Russian Alcoholic Speaks English

Russian Alcoholic Speaks English


How do you do? I born live… in 1964. In November. 13 November, 13 November. In city… (in Russian) well, fuck the city… in city Penza, in Soviet Union. Sergey: (in Russian) What the fuck is he recording for? (in Russian) Is he recording for America? Mom: (in Russian) He’s going to put you up on YouTube, so everyone sees… (in Russian) how well-spoken our alcoholics are. Sergey: Excuse me, sir, (in Russian) damn it… (in Russian) you fucking asshole. Have me please 200… rubles. Me: Rubles? Sergey: 200 dollars. Me: That’s a little excessive. Sergey: Only, only, only. (in Russian) well, then give me rubles, fuck your mother. Me: (in Russian) But for what?
Dad: For what? Sergey: For what? (in Russian) Don’t… you know… Drinking, (in Russian) here, damn it. (in Russian) last… how do you say ‘last time’? Dad: The last time, (in Russian) I guess. Sergey: Last time… last time… (in Russian) that’s it! Vasya… is Vasya… my friend. (in Russian) half-retarded… no, he’s my classmate! I would never… never… (in Russian) he’s half-retarded… write it down. (in Russian) go ahead and write it on the camera. in Los Angeles, [inaudiable]. I am… (in Russian) hold on… Dinamo Moscow! I ain’t no police, no police. (in Russian) Never, Vasya, I was never a cop, tell him. Me: (in Russian) I understand. Sergey: (in Russian) I know you understand, you half-Russian fool. Sergey: (in Russian) Thanks, Vasya, thanks, of course. (in Russian) damn it, he’s a young punk. (in Russian) well, really, a young punk. Young… (in Russian) young punk! (in Russian) young…
boy. (in Russian) Listen, Vova, stop fucking with my brain. (in Russian) come here, I’ll do 17 pull-ups. Me: (in Russian) You will do 17 pull-ups? Sergey: (in Russian) How many? 17, I’m not going to do. How many do you want? Me: (in Russian) 17… if you said you were going to… Sergey: (in Russian) Fucking hell, fine. Sergey: (in Russian) I’m not going to… Dad: (in Russian) Why don’t you warm up first? Sergey: (in Russian) Yeah, hold on, here… I’ll warm up. Dad: (in Russian) Sergey, leave me alone! Sergey! Sergey: (in Russian) Okay, I’m ready, Vasya, should I do some pushups to warm up? Me: (in Russian) Why don’t you take off your jacket? Sergey: (in Russian) Ah, yes, it’ll be easier, right? Me: (in Russian) Yes. Me: (in Russian) Ohhhh, he’s a sailor! Me: (in Russian) Here, let me help you with this. Sergey: (in Russian) It was made in your fucking Texas…
and California! Dad: (in Russian) This is Russia! Sergey: (in Russian) This is Soviet Union, Vasya…
Russia is a piece of shit! Dad: (in Russian) Yes, Soviet Union is indeed no California… or Texas. Sergey: (in Russian) Let’s go. Dad: (in Russian) Hold on, let me clear the space. Mom: (in Russian) What if he falls and kills himself? Sergey: (in Russian) Go ahead and count, fuck you all in the cunt! Mom and Me: (in Russian) 1… 2… 3… 4… Dad: (in Russian) Straighten your arms out all the way on your way down! Sergey: (in Russian) Fuck you in the cunt! Mom: 6… 7… 8, good job… 9… 10… Me: (in Russian) You’re a champ! Mom: (in Russian) 11… 12… Sergey: (in Russian) Fuck you all in the cunt! Me: (in Russian) Count it. Mom: (in Russian) Why don’t you keep the 10-ruble bills for change? Me: (in Russian) It’s OK, this is exactly 100. Me: (in Russian) Goodbye. Sergey: (in Russian) Goodbye… (in German) Goodbye. Dad: (in Russian) Say it in English, Sergey. Sergey: Bye-bye, (in Russian) damn it.

100 comments

  1. I've met 100,099,219 people named Sergey hahahhahahhahhhahaahhahhahahahhahahhahhahaahhahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhhaaHhahhahHhhhahh

  2. i dont know why but i feel like the first 3 seconds should be a meme,like for example maxmoefoe saying POKEMON CARDS HEEERREEE Then it says meet maxmoefoe XD

  3. 😰😰😰
    Ужас… кошмар… я, наверное, так же говорю… но я стараюсь делать акцент, правда!!!

  4. Goodbye is not German but nice video 😂 in Germany we say auf wiedersehen, bis zum nächsten Mal, Tschüss and a lot more

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