Step 3: Trust in God – Sharon’s Story about Crystal Meth Addiction Recovery

Step 3: Trust in God – Sharon’s Story about Crystal Meth Addiction Recovery


When I was 35 years old,
I just had the feeling like I’d rather
be dead than fat. At 136 pounds, I
thought that I was fat. So I was dealing
with this obsession, doing different things. You know, the bulimia,
the diet pills. And I just would do
anything not to be fat. I got a friend who was
doing crystal meth, and I asked for one little,
small little Baggie. “I don’t want to
do it to get high. I just want to do it so
that if I just take enough, it would suppress my appetite. And that’s all I want–just to
lose 10 pounds so I could be in my 120s again.” I became very quickly addicted,
within a matter of two weeks. Ice addicts have a term,
and they call it the chase. It’s every minute of your waking
day, you’re chasing the drug. One night I think my husband
was just kind of fed up with everything. He was going to leave me. As the addiction
progressed, I’d wake up and I’d say, “Am I going to live
or am I going to die today?” So I took about 20
muscle relaxers, and I drank a whole
bottle of tequila and ended up in
the emergency room. I knew I had to do
something or I was going to lose literally everything. When the therapist
said to me, “Any kind of recovery or any
recovery program is based upon faith in a
higher power or faith in God,” I was very angry. I was angry with God
because of all the things that had happened to me as
a child and all the things that I wanted Him to
fix that He didn’t fix. Back in the day, it
was called discipline. So I was angry with Him. So angry. Any addict knows that
there are other issues that fuel your addiction. Then I got a phone
call from a relative, and he said, “Auntie,
I just wanted to let you know that the Church
has an addiction recovery program.” Grudgingly, I told God, “OK,
I’m going to do it Your way. And if it doesn’t work out,
then You cannot blame me, because this is my one
last shot with You.” And so as we went through the
steps, that number 3 came up. And it was trust in God,
turning your will over to God. “OK, so now You’re telling
me the same old thing. I’ve got to do things Your way.” I couldn’t see it. The real help came one
day when I read an article from the Ensign, a
spiritual magazine that I said I was
never going to read. And in this article, he
talked about Lot’s wife. Lot and his family, of course,
were asked to leave the city. It was going to be destroyed. And they were cautioned,
“While you’re leaving the city, don’t look back.” And we all know that Lot’s
wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Why did this happen to her? Why was she turned into a pillar
of salt just for looking back? And he said it wasn’t so much
that she was looking back. It was because she
looked back with longing, that she looked back
yearning for the things that she had left in
Sodom and Gomorrah. Her heart was still there. When I read those words,
I said, “I am Lot’s wife.” You know? “I’m her, looking back and
longing for things that are not there–looking back for a
life that if I stayed in it, I would be destroyed.” In my mind, step 3 is all about
trusting God and realizing that the Creator of this universe
cannot only help you recover, but He can literally provide
a different life for you, a new heart for you. [MUSIC PLAYING]

43 comments

  1. can't make a good enough comment to give good enough thanks for this. What I felt while watching this was the spirit. This is where I'm at, where that sister used to be. She's an inspiration to me. Please make more of these AR inspired videos!! They speak to me better than just about anything in the gospel lol 🙂

  2. Sharon your story is beautiful. I am so glad you were willing to open up about the physical abide you suffered as a child and how it affected your faith and how you were angry with God.
    My favorite part of your story was when you found the true freedom and peace by finally letting go of the life you once lived. To no longer look back with longing.
    Stopped white knuckling and LET GO.
    You are a beautiful soul and I felt your love of recovery and God through this video!
    Thank you.

  3. LOVE ; RESPECT AND COGRATULATIONS!!!

    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER______;

    ……IF YOUCAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS. AND BLAMING IT ON YOU,
    IF YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF WHEN ALL MEN DOUBT YOU,

    . ……….. OR BEING HATED DON'T GIVE WAY TO HATING,
    AND YET DON'T LOOK TOO GOOD, NOR TALK. TOO WISE;

    (to be continued)

  4. This story and heartbreaking and at the same time inspiring. You get to see the inconvenience the substance has brought and the also the hope of going clean.

  5. Thank you for sharing Sharon. Your story brings great hope to those in addiction and those affected by those going through addiction. Thank you =)

  6. So moving that it literally gave me chills. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that every individual who needs treatment may find a way to recovery just like how you did.

  7. Sounds like she read "Remember Lot's Wife" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. One of my favorite BYU addresses of all time!

  8. I'd rather be dead than fat
    I thought some meth would help
    But the trouble was that
    I was lost in living hell
    I tried to overdose
    So sick of the "chase"
    There was so much to lose
    I tried church, just in case
    I learned to trust in God
    And surrender my will
    I found happiness again
    From my past, I did heal

  9. I am so pleased you have sought God the father and jesus christ to help in your recovery it's now assured God bless pet

  10. Nice videos BUT if/when you go for counselling (even through the Church) still you have to pay money out of your own pocket. Some counselors are better than others peer counselling works okay but if a counselor uses active listening skills the way they are supposed to be used this helps more than anything. The best active listener is Heavenly Father because He listens not only with ears, a brain, and a heart but with all of His soul

  11. Thank you SISTER. Blessed by your story. All Glory to our SAVIOR Jesus Christ. Im not the man want to be ,but i am sure not the man I use to be.

  12. Tears weld up. Thank you, beautiful story. Glad you made it that far. I know it's hard. When I finally surrendered, that's when I became free.

  13. Your Mormon!!!! No wonder you had a problem with the spiritual part of AA. Hey guys please check out my recovery meth channel. Or don't and get high

  14. Today I have been clean 25 days. What I have learned after 14 years of relapses since being involved with the 12-step program is that God will allow us to wonder, like Moses and the children of Israel, for "40 years" if we don't do recovery the right way. It truly is one day at a time. It doesn't matter if we have 25, or 250, or 2,500 days sober. We have to take care of our spiritual/physical needs/obligations on a daily basis, or else our recovery will be shaky. I have experienced years of sobriety, 10 months, 5 months, and so on. But when we get lazy with the process, the weeds in our spiritual garden fester our souls until we relapse. All we have to do is "look and live". The easiness of "the way" is not an excuse to get lazy with our daily obligations to read/pray/repent/serve. We need to focus on today.

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