Schizophrenia | Overview & Symptoms

Schizophrenia | Overview & Symptoms

Hi everyone! In this
video I will be discussing schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is
a mental disorder that makes it difficult to discern between
what is real and not real, as well as have appropriate
emotional responses. This is probably the most difficult
illness that I deal with because I feel as though it has taken so
much from me, and made me think and believe things that are
non-existent. I first became aware of how different my
thinking was in 2012 due to an incident that made me extremely
paranoid, and I realized it. I started doing research
and everything pointed to schizophrenia. And, this
terrified me because this is not something anyone should have to
deal with. I’ve very glad I was able to recognize my issues
since many people may not be aware. I believe it has
helped me understand the illness better, and I don’t feel like I
am the only one that thinks the way I do. My issues could be
much worse, so I’m very lucky that it isn’t to that severity.
It’s a very scary thing to deal with, like living in a
nightmare. A lot of people don’t understand and think
you’re weird and crazy for your illness, and don’t treat you
fairly, like you cannot function or take care of yourself. Or
others think you are faking it, which is just ridiculous. There
are several subtypes such as paranoid and disorganized
schizophrenia. Paranoid schizophrenia is when the person
has paranoid delusions and/or auditory hallucinations.
But there is little to no intellectual impairment,
disorganized behavior, or inappropriate expression
of emotions. Disorganized schizophrenia is a thought
disorder in which the person experiences disorganization of
their speech or behavior, as well as inappropriate expression
of emotions. It may be difficult to understand and follow what
this person is saying. And they may laugh inappropriately for
no apparent reason. There are others as well, but I will be
focusing on these two. I can identify with both paranoid and
disorganized to an extent. So, I’m going to go over some of the
symptoms. A lot of these will need their own video since there
is a lot to talk about. But, the symptoms are divided into
positive and negative symptoms. Let’s start with positive
symptoms. In this case positive does not mean good. So, the
first symptom is delusions and paranoia. And, this is probably
the most common symptom. These can be delusions of persecution,
in which the person believes they are being victimized, or
delusions of grandeur in which someone feels that they are much
greater than they really are. It’s not uncommon for a
schizophrenic to think that people are out to get them.
Maybe because they feel that they have some special power
that no one else has and others are trying to take away
from them. They may see hidden messages in things that they
feel are relevant to them in someway. And this all very much
applies to me. I am incredibly paranoid. I don’t trust anyone.
I feel like everyone has it out for me and they’re all plotting
to cause me harm in some way. Also, I have thought before that
I wasn’t human and was important in some way to save the world.
Now, it’s a lesser thought, but it’s still in the back of my
mind. And, you have to think, believing that someone is
thinking about you, monitoring you, because you are special,
it sound like I am narcissistic, which is not the case at
all. I realize how illogical my thinking and beliefs are, but
there’s no arguing because I stand by my beliefs. Though I
ask myself, why would I believe these crazy thoughts? Yet,
I still do, despite all the evidence suggesting
otherwise. The next symptom is hallucinations. These can be of
any of the senses. Though, the most common are auditory and
visual. Hearing voices or sounds that no one else can hear.
Seeing things that no one else can see. I have heard a variety
of voices, some are good, some are bad. I’ve heard them from
both external sources and in my head. Though I mostly hear
sounds. When I’m alone in the house, and it’s quite, so many
times I have heard someone else in the house with me. I’ve had
a few episodes where I’ve just been absolutely terrified. I
always have a background noise going on so most of the sounds
are blocked out. So, that helps me tremendously, as well as
telling myself they’re not real and ignoring them. Which can
be a very difficult thing to do sometimes. I don’t recall having
any visual hallucination where something manifested
out of nowhere. My visual hallucinations are more like
morphing objects. So, when I’m looking at something it may
appear to be something else to me. A lot of times I see these
really creepy faces. I’ve drawn them before and they really
creep me out as well as other people I’ve shown. Also, I tend
to smell smoke a lot. I don’t know if it’s because I am
hypersensitive to the smell of smoke, like cigarette smoke,
or what, but I tend to smell it when no one else does and
when there is no one else around smoking. And, it’s very strange.
And, the last symptom here is disorganized thoughts, speech,
and behavior. This is probably one of the first things people
notice about me. I will be talking with someone and I jump
from topic to topic, and it ends up being this complex nested set
of topics built on top of one another that really make no
sense and no one can follow it. I’m sure you’re wondering how I
could be so organized in these videos? And, that’s because I
create an outline for myself that I read over and over again
while I’m talking. If I were to come on here without everything
type up that I’m going to say, then you could be seeing
hour-long videos that are probably more than 50%
not about the topic. So, the negative symptoms are
inappropriate expression of emotions. This is another thing
that people first realize about me. It’s very difficult to
express how I really feel. I have very inappropriate smiling
and laughter. You don’t know how many times people have said
something like, “My mom died and it’s been a very difficult time
for me.” [Laughter] What?! Why would you laugh at that, it’s
sad, not amusing. It happens all too often too. I guess it’s
since I feel like I can’t deal with that sort of situation.
So, I laugh and smile when I’m nervous and to hide what I’m
really feeling. I feel like I put on a mask that makes me
appear happy, when in reality, I’m not since I don’t known
what true happiness is. The next symptom is social isolation,
lack of desire or ability to form relationships. This is very
evident with me since I really have no friends. I prefer to be
alone since I am a loner. There are times that I neglect the
people in my life because I just want to be alone. I’ve tried
making friends, but it never amounts to anything. It’s very
rare for me to reach out and begin a conversation with
someone, because it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I don’t
want some close relationships, because I really do, it’s just,
I don’t understand them. How do two people become friends?
Why do people want friends and relationships? I just don’t
get it. And, the last symptom is reduced ability to take care of
oneself. Can’t say this applies to me all that much. I do
consider myself independent and take care of myself. But, as
much as I would love to live in my own house, by myself, I can’t
see it happening because I don’t think I could function
properly. I think things would get really out of hand. So, I hope this
video was informative. Thanks for watching!


  1. I am going through strange experiences and I need help. I can't tell if I'm developing psychosis or going through a spiritual connection with G-d. I can't speak with my therapist because She's abusing me mentally 🙁

  2. I have paranoid schizophrenia. With medication is is livable.. only work is an issue I am wondering if I ever will be able to hold a job, do you work?

  3. this doesn't make me an expert but when i was young, i would read medical books in the library and read many on schizophrenia and then i recognized my brother to have it, it was not diagnosed until later when he was in his twenties , i love to know more and more about it

  4. I think I have schizophernia because it feels like this video was made to make me think that my thoughts are just made up of schizophernia. or maybe i don't have schizophernia. ehhh it just feels like a paradox. It feels meaningless to ask for help.

  5. schizophrenia isn't a mental disorder it's a biological weapon microwave mind control google it you can be cured with a faraday cage

  6. tnx for posting i found this very interesting and am pleased that you were able to recognise that something medically was wrong with yourself. you are or come across as a very intelligent individual. i found this post interesting because i am currently questioning some of my own thoughts some of which are quiet distressing at times

  7. Half of the things you talked about in this video apply to me especially the inappropriate laughter. And I have depression. I believed so strongly one time that someone I knew in my college was a russian spy and I sought to prove her out. I hear small voices in my head and have hallucinations in the form of morphing and I can barely shower or brush my teeth. I never knew Depression could get this bad.


  9. Romans 12:2 – Renew your mind and take your thoughts captive. It's an exercise that needs to be repeated over and over; don't let emotions control you. Emotions aren't reality. Good explanation.

  10. Your the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, complete perfection in human form! Your eyes are full of so much light <3

    I also have schizophrenia. It's been a difficult trek, but rewarding nonetheless.Thank you for making videos, I love watching them :)Wishing you peace of mind, Autumn.

  11. Sometimes I think I have the negative symptoms of schizophrenia 'cause I have inappropriate behavior to things which gets me in trouble quite a bit at home, plus, I lack empathy which I can't stand. I feel sympathy just fine, but it's really hard for me to feel how others feel.

  12. I constantly see things blur past me and I freak out but no one else sees them and I also hear voices outside of my head, I can't even hear my own voice in my head…I completely disappear in my own body, its like my mind isn't mine and someone else makes me leave whenever they want…no one in my family understands me and it gets extremely frustrating and overwhelming, I have been followed by things that never existed and I would feel them touch me…I still freak out every time I hear a noise and I don't see what caused it…I am scared that I am schizophrenic and if I am, I just want to help and calm my life down and just become better but it seems like no matter how hard I try, that I am getting nowhere…

  13. dear +Autumn Asphodel ….i am 27 and have had schizophrenia since i was 18 and spent my 19th birthday in a mental wing, i have not had an episode since….i was spastic like you, i still get dilusions of grandeur, when i was first diagnosed i had nightmares every night and hated sleeping, i had paranoia….now at 27 i take very little medication and am a good father and husband and am reentering the workforce, i once felt my life was never going to be anything, that things would never get better….it did, they did.

    stick it out, speak about it to doctors and to friends and family as much as you can, make sure you stay on your medication, and always remember that you have an illness called schizophrenia and learn as much about it as you can, read about it a lot.

    things get better, life get better, you will find happiness 🙂

    goes out to everyone with schizophrenia

  14. +Autumn Asphodel I have been watching your videos for awhile now, and enjoy the unique perspective you bring to the issues you discuss. Overtime I have seen you mention many different personality disorders and classes of mental illness. What is your full list of the things you were diagnosed with in the past, may no longer apply, and are currently diagnosed with?

  15. I have had paranoid schizophrenia since 2010. I can relate to the nightmarish symptoms you described. I was diagnosed paranoid for pervasive hallucinations, and delusions wrapped around the hallucinations. The delusions were persecutorial, and I had sensory hallucinations. Up until I was about 22 I never had ideas that people were against me, or that I was the enemy of people. My rational since this (not a doctors idea, but anyway) was that if I have a set of 11 ideas, 10 of them may be rationally developed and understood, and then an 11th idea is added to the set which has no grounding in reason. But then the schizophrenic person assumes all 11 ideas are equivalently valid, and there is no reason to doubt any of them unless they are all reconsidered. This is like what you have to do, go over what makes sense. I have auditory hallucinations at times, but fortunately no more sensory hallucinations. I also jump from topic to topic, and change subjects all the time too. Rambling is very common, or as a professor says "hand waving arguments". I really appreciate your openness about this illness, I have tried to keep it hidden from almost everyone I have known since developing these symptoms.

  16. Dear Autumn,

    You are brave and inspirational. Thank you for being you, a perfectly imperfect human being (because that is all we can be in this plane of existence) and thank you for posting these personal and informative videos. May you always see the unique beauty within you and around you. I wish nothing but the best for you sweetie. Keep it up and never forget that you can do anything you put your mind to (Law of Attraction). Make your mark in this world and make them remember your greatness.

    Peace and Love,

  17. I too suffer from a slew of what this society calls "mental disabilities" and if ever given the chance I would love to speak to you and pick your brain. Ask human to human questions and share worldly philosophical perspectives.

  18. you dont have it. I know what feels like to have it i been going through it sents i was 12 years old and now im 24 years old and it seems like your playing like your schizophrenic

  19. it's crazy how close autism and schizophrenia are. i'm autistic and i have all these symptoms except for the hallucinations. i've had a couple auditory ones but that was not schiz related.

  20. Thank you for this video. You and other youtubers have helped me so much with coping with my disorder. You helped inspire me to make my own channel on my schizophreniform 🙂

  21. All schizophrenics you can message me, and give me your Facebook. I'm a evolutionary leader to bring you sound knowledge 🙂 Help you out theoretical minds. 🙂 As one of the avoidant introvert kings. c:

  22. When I watched this video I thought (joke!) that this young woman must have been reading my mind! People without the disorder would NEVER be able to understand what you are going through. When she named the symptoms she had to deal with I found myself shouting YES! YES! YES! with everyone. I think, in my case, I even went further in the sense that I could even smell some things which obviously weren't there. I had people, birds, dogs, everything watching me and tracking me, even on international and national plain and bus trips. (Like bird flying from city to city spreading the news that the hateful me will soon be arriving!) I've overheard murders that were never committed, seen people following me that were more than 30 hours plane trips away from me, had security police following me everywhere, and even survived and outwitted a massive manhunt by car, plane and helicopter! (They were trying to track me down and arrest me !). And watched a TV show on telly with people from my past discussing the question as to whether I was a menace to society or not). Problem is, in that state of mind one enters a new reality where "logicality" does not exist anymore. Everything you see, hear, smell, think becomes a new reality. In my case, I believed they were playing songs for me on the radio on the day I was destined to die, people were discussing me everywhere, there was a global internet game show to keep track of my whereabouts, they were committing murders all over the world and trying to blame it on me! They were going to crucify my (like Jesus, complete with cross, nails, and everything, underneath the floor of my neighbour's house) and then send me to Hell for all eternity. And everyone I knew and encountered was in on the plot. Even my dear wife. And there was nothing I could do to escape it, because it was pre-ordained, and I was simply the fall guy in history for the entertainment of the entire word!

  23. Found you after falling down am internet wormhole. Just wanted to say thank you. I have a brother who is paranoid schizophrenic and have know the struggles all my life. I myself have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Thank you for what you do and helping to normalize these disorders.

  24. i have been lately thinking so much and feeling fearful i feel i can hear my thoughts but not in my ear but in my head then i get this panic and fear thinking im going schizophrenic and i then find myself unable to control my overwhelming stress because if its just in my mind. i am fearful and would like to know if im going schizophrenic or is this something of anxiety i only get like this when im half awake and falling asleep i then cant go back to sleep because i think im hearing voices but i feel its all in my head. i dont hear them internally nor do i see things unless i make myself believe but i am a very spiritual man and am married to a wonderful wife. i just been panicking bad thinking "what if im going schizophrenic and i dont know, o my gosh im going to lose everyone i love" i do have (Harm OCD) which i fear its one of my biggest struggles to face and i cant afford no counciling nor therapy i have to face on my own. i need help can you tell me if it seems im schizophrenic or is it OCD im in panic as im writing this and fearful if i become one of my biggest fears ):

  25. I always thought something was wrong with me for thinking maybe I'm not just a regular human and that there's something "different" about me and someone is out there waiting to get me, but I'm not alone and I'm super thankful for this. I relate to a lot of this video. Thank you.

  26. I give you all the props in the world for recognizing your highs and lows and issues.. and being able to seek help when you need it. Others are not so lucky.. I know it's hard too.. Thank you for the information. I've spent the past few years dealing with persons that are unable to deal with recognizing they have issues and it's been a nightmare because they are people we care about and don't want to hurt or discard but have to protect ourselves and small children.

  27. I am curious. Have You been officially diagnosed or are you self diagnosing. Schizophrenia is exceptionally hard to treat and one with the disease generally does not accept the diagnosis or treatment of it because they are paranoid and disorganized in though. A general precursor of the disease is a psychotic break and oddly enough extreme weigh loss in most cases. Almost all people with this degenerative brain disorder go through this.

  28. Look up Melinda Smith here on YT. You can actually see/hear someone suffering from schizophrenia as it is happening in her videos. She has suffered quite a bit as well.

  29. I feel like I have a mixture of a few of these different schizophrenia types.. Does this still mean I may have schizophrenia?

  30. You mentioned that the schizophrenia started in 2012. I read in your"bio" you went full-time transgender at that time. Is this a connection? You are a beautiful person and I hope that everything goes well for you in all your endeavors.

  31. You are so great! What you have come through is amazing. It makes me sad that health professionals have tried to put you in a box. I am a medical doctor and feel ( considering your journey on this channel) that you don't fit any of the disorders, more that there are experiences in your past which make you prone to the symptoms and lifestyle you describe. As someone who had similar neglect issues in my past and who is also an empath I understand how you feel more comfortable being away from people. You have done so well to come as far as you have!

  32. you mentioned nothing about being clinically diagnosed with schizophrenia. it is impossible to diagnose yourself, as schizophrenia is often confused with other mental illnesses and is a long diagnosis process. have you been diagnosed or did you "diagnose yourself?"

  33. I was diegnosed years ago. I have an uncle & cousins with it two. You look & sound well. I cant live by myself otherwise i will 4get 2 take my meds, 4get to shower, eat … ect. I'm doing well tryin my best & following my set schedule . I dont go out unless its 4 Doctor apt. and i gotta keep the window shades closed.

  34. Thank you for helping me out in my schizophrenia project I used a good chunk on the info you gave throughout your channel

  35. In my opinion your personal illusions of grandeur have proven there worth, you are changing the world by doing these videos 🙂

  36. So basically you have schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, mutiple personality disorder and a bunch of other mental conditions. My question to you, without any sarcasm, tust me, is: don't you think all those things has to do with the fact that you didn't accept your gender? I mean, could that be a mental disorder too or the consequence of your mental issues? Have you ever considered that and treating the problem instead of going for changing sex (SRS)? It's a serious question with no sarcasm at all. If you wish to answer I'd be glad to read from you. Greetings.

  37. I've met people like her.

    I had a friend who said he was bipolar, depressed, sociopathic, psychopathic, schizophrenic & had ptsd at the same time.

    He was never diagnosed & he didn't have those problems. In the end I think they both have borderline personality disorder. He was abused too.

  38. When you starting laughing at the 'my mom died' i started hosing myself , I've done it on so many occasions everyone will be sad and It wouldn't bother me at all

  39. Have you been diagnosed? It is like nearly impossible to recognize a psychosis by oneself. The strong delusion of not being ill is one of the leading symptoms

  40. Sorry, but… without a diagnosis, or even being seen by a doctor about any of these disorders, you don't technically have them. I think you are getting a little mixed up here.

  41. I don't know what's happening so I'm just gonna ask for opinions. I sometimes see shadows and balls of colors and sometimes the walls will move around stuff like that just so you have an idea of what I see. I feel like whenever I talk to someone about what I see they just get worst. I'm starting to see new things all the time like it's getting worst. but mostly when I talk about it. I don't know if this is normal or not.

  42. why so many negative comments! mental illness is no laugh no matter who you or are where you are…..YOUR VID- your words are bulletproof

  43. What is sick is the insensativity of people that understand schizophrenia. Getting involved with the occult tend to swing toward Schizoid issues. Transgender a psychological issue currently believed by psychology but futher study may discover other wise. I sympathise entirely and understand the difficulties.

  44. Why believe you are being watched?… *COUGH* Edward SNOWDEN *COUGH** rolls eyes….. You sound like you have an infection effecting your sinuses with phantom smells. Could cause all the disorganized symptoms as well as make you feel brain dead or out of it periodically… More than likely fungal or some bacteria lacking a cell wall that is native to many people but only effects a small portion of people severely. had something like that go around here once. Everyone got it, no one knew what it was and took two years to find out it was a mycoplasma infection. Everyone seemed to get worse the more carbs they ate or higher their blood sugar would get but no doctor found it for what seemed like forever. Bottom line, look for a biological cause for phantom smells and cloudy thinking. Do not assume you are loosing your grip for no reason. There is always a physical cause and effect. There is always some way of killing it off even when most antibiotics do not work or only make it worse.

  45. Good job! You're doing a great service by sharing your story. Hang in there and keep the dialogue going. Information encourages an understanding which attracts compassion.

  46. Some people are so incredibly stoopid, maybe that should be a diagnosis!  Thank you for sharing Autumn and God Bless you for your courage.

  47. It's highly likely that I am a schizophrenic. I've got odd symptoms, not typical. I do have hallucinations, mostly I hear things that are both inside me, and seem to be coming from the world around me. Rarely, I experience visual hallucinations. I have been told that medications treating psychosis are not that great, and so far I have opted not to use them.

  48. Someone please answer me. I'm on my last straw and in need of hope. My question is can teens have schizophrenia? Like from a child to before an adult

  49. I thought I was the cause of 9/11. I know wtf kody. I burnt all my journals because i thought hidden messages was in my writing and that God told me to do it. And I went catatonic and was committed into a mental institution which was no fun but it did get me on medicine.

  50. People think am abnormal or weird because I'm very disorganised in my speech. I would be thinking about things not related to the subject. I also talk about things not related to the subject, I just feel something is wrong with me.

  51. I hear a voice plane as day i was in a deep sleep.. this guy was saying hey melissa its me … and i felt a hand feeling my feet.. i swear on life it self…i think i need to see.. if im ok.. or i think theres something is watching me.. i THINK.. there is … for what… i dont know what thay want …

  52. You’re truly an amazing and beautiful young woman. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with all those who suffer from trauma and abuse and the long term affects of parental abuse. You have helped someone I care for so much. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  53. I absolutely love your videos! You have helped me so much realize some characteristics in myself that I never thought anyone else had or thought of.. it’s so nice knowing I’m not alone in that aspect. Keep making these videos!! I’ve watched almost every single one and they’ve really helped me! Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us!!!💕

  54. You have schizophrenia and DID? Wow you’re going through a lot. Love and support from your fellow schizophrenics!! ❤️

  55. My experience with schizophrenia is very different from most. I have audio and visual hallucinations but I've never been afraid of them I knew they weren't real so I've always ignored them. I used to be very paranoid until but I've stopped by thinking whether my thoughts were logical or not. If they are illogical I just forget them. I used to terrible at socializing but I tauch myself to communicate by studying the ways people communicate and what they talk about. Because of so I have many friends.

  56. Positively mesmerizing affect and demeanor. Like a Druid Sorceress. Yet courageous to share her experience with us. I feel that her condition is genuine. Yet I base this on my observations on what I have seen where I live. I must stress that I am a layman.

  57. I sure do hope you have friends now. Also might I suggest Inventing a mind palace?

    They are really useful for orginising your thoughts ^^

  58. Schizophrenia I believe, is almost ALWAYS self created by everyone who has it. Let me explain. Personally in my head I can simulate roughly the thought process I would have to go through to end up with any disorder like schizophrenia or sociopath or psychopath, etc. And I've also experienced where I've heard voices like whispers. And I Know that those times I could have taken the schizophrenic path and tried listening to them harder and focusing on hearing them and racking my brain over them. Your brain is extremely powerful in these situations and you can from literally the wind become a full blown schizophrenic wll throughout a lifetime of reinforcing its symptoms. I've always just known this intuitively but before I knew some details of schizophrenia, I used to think that it was one of the ones you're born with. When I found out its something that manifests itself in adulthood usually, I instantly realized that it was self created

  59. I understand this mental illness more now after sharing your personal experience with us. To me, it sounds like something difficult to accept and expose to others. To live with this illness must be a daily challenge. But what I'd like to know is if you take medications and can someone come out of this illness? THANX

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