The Russ Perry Show: Episode 20 – Signs You Are Addicted

The Russ Perry Show: Episode 20 – Signs You Are Addicted


– Well hello everyone. We’re running a tiny bit late here. The old internets were continuing to break at the offices here at Design Pickle. But this is the Russ Perry show. I am so happy you are here. And this is a very special
episode on multiple occasions. First, it’s episode number 20. I don’t think I’ve created 20
of anything in my entire life, let alone weekly in a row show so I’m very excited about that. If you don’t know, we’re also
syndicating these on iTunes so you can get over there,
just search Russ Perry show and subscribe so you can
listen to it on your car, your bike ride, your canoe rides. But also, this is the last
episode that we’re actually having here in our studio until
we move to our new offices which will be a bit sketch
for a while cuz we’re doing some remodeling and construction. So there’ll actually be
quite a dip in our production quality as we move, but don’t worry, the content will continue to come. But today’s episode,
we’re gonna be talking about a very kind of real topic. And this is signs you are addicted. When I talk about addiction,
most people just assume substances, they assume alcohol or drugs or these things that are very easy to know if you’re addicted or not. But there are so many other subtle things, both with substances and then
ways you could be addicted to other things that people
are not even aware of. So that is it, that is not it, but that is the topic
for today’s episode 20 of Russ Perry show. Stay tuned and thanks for
tuning in, here we go. (techno music) ♪ Let’s go. ♪ There’s a new way of living to give you the unfair advantage in all areas of life. Body, being, balance and business. Follow my journey each
week and learn first hand why sober equals success. Welcome to the Russ Perry Show. (techno music) So whenever I have a
conversation with someone about what I’m doing and the
sober brand and my book here, actually have a copy here
conveniently located, The Sober Entrepreneur. Most of the time, the
conversations revolved around my addictions and my
past behaviors around alcohol. Substances are the number
one thing that we think of when we both hear the term
sober as well as addiction. It’s just what’s in the
media, it’s what’s perpetuated with things like Alcoholics
Anonymous, celebrities, all of this stuff, like, that
is the essential vibe and brand, the dominating conversation,
it is with substances. But the reality is, and I
talk about this in my book, we are all addicted to something. It may not be as obvious
as it was for me in my life where I was drinking during the daytime, I was making extremely poor
decisions, risking my life and risking my family
and risking my marriage, risking my businesses. All of those consequences that
come with impaired judgments around alcohol. I would even argue that the
other kinds of addictions which we’ll get into in
a bit, are more dangerous because their effects are subtle. Their effects compound
not over a day or a week, but months and years and decades. And these compounding effects
end up having the consequences that you can rarely recover from. For example, a liver failure or a divorce. Things that you could probably
fix if it was the first inkling, the first small
indications of problems. But unfortunately, some
addictions hide dormant for years. And like I said, decades
until all collapses in and the consequences rear their ugly head and then it’s too late. At least with alcohol and some substances, the incremental decline or challenges are a lot more apparent. Now we may not always
be as wise and as smart to acknowledge those
changes and recognize those as warning signs. However, it’s more substantial,
it’s more concrete. So how do we know if we’re addicted? That’s the topic of today’s episode. But I did what every
eighth grade essayist does, when they’re writing a paper, I looked up the definition of addiction. I wrote it down right
here, I didn’t memorize it. You know like the essay
that starts off like define inspiration. The Webster’s Dictionary
defines inspiration as blah blah blah blah blah blah. So here’s the definition of
addiction, roughly paraphrased. Addition is when we’re
physically or mentally dependent on something and we’re
continuing that dependency because if we stop, there are
going to be adverse effects. And I’ll add on there, or the
perception of adverse effects. So let’s go through a
couple examples here, from the really concrete
to the more abstract. When I was addicted to
alcohol, and I was drinking, there was a biochemical
effect when I would stop. That would be depression,
that would be being tired, that would be the facing
the consequences of all of the responsibilities
that I had been sweeping under the rug for the day
or the weekend or whatever, along that bender was. So I would continue to drink
because it would at least in my mind, push away
and hide the perception of these consequences. So, we’ll switch over to the tablet here. So if I have these consequences, consequences, it’s been a while, you
know, I’ve been traveling, I’ve not been on the tablet here. But if I have consequences
and then I have my habit, we’re just gonna call it habit, that I’m addicted to. It’s my addiction, at
least on the surface, sort of insulates me, A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N, sort of insulates me from
facing these consequences. The truth is though, those
consequences are always there. So if I’m drinking, whatever
I’m trying to avoid, or if I’m smoking a joint,
whatever I’m trying to de-stress about, or if I’m working
all day and all night, whatever I’m trying to
accomplish and overcome, those things remain. My addiction does nothing
except for postpone or avoid the consequences that exist. So the concrete
consequences are really easy when we’re talking about
biochemistry or let’s say we’re talking about a tough
conversation with our wife. Like, ah, I’d rather go to
the bar and have a drink with my buddies than face her. Oh, I’d rather, you know,
put the kids to bed and have a joint and have a smoke
rather than tackling a big, you know, challenge in my
home or in my business and that extra time could be
used to solve that problem, but instead, I sort of avoid it. So this perception that
the addiction prevents the consequences is totally false. And the dictionary has kind
of weird interpretation. It’s more it delays, or it pushes off. And I don’t know about you
but any time I’ve avoided something, what ends up happening? Avoidance amplifies the consequences. So whatever you’re afraid of,
whatever you’re worried about, that thing, if you don’t tackle
it and you push it off and you push it off and you push it off, then what ends up happening
is the consequences of finally dealing with
that become larger and larger and larger. I’ll give another concrete example, that’s not related to substances. Recently, I encountered an incident where someone I know was challenged
in dealing with an addiction that they had regarding, I
don’t know how to describe it, I guess, inappropriate
behavior with women. Now this person was in a relationship, this person was someone
that you would never perceive this to be a challenge. But they never addressed this issue. They never addressed the
issue, they never addressed the issue, they never addressed the issue, until the issue got so
big, it boiled over and it became something that was irreparable. If this person had talked about this or faced their consequences versus
succumbing to the habits and fueled by the addition of his behavior, I am certain that the consequences, just hit the button,
we’re recording live here, I’m certain that the
consequences would have not been as extreme and perhaps even
been able to be recovered from the problems and the
issues that this person was facing with. So I argue that addictions
are merely a smoke screen that hides the consequences temporarily. But what happens with smoke? It eventually dissipates and
it eventually blows away. Now there’s another piece to this that I’ve seen time and time again. Often these consequences are actually, I’ll keep the cloud analogy here, they’re completely made up. Have you ever, you know,
I assume a lot of you watching this have flown. Like if you see a cloud
and you don’t understand the environment, you don’t
know how clouds are made, if you’re just a kid
and you look at a cloud, it’s really realistic to
believe that this is like, literally, like a pillow or
a cotton ball in the sky. I mean it looks like a thing. And until it gets kind
of wispy and dissipates, like that cloud is solid. But if you actually go up into a cloud, and you’re inside a cloud,
well all of a sudden, there’s nothing there. It fades, it’s misty, sometimes
it doesn’t even seem like you’re inside of a cloud. Like if you’re passing
through it on an airplane. And so for us, when we’re looking
at facing our consequences or facing the perceived
consequences of our addictions, like quitting drinking, quitting smoking, you know talking about an
inappropriate relationship or facing a boss that’s a
nightmare, or a job that you don’t like, those consequences
we create in our own mind and they actually prevent us from tackling whatever it is we’re facing with. And so this is like,
play text book, 101, like every time I talk to
someone who’s entertaining quitting drinking, granted
they’re not in a dire situation, always, they’re like, you
know, I just, I don’t know what my friends are gonna say,
like I’m a social drinker, um, you know, just, it’s not,
I don’t really have a problem but I’ve kind of been thinking about it. And a lot of these things
that they think about, are just completely fabricated. They’re not real at all. And so there’s two consequences
that we struggle with when we have an addiction to something. The first are the real
consequences which usually are around facing the issues
you’re trying to avoid. And the second are the fake,
like perceived consequences that we’ve created, that
rationalize us not quitting, or not facing our addiction. Now other signs that you’re addicted, are all around us. There’s the biochemical
ones and I’ve in passing mentioned other ones,
but let’s revisit those. Other signs really concrete
that you’re addicted is you’re avoiding
challenging conversations. So, you could be avoiding
challenging conversations and you may not realize
it but by avoiding that, you’re actually fueling
an addiction elsewhere. Don’t wanna go home, so you
go to the gym for two hours. Don’t wanna deal with the stress
of your significant other, so you drink all weekend. You are really unhappy at
work but you don’t wanna deal with it, you don’t wanna talk to your wife about potentially
quitting and the risks or this cool business idea that you have, and so you just show
up every single day and deal with the bullshit
that you’re faced with in a dead end job that’s
murdering you slowly. So addictions are wrapped up
in a lot of other behaviors. And it’s sometimes hard
to see or acknowledge that we have an addiction in our lives. If we don’t look at those
ancillary behaviors. So avoiding tough conversations is one. Another is, eternal adolescence. This is mainly driven to the
men out there watching this who are unmarried without children. If that is you, and you’re
like over the age of 30, then there is something
that you’re addicted to that you’re not acknowledging. This could be, you’re addicted to, like, having no responsibilities,
as abstract as that may seem, which is affecting you
and ultimately robbing an amazing person that you
could ultimately be with and a family that you could start. It’s no question that I’m pro family here on this Russ Perry Show. I have three daughters,
I have an amazing wife, I have a great family that
I have embraced and loved and getting to that point required me to accept responsibility for myself. And so if you’re avoiding
those commitments, that is a sign of addiction. Now, rather than abstract
things, things you could get addicted to that some
people don’t acknowledge, like we’ve mentioned, physical activity, running is a great one. I know many men, and my business
and professional coach and mentor Garrett J. White has
talked about how he used to run ultra marathons just so he
wouldn’t have to have a hard conversation with his wife. So for me, that is one of
the signs that if you’re at the extreme of endurance,
athleticism, and you’re not being paid for it, like
that’s not your job, then you’re avoiding something. Another could be with
professional commitments. You are at a point of
breaking point professionally, but you’re rationalizing and
justifying the eventual rewards down the road. Food is another one,
rather you eat too much, you don’t eat enough, you eat bad stuff, you’re
OCD about only eating fruit that’s fallen off the
tree and nothing else, those could all be signs of addiction. Because what it is, is it
is this smoke screen right? We don’t want to face the
true feelings that we have, the feeling, the consequences,
and so we fill this gap with our addiction and we never allegedly, have to actually get to those things. So there’s a big conversation here, and totally self
promotional, go get my book. It’s actually now free, if you
go to soberentrepreneur.com you can get a copy, you pay
for shipping and handling whether it’s here in the United
States or internationally we’ll ship anywhere in the world. And you can understand what
I mean and understanding and unpacking this concept of addiction. Cuz eventually during
the show, I wanna talk about the sober side, which
is actually the cool fun lifestyle, amazing side of all of this. But we cannot get to that conversation until we fully understand
and are on the same page about addiction. So do yourself a favor, go
to soberentrepreneur.com get a free copy of the book and that’ll help you get up to speed. So this wraps up our final
episode here in the offices. If you’re on podcast, you have no idea what I’m talking about, but
this has been episode number 20. If you’re not subscribed to the show, we send out show notes and a
recap every Tuesday morning. Go to RussPerry.co/show,
pop in your email and you’ll start getting those as well. These are actions guides to
help you kind of fill out, unpack a concept in your own
office or in your own minds, and we’ll include this episode as well. Thank you so much, we’ll
talk with you next week wherever we’re gonna be
filming, same time same place for the live stream 12:30
Mountain Standard Time here in Arizona on a Tuesday
and catch all the past episodes and recording on RussPerry.co/show. Take care, see you next time. Check out past episodes and
download custom action guides at RussPerry.co/show. (techno music) ♪ Let’s go. ♪

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