, I’m sure she still wasn’t swimming on her own, that she could swim on her own, but you had to be there to watch her. So it’s really thinking about it from an education perspective and then really, the oversight has to be there. It just has to be there. So how much privacy do you think kids should have with their internet access as they’re growing up, 10, 11, 12, 13? Zero, none. We tried, we tried a year ago to set boundaries and limits and one of the contracts, it’s like, give us all your passwords. And she just scribbled that out. It’s just–
And you allowed that. Right.
You made a contract, which you advocate, Donna, correct? I do.
We would like to be– But she dictated the terms of the contract. Yup.
They said, “We need your passwords,” she crossed that out. That’s not gonna be a deal to this contract. You don’t get to monitor me, you don’t get to pay attention to what I do. You don’t get access to me, zip, zip, zip, zip. The tail is wagging the dog and you’re complaining about the results. You can’t have it both ways. Yup, we’re chasing it. And you have to talk to her with compassion. You need to speak to her and try to understand where she’s coming from. How can I help you? I want to protect you. I love you, you’re my baby, I’ll do anything to protect you. We did–
‘Cause it’s us against the predators, online bullying and all these people who want to disrupt her life.

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